by Loc Glin
“I’m sure you realize, not all of us act like we are more woman than man. For some of us it is that way though. I think they have the hardest time of it.”
“So, explain to me why it was a long time in coming.”
“I’m going to tell you the whole story, Adrian. Please try not to judge or draw any conclusions until I’m finished. Promise me.”
“Why would I judge you?”
“Just promise me, Adrian.”
“Okay, I promise.” He could feel himself frowning.
“Don’t look so worried. It’s not a horror story.”
Adrian tried to relax, but it was difficult. He moved his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the tension he held there. “I think I’m ready now.”
Jon smiled and squeezed Adrian’s hand before he began his story. “My mother never married my father. She said that he asked, but now that I am an adult, I’m not so sure. I think she told me that because she wanted me to think that he was a decent human being, and that he cared about her and me. No matter what she says in his defense, he showed his true colors when he left. He stuck around for about a month after I was born. I never knew him. I give thanks for that small favor every day.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? I’m not the only person in the world who’s had an absentee parent, and I sure as hell won’t be the last.”
“So you don’t hate him?”
“How can I hate someone I never knew? I certainly don’t love him. He’s sort of a nonentity. He means nothing to me. I gave up wondering about him a long time ago. I gave up caring before that.”
“Did your mother ever tell you how she felt about him leaving?”
“I think it bothered her more than she ever let on. I think she actually loved him. All of my life she never found anyone she cared enough about to commit to or to stay with for any length of time. Men came and went, or there wasn’t a man around at all. She was with one man for a few years. I was pretty young. I hardly remember him, so I never really had a father figure.”
“That’s sad.”
“Maybe it is, but I don’t see it that way. We had a neighbor who looked out for me. He was an older gentleman. I was young when I met him. He must have been in his forties, and to me, an eleven-year-old kid, that was old. I was trying to earn money and offered to mow his lawn for a modest fee. He was a really nice person. He actually taught me how to mow his lawn using his lawnmower.” Jon chuckled at the memory. “I started hanging around his house. I liked talking with him, and I learned a lot. He was a very smart man. At least he seemed really smart to me at the time. I became very attached to him. I was always hanging around him. My mother thought I was annoying him and told me to stay away from him. When I stopped coming around, Brad came to my house to make sure I was okay. My mother apologized to him for me pestering him and told him that I wouldn’t bother him anymore. He assured my mother that I wasn’t a bother. After that, she never worried about me, at least she didn’t seem to. She knew she could find me at Brad’s house more times than not. I think she was thankful for his male influence on me.”
“It sounds like Brad was a father figure to you.”
“In many ways he was. In other ways he wasn’t.”
“It seems like he was there for you.
“Always. I could talk to him about everything. He’d lost his wife a few years before I met him. I never gave much thought to him being alone. My mother was alone, or should I say without a husband, so Brad being without a wife didn’t seem out of the ordinary. Brad had his male friends that came and went, just like my mother had her female friends. My point is…I never knew he was homosexual.”
“So he made advances on you when you were a just a kid? The bastard!”
“No, Adrian. You promised not to judge, remember?”
“I’m sorry. Go on with the story.”
“When I was a kid, my lack of interest in girls wasn’t apparent. As a teenager and through high school, I tried to get interested. I was pretty athletic, and I was on the football team. I did date, and I hung around the guys that all the girls wanted to be with. So there was always a girl trying to get to know me. I went through the motions of being a normal male teenager, but it didn’t feel right. I just didn’t fit in comfortably. I finally decided to talk to Brad about it.”
“Is that when you found out he was gay?”
“Not really. You see, when I went to his house, he was hugging one of his friends good-bye. A simple hug, he did it all the time…I don’t know why, but it seemed like it was so much more than simple that time. Brad introduced me to his friend, and then the man left. I still remember the conversation we had that day.
“Brad looked concerned and asked me if something was wrong. I told him that I needed to talk to someone about sex. He kind of chuckled because he thought that I was popular with the girls.
“I’d known that he’d been married. I wanted to know if he had been physically attracted to his wife when they first met. I was relieved when he said he hadn’t been. I told him I was beginning to get worried because I wasn’t horny every time I saw a girl in a short skirt. All my friends could talk about was how they wanted to screw every girl that they saw.
“He asked me if I was interested in boys. I got a little defensive and told him that I wasn’t. He told me not to worry. I would fall in love when the right woman came along. He said that he’d met Amanda, his wife, in college. Amanda was his first true love. He told me that life changes in college. He said I would grow up and discover what was really important to me. He told me not to worry, that everything would work out just fine. I felt better after that talk. I went away to college full of hope.”
“What happened?”
Jon frowned. “After considerable trial and error, I decided it wasn’t worth the effort. When I was with a woman, I just felt out of place. My friends actually thought I was trying to screw every woman that I met. I was looking, really trying to find my Amanda. I went through the motions. I touched, I sucked and licked, and I fucked. I didn’t enjoy it. There was no connection.
“I did, however, discover that men were a different story. I stayed in the closet. I coveted male bodies from afar, never letting anyone know how I really felt. Two months before final graduation, I worked up the nerve and made a move on someone I thought might be interested in me.”
“And?”
“He shut me down. I couldn’t have been more embarrassed. I was so thankful I didn’t have to return for another semester. I was sure he’d told everyone we knew that I’d come on to him. I never kept in touch with any of my friends because of it. Looking back, that was stupid of me. I had some really good friends. They would have understood.”
“So what happened?”
“I went home. I’d been accepted into the Firefighter’s Academy of Riggiu and was completing the courses. My mother became ill. I went to stay with her to help take care of her. I was almost twenty-four. My mother still lived next door to Brad. We took up our friendship where we left off. It was different now. He treated me like a man, an equal. He was proud that I wanted to become a firefighter. That knowledge pushed me on when things got tough.
“I noticed the men, not that there was a huge number of them, but he had three men that he saw regularly. When I was around, they tried to hide the intimacy between them. I’d loved him when I was young, but it was nothing like the way I began to feel when I was grown up. As an adult I realized that he was my Amanda, my true love. The hard fact was…I was in love with this man. He meant more to me than anything. He had become my reason for living.”
“He didn’t know, did he?”
“I don’t think so. If he did, he waited until I approached him about it. One day I realized I was jealous of the men that he was seeing. It was driving me crazy. Mind you, I wasn’t positive beyond all doubt that Brad did have sexual relations with these men. I just couldn’t stand not knowing anymore. I had to get over my fear of rejection, and of being found out.”
“You must have been really confused about your feelings.”
“Truthfully, it was a relief to finally find love, to recognize it and to act on those feelings, but I was scared shitless. This was Brad, my Brad. Knowing that gave me courage. If anyone would understand my feelings, it would be him. One night after one of his friends…Michael was his name, left, I was feeling extremely jealous. I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. No matter what the outcome, I had to have a talk with Brad. I eased into the conversation by bringing up the old conversation about Amanda. I remember exactly what we said, because it changed my life forever.”
“Well?” Adrian felt his heartbeat quicken. “I want to hear it.”
Jon smiled and nodded as he picked up the story once again.
“I asked him if he remembered the conversation about women we had before I went away to college. It turned out that he remembered talking about his wife and my fears about women. I asked him if he remembered asking me if I liked boys. I was relieved when he said he did.
“I had no idea how he was going to react when I told him that I thought that he was my Amanda, my first true love.
“When he smiled, I jumped in head first and told him that I was jealous of Michael and the other men in his life. Jealous, because I thought he was more than friends with them. I thought that they were his lovers. I blurted out that I wanted to be his lover, too.
“I was so afraid that he was going to hate me and throw me out of his house. He didn’t. Instead he asked me if I’d ever had sex with a man. When I told him I hadn’t he smiled and said, ‘Then your ass is cherry. I’ve never had a cherry before.’ He assured me that we would take it slow and easy because he wanted me ready for him when he took my ‘virgin ass.’ He told me that he’d lusted after me for a very long time, but said nothing because he was afraid he would scare me away. He introduced me to man love that night. Almost the same way I’ve introduced you.”
“What happened to him?”
“He died a few years later. I loved every minute I had with him.”
“How did he die?”
“He was killed in an automobile accident. A drunk driver crossed over into his lane and hit him head-on.”
“You must have been devastated.”
“Yeah, I was pretty upset.”
“Do you still think of him?”
“Once in a while a memory will pop into my head, but for the most part, no. Not like I once did. My life sort of came to a halt for a few years after he died, but I eventually found someone to fill the hole his death left in my heart. He is in the past. I know that he would want me to be happy. If I had refused to love again, he would roll over in his grave. He always told me that love was the key to happiness. He still lives on in my memory. I’m hoping that will happen for you with Angelina. Maybe that’s why you had that dream. She wants you to see that she’s all right with you moving on with your life. Maybe she wanted me to tell you my story, so you will know your memories of her are memories and belong in the past. Maybe she’s trying to tell you that you shouldn’t feel guilty for living because that is what the living do. To live, you really need to love and be loved. I think she knows that’s what’s happening to you, and she wants you to know that she’s okay with it, and that it’s a good thing.”
“Wow! I just had the oddest feeling.”
“Feeling?”
“Well, more of a sensation. It felt like a caress over my heart. Like a weight was lifted. I swear I heard Angelina whisper, ‘Yes!’ and her soft laughter filled my mind.” Adrian squeezed Jon’s knee. A tear was forming in his eye as he said. “Angelina just said good-bye to me, Jon.”
“Welcome back to the living, Adrian. Let’s celebrate by making love.” Jon rose up and cupped Adrian’s face in his hands. “I love you, Adrian. Love me back in return.”
“I do.” Adrian’s eyes settled into the warmth of Jon’s gaze. “Let’s make love. Tonight I want you to take my cherry ass. I think I’m ready.”
The smile Jon bestowed on him made him feel like he was the luckiest man alive.
Jon went into the draw of the nightstand next to the bed and withdrew a bottle of K-Y Jelly and then placed it on top of the table. “We will use this. I know I’m hot for you, but I don’t think my pre-cum will be enough to make this easy on you.”
“It may be easier than you think. I’m pretty hot for you, too.” Adrian took Jon’s cock in his hand. “I can’t wait to have this in my ass. It will make me feel even more connected to you. You will be my first. You never forget your first. Isn’t that what they say?”
“That has been my experience. I am honored to be your first, Adrian. Now, stand up and let me suck your cock.”
Obediently, Adrian stood. Jon sat at the edge of the bed and began to suck on Adrian’s cock. Adrian’s channel filled with lubricant. Jon squeezed the precious drops to the tip of Adrian’s penis and beyond. He then collected the harvest on his fingertip. “This should help,” he said. “Spread your legs, Adrian. I want better access to that tight hole.”
Adrian increased the distance between his feet. He even spread his butt cheeks apart to make it easier. Jon’s expert fingers found his anus. He felt the slippery fluid as it was massaged into his quickly relaxing muscle. Jon’s mouth found Adrian’s cock once again. As Jon sucked on Adrian’s cock, he increased the pressure on Adrian’s anus. Before long, the tip of Jon’s finger had worked its magic on Adrian, relaxing the tight muscle and delving to the second knuckle and back, repeatedly.
“I think you’re ready for deeper penetration,” Jon said as he applied the lubricant to his finger and Adrian’s ass.
“Yeah, you haven’t given me enough. I want more. Give me your cock, Jon.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“If it’s too much, let me know and we’ll go back to my finger until you’re ready.”
“All right, but I’m more than ready.”
Jon stood. He tore open a condom.
“Let me do that for you,” Adrian said. Jon handed him the open package. Adrian sat on the bed. He kissed Jon’s cock before he slipped the rubber over Jon’s throbbing organ. He relished the knowledge that he was the cause of this magnificent hard-on. “You feel so good. I can’t wait.”
“Then stand up and bend over, because I want to make you mine. I want to fuck your perfect virgin ass.”
“Damn, I’m so fucking hot and ready for this,” Adrian said as he leaned over.
Jon laved his cock and Adrian’s anus with K-Y Jelly. “I’m going to start slow. Once the head is inside, it will be more comfortable. Play with yourself, Adrian. Keep yourself hot for me. Try to relax.”
Adrian felt the tip of Jon’s penis pressing into his ass, slowly spreading it open. Jon removed the pressure, only to begin pressing again, each time stretching the sphincter open wider. Before long, yet much too slowly as far as Adrian was concerned, the entire head of Jon’s cock was inside his anus. Jon sucked in a hiss through his teeth and moaned with pleasure as the sphincter closed tightly around the head of his cock.
“Give me more, Jon, please. You’re driving me crazy like this. I want to be pumped.”
“I know you do, Adrian, and you will be. Just let me savor this. Remember, it’s my first time in a virgin ass. It feels fucking amazing.”
Jon pressed in deeper and began a subtle rhythm which Adrian picked up and began to press into. Jon’s cock was buried to the hilt a few minutes later.
“Fuck, Adrian, you amaze me at every turn. You made this so easy. A few strokes more and I’m going to pop my load.”
“Let go and enjoy yourself. I want to feel your cock pulse its release, the same way you feel mine when I come inside you. I’m almost ready to blow off myself. I’m sure that will push me over the edge.”
Jon’s body tensed as he came. Adrian enjoyed the feeling of surrender he got from experiencing this act with Jon, the feeling of being one with Jon in a different way. He ejaculated into the air a moment
later, but he’d never felt himself come like this before when he’d masturbated. It was like a shared come between him and Jon, another new sensation. A sensation he wanted to enjoy more often.
Chapter 12
“Florence, where is Signora Rosa?”
“The signora is in the studio, Signore Adrian.”
“Grazie.” Adrian walked past the pool area and through the high hedges that gave the studio complete privacy. He wondered about that, given the fact that they walked around nude half of the time anyway.
Rosa had showed him where the studio was located, but she’d been called away before she could give him the tour. He’d heard that some artists were particular about showing their work, so he left without going inside. The contents of the studio could be plainly seen from the outside. Rosa told him that Leon preferred natural light when he painted, so he’d converted the greenhouse into a studio.
Adrian walked past the glass panes to the door. He tapped gently. Rosa waved for him to come inside.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you,” he said.
Jon was stretched out in a pose on the open-backed sofa. Adrian smiled. “So this is what the painting looks like from the other direction.
“What are you talking about, Adrian?” Rosa asked.
“The day I arrived, I told you about a painting. Do you remember?” He closed the door behind him.
“Vaguely, I thought it was the bump on your head talking. It didn’t make much sense.”
“It didn’t make much sense to me either. It still doesn’t, but this is the painting.” He moved his arm to encompass the room. “Well, it would be if I was standing over there.” He pointed to a spot just beyond Jon.
“This vase of roses was on the table just as it is now.” He touched the table. “You were painting, like you are now, and Jon was posing, just like he is now. This is very strange.”
Rosa’s breath hitched. “Leon painted us just as you described. He gave that painting to a friend in New York, and you found us because of it. It’s like he’s watching out for me. Now I know we are meant to be together.”