‘It’s so fast...’ Cass had been preparing for a long haul, but it had barely been an hour since she’d woken him up and already he was telling Lynette that they were nearly there.
‘That’s a good thing. Lynette’s fine and so is the baby.’
Ten minutes later, her nephew was born. Jack cleared his mouth, rubbing his chest gently. Everyone held their breath and then the little man began to cry. Lynette squeezed Cass’s hand so tight that she thought she was going to break her fingers.
‘Say hello to your mum...’ Jack laid the baby on Lynette’s chest and covered him over with a towel. The two women lay on the bed together, cradling the baby, in a daze of happiness.
* * *
Suddenly, it was all perfect. Martin had welcomed the newest member of the village to the world, and Sue went to make tea and toast. Jack managed everything perfectly, melting into the background, clearing up and making the medical checks that were needed, without intruding into their bubble.
Then the call came from Lynette’s husband, saying he’d received the photo that Cass had sent and was ready and waiting for a video call. Lynette was left alone for a few minutes to talk to him and show him their new son.
Cass waited outside the door, a sudden heaviness settling on her. However close she and Lynette were, however much her sister had needed her, it wasn’t her baby. It was Lynette and Steven’s. Their joy. One that she would only ever feel second-hand.
This wasn’t the time. There were too many special moments ahead for her to spoil with her own selfishness. And they came soon enough. The moment when Jack helped Lynette to encourage her son to feed, and he finally got the hang of what he was supposed to do. The moment when his eyelids flickered open and Cass stared for the first time into his pale blue eyes.
‘Do you have a name for him yet?’ Jack was busy repacking his medical bag.
‘We did have. But we’ve decided on something different.’ Lynette smiled. ‘We reckon Noah.’
‘Very appropriate.’ Jack chuckled.
‘Is Jack a nickname for John?’ She was beginning to tire now, and had lost the thread of what she was saying a couple of times already.
‘Yep. Named after my grandfather. They used to call him Jack as well.’
‘Noah John has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?’
Jack turned. ‘What does your husband think?’
‘Steven suggested it. What you did tonight meant everything, to both of us, and we’d really like to have your name as his middle name. If you don’t mind, that is.’
A broad grin spread over Jack’s face. ‘I’d be very honoured. Thank you.’ He walked over to the bed, bending down to stroke the side of little Noah’s face with his finger. The tiny baby opened his eyes, seeming to focus on Jack, although Cass knew that he couldn’t really focus on anything just yet.
‘Hey there, Noah.’ Jack’s voice was little more than a whisper. ‘We guys have to stick together, you know. Especially since we share a name now. What do you say we let your mum get a bit of rest?’
‘Will you and Cass look after him for me? I just want to close my eyes; I don’t think I can sleep.’
‘Of course.’ Sue had prepared the Moses basket that she’d used for her children and Jack took Noah, setting him down in the cradle. But he immediately began to fret and Jack picked him up again, soothing him.
‘Now what do we do?’ Cass whispered the words at Jack. Sue and Martin had quietly left at the first suggestion of sleep, and Lynette’s eyes had already drooped closed. It seemed that they were quite literally left holding the baby.
Jack chuckled quietly, nodding towards the easy chair in the corner of the room. ‘Sit down. Over there.’
‘Me?’ She was suddenly gripped with panic. ‘You want me to hold him?’
‘I’ve got things to do. And it’s about time he got acquainted with his aunt.’
It was almost a bitter thought. Holding her sister’s baby and not her own. But in the peace and quiet of the room, candles guttering in their holders and a bedside lamp casting a soft glow, it was easy to forget that. Cass plumped herself down in the chair, wondering what Jack was going to do next.
‘Suppose I drop him?’
‘You won’t.’ Jack seemed to be able to manage the baby in one arm while he picked up a pillow from the bed in the other hand, dropping it on to her lap. ‘Here you are. That’s right.’
The sudden closeness felt so good she wanted to cry out. Jack’s scent, mingling with that of a baby. Instinctively her arms curled around Noah and she rocked him gently, holding him against her chest. He fretted for a moment and then fell into a deep sleep.
‘I just want to wake him up. See his eyes again...’ She looked up at Jack and, when he smiled, Cass realised that all the wonder she felt must be written clearly on her face.
‘Yeah, I know. Let him sleep for a while; being born is a tiring business.’
Jack fetched a straight-backed chair from the kitchen and sat in the pool of light from the lamp, writing notes and keeping an eye on everyone. When Cass could tear her gaze from Noah, she watched Jack. Relaxed, smiling and unbearably handsome. She envied the shadows, which seemed to caress his face in recognition of a job well done.
When Noah woke and began to fuss a little, Lynette was immediately alert, reaching for her child. Jack delivered him to her and this time there were fewer grimaces and less messing around to get him to feed. Cass watched from the other side of the bed and, when he’d had enough and fallen back into sleep, she curled up with her sister on the bed, holding her hand until they both followed Noah’s example and slept.
* * *
The morning dawned bright and clear. Jack had managed to sleep a little, in the chair in the corner of the room, and now he had heard from the HEMS team. They were flying, and would take advantage of the break in the weather to take Lynette and Noah to hospital.
Despite the early hour, a few people had gathered around the village green. An excited chatter accompanied the landing of the helicopter and a ragged cheer went up when its crew followed Jack towards the vicarage.
He said his goodbyes to Lynette and Noah inside, keeping his distance as the HEMS team took them outside with Cass. Jack wondered if this would be the last he ever saw of her and, despite all his resolutions, he found himself staring at her, as if to burn her image into his mind. But she waited for Lynette and the baby to be safely installed in the helicopter and then jogged back to stand at his side.
‘There goes your last chance of getting out of the village today. The roads are still blocked.’ Cass’s eyes seemed to be fixed on the disappearing speck in the sky.
Jack nodded. ‘Yours too.’
‘What does that make us?’ She turned her querying gaze on to his face.
Jack shrugged. ‘It makes us people who know our families are safe, and that the village might still need us.’
‘It’s not easy...’
‘I don’t think it’s meant to be.’ Jack’s decision to stay had been made in the small hours of last night and it had torn him in two. Doing his job and being a good dad was a complex and sometimes heartbreaking juggling act.
‘Well, it’s done now. The only thing I can do to justify it is to make today count.’ She smiled suddenly. ‘Hungry?’
‘Famished.’ He looked at his watch. ‘What time’s breakfast?’
‘Not for a couple of hours. We’ll raid the kitchen.’
The kitchen was empty and she made toast while Jack made the tea. She rummaged in the cupboard, finding a couple of jars, and picked up two bananas from a crate in the corner. Then she led the way through to her private hidey-hole in the church porch.
‘What is that?’ It appeared that instead of choosing what she wanted on her toast, Cass was going for everything.
‘Chocolate spre
ad, then peanut butter and mashed banana. Try it; it’s really nice.’
‘Maybe another time. When I’m planning on not eating for the next two days.’
‘A good breakfast sets you up for the day. You should know that; you’re a medic.’
‘Yeah. Perhaps I’d better not mention the sugar in that.’
She shrugged. ‘I’ll work it off.’
They ate in silence. His first slice of toast with peanut butter and his second with chocolate spread. Jack supposed that since he was going to eat the banana afterwards, he couldn’t really poke too much fun at Cass’s choice of breakfast.
It was still early and the glow of a new day, diffusing gently through the thick ancient glass, seemed to impose a relaxed camaraderie. Grabbing meals at odd hours after working most of the night. Talking, saying whatever came to mind without the usual filter of good manners and expediency. It felt as if anything could be asked, and answered.
‘Is there someone waiting for you when we get out of here?’
She shrugged. ‘Lots of people, I imagine.’
‘I meant a partner...’ It was becoming important to Jack to find out about all the subjects that Cass seemed to skirt around.
‘Oh, that.’ Jack wondered whether she really hadn’t known what he was talking about. ‘Big red truck. Makes a noise...’
‘You’re married to your job, then?’
She nodded, taking a bite from her toast. ‘You?’
‘I never married. And I don’t get much time for socialising any more; when Ellie came along I had to make quite a few changes.’
She turned her querying eyes on to him and Jack wondered whether she wanted to know about him as much as he wanted to know about her. It was strangely gratifying.
‘Then you have a past? How exciting.’ The curve of her lip promoted an answering throb in his chest which made it hard to deny how much he liked it when Cass teased him.
‘It’s not that exciting.’ Looking back, it seemed more desperate than anything. Desperate to find the warmth that was missing from his broken home, and yet afraid to commit to anyone in case they let him down, the way his father had let his mother down.
She gave him that cool once-over with her gaze which always left his nerve endings tingling. ‘Bet you were good at it, though.’
That was undeniably a compliment, and Jack chuckled. ‘I kept my head above water.’
Her eyes were full of questions, and suddenly Jack wanted to answer them all. ‘Ellie’s mother was the daughter of one of my dad’s climbing partners; we practically grew up together. I went off to university and when I got back Sal was away climbing. It wasn’t until years later that we found ourselves in the same place at the same time, for the weekend...’
‘Okay. I’ve got your drift.’ Cass held up her hand, clearly happy to forgo those particular details. ‘So what about Ellie?’
‘Fifteen months later, Sal turned up on my doorstep with her.’
‘And you didn’t know...?’
‘Sal never said a word. She only got in touch then because she needed someone to take Ellie while she went climbing in Nepal.’
Cass choked on her toast. ‘That must... I can’t imagine what that must have been like.’
‘It was love at first sight. And a wake-up call.’
‘I can imagine. Bachelor about town one minute, in charge of a baby the next. However did you cope?’
‘Badly at first. Sarah took me in hand, though; she got me organised and offered to take Ellie while I was at work.’ Despite all of the sleepless nights, the worry, it had felt so right, as if he’d been looking for something in all the wrong places and finally found it on his own doorstep. He’d had no choice but to change his lifestyle, but Jack had done so gladly.
‘And Ellie’s mother?’
‘She never came back. Sal died.’
Cass’s shoulders shook as she was seized with another choking fit. Maybe he should wait with the story until she’d finished eating.
She put the toast down on to her plate and left it there. ‘Jack...I’m so sorry. She was killed climbing?’
‘No, she was trying to get in with an expedition to Everest. Of course no one would take her; there’s a waiting list to get on to most of the peaks around there and you can’t just turn up and climb. She wouldn’t give up, though, and ended up sleeping rough. She was killed in a mugging that went wrong.’
‘Poor Ellie...’
Her immediate concern for his child touched Jack. ‘She’s too young for it to really register yet. I just have to hope that I can be there for her when it does.’
Cass took a sip of her tea. ‘I have a feeling you’ll do a great job of helping Ellie to understand about her mother, when the time comes.’
‘What makes you say that?’
She flushed pink. ‘Because you’re very reassuring. You were great with Lynette last night. In between all the grimaces, that was her I’m very reassured face.’
‘Well, that’s good to know. And what was yours?’ He pulled a face, parodying wide-eyed panic.
Cass giggled. ‘That was my I hope no one notices I’m completely terrified face.’
‘Thought so.’ He leaned towards her. ‘I don’t think anyone did.’
‘That’s okay, then.’ The sudden glimpse behind the barriers that Cass put up between her and the world was electrifying. Her smiles, her laughter were bewitching. If things had been different...
But things weren’t different. Ellie had already lost her mother. No one should feel that loss twice, and if it meant that Jack remained steadfastly single it was a small price to pay for knowing that no one would ever have the chance to leave Ellie again.
He took a gulp of tea. Maybe it was better to just stop thinking about any of this and focus on the here and now. ‘So what are your plans for the day?’
* * *
Crisis bonding. That was what it was. Jack wouldn’t seem half as handsome or a quarter as desirable if it hadn’t been for the floods and a long night, filled with every kind of emotion imaginable. A little sleep and a lot of coffee would fix everything.
Somehow Cass doubted that. But she had to tell herself something before she started to fall for Jack. Because, when it came down to it, his expectations were most probably the same as any other man’s.
And she would never really know what his expectations were until she was in too deep. When Paul had first proposed to her he’d never mentioned children, but the pressure had started to grow as soon as it became apparent to both of them that there might be a problem. She couldn’t risk the pain of trying again and being rejected when she failed. No man, not even Jack, could guarantee that he wouldn’t leave her if she couldn’t give him children.
It was better to accept being alone. And to concentrate on today.
‘Martin and I were going to go and visit Miss Palmer. She’s eighty-two and won’t leave her house. She’s pretty feisty.’
He chuckled. ‘What is it about this village? It’s like a nineteen-fifties horror film—some poor hapless paramedic washed up to find himself in a remote place where all the women are terrifying...’
He wasn’t terrified at all; he was man enough to enjoy it. Cass grinned. ‘We are all terrifying. There’s something in the water.’
Jack leaned back, his shoulders shaking with laughter. ‘I’ll stick to bottled, then. And I don’t much like the sound of an eighty-two-year-old on her own in these conditions. Want me to come along?’
‘Yes. Thanks. Maybe we can grab a couple of hours sleep first, though. And some coffee.’
CHAPTER FOUR
‘I WONDER IF she’s got any cake.’ Sleep seemed to have made Cass hungry again.
‘Almost certainly.’ Martin opened the front gate of one of a small, neat row of houses. ‘I gat
her that the Monday Club came round here yesterday, after your visit.’
‘That’s all right then. What we can’t eat, we can use to shore up the flood defences.’ Cass stopped at the end of the path and Jack decided to wait with her, leaving Martin to approach the cottage alone.
The door was opened by a small, neatly dressed woman who might or might not be Miss Palmer. She didn’t look eighty-two.
‘Vicar. Lovely to see you.’ She craned around to look at Cass and Jack. ‘You’ve brought reinforcements, I see.’
Martin’s shoulders drooped. Clearly, reinforcements were exactly what he needed.
‘That her?’ Jack murmured the words to Cass and she nodded, turning her back on the front door.
‘Yep. She’s...’
‘Cassandra!’ Cass jumped and swivelled back to face Miss Palmer. ‘Do turn around, dear; you know I can’t hear you.’
‘Sorry. I forgot...’
Miss Palmer pursed her lips in disbelief. ‘Well, come in and have a cup of tea. And you can tell me all about last night.’
‘News travels fast.’ Cass strode up the front path. ‘They’re calling him Noah. Eight pounds, give or take.’
‘Good.’ Miss Palmer beamed her approval, leaning round to examine Jack. ‘Is this your captive paramedic, dear?’
Jack was beginning to feel as if he was. Captivated by Cass’s smile, longing to hear her laugh. Wanting to touch her.
‘Yes. We found him washed up by the side of the river and we’ve decided to keep him. We’ve had him locked in the church hall.’
Miss Palmer nodded, enigmatic humour in her face. ‘Leave your boots in the porch.’
The sitting room was bright and frighteningly clean, with the kind of orderliness that Jack remembered from before he’d had a child. One wall was entirely given over to glass-fronted bookcases and another was filled with framed photographs.
‘My travels.’ Miss Palmer caught Jack looking at them and came to stand by his side. ‘Papua New Guinea... South Africa...’
Jack studied the black and white photographs. Some were the kind a tourist might take, posed with landmarks and things of interest, and others told a different story. Groups of children, ramshackle schools, a young woman whose air of determination couldn’t be disguised by time and who had to be Miss Palmer.
Saved by the Single Dad Page 4