“We’re all here,” Kent said from his seat. “Tell us what’s going on, Nora, and leave no detail out. If you claim someone is in danger, we need to know.”
Nora looked at him and nodded. “I’d like to apologize again for—”
“No more apologies,” Marley said, “I doubt you brought this upon yourself. Just tell us what happened.” They all seemed anxious to know.
Nora fiddled with her shawl again. She saw Garrick stiffen and then looked to where his eyes had landed. Her arm was still bandaged unnecessarily, but the sight of it had caused a reaction. Perhaps, Garrick’s indifference was not complete. There was a chance he still cared for her after all. “You have to understand, my brother is not well in his mind. Since I can remember, it has always been this way. He was always one way with others and completely different with me.”
“Different how?” Kent asked.
“He became like a child when we were alone. At first, I thought it was because I was a child and he was simply trying to entertain me, but as I got older, it didn’t change. Meri likes to play and becomes nearly whimsical when we’re alone, but he is not that way with others.” She paused and thought. “When I was fifteen, my friends and I decided to play hide and seek. We knew we were a little too old for the game, but my friend Johanna’s little sister Lettie was with us and had no one else to play with. So, we decided to play with her.”
The room was quiet as she went on. “We never found Lettie. Almost every footman in London searched for her, but she was never found. Some thought that she fell into the Serpentine while others thought she ran away and would show up later. It was a terrible time.”
“I think I recall that story,” James said. He stood in his usual position by the window. “It was Lord and Lady Ruckley’s child, was it not?”
Nora nodded.
“I recall that story as well,” Marley said. “It was terrible. Nothing like it had ever occurred.” He shared a couch with her and turned to face her fully. “You think your brother responsible for her disappearance?”
“Yes,” Nora said. “And now more than ever. Lettie had been wearing the tiara my brother gave my daughter the day she vanished. It had been her mother’s.” And the moment Miriam had closed her eyes, Nora had taken it off her child. She hadn’t done it before, because she hadn’t wanted to startle Miriam. Now, it sat on Kent’s desk.
Nora glanced at Garrick and found him staring at the tiara. His hands flexed and then tightened into balls and Nora let out a small gasp.
He wasn’t wearing his ring.
Garrick turned to her, looked down at his hand, and then looked at her again. The indifference had returned. He felt no shame at all. He didn’t even bother trying to hide his hand from her sight.
Why had he removed it? Why? Had he been unable to perform with the other women while wearing the symbol of his fidelity?
Pain struck her with a mighty blow. It made it difficult to breathe or think.
Marley placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you all right?”
Nora closed her eyes and nodded, but inside, she was losing her mind. She wanted to shout at Garrick and throw things and say terrible things. She so wanted to cry and beg him never to do it again, but she did nothing. She struggled to right her thoughts.
“Nora?” Marley called.
“I’m all right,” she whispered around the clenching pain in her chest. She fought back her tears, but when it became too much, she stood. “I need a moment. Excuse me.” She left the room and went to the room that had once been hers.
It seemed empty without her trunks and personal things spread out. She closed the door behind her and moved to the bed. Quickly grabbing a pillow, she buried her face into the soft fabric and released the pent-up sob that had been building in her since her husband walked into the house.
He’d removed his ring. That could only mean one thing, couldn’t it? She blamed herself but wouldn’t allow herself to take all the fault. He was responsible for his own actions no matter what she did.
It had taken her years to not take all the fault for Meri and accept that there was little she could do to help him, especially when he always possessed more power than her.
She’d felt powerful with Garrick. Though he never declared himself as completely hers, she’d been sure that they’d been together in every act. For days, there had been very little of anything or anyone else. She’d had Garrick’s undivided attention. For a moment, it was as though she’d had everything. She’d been excited about life again. In days, she’d become convinced that marrying Garrick had been the best decision of her life, not only for her but for Miriam as well. Her honeymoon had been bliss.
And she’d fallen in love, or rather, allowed herself to admit just how she’d been feeling about Garrick for some time.
He’d told her that in spite of how they’d come to be, they could reach for happiness and she’d done just that.
She’d reached for it, grabbed hold of it, and had thought to never let it go.
She’d believed she could change her husband’s nature. Now, she knew herself to have been foolish. The moment there had been trouble, he’d run away.
She never should have trusted him.
She was shocked when the felt the pillow grabbed from her hands. She looked up through her blurred vision to see Garrick. She wanted to tell him that he wasn’t allowed in her room, just as she’d done a week ago, but that was no longer the case. He had every right to her privacy. That was more maddening than anything else.
He was signing, she realized, but she didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. She looked down at her lap.
He grabbed her chin and lifted her face. His mouth came down on hers, and she struck him hard enough to cause a resounding clap across the room.
It startled them both, but Nora recovered quickly. She turned and tried to crawl to the other side of the bed.
Garrick grabbed her around the hips and turned her around.
Her feet shot out to kick him, but they got tangled in her skirts.
Then he fell upon her and crushed her into the bed. His hands grabbed both of hers. He gathered her wrists in one mighty palm and took her chin in the other.
She was trapped but wouldn’t give up. She fought his hold and tried to get up, but her body was no match for his and neither was her will. She was angry, but disappointment had weakened her. Sadness engulfed her heart. She hated herself for ever loving him. She hated him for making her fall in love and for giving her hope. “Go away,” she whispered.
“Nora.”
She turned her head and pressed her eyes closed.
“Nora,” he called again. Then he took a deep breath and buried his face in her neck.
She held herself still as he ran his cheek against her skin. His face already bore a shadow of daily growth. The rough abrasion sent tingling down her legs.
She pulled in a breath when she felt his mouth work its way up to her jaw and cheek, taking his time to call up her body’s memory of him. She was trembling by the time he finally kissed her.
She was so weak for him that she moaned. He groaned into her mouth and tightened his hold on her wrists, forcing her down with one hand as his other caressed her.
Was it only that morning that they’d been this way? Seeking the pleasure of one another, even if it was only a touch? The nearness made Nora swoon.
Her fist tightened and then she relaxed.
A second later, he released her and sat up on his knees. He was still holding her down as he signed, “I didn’t touch another woman.”
The words shocked her back to the present. She sat up on her elbows. “Did you go to the brothel?”
His face gave him away. He’d gone to the whorehouse. “Nothing happened—”
She closed her eyes and began to fight him off. She’d noticed his ring was still gone.
He locked her down once again, gathering her limbs and keeping her in place.
She glared into his eyes. “You cannot have
both. It is either me or them.”
“You,” he said immediately. “O-only you.”
“Why did you go to the brothel?” she asked. “You were angry with me?”
“Yes.”
“You wanted revenge?” Her eyes burned. “You wanted to get me back for what I said, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” He spoke with brutal clarity.
“Get off me.”
“No.”
“Now!” She bucked, but he barely moved. Her voice shook with anger and despair. “I can’t do this, Garrick. I cannot live this way. I won’t. If you will leave me every time we have a fight—”
He got up and stood. “You threatened me.” His eyes were hard. His jaw muscles tightened. “You claimed you would withhold yourself from me.”
“Only if you stopped me from speaking to my brother.”
His eyes widened. “And that seems fair to you? Whenever you are upset with me, I should expect and accept this threat over and over again?”
Her cheeks burned. “No. You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that, but I needed to speak to my brother.”
“And I needed you safe.” His eyes moved to her arm and then back to her gaze again. “I failed to do that.”
She touched her arm. “It isn’t your fault. I sent you away.”
“I know that,” he agreed. “But don’t ever ask it of me again. This was the last time I go against my better judgment.”
She said nothing, because she knew he was right. She hadn’t been safe with Meri, but she hadn’t known until he’d hurt her. “I understand how you feel, but there will be times when I need to do what I think is best and you need to allow me to do it.”
He scratched the back of his head and sighed. “Only if I don’t think you’re in danger.”
“Garrick…”
“No,” he said. It was final in his mind. He’d failed to protect her. He would not allow her to get that close to danger again.
It was comforting and lifted some of her crumbling hope where her marriage was concerned. Perhaps, in time, Garrick would calm enough that they could discuss it again.
“All right.”
His brows flickered with surprise. Surely, Nora was not that confrontational that he would be surprised when she gave in.
“And I’m sorry for what I said,” she added. “I won’t threaten you as I have again.” She had no doubt that they would have disagreements, but she should try to find new ways to deal with her husband. She’d been married before. Nathan and she had barely fought. Passions were much higher with Garrick. It was thrilling but scary.
Both her marriages had been about convenience. She’d married Nathan to protect herself against Meri and Garrick to protect herself against scandal. She loved them both, yet neither man was like the other.
She’d known what to expect from Nathan. She had no idea what to do with Garrick, yet she was willing to make a good go of it. Her heart would not accept anything but her best.
“How is Miriam?”
“Well.”
“I wish to see for myself before we go back downstairs.”
She smiled through a bout of nervousness. “All right. Will you put your ring on again?”
Garrick looked at his hand and strolled back over to Nora. He reached into his pocket and then sat on the bed next to her. He handed her the ring and then held his hand out.
She anxiously took hold of his fingers and slipped the ring back in its rightful place underneath his watchful gaze.
He took her ringed hand and kissed her where the gold met flesh. He put her hand down. “I’m sorry. I won’t take it off again.”
Nora took a breath and felt a great amount of anxiety leave her. She’d almost lost her husband. She would fight harder for it this time. “Thank you.”
“Let’s go see Miriam.”
She swallowed. “And tonight?”
In answer, he grabbed the back of her neck pulled her forward for the kiss that left little doubt what would take place the moment they were home and alone. She would make love to her husband and do anything and everything else he wanted to do because she wanted it all as well.
∫ ∫ ∫
4 6
* * *
Nora separated from Garrick the moment they returned to Kent’s office. Garrick watched as she resumed her place on the couch next to Marley. He’d just taken the seat he’d occupied across from her when Kent asked, “Is everything settled between you two?” At his lifted brow, Garrick glared. The man continuously acted as though he held authority where Nora was concerned.
“Yes,” Nora whispered with a dainty nod. Her cheeks were red. When she looked over at Garrick, the tenderness in her gaze did what it always did. It cooled him in certain places and heated him in others. Yet he took care to not let his heart get entangled with the physical responses he had to his wife. From all appearances, things had fallen back into place, but for Garrick, much was unsettled.
“Good,” Kent said. “Now, tell us about how you came to believe your brother responsible for Lettie’s disappearance. Had he done something like this before?”
“No, but there had been other incidences. Friends that I had while growing up often found themselves injured after a game. It was only after Meri and I spoke after Lettie’s disappearance that I put it together. She’d been wearing that tiara when she vanished.”
Clive walked over to the tiara and picked it up. “Are you sure this is it? It was such a very long time ago.”
“Unless my brother had one made to look like Lettie’s, then yes, I’m sure. Lettie’s sister Johanna had been very envious when her mother gave it to her younger sister to wear. We spent some time gazing at it. It is the perfect likeness of Lady Ruckley’s tiara.”
Garrick tapped the wood of his chair to gain everyone’s attention. “Even if Nora’s brother had another made, it is strange that he would know the details of the real one so well.”
“Yes,” Clive agreed. “He’d have had to have been close enough to know the design.”
“What did your brother say that made you believe him to be guilty years ago?” Kent asked. The others had all decided to let him lead the discussion since it had been Kent’s footman who’d spied on Nora. Clive had told Garrick about it as they’d rode to the house from the club.
The information Nora was giving them now was what he’d been craving since he knew something was wrong.
Why hadn’t she trusted him to do right by her with it? That still troubled him, her lack of faith. While he was glad she would no longer withhold herself— and he was even more glad that he’d not acted in haste to betray her— he could not shake the sense of necessary caution where his wife was concerned.
She hadn’t trusted him, but he’d trusted her with himself. He’d worn a ring so all who looked at him would know to who he belonged. He’d told her his feelings about loneliness and how much her understanding of signing had meant to him.
He’d often felt like a misplaced object and once Nora took him for her husband, he’d found home. Yet he was troubled. What if it was his inability to speak that made Nora see him as weak? If that was the case then there was no way she’d ever learn to depend on him. Just like now, she’d turned to his friends for assistance but never her mostly mute husband.
But he was still her husband, so he would defend her and fight on her behalf even if she didn’t think him capable and lacking where other men were not.
Perhaps, it was a blessing and a curse. He still had his own dealings to attend to and so long as Nora thought him an invalid, she would never know the sort of monster she let share her bed.
“You always choose the prettiest friends,” Nora whispered. She placed her hands on her lap and balled her fist. “That’s what he said to me the night Lettie disappeared. My brother is obsessed with golden hair. He’d told me so repeatedly, but before that night, I’d never understood why my friends with gold hair had always been injured while playing with me. Girls wept about their hair hurting.
A few would come out of hiding during a game and complain about head pain. They’d be missing a patch of hair. Sometimes, it had been ripped out. Sometimes, it looked like a blade had cut strands. It was all very odd, but it became clear to me too late.” Nora closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
It took everything within Garrick to remain where he was and watch Nora struggle to reveal her past, but it wasn’t him that she wanted to reveal it to. According to her, his involvement would bring nothing good.
His golden ring caught the light as he tightened his hands on the armrest. He swallowed back his personal pain and that he felt on Nora’s behalf as well and listened.
“I’ll never forget what he said.” She sighed and then look at Marley. “You have the prettiest friends, Rah Rah, especially the golden-haired ones. I liked Lettie. We had fun. We should play hide and seek with Selena next time. She has the most beautiful golden hair. It’s as if the sun exploded from her head.”
Garrick stiffened as the room grew quiet.
Marley paled and then his face heated with anger. “Did your brother—”
“No, I sent Selena away before he could.” When tears gathered in Nora’s eyes, Garrick could take no more. He crossed the room and sat at Nora’s other side. He placed an arm around her, and she immediately turned to him, trusting him with this at least, to give her comfort.
And he decided if this was all she ever wanted, his body, then it was hers for all eternity.
Marley moved away and began to pace before the fireplace. His hands were on his hips. “Selena is not a true blonde. There is a hint of red to it.”
Nora, still leaning into Garrick, turned to Marley. “Her hair had been redder as a young girl, but it had begun to fade, and my brother noticed. I had no choice.”
“I understand,” Marley said. “But why not tell Selena? She was hurt when you ended the friendship. Why didn’t you tell her the truth?”
Nora straightened. “Because I know Selena. She would have tried to continue our friendship, and I would have been weak in stopping her. She’d have put herself in danger, and I couldn’t allow Meri to have her.” So, Nora couldn’t have her as well. She’d sacrificed her friendship for Selena’s life.
Wounds of A Viscount: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 23