by Aja Cole
“Lay it on me, amigo.”
“I want Thea back.” No sense beating around the bush. Time was of the essence.
“Eres estúpido? Quieres que tu corazón—!,” He was shouting through the phone and I pulled it away from my ear, sighing. I didn’t know what else he was saying, but I could imagine.
“Will you stop yelling at me like my mother, and give me some advice?” I cut in, clearing my throat and trying to tone down my native accent again. It got thicker when I was emotional, and I’d learned to smooth it out over the years. Nobody liked interviewing the player that couldn’t be understood.
I just gave you advice. Cut your losses, and keep that bruja far away from you,” he instructed gruffly.
So helpful.
“Not an option. We’re kind of,” I glanced back to make sure I was still alone, “together.”
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU—”
“Manuel, if you don’t stop yelling, I’m going to drop this call,” I warned, and he stopped his ranting.
With a deep exhale, he started again, “Okay. Inside voice. What the fuck do you mean you’re together? I thought this was you building your brand, taking some downtime from the game, not getting back with el diabla.”
“She’s really not as bad you talk about her,” I snorted. “Nowhere near as bad as the women you date.”
“Hey, I go in knowing they’re gold-digging beauty queens. You thought Thea was worth it, and she wasn’t. That makes her worse in my book.”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Well I told you what I think, and my mind isn’t changing. The puta can rot.”
“Insult her again like that, and you won’t have a place in my life.” I noticed that I’d balled my fist, so I made myself unclench it. Thea didn’t deserve to be talked about the same way as the women who threw themselves at us. No matter what happened between us, she was different.
She’d always be different.
Manuel was silent for the first time since we’d been on the phone.
Good.
“Now that we’ve covered the fact that you don’t care for the woman I think might be the love of my life, tell me something useful. Put aside the past, and give me some advice. I want her back. Que habo? What do I do?”
He let out a long string of cuss words, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“You can never do things the easy way, no?”
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me. “There’s no passion in the easy way.”
“Alright, here’s what you do…”
I listened, taking in everything he said, and feeling better by the minute.
This could work.
I was going to woo Thea once and for all.
14
Theodora
“I’d be happy to send you some samples, and I can come by to take a look at the room.” Then, remembering that I’d be a little busy with the Luc situation and possibly out of town soon, “Uh, as soon as there’s a free moment in my schedule.”
Leila took my hand and kissed me on my cheek, beaming. “Wonderful. I’m so excited.” She rubbed her hand over the stomach that was barely showing any signs that there was a tiny human growing inside her. “I’m hopeless at the decorating stuff, really hopeless. I’m not good at any of this domestic stuff. We eat takeout so much; I think Thomas is just about ready to divorce me.”
“I highly doubt that,” I told Leila, smiling.
Thomas, her husband, pecked her on the cheek and slung an arm around her neck. The entire time I’d been talking to them, I’d gotten the feeling that he thought she hung the stars and she thought he’d hung the moon. They were hopelessly in love, and just watching them together made me happy.
It made me happy while it made me ache somewhere deep inside.
“I’ll eat charred spaghetti every day of my life, as long as I’m eating it with you,” he winked at me playfully when she slapped at his shoulder.
“The stove was turned up a little too high, but it was edible!”
I started to speak, but closed my mouth when I felt a large, warm hand settle onto my back.
“Miss me?” it was like every nerve in my body responded to his voice. Immediately, a low hum settled over my body, like I was just waiting for the smallest sign from him to jump his bones in the middle of the room. In front of very sweet people, all because my hormones couldn’t control themselves.
Jesus, take the wheel.
“Uh…” words, what were the rest of the words?!
“Is this your husband? My oh my, I might need to divorce Thomas after all.” Leila whistled.
Thomas and Luc laughed, and I was still trying to figure out how to string a real sentence together with the heat of Luc’s body so damn near mine, suffocating me and just, ugh.
“This is my beautiful wife, si. Luciano Silva, pleased to meet you.” He bussed his lips against the side of my head and I nearly exploded into flames. What the hell was up?
“OH, and he’s Spanish. Thomas, why don’t you have an accent like that?” she teased, propping small hands on her hips and mock pouting up at her husband.
“You think I’d have picked a rugrat like you for a wife, Leila, if I had an accent like his?” He nudged his wife with his hip and she giggled, nudging him back.
Wow, to be comfortable with someone like that. To trust that no matter what they said, they had nothing but love for you.
I could only imagine.
“You two seem to love each other very much.” Luc said quietly, and I glanced up at him. It wasn’t like him to sound so…grave.
“I joke, but there’s not another man for me in this life. I can’t wait to watch him as a father, knowing how hard he loves me. Do you two have kids?”
“Oh no, we uh,” I looked at him quickly, “no kids for us.”
“Do you want any?”
“I…well…,” I was floundering. Were these polite questions? I felt like I was under a microscope or something.
“Yes. A girl and a boy.” My eyes flew to Luc’s, and I wanted to look away from the intensity in his, like he was trying to push his words into my soul. He kept talking. “To start with. A little boy and girl that love design as much as their mother and maybe that play American soccer if she’s okay with it.”
Alright, he was laying it on a little thick, wasn’t he? Even I was thinking that he meant the words. This couple was hardly going to call up reporters and rat on us, so he didn’t need to sound so convincing.
“Would you want that, Thea?” He took my hand, stroking his thumb over my skin, and I tried to keep my mouth from dropping.
Me? He was asking me that? Like not a joke or for show? It didn’t feel like he was joking, it felt like he was asking me something that was important and I needed to think about it before I answered.
I opened my mouth, and closed it again. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to lie, but would it be a lie? Was he asking me or was he asking his fake girlfriend me? Shit, real wife me?? How was I supposed to answer when I didn’t even know who he was asking!
Luckily, Leila’s humor saved me.
“Don’t pressure the poor girl, she’s obviously trying to figure out a nice way to tell you to hit the road,” she smiled, waiving down a passing waiter who was walking around with a tray of little pastry bites. “Have you tried these individual beef wellingtons? If I have to go on bed rest, Tom, I want these everyday, okay?”
Distraction. “I’ll try one!” I grabbed two, taking a few steps away from Luc and meeting his guarded eyes as he stuck his hands into his pockets. I swallowed hard, the flaky bite sticking in my throat a little. What was he doing? Why did I feel like I was hurting his feelings?
“Alright, little lady, I think it’s time we get you home so you can’t harass this nice couple anymore.” Thomas took Leila’s free hand, the one that wasn’t holding pastry, and shook Luc’s hand with his other. “It was very nice meeting you two. Can’t wait to see what Thea’s amazing min
d comes up with for the baby’s room.”
I hugged Leila, then Tom, making sure I had her business card and they had mine. I watched them walk away, laughing at Leila’s cheeky wink and mouthing of hot towards Luc. Instead of turning back to face him when they were gone, I pretended he wasn’t standing behind me. I pretended I hadn’t seen the look on his face when I didn’t answer him. I pretended I hadn’t very badly wanted to say yes.
“Ready to leave? The car should be here soon.” He didn’t touch me this time. He kept his distance. Oh.
I knew it was for show. Now that we didn’t have an audience, he wasn’t touching me or anything. Of course, it hadn’t been a real question, idiot.
“Yeah, I think we’re good here. The important person in this has been reassured we’re together, so I guess the curtain’s down now.”
Luciano’s fingers brushed my shoulders before I moved away and started towards the coat retrieval. “Thea, are you okay?”
“Perfect,” I mumbled, handing over my ticket and getting my coat. I shrugged away Luc when he tried to help me put it on. It was only the first night, and I didn’t want to keep the charade going any longer than I needed to. “I’ll be outside.”
I didn’t wait to hear his response or for him to get his coat.
I just needed a little bit of time away from him, so I could deal with the very real disappointment that I was feeling. The disappointment I didn’t have any right to feel because I knew it wasn’t real, and yet I’d let myself entertain it because of a few little touches and a little stupid dancing.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
If I didn’t get a handle on my lingering infatuation soon, I wouldn’t make it out of the remaining five weeks unscathed.
I couldn’t entertain any ideas of us being real.
Luciano and I were the past, not the present or the future.
This wasn’t real, and I wouldn’t fall for a single thing that happened.
I needed to become a stone fortress, cold and rigid.
No feelings in, no feelings out.
It would be the only way I could go back to my life when it was all over.
15
Luciano
I sat in the same chair that I’d been in when I surprised Thea with my presence a few days earlier, an untouched glass of scotch sitting on the small table.
I was too lost in my own thoughts.
She had my favorite brand.
She wasn’t much of an alcohol person; it went to her head too quickly.
Yet, she had an unopened bottle at her home, as if it was waiting for me.
Like I had a place in her life even when I wasn’t there.
Things like that made me wonder if she’d thought of me far more often than she let on. I knew she was affected by me, the same way I was affected by her. Before she’d pulled away.
In the car the night before, she’d sat as far away as she could without hanging out of the window. She hadn’t said a single word, except goodnight when we’d gotten inside her home. She’d gone to her room and closed the door, and I hadn’t seen her since.
She’d left a short note saying she was picking up a few things from work, and would be back. That’d been when I’d woken up to exercise hours ago, and it was 9pm now.
I had no idea where she was, or if she was avoiding me.
I’d texted her to make sure she was okay, and she only said “Yes.”
There was nothing planned, as we would be leaving for New York the next day.
Manuel, as much as it’d pained him, told me just be honest.
“La verdad te hara libre,” he’d grumbled. The truth will set you free.
I’d been honest. When that couple asked if we wanted children, I told the truth. I did want Thea to bear my children. It seemed that I’d pushed her away, instead of my hope that she would want the same thing. I didn’t understand her, and I knew I needed to understand her, if I was going to have any chance at getting her back.
How could I do that?
Matthew.
I sat up straight, wanting to knock myself on the head for not thinking of the fan-boy sooner. He was Thea’s closest friend. He would know things about her that I didn’t. Things and habits she’d developed in the years since we’d been apart. Surely his number was somewhere. Thea didn’t like to only keep numbers in her phone. She’d told me she wrote them down…where…where had she said she’d written them down back home?
I closed my eyes, putting myself back into one of the many memories from our year together.
The light from the window spilled over the golden highlights in her hair. I was playing with a soccer ball, working on my footwork, something that drove Thea mad but that she’d stopped berating me about. I think she started to enjoy watching me when she thought I didn’t know it. But I always knew when her eyes were on me.
“Stop your antics, Luc, I can’t hear my thoughts,” she grumbled, biting the end of the pen she was holding. She was writing something, probably another post-card. She wrote a lot of those.
“They’re your thoughts, mami. How can’t you hear them if they’re in your head?” The ball slipped away, almost knocking over a vase, but I grabbed it. She was glaring at me when I got up from diving for it, and I smiled sheepishly. “Okay okay, no more today.”
I climbed up onto the small couch beside her and peered over her shoulder to annoy her, ignoring her scowl. Her prickliness didn’t bother me. I knew how to soften her up if I wanted to.
“I’m trying to remember my uncle’s number. He works with this foundation that I think my friend would be a good fit for, so I’m writing her but I can’t remember the damned number.” She moaned, flopping back against me. I stroked a hand over her frizzy curls, twisting a strand around my finger.
“If it’s your friend, give her your mom’s number, and she can give it to her.”
“Why do you make so much sense sometimes?” she closed her eyes, smiling.
“No lo se, it was an obvious answer to me. Do you usually have numbers memorized?”
“Sometimes. The ones I call the most. But even those, I keep a lot of them in a drawer in my kitchen. Or my desk.” She started to stroke my calf with her soft fingers, and I felt myself start to harden. The woman was making me wait for sex, and I couldn’t decide if I hated her or loved her for it…
Bingo.
I got up and pulled open the small drawers on her desk, but there wasn’t anything there that looked like there would be numbers in it.
Kitchen.
I flipped the light switch to the kitchen, checking anywhere where it could be.
Not on the side of the refrigerator.
Not on one of those magnets people felt the need to have on their fridges.
Perfecto.
I found the large pad in a drawer next to the utensils.
Mom...Dad…Brother...Cousin…Extras…
Matthew.
Taking out my phone, I dialed his number.
“Matthew? This is Luciano, si? Are you free to grab a beer?”
I had to hold the phone away when he shrieked like a woman. Ah, I needed him, it was a small price to pay. If nothing else, it’d be an amusing night.
“No, I’ll have a car pick you up. Si, really. Adios.”
After I called the car, I used Thea’s bathroom to freshen up. I could’ve stayed at my hotel, but I’d wanted to be nearer to her. I’d slept on a couch for the first time since I was a child, all for a woman that I hadn’t seen at all that day. I needed Matthew to have some answers that would be helpful to me.
My phone buzzed with a text from the driver. I grabbed my wallet, locking Thea’s door as I left. When I came back, I’d be armed with a little more knowledge and a lot more determination to get back the woman I loved.
“Why aren’t you dating Thea, Matthew?” I questioned bluntly, drinking from the long-necked bottle in my hand. I’d let him ask me about all things futbol for at least an hour, setting a casual tone, but now it was time for business.
He barked out a laugh, surprising me. “Thea’s a ball buster. Not the type of woman a sane man wants to date if he doesn’t want to be trampled over all the time.”
“Her ability to trample over you would not be so if you were stronger, si?” A man saying that he couldn’t date a woman because she was too strong for him? It was laughable. Yes, Thea had a strong personality, but I’d never worried about her trampling over me. We matched in that. Yes, it meant that sometimes we chafed against each other, but I’d never wanted a doormat.
He laughed, not taking offense to my words. “True, but I want a softer woman. Domestic. Thea’s nice, but she isn’t…soft. She’s difficult sometimes and I don’t want to spend my life like that. Great designer, though. Good to have around. I’d date her if she chilled out some, submit more, you know?”
“Interesting.” I took a long pull from my drink. It was becoming more and more clear to me why Thea had never dated this man. I could say, objectively, that he was an attractive male. Blonde, brown eyes, strong face. He seemed to take care of his body, but to me, his mind was lacking. He wanted a woman to give in easy to him, to submit to him without him showing any effort. Even non-sexually, I didn’t believe women should cower to men’s opinions or compromise themselves.
I wondered if she’d thought about dating him.
It would’ve never lasted, but knowing Thea, she would at least consider the simplest route. Back then, she’d told me she hated me as much as she told me she loved me. Or do you mean: I wondered if our relationship had made her search for something easier.
“Do you know her well? Things she likes?” I already felt like I knew the answer. He wouldn’t be nearly as helpful as I’d imagined he’d be. Thea needed a better friend.
He shrugged. “She likes to cook stuff from different places, but I’m not a fan. No offense, American food is just…better. Comfortable. We talk a lot about work, even when we find time to make dinner. I honestly know her dad better than I know Thea. He’s easier to talk to when than she is.”