by Lily Freeman
Luke was struggling to focus on the scenery around him, the people, the buildings, but mostly he was struggling to remain calm. PJ was living alone in a building with two fucking men. Gay apparently, she’d seen them kiss when she’d stayed the night on their God damn couch. He knew he was being irrational, overreacting, but while he’d been crushed under the weight of self-doubt, wondering why she’d just up and left him, she’d been getting cosy with them.
“Did you hear me, Luke?”
Fuck. “Sorry, I was a million miles away.” Luke had recognized the big Russian bastard, had met him somewhere before. He wasn’t the kind of man one forgot with his imposing height, that odd combination of olive skin, black hair and those cold grey eyes.
“Is something bothering you?”
She honestly had no idea of the effect she had on him and he was glad about that. The last thing he needed so early in their relationship was to come across as a possessive wanker, but fuck, they were so close to her and her to them. The whole situation left him feeling helpless somehow, which was not an emotion he had any experience dealing with, add that to all the other shit that was currently happening in his life and it might have explained his reaction. He was wound tighter than a fucking spring and there wasn’t a single thing he could do about it, not anymore.
“No, I’ve just got some work issues I’ve been putting off for the last few days that I need to sort out.” It wasn’t a total lie. He desperately needed to focus on his case, especially now with his least favorite journalist sniffing around and their client being so unstable. If those two factors came together—Luke shuddered, squeezing PJ’s hand far too hard before he let go. First thing Wednesday, he was heading back to Frankfurt, which gave him a day to throw Taylor off or give him enough information to stop him digging any further.
PJ had steered them off the footpath and was standing very still beside him, staring at his hand.
“Is it my fault, because you’ve been looking after me?”
“Ah, no.” Gently he captured her face, his thumbs stroking, his fingers too. And that was all it took for his worries to dissipate. What he felt as he gazed down at her, knowing that she was finally his was fucking incredible, so much so that it didn’t seem real. Perhaps that was the problem? If he couldn’t see her, he fell straight back into the misery that had consumed him in those long painful days after she’d ran away. Would she feel the same? Would she forget him and what they’d shared together if he wasn’t around? No, he simply couldn’t let that kind of doubt take hold.
“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, PJ, you must know that by now. I just need to clean up the mess I left behind when I found you again, that’s all.”
She didn’t look convinced. “Is there anything I can do?”
Stay the fuck away from your neighbors! Where that notion had come from, Luke wasn’t sure, but the one thing he did know from having a career where he had to think fast and talk even faster, was that if it was the first thought to come to mind, it was a problem. The last thing he needed was to be obsessing over something he couldn’t control, like her home. He couldn’t ask her to stay away from them and why would she? They were gay for fuck’s sake, not a threat to either of them. Threading his fingers gently into her hair, he tilted her face before he kissed her, loving the way she stood up on her tiptoes, seeking more. “Just be mine, that’s all I need.”
“I am, I’m all yours.”
Was she, really? Fuck he hoped so because for the first time in his life, Luke could see himself happy, and that was something he’d fight for.
PJ was still thinking about Luke when she headed home after a very relaxing lunch at a pub they’d discovered down by the Thames. The man she’d come to adore over the last few days had disappeared by the time he had left to go into work. Even his posture had been rigid, held perfectly in check, and he’d gone quiet. He’d still been attentive, watching her every move and touching her constantly, but the conversation had definitely become one sided. It worried her that he’d shut down when he clearly needed someone to talk to, someone to listen. It was what he’d asked of her this morning in the bath, and he’d said how important it was for them, yet at the first hurdle, he’d instantly pulled away. Perhaps it was his lack of experience with relationships that had held him back, and she could understand, but she wanted to be that person for him, like he had been for her.
Totally distracted by her thoughts, PJ pushed the door open only to come to an abrupt halt. Elliot was standing in the middle of the hallway, his gaze piercing as it raked over her from head to toe.
“Did you have a nice day, with your boyfriend, PJ?”
With a facial transformation that was downright unnerving, he went from an unreadable mask of calm to an almost smile.
“Yes thank you, I did.”
Elliot took a step closer as an awkward silence stretched out, seconds banding together while he continued to stand in her way. It was the garage scene all over again, with Elliot demanding answers to questions that were none of his God damn business. She wasn’t interested today either.
“Okay, well it was nice to see you, Elliot.” PJ sidestepped, getting about halfway past him before his arm shot out.
“How did you two meet?”
Elliot was standing so close to her, she could feel his breath ruffling through her hair as he spoke, his dark spicy scent drifting around her.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You and Luke, how did you meet?”
Any chance Elliot had of continuing their conversation went right out the window because there was no way PJ was going to tell him the truth, but she had to say something. “We met in a bar. I spilt a drink over him.” Then he chained me to a bed, and spanked my ass before he orgasmed me to death.
Elliot frowned and it was fearsome. He was just too much man.
“So you don’t know much about him then?”
Again, it was none of his business and she was tempted to tell him, but the idea of Elliot judging any aspect of her relationship with Luke made her angry. He’d been such an arrogant bastard earlier in the hallway. It was obvious he had a problem, she just didn’t care enough to ask what it was. “I know enough to know that I’d like to learn more.”
“PJ?”
Something about the way he said her name had her glancing up to see his cold, hostile expression softening, which made her instantly nervous. “Yes.”
“You’ll come to us, Mika and … I, if you need anything, won’t you?”
What? Where the hell had that come from? He sounded like he—cared.
“Ummm, yes.”
“If he—if anything …” Elliot had done it before, when she was lying on the floor at the clinic. He’d raised his hand like he was about to touch her and then thought better of it yet this time as they both watched, he didn’t stop. His fingers gently stroked her cheek, catching a rebellious curl before he tucked it behind her ear. PJ could barely breathe she was so confused, overwhelmed by the man and his conflicting comments and gestures.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Elliot.”
He wasn’t done, his lips parting for another no doubt awkward question. Before he had a chance she ducked around him, heading for her door.
“Good night.”
Chapter 20
‘He did what with the vb8tr?’
‘Vb8tr,’ PJ was tempted to ask whether she was still texting her twenty-eight year old friend or some random fifteen year old on the street. Mind you, she had started the smutty conversation, not intentionally, but after Indy had interrogated her about Luke: his body, his skills in the bedroom; things had deteriorated slightly.
‘He strapped it over my clit, turned it on and then f#cked me senseless.’
As if she needed another reminder, something unnervingly deep inside her throbbed, then again she was tender, probably would be for days. Every time she closed her eyes or thought of Luke she could feel it; the weight of him on top of her, his thighs rocking, his hands
cupping her breasts, squeezing. He’d taken over her body with such ease, masterfully turning her fears against her.
‘And …’
And what? There wasn’t really much more to say. PJ had spent an amazing night with an amazing man. He’d been sweet and sexy, dominant and wicked, everything she could have dreamed of.
‘That’s it.’ Her phone rang straight away. She picked it up, smiling, although it wouldn’t last. “Yes, India.”
“Did he hurt you?”
Had he? There’d been that one moment when he’d thrust inside her for the first time, forcing her body to accept his; and she had, eventually. That had hurt, but it hadn’t been his fault. “No, he didn’t. He was incredible.”
“So normal was enough for him then?”
The underlying concern in Indy’s comment was obvious and PJ appreciated it, but she also didn’t want her friend to worry. “We’ve talked, Indy, about everything. I know what he wants and he knows what I’m willing to give him—”
“And you trust him, even though you barely know him?”
It wasn’t anger that had PJ’s hand flexing around the phone, but it was close.
“He’s done nothing for me not to trust him. I might not know him, Indy, but he doesn’t know me either, yet he went out of his way to sort out the mess at the club, and then again to take care of me after Vader’s stroke when he didn’t have to. I was a fucking mess that night and he was so considerate, so yeah, I do trust him.”
Background noise filtered down the line, the subway, a random burst of laughter before India responded. “So he really didn’t try anything dodgy?”
“No, he was just perfect.”
“Hmm, well I guess only time will tell, but you promise if he goes crazy on you, you will tell me.”
First Elliot and now Indy, everyone was lining up to see Luke fail. All she needed was—the quiet knock at the door had PJ turning, walking back across the lounge. It could only be one of two people, and with the conversation she’d had with Elliot last night still playing on her mind, she really hoped it wasn’t him.
“Yes, I promise. Now I’ve gotta go. There’s someone at the door.”
“You’re coming tonight though, aren’t you, with Luke?”
When he’d asked her yesterday if she’d go back to the club with him, PJ had been hesitant and she didn’t really know why. The first time she’d been there with Adam had been nerve wracking to say the least, but amazing. The second time with Luke had been mind-blowing, however the fear she’d felt at the end, the unholy sense of panic, she just couldn’t seem to shake. She needed to though because the club was a major part of Luke’s life. He may have intended to walk away, but several remarks he’d made last night in the throws of passion, so to speak, would indicate otherwise.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Alright. We’ll talk then.”
Hanging up, PJ pulled the door open to find Mika, all whiskey eyes, gorgeous hair and coffee. It was instant love all over again.
“Ciao, Bella.” He didn’t ask, just shuffled past with a kiss to her cheek, heading straight for the couch. Accepting his very thoughtful gift, she followed behind, taking a seat.
“How are you, Mika?”
He flashed her a smile that was so devastatingly sexy, it took a moment to catch her breath.
“I’m well, and you? How are things with Luke?”
Oh he was cunning, but she was on to him—them. “Did Elliot send you over?”
“He’s worried about you, that’s all. Your new friend reminds him of someone he used to know.”
Catching her hand, Mika threaded his fingers through hers in a gesture that was extremely intimate for two people who barely knew each other, yet she didn’t feel awkward. For some reason she felt like she’d known him forever.
“I’m fine, really.”
Mika played, his thumb drawing little circles over her wrist while he watched her. Was he about to do it too? Overstep the somewhat distorted boundaries of their new friendship, not that she considered the weird vibe between her and Elliot to be friendship, but Mika had the same uneasy look on his face.
“Good. Now, what are you doing today? I need a woman and you’re it.”
Or maybe not. “Pardon?”
“I need to find a gorgeous man the perfect Christmas present.”
“Oh.” She could relate to that.
An hour later they were in Regent Street completely surrounded by jostling crowds and strung out pedestrians. It could have been growing up in a small rural town in a country at the bottom of the world, but the sheer volume of people made PJ anxious, so when Mika took her hand, she held on for dear life. He led her down a side street and into a shop with some of the most exquisite jewellery she’d ever seen. Mika left her with the shop assistant while he headed over to look at watches. By the time she felt him move up beside her, she’d narrowed her choice down to two.
“What about this, Mika?” PJ attempted to lean back to allow him to see the stunning silver and diamond tiepin, but something, or more precisely someone stopped her. One darkly tanned arm appeared on each side of her before Mika’s hands landed on the counter, his chest pressing gently against her back. In their morning together, she had learned several things about Mika. Not only was he charming, he was an outrageous flirt who apparently had no qualms about physical contact. He was also extremely quick witted, chivalrous to a fault and one of the nicest men she’d ever met.
“It’s stunning, Tesorino, he’ll love it.”
The way Mika whispered that word against PJ’s cheek had her sucking in a breath. It was so beautiful, not just the way he said it, but the way the letters fell like they meant something more. “What does that word mean?” Before he could answer, she spun around.
“It’s like Sweetheart.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet, so what does Dolcezza mean?” If she hadn’t been right in front of him, she would have missed the slight flush in Mika’s cheeks.
“It’s … also like Sweetheart—Tesorino, just for a man.”
When she grinned he nudged her, poking his fingers into her ribs until she giggled.
“Hey, I’m Italian, charm is what we do.”
God, he was gorgeous, so relaxed and easy to be around. She’d never met anyone quite like him, but it was Elliot she found herself thinking about because the more she got to know his partner, the more she was baffled by the man.
“Where did you meet Elliot?” While she waited for Mika to answer, her phone beeped with a text from Luke.
‘Do you trust me, Baby?’
She quickly sent one back, knowing exactly what his next text would say.
‘Will you trust me, just a little bit more?’
Again she answered with one word before she glanced up. “Sorry, I won’t be a sec.” Mika just winked, not even attempting to hide the fact that he was reading her messages.
‘I have a surprise for you tonight at the club.’
That text made her breath catch. She answered quickly then turned back to Mika. “Right, where were we?”
He tickled her, just once. “We met at Oxford, had some mutual friends. One night after a lot of alcohol on my behalf, I finally got up the courage to introduce myself and that was it, I was his and he was mine.”
Mika didn’t need to say it, she could tell by the way his gaze got dreamy and heavy lidded that he worshipped the ground Elliot walked on. It was mutual too; she’d caught her big, silent neighbor staring at his lover. It was one of the few times that Elliot hadn’t intimidated her because he’d been so happy.
“So how long have you been together?”
With a grin that was far too sexy for words he took her hand, hooking his fingers around hers.
“Seven years.” When the shop assistant appeared with Luke’s tiepin beautifully wrapped, Mika took it and dropped it into PJ’s handbag. “It was just the two of us until you came along.”
Mika was still smiling, but there was an edge to it now, like he was waiti
ng for her reaction to that slightly cryptic remark and she had one. “Elliot didn’t want to sell the warehouse to me, did he?”
PJ had never seen the serious side of Mika, not like she was now and it worried her. She’d suspected he was the deciding factor behind her new home. He’d made it clear right from the very first meeting that he considered her the perfect candidate to share their building, but she’d assumed he was referring to her lack of baggage and accessible funds, not her compatibility with him and his partner.
“That’s not true. He has no issues with you. It’s just that building was the only physical thing his father left him when he died and it’s become more than a home to him. He didn’t want to lose that by having the wrong person living in it.”
If that explanation was meant to make her feel better, it didn’t, but at least she now understood why he resented her. “Ironic really, isn’t it? I’ve become everything he dreaded.”
At some point Mika had ushered them out the door and onto the street. With that comment he stopped, tugging her into his arms.
“You have not. He just takes a little getting used to. He needs time, but if you give it to him, I promise you won’t regret it, PJ. He’s the most amazing man.”
She doubted that, but for Mika’s sake she kept her mouth shut.
With both of them subtly moving on to less complicated subjects, their afternoon passed easily, too easily. Mika took her out for lunch and then they continued to shop, drinking far too much coffee in the process. By the time they arrived home she was exhausted, so she headed straight for the bath, hoping that a nice long soak would ease her mounting nerves. It didn’t, if anything it gave her more time to think; about Luke and Adam, Mika and Elliot, Vader, the fact that she still needed to invest her money, email Sam, and Alice too. The list was growing, her time was up. Now that the warehouse was finished and Vader was healing, she needed to sort out her life. The last six weeks had been crazy, a ride like no other, but if she was going to function like a normal person, she needed a routine and interests.
Climbing out of the bath, PJ made a list while keeping a watchful eye on the time. She had forty-five minutes to get dressed, get pretty, and haul her steadily growing nerves back under control. Luke was a nice man, that’s what she told herself as she wandered back past the bed with the leads still attached; a sexy man. Heat started to bloom between her thighs and on her cheeks. He was also a wicked man, one with a surprise that she really hoped she’d get to enjoy, not endure.