Virtue & Vanity

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Virtue & Vanity Page 22

by Astrid Jane Ray


  “Nothing, I... I was just wondering if you were alright. You look like you might need some rest.” I spoke in a calm voice, but I was shaken to my core

  “What would I rest from? I don’t work anymore, remember?” she spoke in an angry tone.

  “I’m sorry about that, Teresa. I swear I didn’t mean to get you fired. I tried to talk to Sebastian, but he—”

  “He doesn’t love you, you know. He will never love you. But that doesn’t concern you at all, doesn’t it? Because all you want is his money. You mean nothing to him. Nothing!” She spat out her insults and laughed wickedly.

  Despite the fact that I knew she wasn’t in her right mind, her words hit me right where it hurt because she made an excellent point. There wasn’t even a shred of love between Sebastian and me, and the soil it could have grown on had been destroyed right at the beginning of our marriage.

  “Teresa, please,” I spoke softly. “I think you should leave.” I tried to reason with her.

  “I’m not going anywhere. Not until you pay for what you’ve done to me!” She looked at me with her dark eyes.

  “I didn’t mean to do anything to you. I told you I was sorry.” My voice wasn’t calm anymore.

  She didn’t reply. Her hand slid in her pocket and she pulled out a knife with a long sharp blade. My eyes widened in horror. She had gone completely mad and I was trapped in the most remote part of the garden where no one would see me or hear my screams. I got up and started moving away from her, because I had no idea what she would do.

  “Sorry doesn’t cut it. You got me fired. You took everything away from me and now I’m going to teach you a lesson and show you how much it hurts!” she said enraged, pointing the knife at me.

  I didn’t know what to do. Fighting her wasn’t an option and I didn’t dare to run because I feared she would catch up with me and stab me in the back. I lifted up my hands in a pathetic attempt to defend myself against her attack.

  “Teresa, please. You don’t have to do this. If you hurt me, they will know you were the one who did it. You will go to jail for a long time.” I fought to get her out of the delirium she was trapped in.

  “Do you honestly think I care about that?” She laughed, showing me the enjoyment of terrorizing me overpowered her common sense.

  “Please, just leave now. I won’t tell anybody. I p-promise.” My voice shook and I was fully prepared to fight her.

  My heart pounded and terror twisted my stomach as I observed the sharp blade. She looked at me like I was her prey. Like she wanted to destroy me. Knowing she would swing that knife at me in a matter of moments, I decided to take my chances and started running away from her. She seemed to be all too pleased that I gave her a chance to chase me, and though I tried to run as fast as I could, her rage enabled her to catch me. A frightening scene straight out of a horror movie played out right in front of me as she sat on my stomach trying to aim the knife straight towards my heart. I firmly grabbed her hand and the only thing I could think about was that I couldn’t let go of it no matter what. I used all of my strength to finally get her off of me and I started running. She followed immediately and once again she had almost caught up with me, but in the last moment she slipped on the wet grass and fell to the ground. This was my one and only chance to escape from her. My whole body shook as I ran and screamed for help from the top of my lungs.

  Just as the last traces of my energy were about to give way, I saw him in the distance and a strange feeling of safety streamed over my weak body, like he was my hero, and not a villain who had shattered my heart. For the first time ever, I was thrilled to see Sebastian and I ran straight towards him, almost passing out into his arms while seeking his protection.

  “Easy, easy,” he whispered and held me by the shoulders to stop me from falling to the ground.

  With surprising caution, he wrapped his arms around me and gazed at me confused, when he didn’t have to pull me into his embrace. For the first time, I was the one who came closer, craving his solace and protection. He seemed to be stunned by my reaction to him, but then again, so was I.

  “Isabelle?” He tilted up my chin and looked at me in confusion. “What’s wrong? Why were you screaming?” He seemed worried, but I was still so shocked by my near death experience that I couldn’t say a word. I just looked at him, too frightened to speak. “Isabelle!” He shook me to startle me from my trance. Then his eyes narrowed as he saw something that took him by surprise. “What the...” I heard him say in a rough voice and I turned around and noticed Teresa was limping towards us. The knife was still in her hand.

  “Isabelle, look at me!” His assertive voice caught my attention and I gaped at him in wonder and fright. “You have to calm down. I won’t let anything happen to you. Breathe!” His eyes kept turning towards Teresa who was getting closer and closer and I could tell he was getting upset even though he tried to keep the impression of patience. His eyes widened while he spoke to me, still trying to get me to react. “Listen to me. You’ll be fine. Go inside and call the police. No matter what, don’t come back here. Do you understand?”

  As he gazed at me expectantly, I could feel the pressure that rushed through him and the moment I nodded, he let go of me and started running towards Teresa. I wanted to run as well, but I was still paralyzed from fear and I needed a few seconds to calm down. Completely helpless, I watched as he approached her and tried to get her to give him the knife.

  “Drop the knife!” I heard him yell at her authoritatively, but she wasn’t intimidated by him.

  She started crying and I heard her whisper something to him, but I couldn’t understand what. Sebastian dismissed whatever she told him, called her crazy and grabbed her hand, ordering her once again to drop the knife. In a rush of adrenaline, I finally gained enough strength and ran towards the house.

  “Anne! Anne!” I yelled her name when I noticed she was standing by the entrance.

  “Isabelle, what happened? Why are you yelling?” She asked in surprise, but then lowered her voice. “Sebastian is working from home today. You should keep it down.” Apparently, I wasn’t the only person in that house who feared him.

  “Anne, T-Teresa...” I tried to fight my panic and get the words out. “Teresa attack... attacked me with a knife.”

  “What? Are you alright?” Her face went pale and she started breathing nervously. “We have to tell Sebastian.”

  “No, Sebastian is with her in the garden. We have to call the police.”

  Anne had already started walking, but stopped when she realized I still hadn’t told her everything.

  She was beside herself, looking around for a few seconds until she managed to calm down and look at me again. “Isabelle, go upstairs. It’s not safe for you to be here.”

  “But, I-I need to c-call...” I let out a gasp because it was getting harder and harder for me to speak.

  “I’ll call the police. You are in no state to talk to anybody.” Anne decided as she hurried to the phone and when she saw that I was still frozen in the same spot, she did what she had never done before. “Go!” She raised her voice at me and I finally did as I was told.

  ***

  I went back to the room, feeling both exhausted and terrified after everything I went through that day. The first thing I did was walk to the window. Filled with anxiety, I waited to see what would happen. With everything in me, I feared that the police wouldn’t arrive in time. The worry was eating me alive, but to my absolute relief, their car pulled up in the driveway shortly after. Two policemen ran towards the house and I remained waiting next to the window, but for so many long minutes nothing happened. Then, just as I was getting ready to dismiss Anne’s warning and go back downstairs, I saw the police officers taking Teresa towards the car. Sebastian walked behind them and his rage was apparent as he threw insults at her. Teresa turned around and I could see she was handcuffed. Not a single word crossed her lips as she gazed at him with a sad, broken expression on her face. There were tears in her eyes and I
couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Still, her actions were horrific and she deserved to be punished for them. I watched as the police car sped off out of the driveway, but I wasn’t rewarded with the feeling of relief. If anything, when the police left and Sebastian looked towards the window where I was standing, the suffocating feeling of worry rushed right back to me as our eyes met, because I had no idea what he was thinking or how he felt after what happened in the garden.

  ***

  Instead of going downstairs, like they probably expected me to, I headed for the shower because I wanted nothing more than to wash away the dirt that had clenched onto my body when I was fighting Teresa, and forget about the fact that I could have been killed. However, forgetting something like that was anything but easy. As I showered, I couldn’t stop glancing towards the door. I still felt threatened by her and I kept thinking that she might come back.

  Still in a daze, I left the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around me and when I saw Sebastian standing in the room, I froze, realizing what a terrible idea it had been. Instinctively, I pressed the towel against my body as hard as I could and his lips curved into a light smile when he saw me do that. I’d felt protected in his arms after Teresa had attacked me. There was no fear, only the warmth and the solace of his embrace. Now that we were alone in the room, I was vulnerable again. His eyes roamed the length of my body, making me feel terribly nervous and exposed. I realized that the reaction I had when I saw him in the garden didn’t change anything. The attention he paid to me was still very unwanted, still unpleasant. I just wanted him to look away and...he did.

  “Teresa is gone.” He looked down and then said softly. ”I’m sorry about what happened.”

  Stunned by his unexpected words, I finally managed to say something. “It... It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered.

  He came closer and I flinched away from him. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, not after what had just happened, but subconsciously I was still frightened of what he might do to me—and knowing that the only barrier that kept him from seeing me naked was a towel enhanced my fear. He seemed to be surprised by my reaction, like he hadn’t expected me to be afraid of him. Reluctantly, he stepped away from me and his eyes closed for a moment as if he wanted to hide whatever bothered him.

  When he opened them again, they looked straight into mine. “Are you okay?”

  I was disarmed by the way he looked at me, accentuating the words he had just spoken with traces of genuine concern.

  In the burning need to hide from his piercing stare, I looked down for a moment and that was when I noticed he had a cut on his arm. Teresa had cut him! A gasp of surprise left my body as anger and worry consumed me and I wondered why I suddenly felt empathy towards him. Anyone else in my situation would have been overjoyed to see him in pain, but I couldn’t bring myself to be that mean. The fact that Teresa had cut him because he was defending me didn’t leave me indifferent either. Of its own accord, my hand reached towards him and I gently ran my fingers around his injured flesh. Then I looked up at him, suddenly letting go of my gloomy thoughts.

  “I’m fine. But you—you are hurt. Why didn’t you let them take care of your cut?”

  While I addressed my concern, his eyes gazed at me with unusual warmth and the realization of my action hit me. Oh my God, I touched him! I quickly let go of his hand, acting as if I had been burned by the raging fire and he seemed to be amused by my reaction.

  Gradually, the loud beating of my heart rose all the way to my ears and as my self-consciousness started working against me, it was getting hard for me to breathe. While I tried to inhale harsh, nervous breaths, the redness of shame spread all over my face and he wouldn’t stop smiling. I gulped, once again clenching hard onto the towel and I noticed that the light in his eyes slowly subsided until it was gone and replaced by another emotion, far more earnest and darker than the one before.

  “It’s nothing, Isabelle. A little alcohol for disinfection and it will pass.” He sighed and interrupted me when I parted my lips to protest, though I was sure I still couldn’t speak. “Don’t worry about it. Get some rest; I have to get back to work.” He gently caressed my burning cheek and left the room. He knew how much his presence disturbed me.

  I remained standing at the same spot after he left, wondering about the inexplicable feeling of compassion he had managed to awake in me.

  ***

  Sebastian came to the bedroom quite late, but I still wasn’t asleep. I kept the lamp on the nightstand on, because images of Teresa holding a knife above me wouldn’t disappear. He approached me with caution, looking at me as though he knew I was still frightened of everything that had transpired. When he sat on the bed next to me, he looked away and I couldn’t help but mentally scowl at myself for feeling guilty because of what had happened to him.

  “Does it hurt?” I asked in a soft voice and now I felt guilty because I openly demonstrated my concern for him again.

  “No, it’s nothing. It will heal,” he reassured me as his eyes returned to me and his face settled into a boyish, almost innocent expression.

  Mysteriously, a strong desire to help him wouldn’t leave me alone and I wanted to nurture him like he had nurtured me when I was burning up with fever. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but he looked like he truly needed someone and I wasn’t made of stone. No matter how hard I tried to tell myself he didn’t deserve my empathy, I couldn’t bear to see him like that.

  “Can I help you take care of it?” I blushed and looked away because I wasn’t used to sharing any kind of closeness with him.

  A light smile curved his lips and he looked at me with that same disarming warmth glaring from his eyes. Curiosity about his behavior worried my mind with hundreds of questions. Where did the arrogant man, who’d humiliated me and hurt me without showing the slightest trace of mercy, disappear to? I didn’t know if his darkness lurked in the background, but I hoped he would manage to restrain it for the rest of the night.

  “You can rub some alcohol on it. It’s in the medicine cabinet. Just look for Isopropyl,” he said quietly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

  With a sudden need to create some distance between us, I quickly went to the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and looked for the label that said Isopropyl. When I managed to find it after long seconds of searching, I took a piece of cotton wool and composed myself before going back into the room. The first thing I noticed when I walked inside was Sebastian’s clothes, spread on the table across from the bed. I gulped as I turned to face him. His eyes were closed and I thought he had fallen asleep already. When I got into the bed, his eyes opened abruptly and he stretched his arm towards me, waiting for me to rub the alcohol on his wound. At first, I hesitated, but then I noticed the sign of approval in his green beaming eyes.

  Nevertheless, I was terribly nervous because I was about to consciously touch him for the first time ever. He had touched me so many times, but I had never dared to lay a finger on him. In fact, the thought had never occurred to me because of the terror I felt whenever he was around.

  Trying to pretend that I wasn’t fazed with what I was about to do, I applied some alcohol on the cotton wool and lifted up his arm. For some reason, I couldn’t make eye contact with him, so I looked away and my cheeks reddened with some kind of inexplicable shame like I was doing something that was wrong and forbidden. A cynical smile appeared on my lips for a short moment because I thought how absurd it was to feel so confused about touching the man who was my husband. When I pressed the cotton wool against his cut, he tensed. It had to have caused him pain and I knew for a fact that it burnt like hell, but he remained still and didn’t make a sound. Luckily, the wound wasn’t deep, so there was little chance of inflammation or infection, but it still looked quite painful to me. When I was almost done, he made me look at him and the blush on my cheeks deepened even more.

  “Thank you,” he whispered softly.

  “You’re welcome,” I said in one breath, gaping at him.
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br />   I realized I was still holding onto his hand, even though I wasn’t rubbing any alcohol on his cut, so I swiftly let go of it. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of me and it made me nervous. I felt exposed, like he could see right through me, like he could reach into my mind and see exactly what I was thinking.

  “There’s something I need to tell you.” He broke the awkward silence and I looked at him in anticipation. “I’m leaving on a business trip to Las Vegas tomorrow and I want you to join me.”

  I exhaled, my eyes widening in shock and he silently observed my reaction to his blunt demand.

  “But...Why?” I couldn’t shake off the scary feeling of mistrust.

  “There will be a fundraiser in the evening and I want my wife to accompany me. Why is that so weird?” he whispered his question, acting like it was perfectly normal for him to seek my company.

  “Because you have never wanted me to accompany you before,” I said and looked away from him.

  “But I want you to accompany me now.” His voice was decisive, letting me know he probably wouldn’t give me any choice in the matter.

  “I... I don’t want to go,” I said insecurely and he sighed, displeased by my defiance.

  “Do you mind telling me why?” he asked in his falsely composed voice.

  “I’m...” I closed my eyes, trying to hide my discomfort from him. “It’s just that I’m afraid of... f-flying.”

  It wasn’t a complete lie, I did feel uncomfortable in a plane and if I could get a chance to avoid flying, I would definitely take it, but there were other things that worried me a lot more than that—like being completely alone with him in an unfamiliar city where I didn’t know a living soul.

  “I’m pretty sure it’s something else you’re afraid of.” A contour of a smile twitched the edge of his lips as he gave me a knowing look but when he saw my fearful reaction, his teasing had subsided and he became serious. “You’re that scared of me, huh?” It was a rhetorical question, one he already knew the answer to. “Rest assured, Isabelle. There is nothing I could do to you in Las Vegas that I couldn’t do right here in this room.” I flinched and tried to move away from him but he gently held me by my arm to stop me. “Don’t. I made you a promise, so there is no reason for you to fear this trip. It’s just a fundraiser; no big deal.” His eyes looked straight into mine, but I still couldn’t determine if he was telling the truth.

 

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