“I think we’re going to start with a cruise. Albert says it will be relaxing, and we need to get used to that first.” Dianna took a sip of her Coke. “I’m not crazy about spending four weeks on a ship. Hearing about all those people that turn up missing, well, I would rather do something else. Maybe a safari.”
“Then you should,” Molly encouraged.
Dianna stared at her incredulously. “I wouldn’t think of it. Albert deserves this. He’s worked his entire life.”
“And you haven’t?” Carolina joined the conversation.
One for the team, Molly thought as she waited for Dianna’s response.
“Yes, but . . . my job. I was just a teacher.”
“Just a teacher? That’s one of the most important careers, bar none. Without good teachers, we wouldn’t have doctors, dentists. I think you should tell your husband you don’t want to go on a cruise. I’m sure he would take your feelings into consideration,” Carolina continued, though her tone was softer and quiet. Almost caring.
“I think you should, too,” Molly added as a show of support for something she truly didn’t give a rat’s ass about. If Dianna wanted to kiss her husband’s royal rear end, then let her do it to her heart’s content.
Then a little voice inside her piped up. Isn’t this what you’ve been doing for almost twenty years?
No, she thought, it was more than that.
Survival. She’d had to survive.
Dianna shook her head. “I’m sure a cruise will be just as relaxing as Albert says. He’s rarely wrong.” She smiled and took another sip of her Coke.
“You must take lots of pictures then,” Molly suggested. She was in the same club, so she might as well participate.
She’d no more had the thought when a crashing noise from above silenced everyone in the room.
“What the hell?” Tanner shouted as he ran upstairs. Molly followed behind, not caring that their guests were instantly hushed.
At the top of the stairs, Graham was huffing; his thick black hair stood wildly on end, and his eyes were almost double in size. He wore nothing except a pair of tattered jeans. His breathing was loud, labored.
“What in the hell is going on?” Tanner whispered harshly.
Graham turned his back on them. Tanner followed him into his bedroom, with Molly trailing behind, her heart beating so fast she feared she’d have a heart attack.
Dirty clothes were tossed in piles all over the room. The floor was barely visible. Books, magazines, beer bottles, and an empty pizza box added to the array of filth. A laptop lay open on the bed with an explicit sexual image so disturbing, a jolt from the past hurtled through her brain. Molly closed her eyes, stopping in the middle of the room.
“I asked you what’s going on?” Tanner said, his voice rising a notch.
Graham had yet to answer, though this time he walked to the side of the bed that wasn’t visible from where they stood and pointed to Holden, who was lying on the floor. “He’s stoned.”
“Damn!” Tanner said, then stooped down to lift Holden, another perfect match of himself, and tossed his limp body on top of the unmade bed. He placed a fingertip to his neck to check for a pulse.
“What’s he on? What was that noise?” Tanner yanked Graham’s arm. “Speak up, goddammit!”
Molly remained silent but assumed Holden was alive since Tanner hadn’t started CPR or called 911.
“What the hell, how should I know?” Graham finally answered. “Get your goddamn hands off me!”
Tanner released his grip and turned his attention to Holden, who was, incongruously, wearing black dress slacks and a pale blue shirt. If one didn’t know the circumstances, one would believe Holden to be a young businessman who’d simply fallen asleep. Tanner rifled through his pockets, tossing his wallet and keys on the floor. In his front pocket he removed a bubble packet of tablets. “What’s this?” he asked, turning around to look at Graham.
“You’re a doctor, Dad, figure it out.”
Tanner squinted at the packet, then whirled around and slapped Molly in the face. Stunned at the unexpected blow, she barely felt the sting. At a complete loss for words, she stood in the center of Graham’s room, silent, too shocked to do anything but stare at what was going on around her.
“What kind of mother are you? Didn’t you teach my son anything about drugs? Dammit, Molly, these could’ve killed him. If he dies, it’s on your hands.” Tanner crammed the packet into his pocket, then proceeded to arrange a limp, unconscious Holden into a semi-upright position.
Molly remained rooted to the floor. She placed her hand on her cheek, where she now felt the sharp burn from her husband’s hand. Tanner generally did his best not to leave marks on her, but this time there was no doubt in her mind that there would be a bruise covering her entire cheek.
“Go downstairs and tell our guests Holden fell and is unconscious. Get them out of the house, and when you’re finished doing that, bring up a glass of hot milk,” he ordered. To him, she was just another piece of property. Something to use when needed. Like her mother had used her so many years ago.
Why had it taken over twenty years, including the months spent as the nanny for the twins, for her to realize that?
In a stupefied daze Molly turned around, ready to comply with his demand, when Kristen appeared out of nowhere, earbuds tossed over her shoulder. “Mom, are you okay?” she cried out when she saw her mother’s face.
Molly had to clear her head. She took a deep, yet shaky breath and nodded. “Go back to your room,” she whispered, barely aware of her own voice. “Please.”
“No!” Kristen said, her voice masterful and commanding. “I’m not going to my room. Dad?” she asked in a loud voice.
“Not now, Kristen. Do as your mother said.”
Tanner was seated on the edge of the bed, next to Holden, whose upper body he had propped up with pillows. His head was angled to one side, and his mouth was hanging open. Tanner stared at his watch, monitoring Holden’s pulse. Then Tanner and Graham dragged Holden to the bathroom and got him to throw up. Tanner was sure this would help Holden to feel a little better. They then helped Holden back to his bedroom.
“No, Dad. I won’t! I’m not like Mom!” Kristen’s green eyes filled with tears.
Molly mentally returned to the scenario playing out in front of them. “Kristen, listen to your father.” She sounded like an automaton.
She had taught all of the kids the dangers of drugs while they were in elementary school. She’d been diligent about making sure they all understood the effects of drugs and alcohol. She even attended the adult drug-education classes offered at Goldenhills High School, long before the boys were old enough to know about drugs. Kristen was just a baby, but Molly had wanted to learn as much as she could so she would be aware of the signs, if, God forbid, her children decided to experiment. That was so long ago that she’d forgotten about it until now. She’d never observed either Graham or Holden using, but she knew they were quite fond of booze. And now, with the twins almost twenty-two years old, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.
Tanner gently eased Holden against the pillows. His blue eyes were as cold as ice, his teeth clenched in suppressed rage. Molly knew this look well.
“Kristen, could you go downstairs and explain to our guests that Holden has suffered . . . a fall.” It was all she could come up with. She was still in shock at Tanner’s behavior.
“Did you hear what I said?” he asked, his rage mounting even more.
“Tanner,” Molly whispered, touching a hand to her cheek. There wasn’t time to allow the marks of his slap to disappear. “I’m afraid . . .” She didn’t finish as she knew it was useless. Instead, she turned to Kristen. “Come with me.” She gently escorted her daughter out of the room before Tanner or Graham could shoot more orders at her.
When they were halfway down the stairs, Kristen stopped and turned to face her. “Mom, are you going to let him continue to treat you this way? He’s a bastar
d, and so are his damn sons.” Kristen’s eyes filled with angry tears. “I hate all of them!”
“Stop right now! He’s your father, and Holden and Graham are your brothers.” Molly couldn’t let Tanner’s and the twins’ actions ruin her daughter’s relationship with them.
“Mother,” she whispered, though the word was harsh. “Don’t you realize they’ve done nothing but bully and batter you your entire life? I don’t like them, and I don’t care if he’s my father, and those creeps are, thankfully, only my half brothers. Holden is a total asshole. If you only knew some of the dirty little secrets he’s kept from you, you wouldn’t be so quick to defend him.”
Molly took a deep breath and touched her cheek. She knew it was still red, as it continued to burn, but she had to put this aside, at least for a while longer. They had guests downstairs, and she needed to take care of them. “I need to dismiss the dinner guests. As soon as they’re gone, we’ll talk. I promise.”
“Really, Mom? ‘Dismiss’? That’s so screwed up,” Kristen stated in a none-too-kindly voice.
“Yes, it is, I know, but as soon as they’re gone, we’ll talk. Now, go to your room and wait for me,” she said, offering up a halfhearted smile. Three steps down, she stopped, and looked up at Kristen, who was still rooted to the stairs. As quietly as possible, she said, “Lock your door.”
Chapter Eight
Molly was greeted with ten pairs of curious eyes when she returned downstairs. Dr. Marsden was the first to speak.
“Is everything all right up there?” He nodded toward the staircase.
Taking a deep breath, she nodded in return. “Uh, yes. Holden seems to have had a bad fall. He’s in a bit of pain, but Tanner is with him. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
Molly could hear the lie in her voice but didn’t really care. A million thoughts danced through her head, yet she couldn’t focus on them now. She had to do as Tanner said. For now. Their guests had to leave. But how to ask them without offending them? That would be another mark against her in Tanner’s mind.
Before she had another chance to speak, from the top of the stairs, Tanner’s booming voice shattered the silence. “We need to get Holden to the hospital.”
“Then it’s worse than I thought. I’m sorry, if you all don’t mind letting yourselves out?” she said, knowing that Tanner had no intention of taking Holden to the hospital. This was his way of showing her who held all the power. Just this once, she was actually glad.
Dr. Marsden stood. “If you’re sure, then we should leave. Have Tanner call me when he’s available. There is something he and I need to discuss.” His dark eyes scanned her. Something about Dr. Marsden bothered her, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on the matter.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “We will do this another time.” She walked over to stand by the front door. She felt like one of those doormen who guard the upscale apartments in New York City.
“You will let us know the outcome?” said Megyn O’Leary.
Molly was reminded of the movie she and Tanner had watched a few nights ago. He’d been too tired to see it to its end and had said something to the same effect.
“Yes, I’ll make sure of it. Now, if we could get Holden to the hospital.” She let the words hang in the air. One by one, the doctors and their wives, and one fiancée, Liz, who trailed behind Dr. Wolf, took their belongings and left. When Molly finally closed the door, she leaned against it, needing a minute to prepare herself for what was sure to be a knock-down-drag-out all-nighter.
“Get up here!” shouted Tanner from the top of the stairs.
Like the obedient wife she was, Molly raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Rooted in his position, Tanner hardly moved a muscle when he grabbed her elbow, squeezing so hard Molly was sure he would break it. She was about to scream when he let go. She let out a fearful breath but didn’t say a word.
He pushed her toward the door to the master suite. “Stay put,” he demanded.
Praying that Kristen had her earbuds in with her music blasting, she focused on her steps. One. Two. Three. She mentally prepared to escape to her safe place because she knew all hell was about to break loose. Drawing in a deep breath, she closed her eyes, giving in to the mental image. Sounds of waves crashing against a sandy shore, the warmth of the sun as it glistened in an azure summer sky. Puffy white clouds one could bounce on. The cool rush of the ocean teasing her toes as she lay on the warm, sugary sand. The moment the image began to soothe her, Tanner crashed through the door, slamming it against the wall so loudly that it caused her to jump.
His eyes were bulging, and sweat was beaded on his forehead and above his lip. He walked toward the king-size bed, where she sat like a little girl waiting to be punished. She looked down, as she couldn’t look at him when he was like this. With his index finger, he jabbed beneath her chin, forcing her to look up at him.
“Is Holden all right or did you have to call 911?” she asked.
“He’s feeling a little better and will be okay,” Tanner replied. “I need an answer, Molly. Okay? I want a clear, concise answer from you. Do you understand?”
She nodded that she did.
“What?” he shouted. “Did you not hear what I just said?”
“Yes,” she replied in a soft tone. “I couldn’t help but hear you, Tanner.” She wanted to add that Kristen, even with her earbuds playing loud music, probably heard him as well.
“Are you trying to be cute with me, Molly?” he asked, his voice hardened, dripping with sarcasm.
“No,” she said. After almost twenty years of marriage, she knew that the less she said, the better it would be for her. How pathetic was that? she thought. If she were a very good girl, she would only be punished a little bit. But if she were bad, even just a little bit, she knew what would happen. And it was never pretty, though to Tanner’s credit, he hadn’t actually hurt her in a very long time. Bastard.
Tanner stormed across the room, then back to the edge of the bed. “Do you realize what your lack of parental skills cost me tonight?” He leaned so close, the sweat from his upper lip dripped onto the tip of her nose.
“No, Tanner, but please tell me. I know you want to.” If he planned to knock her around, she might as well make it worthwhile. She looked into his eyes. All she saw were two cold balls of steel-blue ice. Whatever humanity had ever existed in him before was nowhere to be found now.
He took a deep breath, then stepped away from where she sat on the bed. Molly gave up a silent thank-you as she watched him pace their room. He raked his perfectly formed fingers through his hair, a sign, she knew, that he was thinking. The thought had no more skirted around in her brain than, before she knew it, he was standing in front of her with his right hand raised above his shoulder. Before she could beg him not to, and for the second time that night, he backhanded her hard on the same cheek that still stung from the previous blow.
“Tanner,” she cried out in a whisper, placing her hand on her burning cheek. “Stop it! Kristen can hear us.” She hated using her daughter like this, but it had worked in the past. Tanner adored Kristen—most of the time, as long as she did as she was told. Sadly, the adoration was not reciprocated, not in the least. Tonight Molly had learned just how much her daughter loathed her own father.
“I don’t give a good rat’s ass who hears me! You got that, woman?” he sneered at her.
She hated it when he spoke to her this way as she knew what was coming next. He rarely deviated from his established pattern.
Molly nodded because she knew he expected her to. Just one more time, she thought to herself. One. More. Time.
“If I hadn’t taken you away from Lou’s, that shit-hole diner you loved so much, you’d still be slinging hash to us Harvardians. You’re stupid, Molly. You know that, right?” He stopped criticizing her as he waited for her to answer.
She nodded.
“I can’t hear you, Molly. What was that?” he persisted.
“I’m stupid,” she whispered. Tea
rs filled her eyes, and she tried her best not to let them fall, but they did anyway. She hated weakness of any kind. And right now, she hated herself for being too cowardly to stand up to Tanner. She told herself it was better this way. The kids were home. Tanner’s abusiveness usually took a backseat when Kristen and the twins were around. Briefly, she wondered what recent event had caused him to change his habits.
“Say it like you mean it,” he ordered, only this time he placed his hand on the lower half of her face and yanked her head upward so that she had no choice but to look at him standing in front of her.
Her mind was all over the place. Her past. Her present. Her future. Was this it? A life no better than the one she’d left behind so many years ago. The only difference this time around was that she had every material item a woman could want. A beautiful home. A daughter who was not only beautiful but smart and kind. She had designer clothes, purses that cost more than some people made in a month. Shoes that reeked of money. Shoes she rarely wore. A home that was envied by many. Things didn’t matter to her, they never had. Had she simply traded one nightmare for another?
Another sharp slap to her face brought her back to her harsh reality.
Tears fell freely now, and she didn’t care. She just wanted this to be over with. She prayed that just this once Kristen had her iPod’s volume turned to the highest setting possible. To be caught by her daughter would be humiliating. She would never forgive herself. So with that thought in mind, she used the hem of her black dress to wipe her eyes; not caring that the dress cost four thousand dollars, she hiked it up even farther so she could blow her nose.
Tanner had released his grip when he slapped her. Now, he reached behind her and grabbed a fistful of hair, yanking her head back so hard she thought her neck would snap. “I can do this all night, Molly.” He said her name as though it were filth. “The question is, can you?”
No Safe Secret Page 9