by Aja Cole
Then I felt myself being dragged from the bed. “What the…”
Luc picked me up in a cradle and took me to the bathroom, sitting me on the toilet. “I didn’t forget you’re prone to UTIs if you aren’t careful.”
Wow.
What a man. Hell, I’d almost forgotten.
I would’ve been embarrassed if I hadn’t dealt with female issues before around him. A lot happened in that year, including my first ever yeast infection. The fact that I knew he was as spent as I was, and he thought about me like that…god, he was one of a kind. It was little things like this that reminded me why I’d fallen for him so hard and so fast.
He left me to handle my business, and I finished up, wiping off with a washcloth carefully. Turning off the light, I padded back to the bed sleepily and he opened his arms for me to settle into them. Pulling the covers over us, he spooned his body into mine and we drifted asleep.
I was in deep, even though I knew we had one more thing to settle before we could think about what our life together now would look like.
The past.
30
Luciano
I woke up before her, and I watched her sleep.
I watched her sleep and thought about how empty I’d felt in the years that I wasn’t with her.
That’s why it was bothering me so much trying to figure out what she thought I’d done.
When we’d been arguing, she’d yelled something about breaking her trust, about telling her one thing when we talked on the phone or emailed, while I was out doing something completely different “with those hussies,” as she’d put it.
I’d shot past it, not listening and yelling back, but now I couldn’t get it out of my head.
I’d been sick with anger and confusion when she just stopped responding to me contacting her. For days, I’d tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe she was somewhere without access to internet and reception.
But then I saw Kimmy one day and asked her had she talked to Thea. She’d told me she’d talked to her every single day, and asked why I asked? I hadn’t told her that Thea was ignoring me, I just thanked her and left.
Then I got drunk as hell and reamed the next morning by my coach for being a fucking mess. She’d been the first girl I allowed into my world, and she’d broken my heart into a million pieces without a single explanation.
I should’ve hated her. I thought I did for a while there, but the moment I saw her again, I knew I could never feel that way about Thea. She filled a piece of me, and I thought I’d done the same for her.
So what made her just discard me like I was a passing fling?
We’d been avoiding completely rehashing things, but we needed to. I’d been up most of the morning, thinking about how to cement things.
Legally, we were already married, so that was a no go.
But then I remembered that her father was coming into town that weekend. I could do it all over again. I could ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage properly, and we could do that thing and re-new our vows. Or just have a more real wedding with her parents there, and my mother and cousin could fly over.
It would be an official fresh start, the right way this time, surrounded by people that cared. I knew Thea wouldn’t want anything extravagant. Maybe we could even do it all that weekend. I was excited at the idea, but we needed to lay the past to rest first and stop avoiding it.
I trailed a hand over her bare shoulder as she stirred, flopping to her back and throwing an arm over her eyes.
“The sun…is bright,” she griped, sighing. I laughed. I loved the brightness, but Thea always talked about getting some dark curtains so she “didn’t have to wake up to sunny bullshit.”
“It’s kind of what the sun does, mi amor.”
“Well it should do less.” She turned on her side, laying her cheek on the pillow and gazing at me through bleary eyes. “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” I returned quietly, just drinking her in. “We need to talk about a few things.”
“I thought we talked about everything before you sexed me into exhaustion.” She grinned, unrepentant.
“Not everything,” I paused, “Why did you begin ignoring me after a few months? I thought we were doing long distance well, and I was going to visit you soon. Then nada, you were gone.”
Her face cleared and her gaze shuttered, and I thought for a second that she wasn’t going to give me an answer. “Before I say this, I want you to know that I am mostly over it. I forgive you, and I don’t want you to lie to me now just to spare the bad feelings.”
My brow wrinkled. I had zero idea what she was talking about, but I agreed to her odd terms anyway. What would I lie about? She’d ghosted me.
“I saw the pictures. Of you with the other women. Making out with them where you thought you weren’t being seen. I even saw a video.”
It took me a full minute to process what the hell Thea had said.
“Perdóname?” I sat up in bed, staring down at her, looking for any sign that she was joking. Her face was grim, like she fully believed the words that were coming out of her mouth. The same way she’d been when I first showed up at her place.
“When I said don’t lie to me, I was including false confusion and outrage too…” she muttered, sitting up and holding the sheets to her full breasts. “I feel like we’re in a good mental place, let’s not ruin it.”
“That’s a little hard to do when I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I couldn’t help it, my voice rose at the end because I was feeling some panic. Where had she gotten pictures of me doing things I hadn’t done? Was this the only reason she’d dropped all communication? The reason I’d been fucking miserable for months, driving myself into the ground to get her out of my head? She didn’t think to ask me about them? Or give an inkling that she trusted me? Qué mierda!
“We agreed to keep our heads, Luc.” She rubbed a hand across her forehead wearily. I got off the bed and began to pace. Okay. Deep breaths. No answers would come if I got angry.
Talking. Not yelling.
I could do this.
“It’s a little hard to take you seriously when your cock is flopping around, she drawled, a slight smile tipping her somewhat swollen lips. Her brown eyes were soft. Thick, messy curls fell over her shoulders. She was a goddamned vision. My chest filled with emotion for her, and yet, I was more lost than ever.
I registered what she’d said and jerked up sweatpants from the floor, shoving my legs into them, then continuing my pacing.
Answers, I needed answers.
I jerked to a stop, crossing my arms and turning to her.
“Where did you find estas fotos?”
“I didn’t find them…” she hedged, sighing. “I didn’t tell Kimmy to keep tabs on you, you have to believe that. I did trust you. Things were rocky those first few months, and then it was like you stepped up more after that night I threw cake at you. From then on and when I got back home, I was all in. Then Kimmy was just trying to be a good friend since I wasn’t there to see anything. She told me she’d started to see you back at the clubs, and I told her I didn’t mind it. Then eventually, she sent me a few pictures and a small video clip of you with another girl, and I couldn’t deny it anymore. Not when there’s hard evidence staring you in the face.” She looked at me with guarded eyes, “We talked all the time. You constantly told me you loved me and couldn’t wait to see me and that I was it for you, then I saw you doing that. I’ve never felt so immediately broken in my life.”
Nothing made sense.
“Kimmy?”
“Yes, Kimmy. You know she liked to hang out wherever the players were. I didn’t have much choice but to believe her, and I knew you’d try to convince me otherwise.”
“Si, I would’ve, because it didn’t happen. You had another choice. You could’ve come to me instead of icing me out of your life like we didn’t mean anything.”
“We were everything,” she rose to her knees, ches
t heaving. “You were my entire world. I started to plan our life together, me moving to you. I didn’t want a life where you did whatever you pleased when I wasn’t around, and I stayed and loved you regardless. That is not the woman I am and I will never be that woman,” she told me fiercely, cheeks flushed.
“No te imaginas lo mucho que te quiero,” I grit out. “I would’ve never done that to you. I did not do that to you. I loved you so much that my game suffered, the game I never let anyone distract me from. Manuel hates the very mention of your name because of how lost I was, wondering what I could’ve possibly done for you to disappear. Being an entire ocean away from you and not being able to show up and get answers, it killed me.”
She got off the bed, studying me and holding the sheet around her. After long minutes of staring at my face, she inhaled deep. “You’re serious.”
I gaped at her, “Dios mio, of course I’m serious!”
She shook her head, muttering something I couldn’t decipher and started away from the bed, hiking up the sheet as she went down the stairs.
“Where are you going?”
“To settle this!” she called back, and I shook my head, but followed.
Maybe we could finally lay all of this to rest.
31
Theodora
I was trying out this new thing where I was trying not to lose my head before I could talk rationally and you know, have a constructive conversation.
Considering I was practically shaking with agitation waiting on Gerard and Kimmy to appear, I didn’t think it would go too well when I could unleash all the questions I had.
How could there be two different stories?
Pictures didn’t lie. It was clearly Luc in them, even down to the tattoo outline of Spain on the inside of his forearm. His face wasn’t as clear as I’d have liked it to be, but it was his dark hair, his tattoo, his physique. And in one of the pictures, he was wearing one of the shirts I’d sent him from this little local place in DC that had the softest material.
I’d looked at those pictures for days, through tears and then through completely dry eyes because I didn’t have any more left to give. I would go to class, do everything I needed to do, then cry myself to sleep after my roommate left for her boyfriend’s place. I was miserable and I didn’t tell anyone. My best friends went to different schools and every-time we talked, I’d put on a happy face. Telling them I’d gotten played and made some of the most reckless decisions while I was away, was too embarrassing.
Then they surprised me with a visit, and I’d kept lying to them. They knew something was up, and they pushed me to tell them, and they were hurt when I refused to share. I’d pushed them away and now we sent messages on birthdays and holidays, but we hadn’t really talked in at least 4 years.
Facing the thought that it might’ve all been for nothing, I felt sick.
Luc had never lied to me. Even when he knew I wouldn’t like the answer, he told me anyway and dealt with whatever reaction he got.
Why would he be lying now? When we were good and I’d told him he was forgiven no matter what he said? It didn’t make any sense.
I remembered Kimmy’s version of events of the police incident, and I was wary. She’d poked condoms full of holes to have a man’s child…She obviously wouldn’t hesitate to screw someone over if she thought she could gain something from it.
I thought she’d been my friend, but now I was a lot less certain. It was almost lunch time, and they still weren’t back at the loft. Little things started to make sense, like her always saying little things to discourage the relationship before she’d sent the false pictures.
I was making sandwiches, muttering to myself, and Luc was leaning against the counter.
“I texted Gerard, but his phone probably died. He’s bad about that.”
“Well, I don’t even have Kimmy’s number anymore, so that’s no help.” I scowled, slapping mayonnaise on six slices of bread. I took the bacon out of the oven and put it on paper towels. I pulled out a tomato from the fridge, jerking a knife out of the block. I lifted it to slice the little fucker, but Luc gently grabbed my hand, taking the handle from me.
“I’ll do the cutting,” he laughed, and I sighed. “You’re a little wound up.”
“And you’re not?”
“Well, I’ve been watching you move around this kitchen in only a t-shirt, so I’ve had time to focus on other things.”
“You’re a dirty old man.” I tried to keep the smile off my face, but I failed. I went to the fridge and grabbed the lettuce, peeling off a few scalloped leaves. We put the BLT’s together, and Luc started to cut them before I stopped him. “Wait! Cheddar.”
“Si, you’re right.” I added the slices of cheese and then put the sandwiches on plates with barbecue kettle-cooked chips on the side. Luc took the plates to the table and cut the sandwiches in half, while I poured two glasses of the watermelon juice I’d made earlier.
Even though I was scared to find out the entire story, I let it drift to the back of my mind as I cuddled up with Luc and we watched Grey’s Anatomy. We’d started having a little TV night regularly back then, and when I got home, we would skype each other and watch it at the same time so we could talk about it like we were there. I cut off contact, and I’d stopped watching. Apparently, he had too.
So now we were starting it back up again, hopefully with a happier ending.
“I can’t believe he just stopped seeing Meredith because Addison came back! Now we have to watch them do this angtsy thing forever until he realizes Addison isn’t the one for him.”
“It’s hard to let go of history. And they were married, knew each other when things were more stressful. They didn’t just get together for no reason,” he countered, his hand stroking my arm where it rested.
“But we both know Meredith is who he’s going to end up with.”
“But he has to figure that out himself, baby. And we get to watch all the drama.”
“I guess. I wouldn’t mind watching the happy parts only though. I swear they’re always killing someone off on this damned show. Like, do any patients ever survive?”
“It can be a little depressing,” he agreed. I tossed my legs over his, throwing my arms around his shoulders. I smacked sloppy kisses on his face as he chuckled, taking my exuberant attack gracefully.
“You don’t seem all that depressed, though,” he teased, pushing a thick chunk of hair behind my ear.
“I didn’t think I’d feel this again,” I said quietly, searching his face. I wasn’t looking for anything specific, but I found the love in his eyes anyway.
“Lucky someone got their wires crossed and I panicked then, hm?” he kissed me tenderly, and it filled me with so much contentedness. It settled me.
“I think I know who, but we’ll talk about that later.”
“Wha—,” he started.
I pulled his mouth to mine before he could ask. My original intention was to distract him. Of course, it turned into so much more.
Our kisses turned ravenous, and I couldn’t help the small sounds I was making. He was just so damned good with that mouth of his.
“I don’t know why you bothered with a bra, you had to know I’d get rid of it,” he muttered, and I raised my arms as he stripped my shirt off. Immediately, he popped the front clasp open easily on my bra and pushed the straps down my arms. Freeing me of the lace, he cupped my breasts in his hands and lifted each one to his lips in turn, kissing
the tips.
Wrapping his tongue around my left nipple, he used his plush lips to draw it into his mouth greedily. Trapping my nipple between his tongue and the roof of his mouth, he tracked one hand down my stomach while he slipped the other inside my thin panties. Immediately, he hit gold. Brushing his finger up against the side of my clit, he massaged it lightly as I arched against the couch, moaning long and loud.
Not having had him yet that day and for so long before, I couldn’t take it. Getting up, I discarded my panties and leaned over
one thick arm of the couch, getting even wetter as he gave me his full attention. Meeting his heavy-lidded eyes, I whispered playfully. “Do me, baby.”
He got up from the couch so quickly that he almost tripped over himself. Luc got rid of his shirt and sweatpants, his cock springing up all too happily once it was freed. I was as happy to see it as it was to see me.
I started to rise from my position, so I could play with him a bit first, but he put a restraining hand on my back. “Don’t move,” his voice was decadent and I felt it roll through my body. He affected me in ways I didn’t even know were possible.
With sunlight streaming through the large windows, he widened my legs and tipped me more so that I was up on the balls of my feet. It was a precarious position, which made it even more exhilarating.
“How long have you been waiting on me to touch you like this?” he questioned casually, like he wasn’t standing behind me with an erection that said he was just as affected.
“Since we got out of bed this morning,” I wiggled my butt impatiently, and he simply ran his hands up the back of my thighs, cupping the bottom of my ass. When he rubbed both thumbs over my exposed labia, my breath hitched. For some reason, everything felt ten times better from behind. He massaged leisurely, my wetness making it easy for him to dip his thumbs into my waiting pussy, opening me to his gaze.
I wished I could see his face. I could feel the tension in the air, and heard his breaths in the space. The low sounds of the TV were background noises that barely registered. We were in a private bubble of desire.
He pulled and caressed me from behind, as if he were getting to know such an intimate part again. I was holding my breath, my hand curling on the cushions, when I felt his stubble against my thigh. He held me open with his fingers, licking me with teasing strokes that started to make me desperate.
But I couldn’t gain any more leverage to push back against him, not with his shoulders stopping my feet from even touching the ground with their size. The way he was holding me, I was trapped and completely at his mercy.