by M. Ullrich
“Old.”
“I loved Zelda when I was younger.” Emma sat on the bed and scooched closer to Caroline, pressing into her side. “Mind if I watch you play for a bit?”
“No,” Caroline said hesitantly. “But I’m kind of tired, and I don’t want to fall asleep in your bed.”
Emma looked at Caroline’s profile. The light from the screen caused a shadow to cast across her eyes. “Stay,” she said so simply. “We’re both big girls. I’ve shared a bed many times. And before you say it, I’ve shared with people I wasn’t having sex with.”
Caroline looked ashamed for a split second before biting her lip and shaking her head. “The cot isn’t very comfortable…”
“And this bed is huge.” Emma never looked away as Caroline silently considered the offer.
Caroline fell back against the pillows. “I’m up against Gleeok.” She looked at Emma. “The three-headed dragon. I hate him.”
Emma stretched out beside Caroline and smiled at her. “I remember that one sucking.”
Caroline’s only response was a low hum. She was clearly engrossed in her game once more.
Emma fell asleep in less than twenty minutes and was startled awake only once when Caroline cursed at the game loudly.
Chapter Thirteen
Emma sat quietly in a small plastic chair along the perimeter of the recreation room. She didn’t have a lei around her neck and neither did Caroline. She hated losing, and this game Maria proposed was stupid.
“Stop frowning,” Caroline whispered.
Emma pouted instead. She turned the small bell in her hand around and said, “I’m losing. I hate losing. I’m a loser.”
“You’re not a loser, but you are dramatic. She’s only asked five questions.”
“I’m looking for the couple who had the shortest honeymoon,” Maria said from the center of the circle.
Justin rang his bell right away. “It was supposed to be a weekend, but we were in Vegas for one day before I got a call to return to active duty.” He shrugged. “The army doesn’t vacation.”
Emma glared at Maria as she placed another lei around his neck. Respect for his profession? Yes. Disdain for beating her? Yes.
“What about the individual who has the most photos from this trip?”
Emma held her bell up high and rang it loudly. “That’s definitely me.” She grabbed her phone from her small bag and marched up to Maria confidently. “I have an album with over three hundred pictures.” She started flipping through the photos, but Maria didn’t seem impressed, much to Emma’s dismay.
“I didn’t see many of you two.”
“Oh, yeah,” Emma said slowly, hoping for an extra second to come up with a good, believable defense. “We’re not big on pictures.”
Maria looked at her with an odd expression between worry and disbelief. “Okay. Does anyone have more than three hundred pictures of their trip so far?” She looked around and everyone remained quiet. “Here you go.” She placed a lei around Emma’s neck.
Emma pumped her fist before settling down in her chair again. She shot a smug look at Caroline. “I’m catching up.” She stretched her arm along the back of Caroline’s chair.
“Yes, you are,” Caroline said. She patted Emma’s knee. “Do you think they found the picture thing suspicious?”
“I think Maria thinks it’s weird, but I wouldn’t say she’s suspicious.”
“I just don’t think this is the best game for us.”
“Because it’s biased toward married people,” Emma said in a grumble.
“No. Because we don’t have any history together, and we can’t keep making stuff up.” Caroline grew quiet while Cameron told the story of her proposal. “It’s one thing to play along to fit in, but it’s another to keep lying. Especially to such sweet people.”
Emma knew Caroline was talking about Ted and Ramona specifically, but she did agree the lies came harder the more she got to know these people.
“You’re right,” Emma said, before becoming thoroughly distracted by how many leis everyone had.
Maria loudly shuffled her small stack of notecards. “Who can tell the best makeup story?”
Before she realized what she was doing, Emma rang her bell. She could feel Caroline’s wide-eyed stare. She swallowed hard and smiled.
Maria looked at her expectantly. “Well?”
“Right, um.” Emma looked to Caroline for help, but all she received was a pained look and slight head shake. “When Caroline and I first got together, we were strictly casual. She had gotten out of a serious relationship and I wasn’t looking for love, but these things have a way of sneaking up on you.” Emma paused when Caroline snorted beside her. So much for fewer lies. She took Caroline’s hand and entwined their fingers. She smiled at the softness of Caroline’s skin before pulling her hand to rest on her lap. “But we got serious pretty quickly and that kind of freaked Caroline out.”
Maria interrupted. “This is supposed to be a makeup story, not a breakup story.”
“You cannot have a makeup without a breakup, Maria,” Emma said, winking at her. “Caroline dumped me. We were apart for two weeks before she pulled out all the stops to win me back.” Emma took a breath and noticed more than one person lean in with interest. Emma felt Caroline squeeze her hand and a sudden swell of courage and creativity hit her.
“She knows I listen to the same radio station all day when I’m home because I like a constant shuffle of songs. Caroline called the station and requested our song, ‘I’ll Be There for You’ by Bon Jovi. She even added a dedication message saying, ‘If you’ll have me, I’ll always be there for you.’” Caroline started to tug her hand away, but Emma wouldn’t let go.
“And she must’ve sat in her car waiting for her request to be played because a minute in to the song, I heard a knock on my door. She was standing in the rain—yes, it was raining—sopping wet and crying. I knew right then my heart had no choice but to love her.” Emma brought Caroline’s hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles lightly. “She was holding a cherry pie from my favorite local bakery and told me she couldn’t live without me.”
Giovanna, who rarely spoke up during group, sat with her hand over her heart and gasped. “It’s like something out of a romance novel.”
“I know, right? How could I not take her back after that?” Emma beamed at Caroline, proud of her story and shocked to see tears shimmering in Caroline’s dark eyes. She leaned in to whisper in Caroline’s ear, but Caroline turned and kissed her gently on her lips. The kiss was over as quickly as it happened, but Emma stayed close enough to remain in Caroline’s warmth.
“If there are no objections, I’d say we have a winner,” Maria said as she approached the couple.
“Hell, give her all the leis,” Ramona said loudly.
Emma laughed and continued to watch Caroline closely. Her face was passive and cheeks rosy, and she refused to meet Emma’s eyes. Emma brought her lips to Caroline’s ear and whispered, “Are you okay?”
Emma thought she saw Caroline nod, but she couldn’t tell from the number of leis Maria hung around her neck. The entire room applauded Caroline’s romantic gesture.
When they walked out of the room thirty minutes later, Emma was happy to see Caroline with the most leis. A win for her team member was still a win for her. Once they all spread out and couples went their own way, Caroline and Emma stood awkwardly together in the lobby.
“Are you hungry?” Caroline blurted abruptly.
“Is the sky blue?” Emma turned to the large front windows, her shoulders slumping at the gray, gloomy day. “In general, I mean.”
Some of Caroline’s tension seemed to melt. “We should get lunch and really figure out this relationship. I think it’s spinning out of control.” Caroline started walking toward the casual restaurant and she would not slow down.
Emma caught up with her at the hostess stand. “Out of control how? Because you kissed me?”
Caroline looked at her with wide, h
orrified eyes. “No. Because you keep lying and adding layers to this already ridiculous arrangement.” She turned back to the host who stood silently in place. “Two, please, and I’d like a booth if you have one.”
Emma waited until they were seated. “This is about the story I told?”
“It’s about every story, Emma. It’s about being frauds.” Caroline looked around and lowered her voice. “I’m starting to feel guilty. We’re not here just to see a resort anymore. We’ve made friends, and people have opened up to us and in front of us. Don’t you feel bad?”
Emma thought back to her boat ride with Ted and Ramona. They had seemed so invested in her relationship. “Yeah, I do.”
“We need to figure out how to make this better.”
“You mean more truthful?”
“Yes. The lies are too much for me. It’s bad enough to pretend we’re romantically involved when that couldn’t be any further from the truth.”
Caroline’s words stung Emma more than she cared to admit. “Right, so let’s make our story as close to true as possible. Say we met at work and didn’t really get along at first. You could still be in public relations, and I work for a website. We don’t have to be any more specific than that.”
“And we’ve broken up for a short time once before.” Caroline looked at Emma over her menu.
“You have to admit, I told a good story.”
“Your story was ridiculous.” She stopped as the waiter approached, finishing once he was out of earshot. “But it was very sweet and the group ate it up.”
“You seemed a little choked up over it.” Emma needed to know more about Caroline’s reaction, but she didn’t think she’d offer it up willingly. “What was that about? Was it the Bon Jovi song?”
Caroline laughed. “No, although that’d never be our song. Just saying.” Caroline pointed in warning, and Emma raised her hands in surrender. “It was just so different from my personal experiences with breakups. Especially recently.” Caroline stirred one sweetener into her iced tea and stared at the liquid as it swirled around her glass.
“Tell me,” Emma said gently.
Caroline shook her head.
“Please.”
Caroline looked up at Emma with a sad, weak smile. “When Ann left me…” Caroline dropped her gaze once more and fiddled with her hands on the table. “She didn’t regret her decision. At all. There was no sadness when she broke up with me, and not a bit of regret for breaking my heart. And then she told everyone at work about the breakup.”
Emma’s brain put up a big stop sign. “Wait. You two worked together?”
“Yes, and I’ll never make that mistake again. I pride myself on keeping my personal life out of the workplace.”
“And from people trying to get to know you.” Emma couldn’t help herself.
Caroline made a dismissive gesture. “She told three of the office’s biggest gossips about the breakup, our lack of intimacy, and how she blamed my family for all of it. She told these people things I told her because I loved and trusted her.” Caroline’s voice was strained with latent anger. “By the end of the week, everyone knew. I quit my job and moved back to New Jersey.”
“Wow.” Emma wanted to ask so much but was terrified Caroline would retreat again. She hadn’t heard her speak about herself at length like this. Emma decided to give the control to Caroline. “May I ask you a question?” Caroline looked hesitant but nodded. “Did she cheat on you?”
Caroline let out an airy laugh. “You already know she did.”
“I assumed, that doesn’t mean I was right.”
“You were right. She cheated on me once when we were only together for a few months. I chalked it up to the relationship being new and not being on the same page. But then she did it again, and I found out about it a little after our fourth anniversary. It had been going on for a while, too.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was all so clichéd. I walked in on them rolling all over our king-sized bed. I had just bought a new sheet set and put them on that morning. They were navy blue with little white daisies.” Caroline stared off into the distance briefly before shaking her head. “Ann blamed me,” she said with a shrug, “and I couldn’t defend myself because she could be right.”
Emma sat in disbelief. “It’s never the one who was cheated on, and it’s not the mistress’s fault either. She made a choice to cheat on you, Caroline. That’s in no way your fault.”
“Maybe if I had been warmer…”
“No. If she wasn’t happy, she could have left. Cheating just makes her a shitty person.”
“I’m sorry I’m being such a downer.”
“You’re not,” Emma said. She wanted Caroline’s bravado to return, not retreat even farther. “Why did Ann blame your family?”
Caroline stilled.
“You don’t have to tell me.”
“You already know my parents weren’t the most loving, so what harm could sharing a little more do, really? They fought a lot and were never affectionate, not with us or each other. I learned that couples normally touched and kissed each other from movies and television. I was a very confused kid.”
“All I ever learned from TV as a kid was how much I liked looking at boobs.” Emma felt a small fraction of the tension between them lift. “And that high school looked much cooler than it actually is.”
“High school,” Caroline said with a bitter laugh. “Easily the worst four years of my life. I couldn’t wait to graduate and go to the first out-of-state college that would have me.”
“Connecticut?”
Caroline pointed to herself with her thumbs. “UConn alum.”
Emma sat back with a gentle smile. “Impressive, but not at all a surprise. Of the few things I’ve learned about you, your smarts were first. I would like to hear more about what you were like in high school.” Emma watched in delight as their food was delivered. A club sandwich was exactly what she needed.
Caroline thanked the waiter for her salad. “That time in my life is long forgotten.”
“How about I tell you about my high school years?”
“They were much more recent in comparison.”
“Hush.”
“Let me guess. Prom queen, any guy you wanted, and impeccably clear skin?”
Emma bobbed her head side to side as she chewed. “Not quite.” She swallowed and pointed at Caroline. “Mild acne, way more interested in art class and drama club than boys, and I didn’t bother going to prom.”
“Why not?”
“Because I wanted to go with my best friend, Donna, and she went with her boyfriend, Ralph.”
“I wasn’t ostracized in high school for being gay, but I wish I had been. Everyone picked on me because of my brother.” Caroline dropped her fork loudly. “He was an outcast, a freak. At least that’s what people called him.”
Emma watched a cascade of different emotions play across Caroline’s face. So many of them were new to her. Emma’s chest tightened for Caroline as she sat across from her. “It’s funny how we let high school affect us so deeply when it doesn’t matter all that much in the long run.”
“Those four years feel like a lifetime for some…” A single tear ran down Caroline’s cheek, but she continued to eat her salad.
Emma wanted to capture that tear on her fingertip and extinguish any more that dared to fall. She wanted to hug Caroline tightly and hold her until she felt safe. Emma wanted to know if Caroline had ever felt safe, either as a child or with Ann. A new fierceness directed at Caroline came to life within Emma. Something real was brewing between them.
“I’m sorry, Emma—”
“You apologize too much.” Emma wanted to say more. She wanted to tell Caroline how much she loved when she talked, especially when she’d get a little lost in her words and ramble. She wanted Caroline to know she was safe with her, on this trip and after. Emma wanted Caroline to know she could trust her. “Relax and enjoy your boring salad because I’m sure you have somethi
ng planned for us this evening.”
Caroline put a finger against her lips as she rushed to chew and swallow. “I do, and you may want to caffeinate.”
Emma’s eyebrow rose slowly. “Late night ahead?”
“Not necessarily, just slow.”
Emma’s curiosity was on overload by this point, but she knew the only way to earn Caroline’s trust was to trust her in turn. She held up her glass of water. “Whatever it is you signed us up for, I’m in.”
Caroline smiled broadly and touched her glass to Emma’s. She looked positively radiant and confident and even a little devious.
Emma should’ve been worried, but the way her heart was racing told her she was much more excited than anything else.
Chapter Fourteen
Caroline paced in front of the Starbucks across the street from the resort and waited for Emma to order her large, complicated coffee. She tightened the grip on her phone every time her father cleared his throat.
“I’m just checking in, Dad, and I don’t have much time. Which is why I called you and not Mom.”
“She does have a tendency to ramble.” His chuckle was deep and loud in Caroline’s ear. “Everything is fine here. Kyle’s actually at work right now.”
“That’s really great.” Caroline peeked through the window to catch Emma paying for her drink. “I’ve just been worried because I’m getting a lot of late messages from Mom.”
“You know how she is, kiddo. I’d have to check her pulse if she ever stopped worrying.”
“That’s really morbid, but true.” Caroline watched Emma walk toward the door. “Okay, I have to go. Time for work. Bye, Dad.”
“Bye, sweetheart.”
Caroline barely had the phone away from her ear when Emma approached her. “I see you got what you needed.”
“Venti all the way,” Emma said as she held up her large cup. She pointed to Caroline’s phone. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just checking in.” Caroline was looking forward to their evening because they’d get to experience some local entertainment and they wouldn’t be obligated to talk. A relief, really, because Caroline had been doing a little too much of that lately. She didn’t know how Emma got her to open up so freely, but she was just going to blame her blue eyes. They’d always been a weakness of Caroline’s.