by Demi Donovan
Cameron stares at me, dumbfounded. He empties another glass and our third bottle is almost out. With a shaky hand, he tops me off and then pours himself another, then waving the empty bottle at Joe so he’d bring us a refill.
“But it’s so far away… You’d do that for me?”
“She can live with me. I can pick her up tomorrow, drive her back with me to Boston with me. You just need to talk to Jenna.”
Sober me would not be offering this. Sober me would not bring the daughter of the man my business partner can barely stand to name into our company as a favor. Sober me would not offer to put up a barely legal young woman in my house when I haven’t so much as dated in a year.
But drunk me has a bleeding heart and a hope that everything will work out, that maybe I can pay back my dues. When Cameron practically takes the table with him when he lunges to hug me again, drunk me feels pretty smug about himself.
Four
Cassie
My suitcase was packed by the time I rolled out of bed at 11:00 a.m. and I had no idea why. Not only had my mother appeared in my room and neatly stacked the essentials in the suitcase without waking me up in the process, she’d also made me breakfast and pushed ahead her first shift at the grocery store so she could see me off.
As I sit at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee and ignoring a plate of toast and eggs, I can’t wrap my brain around it. There was barely an explanation as to what was going on and though my mother didn’t ignore my questions, she didn’t tell me much.
“Eat up, it’s a long drive.”
“To Boston,” I echo, regurgitating the information that had filled me up past the point where the food could do me any good.
“Yes,” she nods, sipping at her coffee.
She looks uncomfortable but tense, standing rigidly at the kitchen island. Her lips have been pressed into a thin line for the majority of the morning and I haven’t gotten her to crack. I’m losing faith that I will.
“Why?” I ask, and it’s at least the twelfth time.
“I told you. Your father has friends willing to give you a shot. You’re not going to do anything here, not with that boy around, not with… well, there’s nothing holding you here anymore, is there? No college, your high school said they don’t need you to come in… I think it’s for the best.”
Her voice wavers a little.
“You think it’s for the best,” I repeat, reeling.
There’s plenty that I want to say, but looking at my mom, I don’t. She’s the last person I thought would give up on me, but I might deserve it. My gut twists, thinking that I won’t even be able to say goodbye to Mark.
I’m an adult, I know I don’t have to do anything my parents tell me anymore. At the same time, I’ve burned enough bridges here to realize that my mother is right – there’s nothing for me here. All I do is leech off of what little she manages to bring in, just like my dad often does. I don’t want to be that person.
I nod to myself and pick up one of the slices of toast and nibble on it. It tastes like cardboard and I think it has nothing to do with the meal itself.
When the doorbell rings, we both jump a little. Mom’s the first to react, putting her coffee cup down and heading for the door.
“I’ll get it. Finish up.”
I gulp down my coffee and leave the toast on the plate as I stand up. There’s so much I feel like I haven’t done, but it’s too late now. Does Callista even know I’m leaving? No, she would have woken me up. I guess that’s why it’s happening in the middle of the day, so no one could throw a fit.
My suitcase is waiting for me in the hallway and I sneak out of the kitchen toward the sound of voices. As I peer out from behind the corner of the stairs leading up, I see my mom hugging a man who makes my heart beat even faster than it was before.
He’s tall and broad and looks like the kind of guy who’s grown up giving people orders. His eyes, blue, are sleepy and I can see the crinkling of laugh lines around them. He looks like he’d be devastating when he smiles, but even looking somber as he does now, he makes me gasp for air in the best kind of way.
His hair is light, a dirty blond, just long enough that I’d like to run my fingers through it. The navy suit he is wearing fits him impeccably, straining a little around his biceps as he releases my mother from his embrace. They definitely look like they know each other and I’ve rarely seen my mother look as sheepish as she does now, inviting him into our house.
I lean back so they can’t see me as they head into the living room, only catching snippets of their conversation. He seems so at home in his own body, like a man in control of both himself and everything around him. It’s intoxicating. He’s the kind of man I’d stop and stare after regardless of his looks just because of how he carries himself. A quiet, reserved kind of power oozes off of him and I want to be close to it.
Without thinking, I creep across the hall and step into the living room, finding my mother sitting on the couch and my nameless crush standing in the middle of the room. This can’t possibly be the man my father knows – they look like they’re from two different worlds.
“Cassie, I didn’t hear you come in,” my mom says lightly, glancing between me and him. “Parker, I want you to meet my daughter, Cassandra. Cassie, this is Parker Carlson. He’s the man I told you about.”
Parker gives me a look and I feel exposed before him, and incredibly silly. I’m in black leggings and a band shirt that’s far too big for me, slouching off my shoulder and revealing a bra strap. I have no make-up on and the pink socks I pulled on, probably not even mine but Callista’s, make me feel like a silly little girl.
His gaze flicks over me and for a moment, I think there’s something there. It lingers on my face and I find myself holding my breath as we share that second. When he comes up to me and takes my hand in his to shake it, a shiver runs down my spine, all pure electricity.
“Nice to meet you, Cassie. Your father has told me so much about you,” he says, his voice velvet and honey and everything I want to get lost in.
My knees seriously consider buckling and I don’t blame them.
“Hi,” I say awkwardly, resenting that he lets go of my hand so soon.
He gives me a narrow smile and I feel even more awkward, my heart beating out of my chest.
“I know this is short notice, Jenna. But you know how things are,” he starts, my mother nodding. “I’m not in town for a while and Cameron figured it might be best if I take Cassie with me today. That is, if that’s fine with you, Cassie.”
I exhale sharply, nodding my head before my brain manages to catch up with me. I was supposed to say it’s not okay. I was supposed to rant and rave and maybe even yell a little, or at least that was my original plan. Now, being whisked away to a new future by this man seems like an adventure instead of a punishment.
“It’s okay. Thank you,” I murmur.
His smile becomes a little warmer, reaching his eyes. I was right, he is devastating when he smiles.
“We’d better get going then. It’s a long drive to Boston,” he says, more to my mom than to me. “Was that her suitcase that I spied?”
“Yes, that’s hers,” mom confirms, sending Parker off to retrieve it.
He smells like oak as he passes me by.
My mom pulls me into a hug and that façade of strictness falls away.
“I’ll miss you, cricket,” she tells me, using the nickname I haven’t heard in years.
“I’ll miss you too, mom. I promise I’ll be good.”
I almost expect her to laugh, but of course she doesn’t. In a world where there are only good girls and bad girls, I’ve been trying my best to be a bad girl for years now. The sudden 180 has to at least raise a couple of eyebrows.
“I’ll call you,” she promises as she walks me out after Parker.
There’s a flashy Mercedes-Benz E-class parked in the driveway in front of our house. A couple of neighbors have come outside to look at it, keeping a respectful dista
nce. You don’t see a lot of cars like that in Prestview. The moment Parker comes into view with my suitcase, their attention automatically snaps over to him, and for good reason.
He could stop traffic with that presence of his.
“Tell Callista that I didn’t mean to go like this, please,” I whisper to mom as we hug one last time.
Parker’s holding the passenger door open for me and I slip in, almost stumbling as I clamber in because of suddenly becoming very aware of how close I am to him that way. I buckle in and Parker gets inside too after a couple short sentences with my mom. The last thing I hear him tell her is that he’ll take good care of me and despite every rational bone in my body telling me that it just means he’ll look after me, I can’t help but read something dirtier out of it.
Whereas Mark always filled me with a sense of inevitability when it came to physical closeness, Parker makes me long for it, and it’s entirely wrong. He’s twice my age or more, and a friend of my parents. I’m nothing but a favor to him and that’s how it should be.
The engine roars to life. I wave goodbye to my mom and my house, this godly man taking me away from everything I’ve held dear all my life. The only thing I know about him is his name.
I play with the hem of my shirt as we breeze through Prestview. It doesn’t take long until we hit the interstate heading out of state. When the last sign calling for an exit to Prestview whizzes past us, my shoulders slump a little and I glance at Parker, trying to find words. Any words.
“You must have questions,” he tells me suddenly, not even sparing me a glance.
“About what?” I ask.
“Everything. Me, what’s going on, what your dad and I talked about.”
So not only is he handsome as all hell, he’s a mind reader too now. Great.
“It’s just… it’s all sort of sudden,” I say, shrugging my shoulders.
What else am I supposed to say? Thank you for giving me an opportunity to reboot my life, but I’d be perfectly find if you just took my virginity and then sent me off on my way if you don’t want to keep me? I’m trouble, so you probably don’t want me around, but I’d love to see you naked?
Yeah, I don’t think any of those would be entirely appropriate at the moment.
“It is,” Parker confirms. He reaches his hand out and I stare transfixed as it rolls around my palm gently, squeezing it. “Trust me, Cassie, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Your dad and I go a long way back and I know how important you are to him. I’ll do anything I can to give you the kind of future you deserve, all right?”
He looks at me, giving me a confident smile. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I feel like someone has me. Like a warm cocoon of safety is slowly wrapping around me. Like everything I’ve wanted from my dad all my life is being offered up to me on a silver platter now.
The only problem is, I don’t think I deserve it.
But it doesn’t mean I don’t want it.
“Okay. I trust you,” I promise.
And I do. And that’s scary as fuck.
Five
Parker
More than six hours later, I can still feel a tingle in my palm from having held Cassie’s hand. I’d worry that I’ve fucked something up with the long drive, and I’m definitely woozy from it as we pull up in front of my driveway, but I know it’s not just some physical reaction right now.
This girl is doing something to me and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. There are plenty of reasons why it’s a horrible idea to bring her into my house and separate her from her support system the way I have, but the worst reason yet is one that I hadn’t even considered before I saw her.
That I might not want to let her go now that I have her.
“We’re here,” I say, unbuckling and turning to face my predicament.
Cassie’s fast asleep, her hair falling on her face and her cute little nose twitching a little. I should wake her up, but she was coiled like a spring for most of the drive and to see her this relaxed, I just can’t do it.
Instead, I quietly get out of the car and get her small suitcase from the back of it. The automatic garage door is already open and the lights are on in my big home in the suburbs, gated and kept out of the public eye. My castle, now to have its very own princess.
I put her suitcase down in the garage and open the passenger door as the garage door starts to close. She doesn’t rouse as I unbuckle her and when I scoop her into my arms, she nuzzles closer to me. I just about fucking melt.
Her head is propped on my shoulder and her sweet pink lips are parted just a little, one hand grasping the lapel of my jacket. My cock twitches uncomfortably and I curse myself under my breath for having gotten myself into this. I have no time to want anyone and even if I did, the daughter of my former business partner, entrusted into my care, is definitely not the woman to want.
Which doesn’t make the urge to wake her with a kiss go away any easier.
“Welcome home, baby,” I whisper as I shoulder my way into the front foyer and carry her through the house.
She’s so small in my arms and despite the hard exterior she tries to put on to the world, I can see right through it, now more than before. You can’t hide who you are when you sleep, you’re exposed to the world. These edges she’s created for herself aren’t who she is and I’m dying to find out exactly what she’s trying to hide from prying eyes.
My steps take me directly toward my bedroom, but I change course as I realize what I’m doing. I definitely can’t put her in my bed. Instead, I go for the guest room that’s closest to my bedroom, the one that shares a bathroom with the master suite. I tuck her into bed there though I’m loathe to let her go, wishing I could just curl up next to her.
I snap myself out of it when I catch myself staring at her curled up, sleeping form for too long. This isn’t okay.
“What the fuck are you doing, Parker?” I whisper to myself, carefully closing the door and then retrieving her suitcase.
I leave it behind the guest room door and text her mom and Cameron that we’ve arrived safe. The flurry of ‘thank yous’ I get as a response make me feel even shittier. Resolving to put this moment of weakness behind myself, I head to the bathroom and peel off my suit as I turn on the hot water in the shower.
After more than a six-hour drive in a car with the most gorgeous young woman I’ve lain my eyes on, I feel like a fucking dirty old man begging to scrub it all off of me. I was driving half-hard the whole fucking way.
The water hits my skin, scalding, and I take it as a mild form of repentance. I shampoo my hair and then violently attack my body, washing the day off me. My mind wanders too easily and between the questions of what the fuck am I going to tell Sawyer when I take Cassie into work with me on Monday, and what the fuck was I thinking to begin with, I inevitably think about her, and only her again.
Despite my best effort, the half-mast I’ve been sporting since getting in the car seems to know that I’m alone now and that I can be as perverse as I want to be. When my hand cups my balls in an effort to lather them up, I inadvertently find my hand running up my thick, hard shaft as well.
Not that this is a fucking accident. It isn’t. I know exactly what’s going on. Having thrown myself into work for the better part of the last twenty years, I’ve never really made time for anything but an occasional fuck. Recently, even those have fallen away because my old ‘connections’ became a little too familiar. I don’t want to lead anyone on.
That includes myself.
Work’s my mistress, even though she doesn’t suck me off the way I’d like her to. It’s a choice I’ve made and one I’ve been happy to live with so far, but seeing Jenna and Cassie, I can’t help but wonder if I may have missed out. I could have had a family when I was younger. I could have made time. Cameron never realized what he had but I guess in a way, I’m no better.
After all, I’m a man living alone just as he is.
I snap my hand away from my cock, disgusted w
ith myself. This girl my brain and dick seem to be conspiring to obsess about is the daughter of one of my former best friends. I can’t do anything with her and I sure as hell shouldn’t be thinking that I can in any way.
I rinse off and get out of the shower, reaching for an Egyptian cotton towel, pristinely and boringly white, to dry myself off. My hard-on shows no signs of letting me forget its existence and as I consider my reflection in the wide mirror, I take a breath.
What’s one time?
Just a moment of release. Just for now. So I can get my mind back, so I can figure out all the shit I’ve gotten myself and Cassie into.
No one will know.
The towel drops from my hand and visions of Cassie spin in my brain. Her plush lips, her gorgeous, young body. The way she looked at me with those gray eyes, stormy and alive, like I could give her something she never had. My hand grips the base of my shaft and I groan as I let my palm glide over the still-wet skin.
In my head, it’s her that’s doing it. On her knees, her pretty eyes wide, a smile on her lips. She opens her mouth to me and her tongue slips out, lapping up precum and making a face as she gets a taste of the saltiness for the very first time. I don’t know if she’s a virgin, but in my head she is. In my head she’s all innocence, trying to hide under a hard façade, waiting to be shown that she doesn’t have to fight for herself.
My muscles tense as my cock practically hums in my fucking hand as I start jerking myself off, my thumb flicking over the thick head every now and then and sending a shudder through me. I imagine it’s her tongue, working me, tasting me, pleasuring me, and it comes so easily. My grip tightens as she takes me in her mouth and I grunt out senseless expletives as I think of her gagging on my size, struggling to fit but oh so eager to try.
My pace quickens and I pay no heed to the draft of cold air that hits my back for a moment, so lost in my impromptu descent into depravity.