“I have something for you,” she finally said in a controlled voice that hid her obvious thrill and she pulled a beautiful bouquet that consisted of simple, but breathtakingly beautiful red roses.
Unable to speak because I was taken aback by the sight in front of me, I remained gazing at Annette until I snapped out of my trance.
“You’ve bought me flowers?” I looked at her in surprise, while she shook her head at me, smiling in enigma.
“No, don’t worry.” She chuckled. “They have just been delivered and I have a good feeling about the identity of your secret admirer,” she said in a teasing voice while walking towards me.
In complete awe, I accepted the wonderful bundle of my favorite flowers and even though I knew who had sent them, I hesitated before reading the little card that was attached to the top of the bouquet. Instead, I closed my eyes, savoring the scent of alluring roses, and as my action evoked the image of Sebastian’s smiling face, my eyes tore open in surprise. I was daydreaming about this man. With obvious excitement, my hand reached for the note and I couldn’t help but smile when I read its touching content.
Sweet Isabelle,
Even when I’m miles away, somehow you still manage to
creep into my mind and keep me awake until the late hours of the night.
I secretly hope the roses will make you think of me,
like I think of you.
Greetings from the loneliest man in Paris
Shivering current rushed through my body when I read what was written on that card and my heart started beating in a fast rhythm while my cheeks blushed in the deepest shade of red, revealing my mesmerized state of mind.
“Are they from Sebastian?” Annette asked with excitement and curiosity.
“Yes, they are,” I whispered, still blushing from the overpowering reaction another one of his gestures evoked in me.
“They’re beautiful. I wish I had someone to buy me flowers.” Her voice was filled with longing.
I turned to look at her and something about her comment caught my attention, but I chose to dismiss it.
“I love roses. Especially the red ones,” I stated in a quiet voice.
“Me too.” She leaned over to inhale the scent that evaporated from the red petals.
“Another thing we have in common, then,” I commented with a slight smile as she stepped away.
For a moment she just stood there and then she started staring at me with a baffled look on her face. “Isabelle, I was wondering...” She hesitated to ask something delicate and I turned serious, already bracing myself to hear her uncomfortable question. “It’s just that, if your husband is so thoughtful then how come...” My nerves were getting the best of me and I thought the anticipation would kill me if she wouldn’t speak, but instead of saying what she wanted to say, she shrugged and regained her composure. “It doesn’t matter. Never mind.” She waved her hand and smiled, but I could tell she was still thinking about something that preoccupied her mind and I had an overwhelming feeling that that something was my marriage.
For a while, we remained silent, both of us trying to come up with something to say to break the awkwardness of the situation.
“Please, let me put them in the water for you.” Annette produced a shy smile and reached for the bouquet. I slowly handed it to her, still feeling weird about her sudden interest in Sebastian’s behavior towards me.
While she walked towards the vanity to get the ceramic vase and busied herself with creating a beautiful decoration, my mind was preoccupied with Sebastian’s warnings about Annette. Maybe I had judged her too easily. When she was done, she turned towards me with a light expression on her face and I sighed, scowling at myself for ever thinking this girl could have had bad intentions, but I just had to know.
“Annette, what did you want to ask me?” My voice was slow as I dragged out the question.
“Oh.” She exhaled in discomfort, making it obvious she hadn’t expected that I would insist on the matter. “Nothing. I...” She was stalling with her answer and it made me all the more suspicious, so I held my breath when she smiled and started talking. “I was just wondering how come he didn’t take you to Paris, but I’m sure he has a good reason,” she offered an explanation and her innocent answer had put my mind at ease.
I sighed with relief and smiled. I understood how she could wonder about that, but something told me there was more to it. Shaking off the bad thoughts, I head-strongly decided to ignore my intuition which always managed to make me doubt people’s intentions ever since my trust had been battered. In my mind, I kept repeating to myself that Annette was a kind person and someone who was becoming a friend. She wouldn’t betray me. Producing an inviting and light expression on my face, I smiled at her and it seemed to calm her down.
“Sebastian prefers I stay home while he travels on business. I’ve accompanied him once and it didn’t end too well,” I said, remembering our trip to Las Vegas and all the drama that went on there.
Annette chuckled. “Like I’ve said, I knew he had a good reason. It’s great to know that you’re always on his mind though.”
Her words made me wander off and for a moment and I was lost in deep thoughts. “Yes, it’s nice to know that,” I confirmed.
She sighed and took another short peek at the roses. “They truly are magnificent,” she whispered in awe and then looked at me with a spark of something I interpreted as a pinch of innocent jealousy. “Well, it’s getting late. I should get going. I have college tomorrow.” She yawned and now I was the one with a pinch of jealousy coming from my stare because I was reminded that she was leading the life I always dreamt of and while I was stuck on dreaming, she was busy with turning her plans into reality.
I brushed off the sad thoughts and swallowed a lump that was forming in my throat. “I understand. You should get your rest,” I said in a caring, soft voice.
“Thank you. You should go to sleep too. No offense, but you look really tired,” she teased me and it made me laugh.
I could only imagine the traces of exhaustion that were probably showing on my face after hours of writing. “None taken. I’m going to take a shower and call it a night,” I said in a sleepy voice.
Annette smiled and turned to leave, but then she stopped and turned back towards me with a slight blush on her face. “I’m sorry. I feel bad that I have to ask you this, but could I borrow a few books from the library? I need them for a project and I didn’t have enough time to get them myself. I hope it’s not inconvenient...”
“Annette!” She kept mumbling and I felt like I should stop her. “It’s okay,” I said in a reassuring voice and smiled. I didn’t know how Sebastian felt about the books being taken away from the library and I certainly wasn’t too happy about it myself, but I was glad to help. “Take whatever you need, but please return it before Sebastian arrives home.”
She nodded, thanked me in an enthusiastic voice and left the room, turning around one more time to express her gratitude before she closed the door. I was left with my confusing thoughts, wondering why I had asked her to return the books before Sebastian’s return. Deep down, maybe there was a part of me that still feared the darkness that could emerge from the corners that were well hidden in plain sight. I walked towards the window and observed the cold autumn night, realizing that nature, just like life, was nothing else but a constant exchange of the dark and the light.
Then my gaze darted towards the red roses and the sight of his beautiful gift made me smile again, chasing away the thoughts of confusion.
After running a warm bath and taking a long time to relax from all the commotion that was going on in my mind, I finally put on my pajamas and decided to go to bed. I turned off the lights and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the crazy things he’d been doing for me. The once scary flashbacks that had made me shiver with fear, were now completely gone and I was struck with an odd realization. Somehow, Sebastian had managed to replace each and every hurtful
memory with a happy one, and all that remained of that painful period were seldom doubts that were slowly fading from my mind. I patted the covers in frustration, thinking that Sebastian had gotten his wish, since I couldn’t go to sleep because he made me think about him. Closing my eyes tight, I tried to fall asleep, but to no avail, because I was interrupted by the loud ringing of the phone which would probably manage to wake the dead. I sat upright, turned on the lamp on the nightstand and answered the phone without even checking the number. Suddenly, I was afraid that something might have happened to someone in Rosemont because nobody ever called me this late.
“H-Hello,” I greeted the person on the line.
“Hello.” A familiar whisper sounded in my ears and I melted, without even realizing how much I’d missed to hear it. When I didn’t say anything, a loud chuckle contrasted by the soft voice, broke through the phone. “Don’t worry, I don’t have magical powers to get to you over the phone, even though that’s exactly what I’d like to do,” Sebastian teased.
I didn’t know what to say. Taken aback by the fact that he had called me, I gasped into the phone, trying to control my nervous breathing and the fast beating of my heart.
“Did I wake you up?” he asked in a tender voice and I shook my head, smiling even though he couldn’t see me.
“No, you didn’t wake me up. As a matter of fact, I think a have a bad case of insomnia,” I said through slight laughter.
“How so?” He breathed into the phone and I swallowed.
“Someone decided to surprise me today and I really liked the surprise. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
I blushed at my bluntness, and once again I felt grateful that Sebastian couldn’t witness the embarrassment on my face.
I could envision his smile. “You’re blushing, aren’t you?” he teased. I froze and looked around the room, wondering if there were cameras around.
“Are you spying on me?” I asked in a half-serious voice and he started laughing.
“No, I’m not spying on you.” There was a sudden break. “I just know you better than you think, angel.”
The blush on my face turned deeper and I sensed he knew that too, and for some reason I was unable to speak again.
“So, you like the roses?” It was more of a statement than a question.
“I love them,” I breathed and looked towards the vase on the vanity. “They’re beautiful.”
“I’m glad,” he whispered in a light voice.
The memory of his warm expression danced before my eyes. “You’re smiling, aren’t you?” I asked quietly and I heard his muffled laughter.
“Why, I think you are spying on me, Mrs. Everett,” he whispered and a warm shiver streamed through my body when he addressed me as his wife. It was as if he said: ‘You belong with me. You’re mine.’
“No, I wouldn’t dare to spy on you, Mr. Everett.” I returned the favor, suddenly thinking that the fact that Sebastian was my husband didn’t seem like such a bad thing at all lately. “I just know you better than you think,” I muttered with confidence.
For a while, we remained silent, but there wasn’t anything uncomfortable about it. I focused on the sound of his breathing and it was enough for me to relax and almost drift away to sleep.
“Isabelle...” I heard him whisper to me, but I was already in a daze, entering a rare, beautiful dream. “Are you awake?” His voice was a bit louder this time and I fought to tell him I wasn’t asleep, but all I could do was produce a soft moan that sounded through the phone. He sighed and as the world around me slowly faded away I could hear a tender voice that made me feel like I had butterflies dancing in my stomach. “Sleep tight, love,” he murmured and took a deep breath. “I miss you,” he said softly and hung up the phone with obvious reluctance.
Even though I knew he couldn’t hear me, the words at the tip of my tongue were spoken of their own accord, before sleep finally claimed me. “I miss you, too.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Cooking could be a lot of fun. More fun than I had ever imagined. I’d never actually prepared a decent meal in my entire life, but that day Norma was sick and Anne had taken the day off, so I decided to help Annette in the kitchen to keep my mind off how lonely I felt without Sebastian. Like myself, she wasn’t an expert with the oven, but with the little help of the Internet, we found a simple recipe for cupcakes and decided to try our luck. To lighten up the atmosphere and ease the pressure, we listened to music and goofed around while mixing the ingredients. It turned out to be a lot easier than I thought and in no time we were filling the little cups with the delicious looking pastry. I was wearing a simple white dress from the pile Sebastian had asked Helen to buy me and it felt so liberating to wear the things I liked again. With extreme caution, I was doing the finishing touches with the pastry and Annette teased me for not wanting to make my dress dirty.
“And here we were, thinking we couldn’t even bake an egg. These puppies look amazing,” Annette joked and I loved how this situation made her relax.
I laughed. “They sure do. But don’t get your hopes up. They still need to be baked. That’s the hard part.”
With caution, I placed the pan in the oven and smiled at Annette. She beamed at me and as I took the dirty bowl and started washing it by hand instead of putting it in the dishwasher, she couldn’t hide her surprise.
“Maybe I can’t find my way around the oven, but doing the dishes is something I excel at.” I winked at her.
“You know, I can’t believe that someone like you could be so simple and fun to be around,” she said with a ring of amazement in her voice.
“The feeling is entirely mutual. I think you’re really fun to be around too. The girl before you gave me a lot of trouble.” I bit my lip, reprimanding myself for starting the dangerous subject.
“You mean Teresa?” My mouth fell opened when I realized that Annette already knew who I was talking about. “I heard she was crazy about Sebastian and that she wanted him for herself.” Her voice was serious, but then it turned a few shades lighter again. “No offense, but I can’t blame her. The man is drop dead gorgeous. You are one lucky woman, Isabelle.”
Struck by her words, I just smiled in response, hiding my true emotions, but then she chuckled and said something that sent me over the edge. “I bet he’s great in bed too.”
The bowl dropped from my hands and onto the floor. My hands shook as I bent down to pick it up and Annette looked at me with a mixture of worry and disbelief.
“Are you alright?” She was on the verge of panicking and I took a deep breath to calm both myself and her down.
“I’m fine.” I forced a smile, but I knew she could tell it was fake.
“I’m so sorry, Isabelle. I had no right to say that.” She looked at me worriedly. “Please, just forget I said anything.”
But I couldn’t forget. I knew she only tried to have a normal girly talk, but her words had caused a storm of emotions I wasn’t ready to deal with. With growing pain in my heart, I analyzed the effect that one sentence had on me and consequently, I compared myself to the girl standing in front of me. I was bruised and damaged. She wasn’t. I had a lot of trouble speaking my mind and building up my self-confidence. She didn’t. As a matter of fact, the more time I’d spent around her, the more I realized she was bursting with faith in herself and her dreams. I couldn’t even think about intimacy, even though Sebastian tried so hard to make me forget. Without a doubt, Annette didn’t have any issues with trust when it came to relationships. Besides, this was the second time she tried to get me to talk about my marriage and I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something wasn’t right.
Suddenly, I looked at her as someone who was dangerously close to Sebastian, and I wondered if it was only a matter of time before he gave up on me and craved someone who wasn’t damaged—someone who was normal. Staring at her with disbelief, I slowly realized that what I felt couldn’t be described as anything else but jealousy. The discovery shocked me.
“Isabelle, please say something.” Annette’s pleading voice made me snap out of my gloomy thoughts. I wanted to ease her discomfort and tried to diminish the feelings of doubt that swept over me.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I smiled, trying to block the threatening thoughts in the back of my mind. “I just have a lot on my mind. I’m sorry I reacted that harshly.”
A smile twisted her lips. “Isabelle, I know I crossed the line with my joke, but I would never betray your trust. I’m not like Teresa. Please believe me.” She sounded sincere and her face seemed to radiate honesty. I felt guilty for making her feel that bad just because she wanted to have some innocent fun.
“Annette...”
“Something smells delicious.” Sebastian’s deep voice sounded through the room and both Annette and I turned towards him, startled by his presence.
“T-thank you for helping me in the kitchen, madam. I have to go do the other c-chores now.” Annette’s uneasiness around Sebastian was obvious when she blushed and nervously fled the room, leaving me alone with him.
He exhaled and chuckled for a brief moment. Annette’s behavior entertained him. His face turned slightly serious and he directed his gaze at me. I gulped, because I knew that my behavior with Annette was against his high standards and despite his lovely gestures, even I felt uneasy around him at the moment, wondering if I had crossed the line.
“I thought you were in Paris,” I said in a small voice.
He shrugged. “I closed the deal and decided to come back earlier.” His eyes darted towards the mess on the table and the sink filled with dishes that still needed to be done.
“Norma wasn’t feeling well,” I tried to justify why I was in the kitchen before he got a chance to scowl at me first.
“I know.”
“And...” I paused, uncertain of what I should say.
“And?” He encouraged me in a light voice, but his face still didn’t give out if he was upset.
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