He responded with a wide grin. “Dorcas has asked that we make our way over to the clubhouse hut now. Apparently, the safety briefing is happening very soon.”
Almost breezily she answered, “Oh…right, yes. Give me a minute to change my jeans.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t bother.” He looked her up and down. “You look fine. You look the part, all…you know…rugged and…wilderness.” His cheeks coloured. Poor guy, he must be getting whiplash from my change in mood.
“Okay, well, I’ll just brush my hair. Two minutes.” She closed the door before he could drool over her further and rifled through her bag for her hairbrush. Releasing the clip, she allowed her long, auburn tresses to fall loosely in waves around her shoulders. She brushed out the knots, dropped the brush onto the bed, and checked her appearance in the full-length wall mirror before making her way out to join David.
He looked a little put out, standing there with his arms folded over his chest. “Come on…the kids have already gone over.” She rolled her eyes and followed.
They walked to the largest of the log cabins where the kids were filing in remarkably quietly again. It seemed as if she had wandered into the Twilight Zone. She and David followed behind and waited until all the teens were seated before she glanced to the front where a now showered and changed Jason stood.
His hair was damp and was no longer tied back at the top. It hung loosely around his face, and it was now evident why he’d needed to scrape it back earlier. His stubble remained and he was wearing clean jeans and a fitted T-Shirt with the Wild Front Here logo on his left pec. It clung to the muscles she had felt, and seen, at first hand earlier today. Her heart skipped, and inwardly she cursed herself as her body reacted against her will once again.
She had to admit that he looked every bit as stunning as she remembered, although more rugged, mature, and masculine. Definitely broader. He glanced up and caught her looking at him. She froze. Should she look away? Should she smile? Should she make a face? All too soon, his smouldering gaze was torn away as Dorcas placed her hand on his arm and leaned in to whisper something. He smiled widely at her, placing his hand on her shoulder as he nodded.
Bitch.
The word popped unwelcomed into her mind. Whoa, Stevie, what was that? She shook her head to eradicate the thought. She had no right, nor any desire for that matter, to be possessive over the man. Well, at least her right mind hadn’t. Her subconscious appeared to think differently.
Great.
Once the chatter had died down, Jason glanced around the room. “Good evening, everyone. My name is Jason Reynolds, and I’m the owner of Wild Front Here. I just want to run through a few rules and introduce you to the rest of the staff. That way you all stay safe and your teachers stay almost sane.” A rumble of laughter traversed the room. He continued on, informing the kids of the no go areas on camp, where the fire assembly points and first aid rooms were, and what to do in the event of any emergency.
“Remember guys, we never ask you to do anything we don’t think you’re all capable of. You have to believe in yourselves like we all believe in you. Some of the things we’ll do will be scary and some of them will be physically tough. But know that we—my staff, myself, and your teachers—have the utmost faith in your abilities. Not many kids get this opportunity so please make the most of being here. Take the opportunity to conquer your fears. Face them with your head held high. And don’t forget, we’re all here to support you. So all that remains to be said now is that you should be very grateful to your teachers for taking time out of their busy lives to be here with you. Make sure you say thank you. Have fun. Don’t do anything stupid and above all, be safe.”
Jason’s deep voice resonated throughout the room, and she found herself staring at his mouth. She had always loved his mouth. He had such plump, kissable lips, and she had often wondered what it would feel like to have his mouth trailing kisses down her naked body. But things had just never got that far between them. He left on the very day she was hoping they would take that next step together.
His words were touching, and her throat tightened at hearing his passion and belief in the group of disaffected kids that she was accompanying. She was impressed with his air of authority and secretly very proud of the man he was, standing in front of the group, rousing them up and instilling his confidence in them. It was just a shame that he was such an arrogant arse outside of the situation.
She was snatched from her reverie when the room of teens erupted into applause. Her head snapped up, and she found herself peering straight into the dark eyes of her former boyfriend and first love, whose gaze was also fixed on her. The heat rose in her cheeks as she nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
Dorcas with the sweet Scottish accent and over-excited, breezy manner addressed the crowd, “Okay, gang! The barbecue should be just about ready, so if you’d like to make your way out of the main door and down to the left, you’ll see where the tables are set up.” Her blonde hair bounced as she spoke enthusiastically. She reminded Stevie of an eager-to-please puppy dog. The teens began to file out of the room with David heading up the line. Several of the boys stared dreamily at Dorcas, taking the journey slowly in order to try and walk along with her. She hung back to ensure that everyone knew where they were going, and Dorcas smiled at her as she passed.
Suddenly, a masculine scent penetrated her nostrils and heat seeped into her skin. “I think we need to talk.” Jason leaned in so close that his breath caressed her ear as he spoke just above a whisper.
She shuddered.
Damn him.
Spinning around to face him, her anger rose once again. “I have nothing to say to you.” She stormed out of the room letting the door slam shut behind her.
Chapter Three
The door to the large cabin creaked open behind her as she walked away. She didn’t turn around but she heard him jogging toward her, and so she picked up her pace. He grabbed her elbow and spun her around to face him.
He growled. “You can’t avoid me forever.”
The smile she plastered on her face was by no means friendly. “Oh yes, I can. I’m taking my cue from the master of avoidance tactics,” she spat.
His face took on that pained expression again. “You don’t think that maybe I have things to say? To explain?” His sexy, Scottish-tinged accent intrigued her, almost sucking her under his spell yet again.
Setting her jaw, she looked directly into his eyes, hoping to portray inner strength even though she felt anything but strong. “I’m afraid it’s a little late for that, Jason. Ten years ago would’ve been the appropriate time for you to explain. There is nothing…let me repeat that…nothing that you could say to me that would make what you did acceptable or forgiveable.”
Jason’s nostrils flared. “I beg to differ. Look, I had my reasons for leaving, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay. Like I’ve already said, it’s too late to explain them now.” Her heart was pounding against her ribs again, and her eyes stung with unshed tears. “Do you have any idea how scared I was? Do you know how many hours I cried? How many days? Do you know how long I waited for one word from you so that I knew you were safe?” Jason let go of her arm. His gaze dropped to the floor and she could see his jaw working under his skin. “No, I thought not. You never thought about anyone but yourself. For all I knew you were dead.” Tears escaped her eyes and cascaded down her face and she pointed her finger into his hard chest. “You broke me Jason. I can’t love anyone. I can’t trust anyone. So yes, that’s what you did…you broke me.” A sob escaped her throat and she turned to walk away.
Much to her relief he didn’t follow this time, and so she made a detour to the toilet block, where she dabbed at her eyes and splashed her face with cold water. Glancing up into the mirror, her reflection was startling. Her face was pale but her eyes were red. Great, now everyone will know I’ve been bloody crying. She splashed more cold water on her face and took a deep steadying breath. She knew that she had a million and one questio
ns buzzing around her head, but here was not the place and now was not the time to address them.
Perhaps there never would be a good time.
****
I was broken too, Stevie.
Without speaking, Jason watched her walk away. This was not going well. The fact that she’d turned up here out of the blue was shocking enough, but the fact that she looked just as beautiful as he remembered, no forget that…even more beautiful, was just damned painful. Although, it wouldn’t matter what she looked like. She was beautiful in every single way. He knew what they’d had was special and intense, but he’d hoped to forget her. How the hell could he do that now she was here? He gritted his teeth. Who the fuck am I trying to kid? I’ve never forgotten her. How the hell could I do that? I was in love with her.
The way she used to look at him returned in flashbacks when he closed his eyes, like images being played on a screen. Her big blue eyes would gaze into his, filled with love. Her hair would flutter across her face in the breeze, and she’d tuck it behind her ear with a warm smile that made his heart skip. Why the fuck was she here? How the hell had she found him? Had she found him or had this whole thing been some unhappy coincidence?
He had to know.
After walking quickly over to his office, he rifled through the pile of papers on his desk. When he eventually came across the booking forms for Wilmersden High School, he scanned the section for chaperones, and the names of the teaching staff didn’t include Stevie’s. Mollie Sumner and David Harris. Not Stevie Watts. Shit…is she even still called Stevie Watts? Maybe she’s married now. That was an unwelcomed thought.
Guilt washed over him. She’d genuinely had no clue. When he’d confronted her about looking for him, she had told him the truth. His accusations had made her out to be some lying stalker.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. She didn’t deserve the arrogant reception at all, the poor woman. He had no one to blame but himself for her low opinion of him. How the hell could he make amends for speaking to her like that? For handling her so roughly. If he had witnessed a woman being treated in such a way he’d have kicked the culprits arse from here to next year.
He blew out a long breath and resolved to try and make up for his transgressions in some way. If he could just get her to agree to listen to him, he could explain his disappearance. She had a warm heart. Surely when she knew the truth, she’d understand, wouldn’t she? Armed with the knowledge that this was all as big a shock to her as it was to him, he made his way over to the barbecue.
There was no sign of her.
Shit. He glanced around, panicking. Maybe she’d somehow gone home. But how could she? She’s here for the kids. Good, that means she’s a captive audience…of sorts. He needed to talk to her. There were so many things she had to know. She had to know that he couldn’t have stayed in London, but that it wasn’t because of her. But he couldn’t lose focus. He couldn’t fall for her.
Not again.
****
When Stevie arrived at the barbecue area, everyone seemed to be chatting merrily whilst they ate their burgers and enjoyed the warm summer’s evening.
David made a beeline for her. “Hey, hi. Oh no…tree pollen?” He cringed sympathetically.
She was puzzled by his bizarre remark and pulled her brow into a frown. “Sorry?”
He gestured to her eyes. “Tree pollen getting to you? Your eyes are all red. It’s a common thing to suffer with in these parts.”
Realising what he meant, she nodded. “Oh…yes…tree pollen. Forgot my medication,” she lied.
“You should ask Jason. He’s probably got a stock of antihistamine. Or he can point you in the direction of the pharmacy. Or the doctor maybe.” He just went on and on…
“Yes…yes…I’ll ask later. I’m fine at the moment,” she answered dismissively.
David nodded, but his face told her he wasn’t buying it. “Um…okay. Shall I get you a burger?”
“No thanks, David. If I want one I’ll get one,” she snapped. God he’s relentless! “I’m not that hungry. I brought some snacks, so I can eat later if I feel like it.”
He smiled and nodded again. “Okay…well I’ll go and do the rounds…make sure everyone’s all right and that the boys aren’t bothering Dorcas too much.” He hesitated but then walked away, leaving her to stand alone.
“Come and sit with us, Mrs. Norton. There’s a space,” Jess, one of the pupils, called over.
“Mrs.?” came a husky voice from over her shoulder, making her jump. “So you got married, then?”
She turned to face Jason as he stood close behind her. There was something in his eyes that told her he was disappointed about his discovery. “You need to stop sneaking up on me.”
“Miiiss?” Jess called again in a whiny voice.
“Thanks Jess, but I’m okay standing. I can keep a better watch over you all this way.” She smiled. Jess rolled her eyes and turned back to her friends, who were all making eyes at Jason. He was oblivious to the hormonal teenagers.
“Come to my cabin after lights out. We can talk.” He insisted in an almost whisper.
“I’ve already told you I have nothing to say to you.”
He smirked. “Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”
She gave an exasperated sigh. “Please, Jason. Just leave me alone. It’s bad enough that I can’t leave, so please can we just stay out of each other’s way?”
“No, we can’t. Look, just give me an hour of your time. That’s all I ask. I just want to explain. After that, if you choose to ignore me then…well…there’s nothing I can do about that, but I’m sure I’ll survive.”
Why did he have to sound so concerned in one breath, and then jab her heart in the next? “Sorry, it’s not going to happen, okay?” She plastered a smile on her face to keep up appearances. The last thing she needed was to raise the suspicions of the pupils that there was more to her relationship with their host.
His mouth formed a hard line, and he breathed out noisily through his nose. “My cabin is adjacent to the place we had our little…brief encounter when you arrived earlier. If you walk along a little further than the gap in the trees, you’ll find a walkway. I usually stay up late. If you decide to come, that’s where you’ll find me. If not…well…maybe another time, eh? But know this…what I did was for a very good reason. It wasn’t a decision I made lightly. I loved you.” And with that he walked away over to where the camp’s chef was preparing the food and slapped the man on the back in a friendly manner. He glanced at her one last time, boring into her, pleading with her with his pained, dark eyes. A shiver traversed her spine, and she broke eye contact.
****
Later that evening, back in his cabin again, Jason changed in to his tatty, old, long board shorts but didn’t bother with a shirt. There didn’t seem to be any point. After all, it was a warm night, and whilst he’d hoped that Stevie would turn up, he wasn’t holding his breath. She seemed determined to avoid the issues that he knew needed addressing. She had him pegged as some cruel, selfish bastard. It just wasn’t true. Okay, so it appeared to be true and that didn’t help matters. But once she knew the truth…
Why did she have to turn up and spoil things? He was doing just fucking fine without her. Well, he’d managed for ten years to not think about her beautiful face. Not every day anyway. And those eyes. So blue you could just fall right in and drown. Not that he wanted to of course. He wanted to explain why he left. He owed her that much. Then he wanted her to go back down to the hell that was London and fucking stay there. Let him get back to life as it should be. As it had been up until today.
He couldn’t allow himself to get close to her again. That would be a huge mistake. He had made a life for himself here, and he didn’t want that to change in any way. Maybe the arrogance thing was a good idea after all. At least she seemed to be put off by his attitude. And that was a good thing, right? Okay, so she liked how he’d filled out. That much was obvious from her expression
and the way her pupils dilated when they made eye contact.
He couldn’t deny that she looked incredible. Those curves, dammit. She was almost straight up and down when he saw her last, but now… He wondered what her skin would feel like under his fingertips. Would she be all soft and yielding? He’d noted the way her breasts were fuller and wondered what they would feel like in his hands. God he’d love to find out. Her hips were wider too—her smaller waist had been accentuated by that fact. And her sexy rounded arse. God he’d love to squeeze it whilst she straddled him. Her hair was still as beautiful as ever, and he longed to nuzzle and smell it. She was definitely all woman.
Gone was the awkward eighteen-year-old he’d left behind. His manhood awakened and twitched at his train of thought. But lust and love were two completely different things and as long as it stayed that way everything would be fine. This was going to be a temporary situation. She would be gone in a week.
Thank fuck.
He paced up and down again, becoming more and more agitated. Checking the clock for the hundredth time, he realised it was eleven thirty.
She wasn’t coming.
Surely, she wouldn’t come to see him now? He checked out of the window but there was no sign of her. Fuck it! She would have to listen to him. This week would be his only chance to explain. Now that the past had come back to haunt him in female form, the only other option would be going back down there to talk to her when she had left. And that wasn’t happening. There was no way he would be setting foot in that hellhole. No, he would just have to force the issue whilst she was here. Make her listen.
He switched on his iPod in its docking station and paced up and down a little. The soothing voice of Soundgarden’s Chris Cornell sang “Black Hole Sun”.
Why am I so fucking restless? The last time he remembered feeling like this was out in the war zone before going out on patrol. It was his fight or flight mentality kicking in, and this was definitely one time he wanted to fight. Not literally of course. But he wanted the chance to explain everything. Although it would depend on whether or not she gave him a chance to do that, and her lack of presence at his cabin wasn’t helping the situation. The hairs on the back of his neck stood to attention and he walked over to the kitchen window to look out one last time.
Reasons to Leave (Reasons #1) Page 4