I heard my door open. I heard Eric's voice. And I saw his face when he realized the woman beneath me was his wife. I will never forget the look on his face"
"What happened?" Leah whispered.
"Nine months later my daughter was born. Eric never denied her. Geoffrey says he treated her as if she were his own. I should have been grateful for that, but I was living in hell. Knowing I had betrayed my brother. Knowing I had a daughter I couldn't see, couldn't touch, couldn't hold."
Richard met Leah's gaze, shimmering with unshed tears. He wanted to lay his head against her breast, but he was afraid to touch her, afraid he would lose the weak grip he had on his control. "I never even saw her until she was four years old. Oh, sometimes I would watch her from a distance, when her nurse took her to the park. But I couldn't go home. I couldn't face my brother, knowing I had betrayed him. Then Eric died."
Christ, his eyes felt hot and wet, as if he might weep. He rubbed his hands over his face. "My daughter my sweet, beautiful, innocent daughter-lives with me, in my house, and I can never claim her for my own"
His breathing grew harsh, his skin too tight from the tension hardening his muscles. He prowled the room. "As if all that weren't bad enough, I robbed you of your innocence, kept you from marrying the man-" God, he could not even put it into words. He ground his teeth. ". . . the man you loved, merely to cover my sins. And then I sent you to have my child, alone and unprotected. I am as villainous as your father."
He closed his eyes, dragged his hands down his face. He knew she approached. He could hear her soft footsteps pattering across the rug, but he could not bring himself to meet her gaze. He felt exposed, vulnerable, his deepest sins revealed.
"I have loved you for the longest time," she said, fluttering her fingertips along his cheek.
His fears must have shown in his eyes as he met her gaze, for she nodded. She stroked her hands over his shoulders, gave a soft, self-deprecating laugh. "And I wanted to wed you. Truly, I did. How could I not, when you swept into my life with your demon-dark eyes and your too-hungry kisses that swept all thoughts of any other man out of my mind?"
Her tone was teasing, but her smile faltered. "I think, at first, it was infatuation. I was drawn to you from the moment we met. You are so handsome, so forceful, so strong. How could I resist falling in love with you? Then I convinced myself that I must love you because of the intimacies of our marriage bed. But those are callow reasons, and I am ashamed. Now I know the man you are, the sacrifices you have made ... and I am the one not worthy of your love."
She dammed his protests with her fingertips. "Yet you say you love me, and I thank God for the gift He's granted me. I thank God for the gift of your love."
Richard dragged her into his arms. Her tears splashed against his cheeks, mingled with his own, while his tongue mingled with hers. He dragged his mouth along her jaw.
"I love you," he groaned, the words made all the sweeter by the taste of her breath upon his lips, then her whispered response, "And I love you"
He slid her mantle from her shoulders, slowly worked the ribbons that secured her gown beneath her breasts.
She captured his hand, but her gaze shifted to the wall behind his back. "I have grown so large. I will displease you"
He placed two fingers against her lips. "I thought you understood, but I guess I haven't made myself perfectly clear. I have always thought you beautiful, but I do not love you for your face, or your body, or your hair. I love the person you are, the beauty inside you. You carry my child in your womb. And I want to see you. All of you"
Holding her gaze with his, he returned his hands to the ribbons of her gown. His fingers trembled as he lifted the frock away from her shoulders and let it slide to the floor, sending her soft cotton shift along with it. He had never seen a pregnant woman before. He held his breath, swallowed past the knot in his throat, then dropped his gaze.
Her stomach was round and high beneath her breasts. Her breasts were swollen, her nipples huge. A ripple rolled across her skin. His gaze shot to hers and she smiled, took his hand, and placed his palm flat against her skin, until he felt it.
A firm, swift kick. He laughed as he dropped to his knees, reverently ran his hands over her belly.
"Our child," he whispered as he worshipped her with his hands and mouth.
She wrapped her fingers in his hair as he met her gaze.
"Thank you, for the gift you bear me, here in your womb" He kissed her belly, then pushed to his feet, brought his lips within a whisper of hers. "Thank you for loving me"
He swept her into his arms, surprised at her lightness despite the burden of his child nestled within her. He gently placed her on the bed. She leaned up on her elbows.
Her gaze never left his hands as he removed his cravat, shrugged out of his waistcoat, peeled away his shirt. He groaned and shoved his breeches to the floor. Her eyes darkening, she stared at his rigid shaft as he came down on the bed beside her. Her drew her hand to his chest. "Touch me. Please, touch me ""
He sucked in his breath as she ran her fingers through the thick mat of black hair covering his chest, her touch tantalizingly soft and more erotic than anything that had come before. All the barriers were down. All the secrets told.
A lifetime of love beckoned him home.
He pushed her back against the pillows, moved his mouth to her throat, drank the sweet taste of her skin. She gripped his shoulders, her moan of pleasure bringing him too close to the edge. It had been so long, too damn long since he had touched her. He wanted to make it last, but he was nearly undone.
He trailed a lazy path to her breasts, drew one dusky peak into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her flesh, amazed at the changes in her body. She was always beautiful, but now she was lush and glowing, radiant in her pleasure.
He gazed up at her flushed face and he smiled. "Soon our child will suckle at your breast"
"You are a wonderful father to Alison," she said. She ran her fingers through his hair, pushing the fringe back from his eyes. Her voice came out low, trembling with emotion, with admiration, with need. "I know our child will be blessed."
A father. The idea had yet to fully penetrate his senses. He was going to be a father again, only this time, there was no shame in the knowledge. No aching betrayal. No desperate longing for a child he could never claim.
There was only love. Only joy.
Then he thrust all thoughts of the child from his mind, brought his mouth to her thighs. He licked and nibbled his way down the length of her leg, pausing at the underside of her knee, laughing when she shivered as he slid her silk stockings down to her ankles, as he journeyed ever lower.
He could feel his pulse pounding, his heart racing, his sex straining, as he retraced his path along her other leg.
Swift, hot, urgent need sent his shoulders between her knees, his lips searching through her soft curls, his tongue tasting her arousal, his fingers joining his tongue, stroking, laving, until she convulsed against him, until she cried out her sweet words, "I love you."
He pulled her into his arms, cradled her against his chest, breathed deeply to ease his thundering heart.
I want to please you," she said, her voice sultry and low, her eyes glazed, her hair spilling erotically over his chest.
Her breath fluttered over his still burning skin. "You cannot please me any more than you already have-"
Her hand circled his erection, fingertips lightly stroking over the sensitive tip, then down to the base. His skin coiled tightly with each tentative stroke. All hope of protest slipped from his mind. She did not need him to teach her the tempo, the rhythm, the tension, she learned by his grunts and moans.
She destroyed his control. He wanted to spread her legs wide, lift her thighs over his hips, and drive himself deep inside her body, wanted her sheathing him when he came, but he feared hurting the babe. Lost to sensation, to want, to need, to love, he shoved his fingers through her soft hair, waiting until his climax was nearly upon him before
dragging her lips to his. "I love you"
Chapter Thirty
Rachel was travel weary, covered with dust, her arms and legs aching from long days spent in a jostling carriage. The last thing she wanted was to see the man she loved fondling his wife in the breakfast room of Wexton Manor. The sound of lip-sucking kisses seemed incongruous amidst the scents of scones and clotted cream. He must be out of his mind!
She wished she had a whip. She would strip the skin from his backside until he came to his senses-and that was before he stepped away from his wife. Leah's loosely flowing woolen frock could not hide the advanced state of her swollen belly.
The bile rising in Rachel's throat nearly choked her. The air around her grew so cold, as if the windows were thrown open to the wind. Even the breath within her lungs seemed frozen.
She started to shake, but she needed time to think.
So she gritted her teeth, whipped on a smile, and walked with quiet dignity into the room. "We have found you at last."
The color drained from Leah's face until her cheeks were as pale as the frost dusting the windows. She was afraid, and well she should be. Richard wasn't afraid, though. His narrow-eyed glare could melt the frozen ground.
"Come make your curtsy to your uncle," Rachel called over her shoulder as she untied her bonnet, which she handed to a footman, along with her fur muff and wrinkled blue cloak.
Clattering footsteps echoed out in the entry before Alison came charging into the room, her nurse racing to keep up with her. Richard caught Alison against his chest. Her gay laughter mingled with his as he swung her high in the air, her wool cloak swinging out around her feet.
He set the child down in front of his wife. "Say good morning to your Aunt Leah"
Rachel waited in breathless anticipation for Alison to toss hate-filled words at Leah, as she had back at the house. When her daughter rushed into Leah's arms, exchanged whispered words of love and apology, Rachel bit back a scream.
Not only was that harlot scheming to steal her man, she was scheming to steal her daughter too. Rachel would not let her win, but she needed a plan. Her last attempt had been a disaster. She had believed all she needed was to remind Richard of the passion that had raged between them, so she had slipped into his bed. She should never have done that, she could see that now. Not until he was ready to accept her love, to admit that he loved her still. But the temptation had been too hard to resist. She had wanted him so badly and for so long. Before she could see him again, he had fled Town to escape her. Now this!
What could she do? He was far too noble to abandon his wife while she was heavy with his child. Even after the birth, the child's presence would connect them for life.
If all that weren't bad enough, they were stuck on the coast of Cornwall, with its windswept cliffs, its slate gray sky, its distance from London, with nothing to distract him, no society worth mentioning, no business to take him away from his wife.
"Richard, this child is hot," Leah said, her lips pressed up against Alison's brow.
He touched the back of his hand to Alison's cheek. "Mrs. Parrish, Lady Alison is ill. Did you fail to notice?"
"No, sir. I told Her Grace we ought not to travel."
"See that the physician is sent for, at once" He waited until the servant carried Alison from the room before approaching Rachel. She had to lock her knees to keep from retreating.
"I shall have your explanation for this stupidity"
She peeled off her gloves, forced a nonchalance into her tone. "It is a cold, Richard. Nothing more, nothing less. The child constantly has a cold. I cannot possibly wait for her to feel well every time I wish to travel."
"Then you should have left her in London with Geoffrey."
"Nonsense," Rachel sniffed. "Alison goes wherever I go and she always will."
"Only at my discretion," he said, his voice, a low, dangerous growl as he leaned toward her. "If you ever do anything this foolish again, I will remove her from your care. And lest you think me less than serious, let me reassure you. I will start a scandal that will rock the ton for years to come, and you will never recover."
When he was standing this close, she could smell his skin and yearning churned within her stomach, made her legs weaken and her pulse beat a frantic rhythm in her ears. How long would he keep up this pretense? How long would he pretend not to care?
"You would not dare," she said, longing to lay her palm against his cheek, to lick her tongue over his lips, to stroke his manly flesh. She swallowed. "What of your precious Alison?"
"Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to shout to the world that she is mine. Then I would reap a double benefit, for I would be free of you as well."
Rachel glanced at Leah to see if she had heard his words, but the stupid chit had moved to the far end of the room, no doubt to give them privacy for their conversation.
She breathed deeply, uncertain how to reply, how far to push him. She was saved from having to answer when Harris entered the room and strode to Richard's side. She moved a little closer, studied the warm sienna silk paper hanging the walls as if she'd never seen it before.
"Mr. Enderson of Bow Street has arrived, Your Grace. He awaits you in your office," the butler said.
"Excellent. I will join him shortly"
Though her heart was racing and her breathing shallow, Rachel drew upon years of training to maintain her serene countenance and even tone of voice. "Why do you need a runner?"
"A business matter," he said, but she could see the lie in his eyes. Why had he hired a Bow Street Runner? Had she made a mistake? Did he suspect? How could he? Too much time had passed.
No proof would exist at this late date.
He murmured something to his wife before leaving the room.
Rachel listened to his footsteps recede down the hall before approaching Leah, who was watching Rachel through placid eyes, seemingly unaware of her danger.
She folded her arms across the shelf of her distended belly.
Rachel followed the movement, then dragged her gaze to the mullioned windows, to the view of the lawn sloping down toward the trees. Anything to keep her thoughts off the child. "So, you have reconciled with your husband, have you? Did he happen to mention-"
"Stop," Leah said, holding up one hand. "If you think to shock me by blurting out that Alison is Richard's daughter, save yourself the trouble. I know the sordid story, and you know, I pity you. So desperate for the man you threw away, you had to climb into his bed when he was insensible from drink just to have him. You ruined his life, and you shamed his brother"
She pities me? Rachel almost laughed, the stupid fool. "We have been together these few months past. Did he tell you that?"
Rachel leaned toward Leah, lowered her voice. "No, I see he did not. It was me he wanted and me he had. He was hot and heavy and huge. He took me and took me, in your bed in the London house" She looked pointedly at Leah's swollen belly. "If he hadn't learned of your conception, we would be together still. It seems he won his bargain with your father, after all."
Leah shook her head. "I honestly feel sorry for you"
"Save your pity for yourself," Rachel said. "It's me he loves and he always will. We share a past. We share a history."
Leah smiled. "Do you want to know the funny thing about the past, Rachel? It is over. Finished. Dead. It is the present and future that have yet to be written. You may share a history with Richard .... She ran her hand over her belly. "But we are his future"
The nerve of the insolent chit!
Rachel glanced at the sidebar, saw the carving knife resting on the breadboard. Her fingers itched to grab it, to plunge it over and over again in the middle of Leah's overgrown stomach.
She resisted the urge. She needed to think!
And then Richard was back. He ignored Rachel as he crossed to Leah's side, took her hands in his, pressed them to his lips.
"Something has come up," he said. "I must leave."
She clutched his fingers. "Is it Geo
ffrey? Is he well?"
He kissed the back of her hands, lingering over her knuckles. Rachel thought she might retch.
"It is nothing for you to worry about, my love. Merely a business matter. Still, I would rest easier if I could delay my departure until Alison recovers from her cold."
"Do not worry about Alison," Leah said. "I shall see she is cared for."
"You forget she has a mother to see to her needs," Rachel said with dripping sweetness. "Do go on, Richard. You know I would never let anything happen to your daughter."
He did not respond to her taunt. Instead, he gathered his wife in his arms and gave her a kiss so fierce and so hot, Rachel wanted to dump the water pitcher over his head.
Unable to bear the sight of the man she loved in another woman's arms, but determined not to show it, Rachel turned and walked with icy dignity from the room.
"Uncle Richard is home," Alison said, running into the crimson drawing room.
Her cheeks were red from trotting down the stairs. Her hair springing free from her plaits, she grabbed the stitchery from Leah's hands and tugged until Leah stood and accompanied her to the windows. She pointed down the long tree-lined drive. A moment later, the coach came into view.
"See, there. I told you"
"Indeed, you did." Leah laughed as she slipped her arm around Alison's shoulders, but her smile quickly died as a spasm clenched her womb. She breathed deeply, careful not to let her discomfort show on her features. She wiped her hand across her brow, surprised to find it damp with perspiration.
She had thought she would have another month to prepare, but the midwife had told her this morning she didn't think this babe would wait that long, given the position of the child so low in the belly, and the sporadic pains plaguing Leah's back.
The woman had assured her there was nothing to fear, that many babes came a few weeks early, and many came a few weeks late. Leah didn't want to admit it, but she was afraid.
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