“Go away, Meri,” she whispered.
Her brother, seeing her tears, began to retreat. For some reason, he didn’t like her tears, yet the tears of others he rarely minded.
“I hear Lord and Lady Ganden leave in a few days and that you are to remain here,” Meri said, finally revealing the reason that he’d finally approached. “I’ll come call on you while they’re gone.”
“Don’t. I… I’m a servant there, Meri. You can’t visit.”
“I will,” he vowed. “And then we’ll play with your pretty friends.” He walked away then.
Nora rushed to the private library, taking the servants’ stairs to get there and in order to avoid the eyes of the ton. She knew there was a mirror in the library and that she’d be alone there. She knew the Duke of Astlen’s home well, having visited often. She needed to see herself before she could rejoin Lucy.
She found the library’s door closed and went inside.
Alone, she sighed, and just in case Meri thought to follow, she locked the door.
Then she went to the mirror. Her eyes had a dark tint underneath, but aside from that, she looked well enough.
But inside, she was in pain.
All that golden hair. The sun blooms from her head.
Nora tightened her fists at her side.
Worry had her body shaking. There was pressure and tension in every part of her. She wanted to collapse.
She was so distracted in her thoughts that she screamed when hands landed on her shoulders.
∫ ∫ ∫
0 5
* * *
Garrick turned Nora around and, without thought, pressed his hand to her mouth. He couldn’t help but notice how soft it was against his palm. Her breath was warm. Her skin smooth. Her eyes were wide and remained so even as the fear slowly bled from her eyes.
She took his wrist and lowered his hand. “What are you doing in here?”
He could ask her the same. He’d come here to be alone. Discussions grew heated easily when Parliament was in session and since Garrick neither cared for the subject nor to try and keep up with the discussion, he made a hasty retreat. Andreas’ presence allowed him to have more conventional conversations, but when voices and tempers rose, no one wanted to wait to see what a mute had to say.
“I mean…” She looked down. “Forgive me, my lord. You have every right to be here. I’ll leave you the room.”
He stuck out a hand and blocked her retreat.
She looked up at him.
“You can call me Garrick.”
Her cheeks colored, becoming a darker shade than the dress that had been tempting him and every other lord the entire night. He wasn’t sure how many times he’d had to elbow Clive when he thought his friend’s gaze a little too intent.
“After everything that has taken place, I’m only making certain she’s all right,” Clive had said by way of excuse to the predatory stares he’d been giving Nora. They’d yet to tell the other men that they’d found Nora behind the brothel the previous night. Not yet. Garrick hoped he could learn the truth on his own before he revealed that he’d even recognized her the other night.
“I can’t call you that,” she said, reading his hands. He was impressed by her knowledge. He’d signed with little hope she would grasp what he meant.
“If it is me you are addressing, then I believe it is only my permission you need.”
She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “I suppose you are right.” Yet she still didn’t say his name. “What are you doing here? You’re not hiding, are you?” She regarded him with a pinched brow.
“I have been caught. Hiding is exactly what I’m doing.”
“Why? You belong here just as much as anyone else, more than anyone else.” The anger was evident on her face. “You’re Lord Astlen’s friend. You’ve no reason to hide.”
There was too much there for Garrick to analyze. Too much concern in her eyes for him to not be moved. He turned the conversation back to where he felt most comfortable.
“Why are you hiding?” Or rather, who was she hiding from?
She jumped with a start. “I’m not hiding. I only needed a mirror.”
“There was one in the parlor,” he said.
She crossed her arms. “Perhaps, I wished to be alone and this room… It’s the loveliest room the house.”
He looked around the library and then back at her. “This is Selena’s favorite room as well.” Selena was Lady Astlen. Marley had built it with her in mind. The deep tones, dark furnishings, and the fact that it was far from the common rooms gave it an intimate and romantic charm.
Nora’s expression softened as she gazed around. “We were like sisters once.”
“Who?”
His voice startled her. He always spoke best when he was at peace. Seeing Nora’s face relax settled him. He’d also had his fair share of spirits through the night, which helped him manage greatly.
“Selena and me,” she whispered. “We were close when we were young.”
He hadn’t known. Selena had come into their lives a year ago, but before that, she and Astlen had shared a past, one that had included a baby they’d lost. “You kn-knew Astlen?”
Nora shook her head. “No, he came along after she and I…” Her words trailed off, and her eyes grew sad.
“Wh… What ha…” He sighed and lifted his hands.
She covered them and smiled. “No, don’t. I like your voice.” She laughed, embarrassed, and took back her hands far sooner than he’d have liked. “I don’t mind it if it takes you some time. There’s no rush.”
There was a rush in his chest. His heart pounded for attention.
She liked his voice.
It was a simple confession, yet it may as well have been filthy with how his body had responded. “I… like y-your voice… as well.”
She closed her eyes, and her lips turned up higher, almost as if she were reminiscing on his words. Her expression was so soft and inviting. He wanted it embedded on his skin and in his memory, and he only knew one way to get it.
Garrick tried to stop himself, but he’d likely had far too much to drink and Nora was far too compelling. His hand went around the back of her neck, and he dipped his head toward hers.
* * *
Nora opened her eyes when she felt something soft brush across her lips. It couldn’t have been Garrick’s hand again. His gloves had been smooth, but this felt…
She took a breath and held it when the feeling of being plunged underwater overcame her. His blue eyes were closer than they’d ever been, and he was touching her with his lips. Kissing her. Her fingers trembled and wrapped around his hips. There was pressure at the back of her neck. His hand trapped her in place, but she made no move to run.
The simple touches he was giving her and the intensity he watched her with had her blood rushing through her limbs and pooling low in her belly.
She let out a sigh of wonder. She hadn’t known just how much she’d missed this intimacy until he had presented it to her.
He’d yet to release her lips. She could taste the faintness of spirits on his lips. She’d had wine herself, but the aroma that filled her lungs from him was darker. Brandy perhaps. He kept her captive, with his hand and his gaze, as he stroked his mouth over hers, gently, coaxing need and permission from her.
She pulled him closer, and she parted her lips wider. He groaned in acceptance of her offering and slipped his tongue between her lips. His every stroke was like tinder to the flames of desire he built within her.
She wanted him closer. In a rush, she began to devour his mouth with a burning fever. Her grip tightened, begging him to not let her go, begging him for more. Her need was close to painful. His lips were hot on her, his tongue scoring her flesh as he stroked against hers in a rhythm she recalled from long ago.
She felt heaviness grow within her, but then suddenly she was lighter, could breathe. It took her a moment to realize her stays were loose, and she gasped and then she began to fight. He
r hands caught her bodice just in time. “What are you doing?”
Garrick turned his face away, but his hand remained behind her neck. The other— the offending hand that had begun to undress her—now rested innocently at her hip. His eyes mirrored her words. He seemed confused and angry.
He looked her over and then slowly backed away. “I…I… I…” He closed his mouth and moved farther back, nearly tripping over himself as if trying to escape.
Was he that greatly appalled by her? She knew her body was not like the young slim women he was used to at the brothel. The despair in his eyes hurt, but she covered it in anger. “I am not a whore, my lord.”
His eyes were at her bodice, staring at it as though he couldn’t believe what he’d done. Wasn’t this the man everyone claimed to be a true rake? His expression held disgust. Perhaps, he didn’t want her after all.
His lifted his gaze. “Forgive me. I—”
She turned away. She didn’t want to read the apology in his hands or his eyes. “I believe it best we pretend this never happened. That should be easy enough for you.” Even this night, it was more likely that he’d sleep at the brothel than his own home.
“Nora,” he called. But could say no more. His words tangled. He was no longer calm. “I…”
“Please leave.”
He approached her and touched her arm, but she turned away from him.
She glared up at him. “Never touch me again.” He was disgusted by her. Therefore, she saw no reason he’d ignore her request. She should have known he didn’t want her. Clearly, he’d drunk more than he should have. Her eyes burned, and she turned to stare at the wall, anywhere but at him and his deft hands.
She was angry with him but angrier with herself. What had she been thinking to tell him that she liked his voice? He’d likely seen her as an easy conquest. He’d have forgotten all about her in the morning. Yet there was no way to avoid her. They saw one another far too frequently for that to happen. If she’d laid with him, she’d never have forgotten the experience, no matter the lack of love from either of them. She only hoped they’d both be able to forget the kiss.
From the corner of her vision, she watched his fists clench. He was frustrated. She could ignore him if she wished, since he couldn’t speak. Guilt pricked at her heart. It was unfair to treat him this way, but she didn’t face him. She couldn’t. She couldn’t allow him to see how greatly hurt she was.
A growl ruptured through the room, so fierce and inhuman that Nora blanched. She spun around as Garrick marched from the room. He slammed the door. The wood shook and then the silence returned.
Nora rushed to the bell to ring for a maid, thought about the events of the night, and decided it all served a purpose. Her resolve had been renewed. Her mind awakened. She needed to bring Meri to justice for his actions from the past and then she’d leave London. Lord and Lady Ganden and Garrick would all become a part of her and Miriam’s past very soon.
∫ ∫ ∫
0 6
* * *
Nora stared at herself in the mirror the next morning and turned in a full circle. Then she stepped back and looked over the reflection of her skirts. She couldn’t see the gun. She was wearing a deep violet muslin, which she thought hid the bulge of the handle quite well. She thought it so well hidden that she was beginning to consider getting another. Just in case.
Her heart leaped, and she pressed her fingers to her throat, begging her body to calm, but it refused her request. She knew why she was so anxious. She’d been safe for two years, but last night Meri had approached her.
Shame colored her face. She hated herself most days, but there was little she could do about it. There was no time to wallow in self-pity. She had someone else to live for now. Miriam, her sweet child. She’d do anything for her, including live and fight.
Nora took one slow breath after another and then left the room to start her day.
She found the children in the nursery. George was with his tutor, Mr. Quick. Miriam sat in a corner, reading, but Nora could tell she was paying attention to George’s lesson. She always did. She was fascinated with the things boys could learn. She’d taken well to mathematics. Nora had seen her create her own equations and work them out once Mr. Quick left. Often, George helped her.
Miriam had curled into her favorite place by the window. Her hair hung wildly around her slim body like a waterfall made of sun rays. She glanced up at Nora as she saw her enter, smiled, and then looked back down at her book.
It wasn’t their relationship that made Nora think Miriam one of the most beautiful girls in the world. She was beautiful. A little too much so. With all that blond hair and those innocent large blue eyes, Nora worried about her daily.
Anything could happen.
Meri could find her.
“Nora, you always pick the most beautiful friends.”
Nora’s stomach tightened at the memory. Those words had left his lips repeatedly over the years. Last evening, they’d been about Lucy. She’d told Meri to leave her alone. She didn’t bother warning him about what would happen if he even thought to touch a piece of lint from the woman’s skirts.
Lord Ganden would kill him.
That was who Nora had chosen to be her protector, though Ganden didn’t realize it. He was the terrible and furious Earl of Ganden. Everyone thought him a beast of a man. More animal than gentleman, capable of anything. London whispered that he may have killed a man or two in his past.
Nora didn’t know if that were true, but a friend had assured her that Ganden had never struck a woman. Nora’s friend Johanna had called Ganden rougher than most, but by no means was he a monster.
Nora had to agree. She knew what monsters looked like. She used a connection of hers to get the position in his home, a lady who happened to be his neighbor and an old friend of Nora’s.
There was no safer place in London than in Ganden’s home. Who would dare cross him?
No one.
Nora watched Miriam for another moment and suspected the girl wasn’t actually reading. Miriam had yet to turn a page.
“Nora,” Lucy said as she came down the hall. Her golden eyes shined with open warmth. “You’re not needed here. You know Miriam never gives Mr. Quick any issues. Then Liz will get her later. Come sit in the drawing room with me. We’ve some guests coming later.” Liz was Lucy’s nursemaid for baby Alvin, their firstborn. It had been decided that Liz would watch Miriam as well and that Miriam would begin to receive her own lessons. Nora had insisted on paying for it, had been forced to fight for the right. Lord and Lady Ganden paid her very well and tended to forget that.
Nora closed the door on the nursey and followed Lucy down the hall. “I doubt anyone wishes to visit with your governess.”
“You’re only the governess for another week or so.” Lucy continued to face forward. There was intent in her every step. She was a gorgeous petite woman with dark blond hair and a captivating spirit. “Don’t you think it’s time to enter Society once more?”
Nora was caught off guard. “As your companion?”
“You’re not my companion. I already told you that. And either way, I don’t see you here for along.”
Nora’s heart fell. She could not afford to lose her position in Lucy’s home. She’d become a second lady’s maid or a scullery maid if she had to. She couldn’t leave. Not yet. “What do you mean?”
They’d entered Lucy’s drawing room, a pale green and white space, when Lucy said, “I imagine you’ll marry soon.”
Nora stiffened and then relaxed. “I won’t, I assure you.” She smiled as she sat by Lucy and jumped to fix her skirts. They were sliding with the weight of the gun. How was she supposed to carry it? “There’s no need to worry about such a thing taking place. I am all yours.”
Lucy laughed. “Oh, Nora, but you must wed. You’re one of the sweetest women I know and quite beautiful. Any gentleman would have you, I’m sure.”
“No gentleman wants an impoverished widow with a daughter,
neither do they want some lady’s former governess.”
“You forget that I was disguised as a maid when Kent and I met. Also, Selena was a companion before she married Marley.” Marley Bing was the Duke of Astlen.
And many, many years ago, Selena had been Nora’s greatest friend. They’d been as close as sisters until Nora pushed her away for her own good. Breaking Selena’s heart had broken a part of hers.
She’d never expected Selena to be part of her life again, but with Kent and Marley being so close, it was impossible for the two to ignore each other.
And over the last year, Nora had regained a large part of her friendship with Selena. Of course, there were secrets Nora would never share, but Nora was glad that their differences had been settled for the most part. When Nora left London, she’d be glad to know she’d made things right with Selena. At first, she’d worried about seeing Selena again, but now Nora was happy for her and Marley’s marriage, because he’d brought them together.
Nora never called any of Ganden’s friends by their first names, thought Miriam did so freely, addressing them all as her uncles though Nora had told her they were not. After that, Nora had let it go. The men didn’t mind it, and it made Miriam feel included and less like the daughter of the governess.
“You were forced into servitude by a very vile man, and Selena was Lord Astlen’s intended before she ran away and became a companion,” Nora said. “Neither of you count, not really.”
Lucy turned to her. “Do you remember the day Mr. Maltsby tried to come over and take George?”
How could Nora forget the incident? Mr. Maltsby had been George’s elder brother. He’d never cared for the boy though. He’d only wished to use him as a pawn against Kent and Lucy.
He’d come over on a day Lucy and Kent had been out and demanded the boy. He’d had papers that said his father had made him George’s guardian. As the governess, there had been little Nora could do, but she’d tried. She’d delayed Mr. Maltsby as long as she could.
“Had you not fought for my boy, he would likely not be here,” Lucy said.
Wounds of A Viscount: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 4