by Lily Freeman
“Was she a good mother back then?”
PJ had to really think about that, dig deep to find the fleeting memories of feeling loved and cherished by either of her parents. She had for a time, even had photos to prove it, but it was so long ago that all of them had faded.
“I’m not sure, I was just a kid. What about yours?”
The beautifully strong man in front of her looked impossibly young before he smiled yet there was no warmth in it.
“No. My father died when I was eleven, had a heart attack. Nicole was eight and Juliette was six. They needed her, we all did, but apparently that wasn’t enough motivation to come out of her room and sober up.”
Finding his hand, PJ linked her fingers through his while he glanced around the room before returning to her.
“It’s not an excuse, PJ, but it made me who I am. I grew up in a house with one woman who was so manipulative and dishonest and two more who were so sweet and innocent. I did everything I could for them, gave them all the attention I could and kept them safe, but I was only a kid. By the time I was fifteen, she had me out buying her gin and I did it, just to keep her the fuck away from us. I hated her, still do. When I moved out, I had so much anger stored up, eight years of it and I needed a release.”
Oh God, he was Christian Grey!
Luke must have seen the horror on her face because he smiled, sort of.
“It’s not a mother thing, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
It sounded exactly like a mother thing.
“It’s a control thing. I had none of it growing up except over my sisters. They did everything I ever asked them, so I rewarded them with what I could. My mother was the complete opposite. She lied, cheated, stole and every time she did, something inside me died. I left that house a very cold man. The only joy I ever found was in watching Nicole and Juliette grow up and knowing that she hadn’t poisoned them.”
PJ was speechless; stunned that he’d revealed so much, even more so that she could understand him because of it.
“I’m a very black and white man. I’ve had to be. Women for me have always fitted into two categories. Women like my mother who want something from me, and women like you, who don’t. My needs, shall we say, have only ever been fulfilled by the women who come to me seeking something. It’s as though as soon as they do that, a part of me just shuts down. I can do whatever I want, whatever they want because I’ll never let that type of woman get close to me.”
There was a sadness in Luke’s tone that left PJ aching. He’d shut himself off, locked his heart away so he didn’t get hurt but he was hurting now, she could feel it as he gripped her hand tight.
“How long since you’ve let anyone really get to know you?”
For her it had been never. The distance and the time away from New Zealand had given PJ the chance to really examine a few things about her old life, which was something she couldn’t have done while she was still in it. As much as she hadn’t really been alone, she hadn’t actually allowed anyone close either, not as close as she felt to Luke right now.
“A very, very long time, but back then I didn’t know what I was, so I fucked it up and broke her heart.”
A selection of small hand painted bowls were placed on the table in front of them. PJ glanced up to find Lucy and a much younger version of the woman in front of her. Delicious, rich smells wafted around them, cinnamon and chocolate, orange and ginger, vanilla.
“Why me?” It was such a simple question, but after what PJ had just heard, his answer was incredibly important to her.
“You, my, Darling, are something that I’ve never found before. You’re honest and affectionate. From the moment I met you, every little response you gave me was so real. You weren’t trying to manipulate me, you weren’t demanding more than I wanted to give you. You simply took what I offered and made it into something beautiful. I didn’t want to hurt you, didn’t need to see you cry or hear you beg, although I loved it when you did. I just wanted to hold you and talk, get to know you better and to see you smile.”
And she’d destroyed that for him by running away. PJ’s guilt had her leaning forward to kiss him as he smiled at her. “I’m smiling now.”
“Hmm, I can taste it, but if you close your eyes and open your mouth, I’ll let you taste something else.”
With a quick glance around, PJ took in all the other customers. They were somewhat secluded in the corner, but not completely. When she looked back at Luke, she saw the wicked little gleam in his eyes a second before she closed hers. Gently a finger smeared her bottom lip before dipping inside. The rich taste of chocolate and orange exploded as she lapped at him. He pressed against her tongue, drawing her mouth open for a kiss that went so far beyond sexy, that when he pulled away she groaned, but only until his finger came back, teasing her lips apart again. The ease with which he took control of her was something she was seriously going to have to watch out for because she never even contemplated saying no and that was dangerous.
After at least ten minutes of torturing her with the mousse, Luke moved onto the best tiramisu PJ had ever tasted, but thankfully he used a spoon to feed her that one. The last remaining dish held a rich vanilla panna cotta with a toffee sauce and little biscuit sticks, all stacked up neatly in a pile. Picking one up, Luke coated it in the creamy dessert. She knew the drill now, her lips parting, only this time she kept her eyes open.
“You want this don’t you?”
The biscuit brushed her lips, hinting at the sweet vanilla taste, but that wasn’t what he was talking about.
“I do, but you need to tell me what you want from me, Luke.”
There was no hesitation in his answer. “I want everything you’re willing to give me and nothing more.”
“Really, that’s going to be enough for you?”
The biscuit was pressed between her lips in a very erotic manner that left her blushing, but not distracted.
“This,” he thrust gently, “is the only vanilla you’ll ever get from me, but just kissing you, PJ, was beyond words. All the things that other people take for granted, I’ve never experienced. Waking up with you, dancing, it was the first time I’ve allowed myself to do that and I want more of it. I want to walk the dog. I want to wash your hair. I want to do the groceries with you then cook dinner before I cuff you to the bed and drive you wild.”
He was already driving her wild. The gush of wetness that had just escaped her was mortifying, but every word he said was rapture, weaving the most sublime web around her heart. He was describing her dream relationship in vivid detail, casting her as the lead and him as the hero, and in that moment she believed him.
“Yes.”
Luke dropped his little torture stick. “What?”
Could she really do it, give her heart to the one man who was capable of shattering it? Was there even a choice anymore? No!
“I said yes. I want that too, with you.”
She was on his lap a second later, wrapped so fucking tight in his arms, she saw stars, beautiful blue ones just like his eyes.
“Don’t hurt me, Luke.”
“Never, Baby, never.”
PJ and Luke’s afternoon passed in a haze of endless kisses and another surprise. Luke, once again threatening the blindfold, had driven them to a suburban mall, then with the most adorable boyish blush, he’d taken her to a pet store. They’d spent a couple of hours wandering around, finding all the things Vader would need. He’d abandoned her in the knitwear section, but she’d found him again in the next aisle over with half a dozen leather leads in his hand. He bought them all, offering some sort of excuse about one being for his house, one for hers, the car, her handbag. She’d been enjoying him far too much to argue.
As they drove back across town, a light sheen of rain was starting to fall. PJ couldn’t think of anything she’d rather do than be shut away with the gorgeous man, who was all of a sudden looking at her nervously.
“So, are you going to take me home this time?”
<
br /> “That depends, are you going to behave?”
“Probably not.”
“In that case …” she left him hanging, but not for long, “turn left at the bridge, then second right under the arch.”
Without question he followed her directions, shooting her a strange look when they emerged in front of the pub.
“You live here?”
“Just keep going across the courtyard and park under that balcony by the warehouse.” The one beside the window where she could see Elliot watching.
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
When they stopped, she climbed out and met him at the boot. With her hands filled with bags, she wrestled with the door code while he waited patiently behind her.
“I’m intrigued, this is not what I expected.”
PJ just smiled at him as they headed up the hallway, past Mika and Elliot’s door, which she ignored and onto her own. Opening it, she stepped aside, allowing him to enter first. “What were you expecting?”
Chapter 17
Darkness and warmth greeted Luke as he stepped inside with PJ right behind him. The rustle of bags had him turning, a click, then the space in front of him appeared.
“Not … this.”
Seconds passed as his mind struggled to register what his eyes were seeing. The huge wall of windows, the Tower Bridge for fuck’s sake. He took a step then another. A gleaming chrome kitchen appeared under heavy wooden stairs then so much space, beautifully divided with sleek furniture and a gigantic wooden table. Moving into the lounge, he gazed up at the mezzanine floor sitting above it, the ceiling above that vanishing into a black void, then he saw the chains hanging in the corner.
Luke had lived in London for seventeen years. He recognized money, wasn’t short of it himself, however this screamed millions. She appeared beside him, and there was a definite nervous tension surrounding her. It struck him then, how little he knew about the new woman in his life.
“Do you like it?”
The flash of insecurity in her eyes had him reaching for her. “It’s incredible, Baby. Whoever designed this is a genius.”
Her little smile curled with a hint of amusement.
“What are you grinning at?”
“Oh nothing, just relishing the fact that you think I’m a genius.”
“You designed this?”
“I did.”
Now he was really intrigued. Beautiful, rich, intelligent, and so fucking sweet. Could she be any more enticing? He doubted it as he tugged her into his arms, kissing her everywhere he could reach. “Go on then, give me the tour.”
“Okay.”
She led him through the dining room and into a bathroom, next to that was a laundry then she took him past the windows, through the lounge and over to a stepped platform that sat in the corner of the room, looking right out over the river.
“This is my favorite place.”
She turned, clearly captivated by the view, just like he was captivated by her. The way the shadows caught her cheekbones, the gentle pout of her lips, he wanted it all.
“I like the chains.” With one hand he held her tight, drawing her back against his chest, with the other he captured her breast, rolling her nipple through the fine knit of her shirt.
“Oh no, don’t get any ideas, I … ahh,” he pinched her. “I have plans for those and they don’t involve me … ohh … and a whip.”
“You sure? What if I added a vibrator, warmed you up a bit first?”
“I’m warm enough thank you.”
She certainly was as she rocked back against his crotch, causing his breath to hitch at the contact.
“How did you find this place?”
With a little tug she caught his hands, pulling him down onto the cushions by her feet. “A car accident and a very nice man.”
“Pardon?” Half of him was instantly concerned, the other half was jealous that she had just referred to another man as ‘very nice’. It was such a foreign emotion to him, one he very rarely felt, which really shouldn’t have come as any great surprise because up until a week ago, he’d never considered anyone to be his. But he did now, more so every minute.
“When I arrived in London about six weeks ago, I found the most amazing old cab driver so I hired him for a week. He showed me around the city and on one of those trips, there was an accident up by the bridge. So we went for a walk instead and found this place. I fell in love instantly.”
“Is this what you did back home, property development?”
She laughed at that, spinning on her knees to face him.
“God, no, I worked as a garment technologist for a clothing company. I love architecture and interiors, but never got the chance to study it. This,” she gazed around, the wild hand gestures that had brought them together coming back in play, “I saw this when I was standing in the empty shell and somehow we made it happen.”
She looked so incredibly pleased with herself that he couldn’t help but tease. “It’s missing something.”
“What?” Her offended look was utterly adorable.
“A bedroom. I want to see where you sleep, where you spread those gorgeous thighs and pleasure yourself with your big pink—”
“Luke, stop!”
Her small hands were on his and it didn’t take much, a twist of his hips, a shift of his weight then she was beneath him, flat on her back as he pinned her down on the cushions, nudging his hips between her thighs.
“Stop what, this?” He kissed her, plunging his tongue between her lips and she surrendered instantly, taking him so deep that he filled her, fucking her mouth with the same hunger that had been driving him all day.
When she was lethargic with arousal he stopped, pulling her gently to her feet. “Bedroom. Show me.”
With a sexy little laugh, she jumped off the platform, her hips swaying as she walked across the lounge to the stairs. He followed behind because the sight in front of him was too exquisite to miss. When he reached the top, he was speechless. Her bedroom was a dream, just like her. Standing beside a massive four-poster bed that was perfect for restraints, she crooked a finger and beckoned him forward. All his fantasies slammed together as he stepped towards her like a hormonally ravaged teenager.
“Lie down and I’ll show you something amazing.”
“Oh I just bet you will.”
She picked up a small remote, plunging the room into darkness with one small click of a button. With another, a thousand tiny stars appeared in the solid wooden canopy above them. Luke was utterly delighted. “That’s gorgeous, Baby.”
The softness of her hair brushed his shoulder as she lay down beside him, her arm tentatively sliding across his chest.
“Have you ever slept under the stars, Luke?”
“I have, but nothing would please me more than sleeping under them with you.”
Her lips were so soft as she kissed him, he wanted it to go on forever, but it didn’t because his phone rang. After one final brush of her lips across his, she sat up, turned on the lights and then wandered back downstairs, giving him some privacy while he took the call.
“Luke! Fuck, where have you been? Alisha’s been trying to call you all day.”
Alisha, Luke’s secretary, may well have been, but he’d switched his phone off just before he’d picked PJ up, only turning it back on a few minutes ago. He was well aware of the risk he was taking by putting his private life above his professional one, but there was simply no other way. This felt crucial to him, pivotal.
“Sorry, Thomas, something came up. It’s under control now.”
“Good because Kaiser fucking isn’t. He’s threatening to post everything he has on the Internet if Anthony doesn’t back off with the threats.”
“There’s a restraining order on Anthony. I filed it last week and gag order on Leon. He knows he can’t talk. If he does and he’s wrong, I won’t be able to get him out of prison this side of Christmas. Does he not understand that?” Regardless of Luke’s best effo
rts, the blinding pressure that he’d finally managed to relieve came rushing back, full force right behind his eyes.
“That’s not the worst of it Luke. Gerard Taylor emailed this morning. He knows enough to cause trouble and I’m talking the international media kind. We have to shut this down and you need to get that court date set.”
Luke couldn’t breathe, the anxiety rioting through him was so potent, he simply had no control over it. “I’m doing everything I can.” Was he though? He might be able to lie to his partner, but he couldn’t lie to himself. He’d never given less than a hundred percent to a case and this one demanded so much more. It could quite possibly be the pinnacle of his career, yet it paled into the background compared to PJ.
“I hope so, Luke. The shit’s going to hit the fan very, very soon and if we don’t have things firmly back under control, it’ll cripple us. You know that don’t you?”
Yes he did, but acknowledging it wasn’t going to help anyone.
“Do what you need to, Thomas and I’ll do the rest. We have a briefing at eight on Monday morning, and don’t worry about Taylor, I’ll take care of him.”
It was several minutes before Luke felt calm enough to head back downstairs. He had his stress levels back under control, outwardly anyway and that’s what was important. The last thing he wanted was for PJ to feel anxious or uneasy around him.
He found her standing in the kitchen, staring into the fridge. It was two steps to have her in his arms and the effect was instant. Luke could breathe again, but only until he kissed her. He’d never experienced the feeling of having someone to lean on when things got tough, and if this was it, the sublime sense of tranquillity settling over his body, he was never going to let her go.
“I missed you.”
“What? For that whole five minutes?”
She had no idea and at this point, that was definitely a good thing. “Uh huh.”
“Well, I’m not going anywhere now so you can relax.”
With a smile, she selected a bottle of wine before untangling herself from his arms.
“Would you like a glass?”