by B. T. Narro
If she got to her horse, she could ride fast enough so that…no, there were too many pyforial mages, archers, and bastial mages. It would be impossible for her to get away.
She would wait for the night. She could use bastial energy to light her path.
Now she needed to bide her time for a few more hours.
The luminary kissed the top of her head. He was old enough to be her father. Surely, he could understand if she politely refused, couldn’t he?
Then she remembered the way the rest of his underlings looked at him. They longed for his touch. She would arouse suspicion, but it was worth the risk.
“I would like to see what else the gods want me to see,” she tried.
“There are many hours for that.” He brought his lips onto hers. It took all of her strength not to recoil.
Hells, how can I stop this? She imagined him removing her clothes and laying on top of her. The thought terrified her.
Fear—could she make him afraid? No, it would require just as much manipulation as making him reject her in disgust.
He grabbed the back of her head, trying to coax her into kissing him back. After what seemed an eternity, he moved his mouth to her neck instead.
The feel of his prickly beard, mixed with his suckling lips, sent a terrible feeling down her neck. She could feel a scream bubbling up.
The substance made everything worse. She suffered like a caged animal poked with sticks by its malicious owner. She felt the pain of a wife whose abusive husband had promised never to strike her again but was now raising his hand in anger.
She couldn’t handle it.
Cedri stepped away. No words came to explain herself as he stared back blankly.
“I…”
I don’t want to do this. But she couldn’t say that. Every woman in the PCQ would swoon at the opportunity.
“When were you recruited?” he asked, suspicion thick in his voice.
She thought of possibly the only thing she could tell him to end this. “I’m honored to be chosen by you, but I’ve found the pork has gone straight through me and I must relieve myself. Immediately.”
Finally, the lust faded back to simple attraction. She took hold of it, bending it even farther away.
“Then we’ll reconvene later,” he said, then promptly left her alone among the trees.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CEDRI
The trees cooed a soft melody. She no longer could feel the drum beat of her heart. Her relief was sweet, and she sank down until her cheek rested on the dirt. Shutting her eyes, she listened to the symphony around her. Night, and her chance to escape, drew closer with each passing moment.
After a while, she became worried the luminary might come looking for her. Emerging from the trees, she realized no eyes were on her. She glanced at the stretch of half sand and half grass that led to her only exit, unless she were to go all the way around the lake. Someone would see her leaving no matter which path she chose.
She couldn’t flee now anyway. Without a horse, it was unlikely she would reach the army in time.
The best place to hide until night was among them. She joined the pack of hundreds sitting by the water. They were oddly quiet, murmuring to the lake before them as if having a conversation. None seemed to be close enough to hear each other except a few couples huddled together. A fair number had taken some clothing off, but only a few were completely nude.
She found some space to sit between two women. The deep blue water began to move before her eyes, sloshing just beyond her outstretched feet. The rest stayed tranquil.
The woman to Cedri’s left stood to leave and murmured, “I will, god of life.”
Cedri’s heart thumped as she looked back to the roiling water before her. A whispery voice came out. “Cedri…”
“Oh hells.”
The water rose and splashed as if something large was emerging from beneath. “Cedri…”
I’m just imagining this, she told herself, worried to say it aloud in case the water might reply.
Something massive rose out, though it was hidden by the cascading water. The sight pulled a scream up from her stomach. She scampered backward on her palms and heels as water fell from the shoulders of a giant woman.
“Stop,” she commanded Cedri, her voice echoing ominously. The woman’s skin was as blue as the water falling away from her naked body. She looked strangely familiar.
“Hells…mother?”
“I’m not your mother.” Lake water bubbled around the woman’s feet. “But I am of your mother and of yourself.”
“The god of life?” The question was a trick, though. Cedri already knew this couldn’t be a god.
The woman gave a disappointed sigh. “You know that’s not true.”
“I do know that!” Cedri didn’t realize she was shouting through a laugh and thrusting her finger at the water until she noticed the stare from the remaining woman beside her. She took a moment to gather herself. “Then what are you?”
“You know that as well.”
Of course I do, she realized. I’m imagining this, so it’s me. But if that were the case, then why did she feel the need to stay and listen? She could speak to herself anywhere at anytime.
A small part of her wondered if there was something more in this vision, some outside force.
While growing up, her every dealing with her mother involved asking or answering a question. But when she’d last seen her mother, they’d finally had a true conversation. They’d spoken of Callyn, of war, of murder. They’d wept and hugged. They’d ached with regret, knowing their past could’ve been more joyous. It was neither of their faults yet both of their faults at the same time. Cedri had promised to return, though she’d cried when she realized that she had no intention of going back.
“You’re jealous,” the woman’s image told her.
“Of who?”
“Neeko and Shara.”
Cedri shook her head. “I just find their affection annoying. I’m not jealous.”
“I speak not of their affection but of them. Of who they are.”
In the same way Cedri had felt the PCQs were dogs, she now realized there was a deeper layer to her allies as well. She let her mind expand in order to figure out what it was. Who were Neeko and Shara? Why would she envy them?
“It’s not because they have each other,” Cedri whispered, careful not to let anyone nearby hear her. “I don’t care about that.”
“Then think about what you do care about.”
The answer came quickly—to win the war, but her desires were a murky lake and winning the war was floating, easy to pick out. Why did she want to win the war? What would she do after? What else did she want? She hadn’t given herself a chance to figure out much since Charlotte’s death.
Her life used to have one direction: serving in the army with Callyn. She’d obtained that goal the moment she became an adult, but it couldn’t fulfill her anymore.
“I don’t know what I care about,” she admitted softly.
The ominous woman folded her arms and glanced around at the others talking to the lake. Water gurgled around her feet as she moved her head. “You would kill all these people if you had the chance.”
Cedri took a look in each direction. Gritting her teeth, she murmured, “Because they’re enemies.”
“Enemies of Neeko and Shara, of the Northern army, but are they your enemies? How can they be when you don’t even know why you fight anymore?”
Cedri almost fled. In fact, she couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t removing herself from this conversation.
She was, in essence, speaking to herself, she realized. She couldn’t run from it.
“I don’t enjoy being tested,” she said.
“It doesn’t matter whether you enjoy it. When Charlotte died, your test began.”
Hells, she knew this. She knew all of this. She’d just never thought about it.
“Ponder your envy,” the woman instructed.
Neeko and Shara’s test began when their homes were destroyed. All of their choices since then have led to ending this war. Once it’s over, they’re leaving forever. They’re coming to the end of their test.
“My test has no end in sight,” she said.
The woman gestured toward her and water rippled out onto the sand, flowing around Cedri’s feet. “Because there’s no life waiting for you when this is over.”
“There’s Ovira if I want to go.”
“There’s nothing more for you in Ovira than there is here. Terren doesn’t like you. You have no family there. You know nothing about the land or its history. Worst of all, you’re scared.”
Cedri bit down on her quivering lip, holding back tears as a fit of sadness stuck her hard. Her mother’s harshest upbraids had come when she was a young child, when she was scared of everything unknown, clinging to Callyn’s leg whenever forced to meet new people and refusing to sleep without a lamp in her bedroom for fear of what lingered in the dark.
She was seven when her father died. For years after, she would cry because she missed him, but more so because she was terrified at the thought of Callyn or her mother being next.
She despised fear now. Nothing made her feel weaker. It was one reason she was here, doing the most terrifying thing she’d ever done. She should’ve been proud, but she couldn’t be. Not when she realized there was much more to fear.
Realizing this was all she could handle.
She jumped up and began to flee before she heard something else that would add to her terror.
“Will you think of me again?”
“No.”
The woman called Cedri a coward as she ran.
Cedri went toward the roaring fire where the majority of PCQs congregated. She sat among those not dancing to hide herself from the luminary.
“Cedri!” a powerful voice called out. It wasn’t the luminary, thank the gods. But who could know her name? She looked around and found no one.
“Cedri!” it called again.
She looked above the fire to find a man made of red flames…who resembled her father…completely naked.
Oh hells, no. She got up and walked away, ignoring his calls for her to stop and speak with him.
*****
It took two hours for night to come and then another hour for the fire to fade and the PCQs to finally fall asleep on the sand. There were always a few roaming, though, and a few whispering, and twice she heard someone vomiting not far away from their group.
She waited patiently for her chance, sleeping among her enemies, continuing to see things that weren’t there—mostly faces in the darkness.
There was no chance to leave with her horse. The size and sound of the animal would alert them of her departure. But a boat might be silent enough.
The boats were docked at the end of the lake. Cedri made her way out from the group as if she needed to relieve herself, then checked over her shoulder. No one was watching.
Soon she was far enough from the campfire that there would be no believable excuse she could give if she was seen. Running now, she hurtled into the closest boat and lay flat on her back.
Cedri listened, but all she could hear was her own panicked breathing. She held her breath. Nothing. If they’d seen her, they weren’t shouting to awaken each other. She sat up for a glimpse, then quickly darted down.
It took several long minutes for her to gather her courage. She would need to paddle to get to the river on the other side of the lake. Once she made it there, they couldn’t catch her. She’d seen some of the river on the way to the lake. It often twisted away from the rocky land where horses couldn’t go. They wouldn’t catch up.
She thought of how easy it would be to destroy all the boats and realized it must be done. Unfortunately, the only method available would be loud enough to wake even the drunkest of her enemies. Oh hells.
She sucked in a breath and began walking around the boats, pouring a few drops from Steffen’s “combust” potion onto each of them. There were a few hundred, each large enough to fit four passengers comfortably and six uncomfortably.
She was careful to spread the golden liquid evenly, only a few drops per vessel. But she was even more careful not to get any on herself. Even if Steffen had exaggerated his explanation to Shara, it sounded like there was no substance more dangerous around fire than this.
She only had enough to douse about fifty boats. At least they were grouped together.
It was time to go. She heaved out a nervous breath and then slowly dragged a clean boat into the water. The sound of her shoes clattering against the wood seemed deafening in her ears. She cursed and grabbed the paddles, ready to flee for her life. But a look proved no one was coming.
Her first stroke hardly moved her. She stayed patient, quietly rowing toward the opposite side of the enormous lake.
She panted from fright. Her moist hands squeezed hard to keep the paddles from slipping. She had to go faster.
So she did, risking more noise of sloshing water. After a few more strokes, she was too far to see the land where they slept. Relieved, she took a long breath as she drew her wand. The boats were barely still in sight, unrecognizable shapes at the edge of the water.
She’d practiced distance shooting for years before she’d switched her focus to psyche. She trusted in her ability, at least far more than she trusted her rowing skill.
As she held up her wand, a voice urged her not to risk her life. You’ve already done enough, it added.
I have, she agreed and slipped the wand back into the holder on her belt.
But leaving the boats undamaged means they can use them for another plan.
She drew her wand again. She didn’t want to alert them. Hells, how she cringed at the thought. This was part of her test. She could shoot the boats and escape. Her chances were good.
She muttered a curse and put her wand back. Her mind was set.
She called herself a coward, then silently bid goodbye to her horse and wished the animal good health, hoping the PCQs treated it with care. She’d never named it, for she always knew she would part with the animal eventually. Just like she’d parted with everything else in her life.
According to the luminary, it would take two days on the river before she reached the bridge. Then it probably would take a day more to find the approaching army. It wouldn’t be so bad if she had some company.
She sighed as she realized how much she longed for Steffen to share the boat ride with her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SHARA
The cold air had begun to make Shara shiver. “We should change our clothes,” she said, then frowned when she realized all of Neeko’s extra garments had been in his bag. “Let me see if I have anything that will fit you.”
Neeko, shivering himself, formed a hopeful look.
It didn’t take long for Shara to realize she only had one thing that would work: her white chemise. As soon as Neeko saw it, he shook his head.
“There must be something else.”
“Nothing that will fit around your shoulders.” Without a collar, her chemise hung loosely from the tops of her arms when worn, and its sleeves were cavernous. It was better than nothing. “No one will see.”
“You’ll see.”
“I won’t laugh.”
“You will.”
“Only for a moment.”
He changed into it and then twisted his wet shirt in his hands, squeezing out as much water as he could. When he was done, he looped it around his belt and let the chemise fall back over it. Then he turned and posed for Shara, extending his hands and waiting for her reaction.
She laughed. “You are quite pretty,” she teased. As broad as his shoulders were, the fabric hung from them effeminately. The chemise billowed loosely over his chest, concealing his figure as if he were a boy wearing a man’s shirt. But his arms were a stark contrast, for the sleeves didn’t go down all the way to his wrists. They hid his muscles up near his shoulders, but his thic
k wrists were bare, as well as his dirty hands, belying the rest of his delicate appearance.
Neeko shivered less as they walked, though he still trembled from time to time. Shara took his hand and felt ice. She put her arm around his waist.
They walked in silence as night fast approached. It would be cold, the howling wind already picking up.
Between rows of trees, Shara thought she saw something hanging from the branches of one in particular. “One moment,” she told Neeko, opening her bag to remove her seescope. “I think I see something.”
Around fifty yards out was a man wearing the blue uniform of the North. He looked close to twenty years old, young and scared. His wrists were bound with rope that extended to the branches, keeping him a foot off the ground. Around his waist was more rope, holding him to the trunk itself.
Below him were two diymas. The little creatures appeared to be injured, both with cuts on their stomachs and chests. They hobbled around the panicked army man, shooting spears of green sartious energy up from their hands as if signaling for others. All the while, the army man kicked in a futile attempt to break free.
Shara described what she saw as she handed the seescope to Neeko.
“Presumably that man had something to do with the diyma massacre,” she said. “Jaymes had him tied and left to the diymas.”
“To be killed?” Neeko seemed surprised.
“Or whatever they want to do to him—as justice.”
He gave her back the seescope. “We should go before we’re seen.”
“I agree.”
As she put her seescope into her bag, she heard a light patter of footsteps behind her. She froze, as did Neeko. Two hells, don’t let that be diymas. She slowly turned.
A line of diymas blocked them. The creatures descended from the trees in every direction.
They were surrounded before Shara had taken her next breath.
Symbols of sartious energy formed above many of the diymas’ heads. They remained only for the span of a heartbeat before dispersing like steam.
“Don’t move yet,” she told Neeko, realizing the creatures were communicating. “I think they’re trying to figure out what to do with us.”