by Aja Cole
“If that is what you heard, then yes.”
“Don’t be an ass. Is that or is that not what you want from me?”
“I want your help, Thea.”
It meant a lot for me to have a positive image. Sure, I was known for being an aggressive and passionate player – but that was on the field. I was confident. I was sarcastic and I talked some shit. I was not an abuser, and I wouldn’t have my mother thinking that about me, or let any of the little boys that looked up to me think that I condoned the behavior.
“Please.” I stepped closer to her, hoping she could see the sincerity in my face. Despite our past, we could be friends. “We could use this opportunity to understand each other better, and let everything that happened in the past stay in the past. We could be better to each other this time, even if it’s only for show, si?”
She was tapping her foot against the floor, in the way she did when she was agitated.
“Luc…” she trailed off, shaking her head.
“If you want me to get on my knees and beg, mi reina, I will. This is important to me, not because of the endorsements. That is what my management team is most worried about. It is important to me that I am not seen this way. Not by the young boys that have me on their walls and not by the young girls that daydream about a man they believe they know. I don’t even want it as a question in their minds. Please.”
“There’s a lot we need to talk about, a lot of logistics. I have work, there’s my friends and family who don’t know about you, it’s just a lot to talk about.”
“We can take all the time you need. We can talk until we are, what is that saying? Blue in the face? I just need to know that you’re okay with it. That I can give my agent the yes to put things in motion, get ahead of the release.”
I watched as she bit her lip, every move she made as familiar to me as if I was making them myself. I knew the moment she made her decision, because she released her lip and gave me a look like I was the most annoying person on the planet.
“I’m not saying yes…but I’m not saying no.”
I dropped my forehead down to hers, knowing she’d be surprised and not caring.
I was more grateful than I could say.
To some, it may have been stupid. Just a rumor. Nothing to make a big deal out of. But it mattered to me, and it meant a lot that despite the view she seemed to have on how I’d felt about her, she still didn’t shoot me down.
“Gracias, mi cielo. Gracias.”
9
Theodora
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down at it as I walked into the cozy breakfast place with Luciano.
It was Matthew. I wasn’t too keen on answering, so I ignored the call. He’d just left, didn’t even ask me anything or seem overly concerned. Granted, Luc seemed very familiar with me and it most likely threw him off…but still.
Maybe my irritation wasn’t the most rational thing in the world, but it was there. I didn’t find Matthew as attractive or as much of a potential boyfriend as I had before.
And no, it didn’t have anything to do with the only man I’d ever had sex with reappearing in my life. Or that I was about to pose as his girlfriend to prevent a PR crisis.
Nope. No connection.
“Tell me again why I can’t just give a statement or why we can’t just make it clear that there weren’t any reports filed?”
“The easiest way to take attention away from one story is to give them another, juicier story to focus on. That is how Amina will explain it to you, as she told me.”
“And Amina is who we’re meeting? She’s your publicist?”
“She’s one of my publicists, si. She’s more about my image not involving futbol. I have another publicist who deals with anything regarding games and statements. Amina is handling my personal brand and endorsements.”
“That’s absurd. You’re one man,” I said in a low voice, following him to a little table where a pretty woman with a natural tan sat. When we reached it, she slid off the dainty reading glasses she had on and looked up from the computer she was rapidly typing on.
“This is her?” she raised arched eyebrows, smiling and showing perfect teeth, “I was expecting a gold digger, not a woman who looks like she has some sense.”
“I can’t tell if that disappoints you or not,” Luc said drolly, pulling out one of the padded chairs for me.
“Well, a gold digger would’ve been a little more work to make look believable. This isn’t going to be nearly as fun.”
“I’m sorry?” I spoke finally, sitting down.
“Oh don’t be! At least this way, I won’t hate every minute I spend with you two.” She gave me an appraising look, sticking her hand out across the table. I shook it, and then she closed the laptop, giving a little head shake and tossing her dark blonde hair over her shoulder. “I’m Amina, and I know you’re Thea. Luc’s little hidden lover. You’re very pretty.”
“I’m not his lover,” I corrected, glancing at him. “And thank you.”
The cocky smirk I’d seen all too many times when Luc was a little younger and little more arrogant, was of course, present on his face.
“Ah, so I do have a little work to do. He hasn’t told me a single concrete thing about you, so I’m flying a little bit blind here. By your quick correction, I’m going to assume things ended badly.”
“It depends on who you ask.” He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “Some might say it didn’t properly end at all.
Oh, brother. “You know, the whole clueless thing really isn’t attractive.”
“I wouldn’t want to give you another reason to find me irresistible, Teodora.”
“My name is Theodora,” I huffed.
“That’s what I said, Teodora.” He winked one darkly lashed eye. Ugh.
My life would’ve been a little easier if he wasn’t even more devastatingly attractive now than he’d been when I first met him. And really, I hadn’t even been attracted to his face first. I hadn’t seen it. I’d felt his rhythm, his body, and his voice. When I finally saw what he looked like…
His amazing face was just icing on an already colossal, multi-tiered cake.
Back then, he’d had a little more of an innocent look to him, even at 20.
Now? He was all chiseled, and there wasn’t an ounce of baby fat on him. His jawline could cut butter, and the stubble that graced his cheeks and mouth just intensified his allure.
Add in dark hair that always seemed to flop just the right way....
Then top it off with eyes that ranged from being a deep navy blue to a mesmerizingly clear sapphire, that were fringed in enviously thick lashes – and you got why even then, the minute I turned around and faced him in that club, my fate was sealed.
But I wasn’t a young, impressionable girl anymore who’d never given a guy the time of day. I was older, and a little more jaded.
He was a pretty face, but he also liked pretty faces.
I wasn’t going to compete with anyone else for a man that’d told me he was mine.
This little situation was only for show, and the moment I was off the hook, we could pretend it’d never happened. He could sign the divorce papers, and I could work on finding someone to date that didn’t follow soccer.
I had a lot of questions about how exactly we were going to pull this off, and how it would impact my life after it was over.
“This is good, this is really good,” Amina murmured, leaning back in her seat and looking between us. “I can almost see the chemistry between you two, regardless of what happened before. Keep that up, throw in some loving affection, and nobody will think for a second that he doesn’t dote on you.”
“Define loving affection.” I ignored Luc’s snort and focused on Amina.
“Hand-holding, kissing, hugs – all the cutesy stuff you hate other people for doing in public, but that the gossip and lifestyle media will eat up.”
“Everything we used to do, Thea. No need to be shy now.”
“Except now
we’re not really together. How much time will this take? How public are we talking, and will I need to travel – because I do have a job. You know, being one of those girls with good sense and all.”
“We have around 6 weeks until Luc needs to be back with the team. With him on watch for his concussion, he won’t be playing for the national team this summer, so he has a little more time than usual. That works in our favor. This story will be out in about 7 days. I couldn’t get any more hush time, so this is what we’re working with.” She pulled a folder from a large tote that was sitting next to her, and slid some papers across the table. “Before we do anything else, I need you to sign this NDA. It’s modified, because we’ll need to be able to discuss some aspects of your relationship. Anything about this being for good press, about his concussion, and everything that does not fit our narrative that happens after this moment will be illegal for you to discuss outside of my client and I. Do you have any questions?”
I did, but not about the NDA.
“Nope.” I took the pen she passed, and signed my signature on the last page. Hopefully, I wasn’t signing my soul away, but I didn’t think Luc would have anyone around that didn’t have his best interests in mind.
I was doing this to move on. Maybe we could have a small friendship while all this happened. Some good memories to replace the bad. I couldn’t hold on to my anger over what’d happened when I was 18 forever. Live and let live, or whatever.
I could think of this as…radical therapy.
Amina tucked the papers back into the bag, along with her laptop. She leaned on the table and stared me down. “Now that we’ve covered that, prepare yourselves. We’ve got a busy next few days and I don’t want either of you bitching.”
What was I getting myself into?
10
Luciano
I waited for her in her living room, leaning against the window and aimlessly staring out at the rain beating down on the city.
It would be the first night we presented our relationship to everyone.
Amina had us take two days to “reacquaint” ourselves, and to find some sort of natural rhythm of affection. Thea had to practice not flinching when I touched her.
It all brought into perspective just how different we were now.
We weren’t two young kids being spontaneous.
There was a time when if we were in the same room, I was touching her. When she wanted to be around me as much as possible and welcomed the littlest touch, the smallest glance.
To me, it almost came naturally, pretending this way.
I felt like I’d been pretending with every woman since Thea. Giving just enough to appease them, but not enough to lose myself the way I’d lost myself in her. It was a fine balance that ensured I never gave more than I wanted to. I was always in control. They chased me, never the other way around.
Some would call me cruel. I discarded the ones that didn’t understand the role they played in my life, the ones that wanted too much. I didn’t make their decisions for them. I didn’t lie to them. I didn’t make promises I wouldn’t keep, so I didn’t feel guilty about the lack of substance between us.
They sacrificed substance for gifts and experiences they couldn’t get dating men like Matthew. They chose me because I was a star, and I chose them because they were safe.
It worked.
This charade that I deemed necessary, because of the way I wanted the kids that looked up to me to continue seeing me – it would be easy. I would keep the same distance that I did with the others, with the one woman that cemented my belief that you could give and give to someone and it would never be enough.
No woman would make me feel the vulnerability that I allowed Thea to see. The vulnerability that she threw back in my face without a second thought.
On the surface, we would fix things. We’d agreed not to bring up our past and not to dwell on it. This was a completely new start, something that would benefit both of us.
If I could get rid of all the thoughts going around my thick head about using this second chance for a real second chance.
The visibility that it would gain Thea would help with her dream of starting her own interior design firm. She would go on the endorsement shoots with me, and get to learn more about creative directors, something else she was excited about. Amina was trying to get her to accept a lump sum of money for her help, but she hadn’t signed those papers yet.
I got the feeling that she didn’t want to feel like a paid companion.
Though it was, essentially, what she would be.
“Can you hook the back up for me? I have no idea why I didn’t get something with a zipper,” Thea’s voice came from behind me.
I turned from the window, and my mouth went dry.
It was the first time I’d seen her like this, so dressed up.
She’d matured in ways I hadn’t noticed before.
I realized I was still standing by the window and she was waiting in the bedroom doorway with the back of her dress gaping open.
It gave me ideas that I shouldn’t have been having.
I took my hands out of the pockets of my tux, and walked over to her, finding the bottom hook and snapping it closed. There had to be at least fifteen more of the things, if they went all the way up her back.
“You planning on taking someone home to help you with these?” I teased, my fingers accidentally brushing over the skin of her back. I already knew the answer.
“Don’t play. If I have to live with you, then you’re on maid duty.”
“What’d your boss say when you asked her for the time off?”
“She’s a good friend, so she was more focused on who the mystery man is I’ve supposedly been seeing. I don’t think she follows soccer—.”
“Futbol,” I interrupted lightly. The term soccer made little sense to me. Our football was more football than the American football. Theirs was hand-ball.
“Futbol,” she repeated, and I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. “She doesn’t follow it. Anyways, I have mock ups for a few clients that have a longer time schedule, along with pictures of all their spaces. As long as I’m regularly sending her ideas over the next few weeks, I’ve still got a job to come back to when this is finished.”
“And Matthew? The people you’re closest to? What will they say when I’m supposed to have been in your life before now?”
“I got married and didn’t tell them. That should tell you that when it comes to my love life, I don’t think anyone has the right to know until I tell them. This whole public thing goes against my extreme privacy. I’ll call my mom and dad, but that’s it. Matthew…we weren’t dating and he didn’t know everything about my life.”
I was finished hooking her dress. It stopped halfway up her back with thin straps criss- crossing her gorgeous skin.
But I didn’t move away. I didn’t examine why I took the extra seconds to keep my hands on her, to lean down slightly and inhale the vanilla sweet scent that was so familiar. Something I’d done countless times before.
“Luciano?” her voice was quiet, questioning, but I didn’t respond.
I was about to break a rule. Maybe two or three.
With Thea, it always felt like a compulsion. Part of me wanting nothing to do with everything we’d been, but the boy inside me that I’d been when I met her – wanted it all.
I rested my hands lightly on her small waist, sliding them around the shimmery fabric of her gown and pulling her back to me, so like that first moment together.
“Bailar conmigo,” I rested my chin on her shoulder, and I felt the rapid flitter of her pulse. Like a trapped hummingbird.
“What are you doing, Luc? This isn’t part of our agreement,” her voice was steady and low, matching my tone. There was firmness to it, even though she’d covered my hands with her own, making no attempt to remove them.
I didn’t know what I was doing.
I wanted to slide my hands under the long dress and bare her body to me.
“Dance with me, Teodora. Before it’s all for show.”
11
Theodora
I was too aware of him.
It took nearly holding my breath while he did up my dress, for me to not cling to him. One whiff of his freshly showered, smoky scent and I’d been trying not to breathe ever since.
This is what happened when you were in a sexual drought and there was a hot ass guy all in your space, who you’d been subjected to being around for much longer than comfortable.
I was only human.
He talked, and I answered, my mind drifting to keep me as far from grounded as possible.
Then I realized it shouldn’t be taking so long. I said his name, but he didn’t respond, not with words.
He responded with his touch, holding my waist with both his large hands like it was his right. Then he said the words that made me close my eyes and fight my own memories.
I protested, keeping my voice strong, feeling the slight stubble on his face grazing the bare skin of my shoulder. I couldn’t let him know how much he affected me still, but I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding.
“Dance with me, Teodora. Before it’s all for show.”
God, how was I supposed to say no? I was wrapped up in the past and present merging, the line blurred between reality and memory. Two days of trust exercises and staring into each other’s eyes had obviously affected me. I was too comfortable, too trusting of our situation. In that moment, I wanted to say yes. What could it hurt? What damage could one dance do?
“We don’t have any music,” it was the only thing I could think of.
“We don’t need it. We have our own rhythm, our own beats, remember? This is all I want; this moment, nothing more.”