Freddy sank back to the bottom of the boat, but she did not return to the circle of his arms. She looked at him, but he stared to the side, watching the black river churn.
When she could speak again, her voice shook with fear. "It's bad, isn't it? For me, I mean. You were trying to tell me before…Clymenus. Morrígan. They aren't ever going to get over this and leave me alone. Are they?"
Deg started to say something but stopped himself. He reached out and touched her shoulder, his eyes soft, his voice kind but sad. "You must understand something about the ancient gods. We are forgotten. Abandoned. We have kept to ourselves, away from the mortals who made us. We have shut ourselves away to stagnate in our godly realms, a long time now for most of us. Many centuries. Before I went looking for my sister, I had not left the Underworld for nearly fifty mortal years."
Freddy very tactfully decided not to inquire just how old Deg was. Instead, she asked, "What happened to all of you?"
"The ascendance of the Christ-god meant the death of many of the old ways. There have been times since then that we have been remembered--our stories retold, our likenesses remade, our ways revered. People pay us tribute, but they do not believe. It is enough to sustain us, but we do not, none of us, flourish this way. The ancient gods have grown old in our isolation, thin on power. Weary. Bored. We taunt each other. The pantheons duel and bicker. We pick fights among our own, just to have something to do."
"So, all the more reason for Morrígan and Clymenus not to let me go. I'm something to amuse them, right?"
"And a source of power. And a means to tweak the noses of those they hate--Cernunnos and myself."
"They aren't going to leave me alone." A leaden weight settled into her stomach.
"I do not believe they will."
Freddy could find nothing more to say. She was frightened, cold with it all over. She went to Deg and pillowed her head on his chest. He gathered her into his arms and shrugged his cloak off, tucking the garment around her. He set his father's helmet to one side so it wouldn't poke her.
They did not speak again as the ferry crossed stinking marshes and the inky expanse of the Styx. She simply clung to Deg, and he gripped her back hard. The water sloshed almost peacefully around them, so that if Freddy closed her eyes tight and tried hard enough she could almost forget the raging, boiling fear that pressed on her body from all sides.
The boat reached the other shore, hitting the dock with a muted splash. Light shone ahead, and a fresh breeze blew from Above. She wrapped Deg's cloak, still warm from his body, around herself. She put her hood up, holding it near her face so she would not have to look at the grisly ranks of unburied dead flanking the shore. Before he followed her, Deg pressed an extra coin in Charon's hand and murmured something.
Deg clasped her elbow, guiding her over the hill. "You must walk before me. Single file, without touching. And you cannot look back. And we cannot speak."
Freddy's memory stirred. This was probably another myth she had learned in English class, but she couldn't remember which one. "Is this another one of your dad's booby traps?"
"Yes. If you look at me, speak to me, even touch my hand--you will be banished back to the Underworld, and all will be lost. You must promise me, no matter what, you will not look back."
"Okay."
"Frederica?" She half-turned back. He pulled her close for an ardent, lingering kiss on the lips.
Freddy opened her eyes, startled. Then she leaned into him. Her arms twined about his neck, and she pressed herself close to him, her fingers curling in his soft hair, light-headed with manic cheer.
Deg's mouth opened against hers with a rush of warm air and sweet breath. He hummed with pleasure deep in his throat. His hand pushed against the small of her back to bring her closer while the other cradled her head, holding her lips to his. He brushed his lips over hers once more in a feather caress, then drew back.
Off-balance, shaky, she still smiled so big her lips hurt. Deg studied her face, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw. To have him look at her like that, hold her and kiss her like the world might end--the sensations made something ache with a sweet pain deep inside. So she kissed him. Deg's lips lingered against hers for a breath before he ducked his head away, grinning as stupidly as Freddy guessed she was.
She touched her kiss-roughened lips. "That still doesn't change anything, does it? Between you and me, I mean."
"It cannot be allowed to." Deg rested his cheek on her hair. "As soon as I have seen you home, I will say my goodbyes to you. Forever. This--" He pressed his lips firmly to hers again, then pulled back. "--is for myself. To give me courage."
"All right. Then this," she kissed him, "is for me. For luck."
Deg smiled, but his face looked pale, drained from past stress and present worry. "Ready?"
"No." But she turned from him anyway and started up the hill. Up the hill. Away from the beach. Out of the Underworld and back to life. Her life. Her family.
Her home.
Yeah. Fine. Great. Watch me go.
Setting one foot in front of the other, she walked a straight line. Up and out through the dark, echoing caverns that waited beyond the sand of the riverbank. She could totally do this. Pausing to catch her breath, she issued a stern reminder to herself not to look back, not to ask Deg how he was doing.
Deg. Why couldn't she touch him? Walking through these lonely caverns, just holding his hand would mean so much to her. She stopped. She couldn't hear him behind her. In fact, she couldn't remember having heard him since she stepped off the beach. She was huffing and puffing, winded by the uphill walk. Why couldn't she hear his breathing?
Her breath caught in abrupt terror.
What if he wasn't there? What if something had happened, and he wasn't following her?
Or what if he'd tricked her? Maybe he just wanted her to get lost in the caverns and starve to death. Miserable. Alone. Sobbing into the blackness as it claimed her sanity and her life.
No. I don't believe that. She wanted to scream for him, to cry, to turn and look back. Just one quick peek to make sure she wasn't alone. The temptation was so potent. Almost as if a strong hand had reached out to her body, compelling her to turn, to look. She needed him there with her, needed to know she wasn't alone. Her muscles tensed to turn around.
I'm not alone. I'm not. He said he'd be there. He said to trust him. I do.
These feelings aren't real, Fred. It's a trick. Just wait. She took one breath and another, but had to stop and hold herself still when she began to hyperventilate. Freddy squeezed her eyes shut and dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands. It'll be all right. Just wait. Just wait and…hope. Yeah.
She walked forward again, her dad's message a mantra in her head urging her on.
So, on she trudged, fighting her fatigue, keeping her panic choked down to a level that let her function, pressing back with her will at whatever foul magic of Hades' was trying to mess with her head. The world had narrowed to only her feet, and her purpose had become nothing more or less than putting one in front of the other, over and over, as many times as needed to get herself home.
Suddenly, she had to blink and shield her eyes to look forward. The warmth of light burned on her face. She glanced at a break in the rocks above.
A break with a shaft of sunlight pouring through.
Freddy lifted her skirts and staggered forward with a frantic burst of energy. She was tired, she was muddied and bloodied and fed up to her eyeballs with being stuck in the Underworld. Freddy was done.
She flung herself at the pile of rocks and scrambled over it, trying to find places to put her hands and pull herself up. One of her feet caught in her skirts. She slipped and tore the fabric, her whole body jerking half a foot downward. Her nerves jolted with fear, but she stabilized herself, digging her foot into a hold hard enough to bruise her toes. She slithered continually upwards after that, until she reached the tiny gap in the rocks. Squeezing through the opening, the rocks scraped her skin and pl
ucked at her clothes but when she crested the top, the sun, the blessed, brilliant, wonderful sun, warmed her back and shoulders. She flipped herself over gingerly, lying back across cool rock.
Pebbles tumbled free and pinged on the ground below as she blinked joyfully at the pink dawn. She groaned and dug her fingers into the gaps in the stones to pull herself forward, inch by painful inch, until she'd cleared the opening.
Too tired to do more than fall off the rocks, she collapsed on her back in a clump of sweet smelling grass. She reveled in the gentle warmth of the sun as it tingled on her skin and heated the fabric of her poor ragged wedding gown. She kicked her shoes off and squeezed her toes in the blades of grass beneath her bare feet.
"Are you all right?"
She opened her eyes to see Deg. He sat above her, propped over her face by his elbows. The sun haloed his head in adoration.
She beamed at him. "We did it."
He beamed back, goofy and proud. "Yes. Shall we get you home?"
Freddy swallowed. Her mouth went dry, nerves firing with sudden hope. "Yes, please."
Chapter Twenty-Five
Deg tugged Freddy to her feet and led her through the meadow, which turned out to be a local park in her hometown. Pulling some car keys out of his cloak's pocket, he led her to the parking lot where a dark blue '64 Ford Mustang waited. The car stunk of diesel but shone like lacquered candy in the pale light. She didn't know where he had dug up the car, or how he knew how to drive it, but she didn't care. The car had soft upholstery and a heater that worked. She crawled in and let her head fall back against the headrest.
He started the engine, muffler apparently not included. The car snarled to life and growled its way down the empty streets. She drank the scenery in as it streamed by her window, reassuring herself it was happening--she'd come home and nothing could take that away. Tears prickled her eyes as he turned onto her street. The familiar swoop and swerve of her curving hill stole her breath. Home. Home. Home.
But when they pulled up in front of her squat, pale blue house, there were no cars in the driveway. No Mom. No Dad.
Freddy jumped out and let her door slam. "What the--"
Deg frowned but touched her arm. "I did not tell them I would be bringing you back. I did not know I should do it myself until I had. Perhaps they are at work?"
The suggestion seemed possible. Mom did art tutorials at the local craft store some mornings, and Dad might have been on graveyard. Yeah. Of course. Nothing to worry about. Freddy walked to her front door, but turned back when she didn't hear Deg's footsteps behind her.
His face twisted in a bitter expression. "Here I'll leave you."
"No." She covered her mouth and looked around at the neighbors' houses, then back at him. She went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Please, come inside? I'll make you breakfast, and you can clean up."
He hesitated, half-tensing for some movement so she kept on. "Please, Deg? I'm still not used to the idea we even have to say goodbye. Give me this morning to get used to it. Besides, I think you have to stick around until one of my parents comes home. The job's not done until you can pass me off to someone else, is it?"
He smiled wryly at her. "No, I suppose not."
"Right." She dug out the spare set of house keys hidden under a rose bush and let herself in through the kitchen door, Deg trailing behind. Stepping inside, she filled her lungs with the air of home. The house smelled of toast and oatmeal, with a hint of Mom's floral perfume on the air. The knots inside Freddy worked themselves loose. She turned back to Deg. "Food first or…?"
He smirked as he looked her over from head to toe. "Perhaps you wish to freshen up."
She glanced down at herself and gasped. The obvious fact hadn't occurred to her before how filthy a trip through the Underworld could make a girl. Her legs were caked in flaking brown mud, and blood trailed down one leg from a scrape on her knee. Her gown had started out pure white but was now a dingy gray, torn and soiled all over, the embroidery frayed and the golden beadwork pitted with missing pieces. She didn't want to think how her face and hair looked. Glancing Deg over, he was in no better condition, she just hadn't been in a position to notice before.
"You're the guest, Deg. You can shower first if you want--"
"No. Ladies first."
She didn't even try to hide her relief. "I'll be quick."
~~~
Ten minutes later, wet hair pinned on her head, Freddy returned to the kitchen. She had put on a pair of her most comfortable plaid PJ pants, a red T-shirt that said, "Redheads are HOT!" and a gray hoodie.
Deg had washed his arms and his face while he waited. He sat at the kitchen table and smiled at her when she came in. He rose to his feet and, crossing close to her, brushed a wet lock of her hair behind her ear. "You look much better, my Amazon. Like yourself. It tells me as nothing else could that I was right to do this."
She swallowed, suddenly nervous, shy now she was back in the real world. "What do you want to eat?"
"Whatever you wish to make." He kissed her dimple and headed toward the bathroom.
She cupped her hand to her face, pressing the memory of his kiss into her skin, saving it for later when he would be gone. When the shower started, she shook herself and started making breakfast.
~~~
By the time he returned, Freddy had made bacon, scrambled eggs, and cooked two tall stacks of pancakes. Deg dropped into a chair and set his father's helmet on the table beside him with a clunk. She served him bacon and eggs, then dug into her own food with a frenzy. She stuffed herself almost to the point of being sick. Such a good feeling after all her days of near fasting.
Deg's hair looked darker than usual with moisture. He'd combed it back from his face, but an errant clump fell over his temple. He wore the clothes she had left for him. The gray sweats were too short so she caught a glimpse of hairy ankle as he walked. She bit back a laugh to see Polydegmon, Heir to the Underworld, in the humorous blue T-shirt she had given her dad for his birthday, "Slightly used but in good condition."
The description certainly applied to Deg right now. And me. Deg was paler than usual, and darkening bruises marred the skin on his face and neck. His under eyes were blue-shadowed, his eyes tired, red now and puffier than before his shower. Had he been crying?
He looked so normal, more human--just a young guy, beat-up, tired, and a little grim.
"A very fine meal, my Amazon." He sat back in his chair. "And now what?"
"It's nearly nine. Dad should be home soon. We could watch a movie." Her belly twisted. She'd come home, but she still had to deal with her parents--with Mom lying to her for her whole life. She still had a lot of stuff to sort through, and Da--Col--Dad seemed a major part of all that.
Setting all that aside as irrelevant for now, she pulled Deg into the living room. He collapsed lengthwise on the couch and threw one arm over his eyes, looking as drained as if a vampire had sucked him dry.
She put on an old swashbuckling movie, and Deg looked doubtful as the opening sequence played out.
"Give it a chance." She slid herself in between him and the back of the couch, resting her cheek on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her back and hugged her close.
He remained unconvinced about the movie until the first real fight scene. After that, she could tell he'd been hooked, and she studied him as he watched the movie. He was wonderful to look at--something about the way he laughed. First, this bright, expectant look would take over his face, then, at the punch line, a startled crack of laughter would burst out. If it was a really good part, his eyes crinkled at the corners and shone out with pleasure. He would let his mouth fall open in a grin, and his whole body rumbled with laughter beneath hers.
She figured she could spend a pretty satisfying eternity watching him laugh--and trying to make it happen as often as possible.
Deg caught her looking at him and raised an eyebrow. She just nestled her head into its accustomed shoulder nook.
Well-being war
med Freddy all through. She was safe, warm and fed to a stuffed and sleepy fullness. And to be snuggled close to Deg was so nice, comforting. This quiet moment of contentment seemed somehow more intimate, more precious and real than ten rounds of tonsil hockey could ever be. She smiled, closed her eyes, and drifted to sleep, even as Deg snored softly beneath her.
~~~
"Oh my god. Freddy!" Mom's hysterical shrieking jolted Freddy awake. She reared up and accidentally clocked Deg in the eye with her elbow. She managed to untangle herself from Deg, blinked the sleep from her eyes, and faced Mom.
"Freddy." Mom crushed her in a tight hug, crying in body-wracking sobs.
Deg scratched at his head and yawned. "I am sorry I did not bring her back sooner for you, Abigail."
Freddy sat her hysterical mom on the couch and kept an arm around her shoulders. She darted a look at the clock, not quite four in the afternoon.
Mom was still sobbing. "I th--thought I'd ne--never see you again…you might be dead…or hurt…or anything, and I'd never kn--know." She gasped and hiccupped, tears streaming out of her eyes.
Freddy sent a pleading look at Deg, and he snatched the box of tissues off the mantelpiece. She yanked a fistful out and shoved them at her mom, flustered and scared. She was a teenager, but she wasn't sure she'd ever be old enough to deal with her mom crying. "I'm fine, Mom. Deg took care of me. Nothing happened."
Except for that bit where I was beaten and almost…or the thing with Cerberus. Oh, and the part where I almost went insane on the road out of the Underworld but other than that--
Mom's sobs redoubled. "Colin saved the day, after all."
Freddy jerked back in surprise. "Dad?"
Mom's breath caught in a juicy gulp. "I'm so glad you're back, sweetie, b--but I w--wish it could have happened some other w--way." She collapsed against the arm of the couch, the tissues a soggy ball in one hand.
Freddy's chest tightened, and an unknown dread she hardly wanted to acknowledge settled into her gut. "Mom, what are you talking about?"
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