“I’m ready.” He looked like he had tasted sour milk.
“I see now that Deana was an easy excuse. If I blamed her and decided you were still in love with her, then I never had to deal with the possibility you didn’t feel as strongly about me.”
“Let’s get one thing straight.” He lifted their joined hands to the space over his heart.
The pounding came right through his shirt and knocked against her hand, steady and reassuring. “I’m listening.”
And living on every word.
“What I feel for you is very different from what I felt for Deana.”
A breath left her with a sharp thwack. She’d had no idea the truth could cause that much pain. “Oh, I see.”
He smiled at her. “No, you don’t.”
“It’s okay.” She needed to move back, break his hold. She thought she could handle this part and accept a smaller piece of him than he’d given to Deana in the past. Live with that and try to build more.
But she was wrong.
“I’m not going to lie to you. I did love her.” His dark eyes filled with a sentiment Katie couldn’t identify.
“We can stop talking about this now.”
“Our relationship was calm and relaxed and did not challenge me at all. We probably would have bumped along and, as Seth says, eventually bored the crap out of each other.”
Wait… “Seth?”
“He uses different words, but you get the idea.”
Katie had always imagined a perfect relationship between Deana and Eric. His description now destroyed all her preconceived notions and started healing the broken parts of her.
“You were a mess at her wedding.”
“My feelings were raw. I felt betrayed by her. The truth is that I did everything I knew how to do, but with or without Ryan, it was never going to work.”
Katie desperately wanted to believe that. So much so that she was embarrassed by her need to see Deana as less than perfect. “How can you know that?”
“You look at her and see a certain type of woman.”
That one was easy. “Rich, beautiful, and totally put together.”
“Like everyone else in the world, she has a past. She hid it from me because she thought I couldn’t take it or that it would conflict with my political plans, or whatever.”
“She was protecting you.” Katie knew because she’d done the exact same thing.
“I used to think that, but now I know the truth. She didn’t believe in me, or us, enough to tell me.”
Everything inside Katie ground to a halt. Her heart and lungs shut down as she tried to process his simple comment.
Was that what she’d been doing? She’d been convinced that Eric only needed to know the here and now. She justified holding back by saying it would give him deniability if anyone ever asked during the election. She’d never seen the situation from his perspective.
“She thought I cared when I really didn’t. If I lose an election because of something someone close to me did as a teenager, then I can live with that.” He was talking about Deana, but it was clear he was referring to Katie as well.
“But you’ve wanted this position forever.”
“I want it because I think I’ll be good at it, but it’s not my whole life. Not anymore.”
She had dreamed of hearing those words from him. All she’d ever wanted was for him to make room for her in his life.
“What changed?” she asked.
“You.”
She fell into him then, let her body rest against his, with their hands trapped between them. “I love when you say things like that.”
“You walked into my life and knocked me over.” He spoke into her hair. “I’d lost track of fun and everything outside my office door. Meeting you was like being flooded with light again.”
“Oh, Eric.”
“Every time I thought you betrayed me, I hunkered down and searched my head for a way to forget it.” He brushed his nose against hers. “That wasn’t because I don’t feel passion. It’s because I can’t imagine living without you. I thought if I forgave everything, you’d never have a reason to leave.”
“I was so worried it was all about sex.”
He pulled his head back and gave her a frank stare. “And I worried that was the only way I could hold you.”
She dropped her forehead to his shoulder. “We’re a pathetic pair.”
“But we are a pair.”
“You talked about Deana’s past—” Katie said the words into his neck.
“I know about the drug charge against you.”
“You…what?”
“I have access to all the court records. That information is easy for me to find.”
“And you went looking.” She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Not too good was her initial reaction.
“Something Cara said tipped me off.”
“Figures.”
“But it’s more than that, Katie. I know about the guy who turned out to be married. All of those things and not one of them matters to me.” He tipped up her chin. “Please believe that.”
From any other man it would sound like a line, but Eric spoke with such depth of feeling. From his hands to his eyes to his words, he told her he loved her. Maybe not in the traditional way, but in ways that mattered even more.
He didn’t judge. He didn’t want a pretty version of her past. He wanted her as she was. It was a gift she’d never expected to get.
She lifted her head. Their mouths were close enough to touch. She could feel his breath against her cheek. “You sound like a saint.”
“I can assure you, I’m not.”
“Pretty forgiving then.”
“It’s a matter of being realistic, sitting at a desk every day and seeing the horror that happens between people. I can take most anything you throw at me, but you have to be honest and you have to tell me.”
And that would start right now. Hard or easy, she’d put it out there and then let him decide. “I didn’t have anything to do with the video.”
“I know.” He pressed a light kiss against her mouth.
“You were not a mark or a way to work a con.”
The second kiss began as a nibble on the corner of her mouth and traveled to the other side, stealing her breath with every tiny touch. “I know that, too.”
And here was the big admission. Everything rode on his reaction to her next comment. “I meant it when I said I loved you.”
His body stilled.
Panic raced through her blood. Had she gone too far? The way his hand squeezed hers, she didn’t think so.
“Eric?”
“Thank God,” he whispered.
The floodgates burst open then. Her hands plowed into his hair as her mouth toured his face. “I love you so much.”
“Yes,” he mumbled between kisses.
“It happened so fast.”
He stopped her rambling with a long aching kiss that shot through her senses like a bolt of electricity. It promised hope and forgiveness, strength and compassion. With each deepening stroke of his tongue, he burned his body into hers. By the time he lifted his head, they were both panting.
But she needed one more thing.
She pressed her hand against his cheek, letting her love pour through her and into him. “Will there ever be a time when you tell me you love me?”
His dark eyes widened. “You have to know I do.”
Funny enough, she did. They’d been so fractured just a short time ago, but the second she walked into his apartment today she knew.
She felt it in his loving gaze and the way he hovered over her as if ready to pounce should anyone try to hurt her. She heard it in the way he stood up for her to Kevin. Through small acts and big gestures, he told her all the time.
“You’ve showed it and lived it, but never said it.” And she needed to hear the words.
“Then shame on me.” Eric’s hand plunged through her hair. “I do love you.”
H
er stomach flipped. If someone asked her to describe the feeling, she’d sum it up in one word: freedom.
“And now you’ve told me you love me in every way that counts.” She couldn’t stop kissing him.
“I started loving you that first day in the bathroom.”
She snorted. “That was lust.”
“By the time I saw you in the kitchen, it had turned into something else.” His gaze searched hers.
“What?”
“I wasn’t sure then except to know lust evaporates. This doesn’t.”
Sweet talker. “What now?”
“I’ve heard about this interesting concept.” He closed one eye as if he was searching his mind for the right word.
“Oh, really?”
“Makeup sex.”
She waited for the rush of doubts, for that little voice in her head to tell her that she was only an eager and willing body to him. This time the nagging stayed quiet. She didn’t even hear a rumble.
She shook her head and tried to look stern even while her insides danced. “I’m not sure I’m familiar with it.”
“Interesting.”
“I guess you’ll have to teach me about that one.”
“And then we can figure out the important stuff.”
“Like?” As far as she was concerned, they’d already hit the biggies. He loved her. She loved him. That was good enough for her.
“How soon we can move you in here.”
She hadn’t thought she could be happier until right that second. “That’s a big step.”
“The first of many.”
“You have my attention.”
“Besides, I want to wake up with you every morning.”
She almost squealed with joy over that one, but she tried to be practical. “What will the voters think?”
“That I’m damn lucky.”
“Oh, you’re about to get lucky, all right.”
He chuckled in a rich, clear tone that vibrated with warmth. “We also have to plan our first public function together.”
Plans. He was building a life and putting her in it. No hiding or secret dates. “Nice.”
“Then there’s the decision about when you meet my parents for more than two seconds.”
She winced. “It all sounded good until…there.”
“They’ll love you.”
“They’ve seen me naked.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “So have I.”
“Do you really think it’s the same thing?”
Before she could get her nerves all riled up and panicky, he kissed her. Long and deep, sending a calming sensation running through her.
“They’ll love you because I do,” he said against her lips.
The perfect sentiment at the perfect time. That summed up Eric.
“Why don’t you take me upstairs and tell me over and over how much you love me?”
“From now to forever.”
Chapter 28
Eight months later
Eric fell back against the mattress and tried to quiet the heartbeat thundering in his ears. Once again, his wife had wiped him out. “Man, that just gets better each time.”
Katie wiggled her fingers in front of his face and let her arm drop across his chest. “It’s the wedding ring. Marriage and diamonds improve sex. It’s a proven fact.”
“What book is that from again?”
“Are you complaining?”
“Not even a little. But you know you could have had the ring long before you did if you hadn’t insisted on waiting until after the election to walk down the aisle.”
She rested her head against his shoulder. “One huge life change at a time, please. It was strange enough to get married just a few days after the election.”
“I was more excited about the wedding.”
“Which is one of the reasons I love you.” She placed a kiss on his damp chest. “But I wanted to get settled in school and for you win your big boy job first so you could concentrate on me.”
“I think I just did.”
“Men.”
When she pinched his side, he grabbed her hand and held on. “Stop that. And for the record, I didn’t see a reason to wait. I knew I wanted you with me always.”
“Says the man who insisted we get married eight months ago, after we’d known each other all of two weeks.”
“I seem to remember you weakening shortly after that.”
“Your poor mother. I can still see the look on her face when I suggested we run off to Vegas.”
“It was almost as good as the look on yours when she told you she forbade it.” He had to laugh. Watching the two women in his life circle each other and establish boundaries was a never-ending source of amusement for him. They respected each other, loved each other, and had no idea how to relate to each other. He couldn’t think of two people who were less alike.
“I was kidding, but her threats were serious,” Katie said.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll figure out a way to forgive you for the joke…eventually. The fact you let her plan the wedding and gave her six months to do it up big helped.”
Katie lifted up on her elbow and looked down at him with that sexy little smile that crushed out every bad day. “I think I have a way to make her downright delirious.”
“Do tell.”
“Since you guys are all so big on family responsibility.”
“Japanese people?”
“No, you big racist.” She kissed him, softening her tough words. “I meant the Kimura family.”
“Oh, that.” He propped his head up on his elbow to get a better look at her. Let his other hand wander down her back to the top of her thighs. “Go ahead.”
She sighed. “Are you even listening to me?”
“Kind of hard to when you’re not wearing panties.”
She opened her legs a bit more to give his fingers all the access they wanted. “That’s a gift for later.”
“When exactly does ‘later’ start?”
“I’m trying to tell you something.”
“Sorry.” But not sorry enough to remove his hand.
“In addition to winning an election and bagging yourself an awesome wife—”
“We need to work on your low self-esteem.”
“—we have something else to celebrate.”
“Seth dating your sister?”
Katie closed her eyes for a second in a look he now knew as mock disgust. “Ugh. Don’t remind me.”
“He’s a good guy.” Eric knew Katie loved him, too. They had a sibling-like relationship. Lots of teasing and more than a little screaming when Katie realized Seth had asked Cara out.
Despite that, Katie had agreed to Seth’s being the Best Man. The role had him walking down the aisle with Cara. From what Eric could tell, they looked pretty comfortable together, so Katie had better get used to it.
“He comes around and she turns into a clumsy mess,” Katie said.
Eric remembered feeling the same way around Katie in the beginning. All hands and big feet. No moves at all. “Sounds familiar.”
“You’d better not be talking about me.”
“I was referring to my other wife.”
“Oh, really. Where are you keeping her?” She poked him in the side and didn’t stop until he caught her hands and flipped her over on her back.
Looming over her like this, he could watch her pretty eyes go all dreamy while he touched her. “Point is Seth adores Ashleigh and he’s pretty hot on Cara. Last I checked, you wanted her to be happy.”
Katie slipped her arms around his neck as her thighs came up to trap him in his current position. “You know what will make her positively giddy?”
“The perfect lobster roll?”
“Being an aunt.”
“What?”
Katie took his hand and pressed it against her flat stomach. “We’re only six weeks along, so we should probably hold off on telling people, but I’m thinking Cara will be thrilled and your mom might s
top looking at me like I’m going to explode.”
The news came at him and kept whizzing by. He tried to get the words to fit into his brain. To understand the reason behind her huge smile.
“Wait…what?”
She kissed his chin. “Pregnant.”
“Are you sure?” He was almost afraid to believe it. His heart jolted at the thought. It was the last piece in a life so full and rich that he wondered every day what he’d done to deserve it.
“I threw up three times yesterday.”
He knew he should feel bad about her being sick, and part of him did, but what it represented—a baby—there was no way he could regret that. He was too busy fighting off flashes of a miniature Katie running around and stealing his heart.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” His hand shook as he touched her cheek.
She smiled up at him. “I just did.”
“Before now.”
“I was waiting to see if the stick turned pink.”
He wanted to know for sure. “We need to make an appointment—”
“And the doctor confirmed it this afternoon.” Her smile went all soft and sweet. “Why, counselor, I do believe I’ve stumped you.”
Emotions crashed in on him—hope, love, worries about whether he’d be a good dad. In two seconds, and with one word his whole life changed again. And he could trace it all, every good thing, back to Katie. “We just started trying.”
“We’ve gone without condoms for months now. Besides, I’m young and fertile.”
And so sexy that his mind turned to mush when she took her clothes off. “Apparently.”
“Plus you’re pretty lively in the bedroom for an old dude.” Because he looked like he got stuck on the wrong end of a shotgun blast, she tried again. “The election isn’t the only thing you won that night.”
His swaggering confidence came rushing back. Strong shoulders and an openess that lit up his face. “Oh, yeah. I remember now. A little champagne and we started talking kids.”
Took him long enough to come around. Though she had to admit the tough talk mixed nicely with the trembling she could feel in his hands. “I’m betting our success had something to do with me tying your wrists to the headboard with your ties. The loss of control got your sperm all riled up.”
He shook his head. “Pregnant. I still can’t believe it.”
She cupped his cheek in her palm. “Poor baby. You’re stunned.”
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