by Maisey Yates
“I don’t need to know what you do in your off time,” she snapped, not sure what had prompted her to make the remark.
A slow smile curved his lips. “But what I do in my off time is so very fascinating. I’m sure you could benefit from a little off time yourself.”
Her body reacted to the words with heat, with increased heart rate and sweaty palms. Her body was a filthy traitor. Her mind, on the other hand, came to her rescue. Sensible and suitably outraged.
“I already told you, I’m not going there with you. I’ve agreed to marry you, but I’m not sharing your bed. This marriage won’t be real.” It couldn’t be real. She’d had a real marriage. A marriage filled with laughing and shouting and making love, and this, this union with a stranger, no matter that it was legal, would never be that.
There had been security in her marriage. Even at the low points, there had been an element of safety. Alik possessed nothing even slightly resembling safety. He was a law unto himself, much like the desert she found herself stranded in.
He crossed his muscular arms across his broad chest, one eyebrow arched. “On the contrary, this marriage will be very real in every way that counts.”
Her skin prickled. “What does that mean?”
“All marriage is, is a legal document. But then, that’s what adoption is, da? So you have to collect the proper legal documents to get your life in order. That’s how I see it.”
“That’s not what marriage is.”
“And you’re an expert.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I am.”
He stopped talking, his gray eyes locked with hers. “I do not claim expertise in that area. But all I’m saying is, it will be as real as it must be in order for you to make a permanent claim on Leena. That is all you require.”
“Yes. Although I’m still a little unsure about why you’re helping me.”
Alik was, too. In some ways. In others…it made sense. It was what a family looked like. A mother and father, married. That was the traditional way of it. It was everything he’d never had, and he’d suffered for the lack of it. He would not allow Leena to suffer similarly.
And it was what Sayid had done. He had married Chloe in order to secure the future of his nephew and it had all turned out very well for him.
Of course, Alik wasn’t counting on love and more children. He was in no danger of it, in fact. Love was something he had never managed to feel. Loyalty, yes. A bond of brotherhood with Sayid. But otherwise…no, love was certainly not on the table for him. It had been torn from him, the day his mother had left him in an overcrowded orphanage.
There could be no love but…perhaps a sort of facade of legitimacy. He hadn’t been a soldier for hire in a long time. And since then, he’d parlayed his experience as a military strategist into the business world, and he’d been a huge success. But there were events, functions where people brought spouses or at least dates.
He’d never had an actual date. He didn’t take women out, he met them out. At parties, clubs, and then he took them to bed. To whatever hotel room was closest. To the backseat of his car. He’d never been particular.
But things were changing. His life was changing. He’d long since abandoned some of the more self-destructive exploits of his youth. The truth was, being a soldier for hire had afforded him a lot of money. And in combination with being a man who didn’t care whether he lived or died, it was a very dangerous thing.
Now though, things were different. He was ready for them to be, in some ways. He wondered if this was the thing that might finally reach the frozen block in his chest where his heart should be.
He’d spent years serving the lusts of his flesh, allowing his body to feel the things his heart simply could not.
He looked at the child in Jada’s arms and he wished for a connection. For something. A recognition of her as his blood, as his family.
And there was nothing. No magic bond.
He gritted his teeth. “Yes, I think having you as a wife actually suits my purposes well. I’ve had a career change in the past few years and it will sometimes be good for me to have a wife to attend galas and things of that nature with me.”
“Galas?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t sign on to attend galas. I signed on to be a mother to my own child.” He noticed that she adamantly continued to refuse to call Leena his child, “and to be left alone in one of your penthouses. In a location of my choosing, if I remember correctly.”
“Perhaps I have changed what I expect. I ought to get something additional out of the deal, don’t you think? And since sex isn’t on offer I think the least you can do is put on a ball gown and hang on my arm at business functions.”
She lifted her chin, lioness eyes glittering with deadly intent. “Whatever you wish, of course.”
Such a dangerous acquiescence. He could tell she meant none of it, but that she was willing to play along with anything at this point. Anything to keep Leena close to her.
That realization made his chest burn, as though her conviction was so strong it had lit a spark within him. His child deserved that. This intense protectiveness, born of love, that Jada wore so proudly. And Leena would not get it from him. He could not give it.
All the better that Jada would be in residence.
“Somehow, I don’t believe that,” he said. “But I don’t require your obedience.”
“Don’t you?”
He shrugged. “No. Where’s the fun in that? I prefer women who like a challenge.”
“I prefer you not think of me as a woman.”
He looked over her petite figure. Small, perfectly formed breasts, gently rounded hips. “It’s a bit late for that. It’s the curves. They give you away.”
She lifted her chin, golden eyes burning with fire. “I’m ready to see my room now.”
“Then I shall call Adira.”
Jada had been forbidden from putting her own things away by Alik’s very stern head of the household. There were people for that sort of thing, and she was not to trouble herself. That extended to Leena’s things. Both of which had arrived, inexplicably, only hours after they did.
Alik had made good on his every promise so far, which made it truly difficult to hate him too much.
Leena was his daughter, after all, and regardless of how she felt about his behavior, about how irresponsible one had to be to get into such a situation, she couldn’t deny that he was Leena’s father.
How could she deny Leena a chance to know him? That Jada had been the one to love her and care for her did make her more important in her estimation, but the biological connection between Alik and Leena wasn’t nothing.
The morality of the entire situation was sticky and horrible.
Jada sank onto her bed and watched Leena, toddling around the exterior of her blanket before sitting down a little bit too hard, her movements wobbly and clumsy. She didn’t cry. She just clapped her chubby hands.
Jada slid off the edge of the bed and clasped one of Leena’s hands in hers, ran a finger along the little dimples that disguised her knuckles. The price for this, for being with her daughter, wasn’t too high.
There would never be a price too high. If she hadn’t agreed to the marriage, to coming here with him, then she would have lost her child forever.
And if she’d agreed to be the nanny, she would have lost the position that was rightfully hers. After the doctors, she’d been the first person to hold Leena. She’d been the one who’d spent countless sleepless nights pacing the halls with a squalling child in her arms.
She was Leena’s mother in every way that mattered. Marrying a stranger, leaving her home, her country, it was a small sacrifice for moments like these, and every moment in the future.
Leena was her life. Nothing else mattered.
“Settling in, I see.”
Jada turned and saw Alik standing in the doorway. She hadn’t heard him approach, hadn’t heard the door to the bedroom open. He was almost supernaturally steal
thy. It was a bit unnerving. But then, the man was unnerving in general.
“Yes. We are. I don’t think Leena is fazed at all by the different surroundings.”
“I think it would be different if you weren’t here.”
She blinked, not expecting the compliment. Not expecting him to understand. “You’re very right about that.”
“I made some calls. I was able to secure us a marriage license and it’s all in order for the ceremony to take place this weekend.”
Her throat tightened, her mouth going dry. “I imagine your connection with the sheikh helped on this one.”
“It didn’t hurt.”
Why was the room spinning now? It seemed like it was spinning. “This morning, I woke up and got ready to go to the courthouse to finally get this adoption finalized. I thought, there’s no way he’ll get here in time and they’ll just rule him as absentee. Now, I’m in a foreign country with a man I barely know, and I’m marrying him in three days.” She said it all out loud, like it might help make it real. And if it wasn’t real, maybe speaking out loud would wake her up from this bizarre dream.
“And this morning,” he said, his voice quiet, “I got word that the hearing date had been changed and I went to a courthouse in another country, to make sure that I didn’t lose the chance of ever seeing my own child. Knowing if I missed it, I may never even get a chance to look at her.”
For the first time, she realized that Alik’s life had been upended, too. Even if the upending was a result of his own actions. “I suppose we’ve both had a strange day.”
He straightened. “To say the least.” The gravity was now absent from his tone. “One of the strangest I’ve had, and if you were aware of my past history you would know that’s saying something.”
“I get that vibe from you.”
“Do you?”
“Nothing about you seems typical.”
Not even close. He was like a predatory animal in human form. Easy grace and harnessed power. But with the ability to spring into action and tear out someone’s throat in the blink of an eye. He’d looked at home in his denim and rumpled shirt, tattoos on display, and just as comfortable in a custom-tailored suit. He was a man who shifted identities as easily as breathing.
“I suppose not,” he said. His words were oddly flat.
“So what is it you do?” she asked.
He looked surprised. For the first time since all of this had happened, since she’d met him, he actually looked caught off guard. “What do I do?”
“For work. For money. Other than…having sheikhs be indebted to you and gifting you palaces, that is.”
“Right now? I’m a tactical expert. I go into corporations and help with strategies. How to take out the competition. Plans to increase productivity and profit. Whatever they need.”
“Taking out the competition?”
A half smile curved his lips. Wicked. Wicked was the only word for that smile of his. “It’s a clever little take on what I used to do, but that’s another story.”
“And do you do this for everyone? At some point aren’t you working both sides?”
“Sometimes. But I am always one hundred percent loyal to whoever is paying for my services at a given time. It suits me. I don’t want to man a massive corporation—I prefer to be a free agent. This allows me to move as I please.”
“Given the financial information mentioned at the hearing you do very well at this.”
“I do all right,” he said.
Yeah. Eight figures of all right, but she wasn’t going to say that. It was crass to talk about money, at least that’s what her parents had always said.
“I’m just…I’m very tired,” she said.
He looked down at Leena. “Will she sleep for you or shall I send one of my staff to help you?”
She felt drained suddenly. Incapable of doing anything but crawling into bed, pulling the covers over her head and trying to forget the entire day had happened. Trying to forget that this was her life.
She recognized this. Shock. Grief in a way. It was the loss of the life she’d planned for her and Leena.
“She’ll be fine,” she said. No way was she letting her daughter out of her sight. In fact, she doubted she’d even be using the adjoining room for her. She had a feeling she’d just pull the crib in and place it by her bed.
“As long as you’re certain.”
“I need her with me.”
“Of course,” he said. It was strange how he said it. His words lacked emotion. They lacked understanding. As though he didn’t really get why she might need Leena close.
“I guess we’ll talk more tomorrow.”
“Yes. We will need to discuss wedding plans.”
“I don’t care about them,” she said. “Hire someone else to do it.”
“I was planning on it, but still, someone will have to come take your measurements. For your dress.”
“Of course.” She imagined he would put her in a Western-style wedding gown, which she found she actually preferred.
She’d had her big Indian wedding with Sunil. Worn the red sari she’d dreamed of since she was a little girl. Her extended family had all been there, her mother. She’d still had her mother then. It had been everything she’d wanted.
She would not let this wedding, this farce, infect the memory of her wedding. She needed this to be something else. Something different. A wedding that had no personal significance to her at all. Something that didn’t feel like part of her.
“I want a white dress,” she said.
“Tell the stylist when she comes tomorrow.”
“I will.”
As long as she kept it separate, someone else’s wedding and not hers, maybe she could survive it.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE NEXT DAYS PASSED too quickly. No matter how hard Jada wished time would stand still, it simply wouldn’t. And before she knew it, the day of the wedding arrived.
Why were they even having a wedding? For Leena, she knew, and then of course for Alik’s peers. Wedding photos would be necessary for both.
It would be small, she’d been assured. Only Sayid and his family. Sayid, she’d found out, was the sheikh of Attar. So, only the sheikh. No big deal.
Jada felt like she would throw up.
She clutched the bouquet of lilies to her chest and looked down at the flowing, white fabric of her gown. She’d asked that everything be white. A total contrast to her first wedding, which had been filled with color, food and music.
She would have this feel as different as possible. As much like something other than her wedding as she could manage.
It wasn’t working right now. Wasn’t working to tame the butterflies that were rioting around in her belly.
There were more staff seeing to the wedding than there were people in attendance. It was almost funny. Between the photographer, the kitchen staff, the decorators, the coordinator and the minister, it was rather amazing.
They didn’t have music. Her cue to walk up the aisle was when she could see Alik standing at the head of it. She peered around the gauzy curtain that separated the stone veranda from the walled gardens.
She could see him there. In a suit. No tie, the collar unbuttoned at his throat.
She almost turned and ran. But then she saw Leena. Leena in her little white dress, her chubby legs hanging over one of the chairs that had been set up around the altar area.
Chloe, Sayid’s wife, was keeping an eye on her, along with her two children.
And that right there was why this was happening. It was why she was getting ready to walk down the aisle toward a man she didn’t know. It was why she was going to do it with her head held high.
Because for Leena, she could do nothing less.
“You can do this, Jada,” she whispered.
Then she swept the curtain aside and started down the aisle.
Alik wasn’t certain what he’d expected to feel. Nothing, actually, that was what he’d expected to feel. That wa
s the status quo after all.
But when he saw Jada, headed toward him, a white gown fitted over curves, white flowers pressed tightly against her chest, her dark hair covered by a frothy veil, he felt something.
Heat streaked through his veins, hot as fire and just as dangerous.
Lust.
He was well familiar with lust. But Jada was not a woman he wanted to feel any lust for. Keeping their arrangement purely on paper was essential. To the peace of his household, to the way he conducted his life.
Lust was something he simply couldn’t afford.
And yet it was there, an insistent ball of heat in his gut. And when Jada came forward and placed her small, soft hand in his, golden and perfect against his own battered skin, it only stoked the flames.
She looked up, her eyes wide, as though she felt it, too. And was no happier about it than he was.
He had intended for her to have no effect on his life. And that was how it would remain. He kept that in the forefront of his mind as he spoke his vows. Repeated it mentally. No matter the words they spoke today, here at the altar, it would not change what he had planned.
It would not change his life.
But what if it does? That thought pushed against the ice blockade around his heart. And he shoved it away.
There was no kiss during the ceremony. It was not traditional to kiss publicly in Attar, and he felt that they should adhere to that part of the custom. He was exceedingly glad they had done so now.
As if a kiss could affect you?
After all he’d done, it should not have the power to do so. But he wondered. Wondered what it would do to him to touch his lips to hers. They were full, soft. So perfect looking. And he wanted a taste badly enough to know he’d made the right choice to exclude it from the ceremony. He’d bet she tasted like passion. Like emotion so deep he’d never reach the bottom.
He was used to women as jaded as himself, or at least halfway to that point. But Jada was not that woman. He had to wonder…if he touched her, would it burn with heat like her eyes? Would it have the power to burn away the scars over his own emotions and set them all free?