“Rajni—”
“Or room service? You’re probably tired. Room service would be better, then.”
“You don’t have to behave like this,” Shirina said.
“Like what?” Rajni had an exaggerated look of surprise on her face.
“Like I’m a basket case. I could do without you and Jezmeen acting like I’ll fall apart any moment.”
“Shirina, you’ve just been through something really huge,” Rajni said. “You’ve made a really big decision, and you’re coming to terms with what it means for your marriage.”
Shirina shook her head firmly. “I’m fine. Sehaj and I will be . . . we’ll be fine.” Tears welled up in her eyes. She didn’t want to think of the alternative. Shirina’s flight back to Melbourne was a day away and she still had no idea what to do.
She had called him from the car and left a message to say that she had left the clinic with Rajni and Jezmeen. “I’m not doing it. I’m keeping our baby,” she said, and then she stayed on the call until it timed out. She didn’t want to hang up abruptly but she wondered what Sehaj made of the minute or so of indistinct background noise—the purring car engine, the tune that their driver hummed to himself.
“If you and Sehaj are not fine, that’s all right too,” Rajni said. “You can come back to London. Or go back to Melbourne if you want, but move out of his home. It’s up to you.”
Shirina felt an apology coming. It was her fault that Rajni was so concerned, and the pilgrimage had been altered. What would Mum think of all of this? “I know I’ve put you through a lot,” Shirina said. “I was hiding this from you, and I nearly went through with . . .” She looked down at her round belly and placed a protective palm over it.
“What’s important is that you’re safe,” Rajni said firmly. “Nobody is judging you for having a horrid old-fashioned mother-in-law. I wish you’d told us what you were going through, but Jezmeen and I weren’t exactly paying attention to anyone but ourselves lately.”
There was another knock on the door. “Hey, Granny,” Jezmeen said brightly to Rajni as she breezed into the room, holding the hair dryer. “Just returning this, Shirina. Also, I was wondering about the plan for today.”
“Let’s stay in and put some movies on,” Shirina said. Now that she was no longer hiding her pregnancy, she just wanted to lie down and put her feet up. “I saw on the TV menu just now that there’s this old HC Kumar film playing.” She sat up suddenly. “Hey, weren’t you going to meet him at some point?”
“Yeah,” Jezmeen said. “But things changed. There will be other chances.” Her smile, like Rajni’s overenthusiastic tone of voice, didn’t seem genuine. Shirina waited for Jezmeen to say more, but she simply shrugged and began coiling the wire around the hair dryer.
Jezmeen had given up her opportunity so she could be with her. “Jezmeen, you should have gone to meet him,” Shirina said. “Is there still a chance?”
“I asked my agent if we could reschedule, but HC Kumar is a pretty busy guy. He didn’t get back to us. It’s fine.” Jezmeen was trying to brush it off, but Shirina caught the pain in her voice.
“Is there a chance of seeing him tomorrow before we head off? Or if you stick around in India for a bit longer, maybe you can arrange something?”
“I was thinking about it but I can’t afford to just hang around here on the slim chance of breaking into the Indian film industry. It’s very competitive here,” Jezmeen said. “But it’s all right, Shirina. Mum said I had to start being more realistic, and maybe she was right. At best, this meeting was going to lead to a small role, but time’s running out. It could take years to establish myself, and by then, the number of available roles will shrink again because I’ll be close to forty.”
She sounded convinced, but Shirina wasn’t buying it. “Why don’t we go there tomorrow?” she asked. “On our way to the airport.”
“Go where?”
“His office, or his studio, or wherever,” Shirina said. “If he’s there, surely he’ll give you a few minutes of his time.”
Jezmeen shifted her weight from one foot to the other and appeared to be thinking about Shirina’s suggestion. “What if he doesn’t like me?” she asked in a small voice. “People said some pretty horrible things about me online—why would HC Kumar think any differently?”
“He’s already impressed with you, Jezmeen. He wouldn’t have asked for a meeting if he wasn’t at least thinking about giving you a role,” Rajni said.
“So, we’ll do it, then?” Shirina asked.
“We have to leave early, then, to make sure we don’t miss our flight,” Rajni said.
“Okay, Granny.” Jezmeen smirked.
“Why does she keep calling you that?” Shirina asked Rajni. “Is it because of your ankle?” She had noticed that Rajni was hobbling a bit, and she’d asked for a bucket of ice as soon as they checked in.
“You haven’t told her?” Jezmeen asked Rajni.
“Anil and his girlfriend are having a baby,” Rajni said to Shirina. “I’m going to be a grandmother.”
Anil was going to be a father? Shirina stared at Rajni. “Sorry, I think I misheard you.” She looked at Jezmeen for confirmation, who began to snicker. “Isn’t he only eighteen?”
“Thank you, and don’t feel obliged to hide your surprise. I didn’t see it coming either.” Rajni shot a glare at Jezmeen. “Let’s order whatever we want from the menu tonight and do some proper catching up.”
“And champagne for me and Granny here,” Jezmeen said. “We haven’t actually properly celebrated all these pregnancies.”
“Jezmeen, if you call me Granny one more bloody time—”
Jezmeen giggled and pointed the hair dryer at Rajni like a gun. Rajni picked up a pillow and aimed it at her head but Jezmeen ducked and it missed. “Nice moves, Granny.” Jezmeen smirked as she bolted out of the room. Rajni went after her and their shrieks traveled through the walls.
Shirina patted her belly. Some movement from the baby kept her awake last night, and she felt a determined kick this morning. My daughter. She looked out the window again. This was a greener city than Delhi, with trees and flowered bushes appearing in manicured strips between the roads and in carefully arranged bouquets on the landscaped roundabouts. There was a sense of order here that calmed Shirina, even though it wasn’t the spiritual place Mum had envisioned for this stage of their journey. One day perhaps, she and her sisters would complete this pilgrimage the way Mum had intended it. Her daughter would be there too.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Day Eight: Flying Home
Jezmeen grinned into her pocket mirror to check her teeth for lipstick stains. She tucked her hair behind her ears, decided it looked too bookish, tossed her hair, decided it looked too messy, and then checked her teeth again. This time there was a tiny red smudge on her incisor. “I can’t do this,” she declared, dropping the pocket mirror into her lap.
“You can,” Rajni assured her from the front seat of the car. “Did you visualize the best possible outcome?” This was one of the self-help tactics Rajni had found in a quick internet search on her phone. “Or how about this one: Top Ten Mantras for Success.”
The GPS on Tom Hanks’s dashboard indicated that they were five minutes away. On the entire ride from Chandigarh to Delhi, Jezmeen wondered if they were doing the right thing. HC Kumar hadn’t bothered getting back to Cameron about an alternative time to meet, so maybe he had moved on to another actress, somebody more reliable.
“What if he saw the Arowana video and he’s decided that I’m a scumbag?” Jezmeen asked.
“He probably set up that meeting in spite of the video,” Shirina reminded her. “Everybody’s seen it by now, so it’s a good sign that he wants to meet you regardless.”
“Wanted to,” Jezmeen corrected. “Then I didn’t show up and now he’s like, ‘That’s what I get for giving a chance to a fish murderer.’ ”
“That’s not what he’s saying,” Shirina said calmly. “Oh!” She gr
abbed Jezmeen’s hand and placed it on her belly. A moment passed, and then there was a tiny bump against Jezmeen’s palm. “She’s wishing you good luck.”
“Thanks, little lady,” Jezmeen cooed.
“Isn’t it ‘Break a leg’?” Rajni asked.
“That’s theater,” Shirina said. “Or can it be used for film?”
“Not sure,” Rajni said. “It’s a funny thing to say in any case, isn’t it?”
While Jezmeen appreciated that her sisters were trying to be encouraging and supportive, she was drowning in doubt. Last night, she couldn’t sleep, and it probably showed. She found herself scrolling through her IMDb page, clicking on all the little roles that she’d had, some so small that they didn’t link to a description. She was a passing body, just filling the background while the lights and cameras focused on bigger stars. Of course, then Jezmeen went where she had been repeatedly warned not to go—the comments under the original Arowana video. Although the furor had died down in recent days, some of the ugliest sentiments against her had still been “up-voted” to the top of the comments section. Can’t believe that there are people fleeing wars in other countries, and we have people like this in ours, one commenter had lamented. Another, to whom Jezmeen was tempted to respond with a string of expletives, had said: Looks like a publicity stunt—she’s probably desperate for attention. Bet the producers from that crap show of hers arranged the whole thing. Scrolling through a bottomless feed of other people’s unbridled opinions was as addictive as it was self-destructive. Jezmeen’s mind kept wandering back to Mum, and what she would have made of all this.
“I wish Mum had a little more faith in me,” Jezmeen told her sisters. “All I can think about is how she died thinking I still had a lot of growing up to do.”
“She probably thought that about all of us,” Rajni said. “A mother never stops thinking of her children as children.”
They didn’t say much else to each other until Tom Hanks announced that they were arriving at Connaught Place. At the sight of the Georgian columns and arched windows of the imperial-white buildings, Jezmeen’s stomach lurched. You’re ready for this. You’ve been waiting for this to happen for a long time.
“I need a minute,” Jezmeen said when they pulled up. Rajni and Shirina nodded and stepped out of the car. HC Kumar’s office was in a tall tower with tinted glass windows that dwarfed the historic shophouses. Jezmeen closed her eyes and tried to visualize the best possible outcome. She saw herself coming face-to-face with HC Kumar, and shaking his hand. He told her he was impressed with her and wanted her to be his new leading lady. Then he turned into a giant Arowana. Jezmeen’s eyes flew open. She looked out the window and watched Rajni and Shirina approaching the building. Whatever happened next, Jezmeen was grateful for her sisters, who had helped her to brainstorm ways to get into HC Kumar’s office.
The plan was to try to get past security by saying they had an appointment. If that didn’t work, Shirina was going to ask to use the toilets. Nobody would deny a pregnant woman access to the loos. Jezmeen would go with her, and they’d try to find HC Kumar’s office. It was not an airtight plan, and there was the possibility of many things going wrong, but Rajni and Shirina insisted that Jezmeen had to at least try. Jezmeen considered this the final effort of her career. Her plane would leave for London tonight, and if this didn’t work out, she would either continue searching for roles or start seriously thinking about a different career.
Jezmeen noticed Shirina waving her over, and she got out of the car. “I’ll be parked just over there,” Tom Hanks called, and not actually indicating where “there” was, he drove off down the wide avenue.
“The doors are locked. There’s an intercom,” Shirina said as Jezmeen approached. “Maybe you should talk to them.”
Jezmeen looked at the little box on the wall. There was a small camera that would magnify her face on the screen. She pressed the button for HC Kumar’s production company’s office and waited.
A voice buried in the heavy roar of static called, “Good afternoon, HC Productions.”
“Hi!” Jezmeen said. “I have an appointment with Mr. HC Kumar?” She shrugged at Shirina and Rajni, who gave her a thumbs-up.
“You are?”
“Jezmeen Shergill.”
There was some rustling. Jezmeen shut her eyes, hoping that her trick would work.
The voice returned. “Ms. Shergill, there is no appointment listed here.”
“Okay, uh, that’s weird,” Jezmeen said. “Because . . . listen, Mr. Kumar and I were supposed to meet yesterday, but I couldn’t make it because of a family emergency. I was wondering if—hello?” The small light next to the button had stopped blinking and the static noise was gone.
“I think she just hung up,” Jezmeen said.
“Try again, explain that he wants to see you,” Rajni urged.
Jezmeen pressed the button again. “Hi there,” she said as soon as the light came on. “If there’s any way that I can see Mr. Kumar now . . .”
“He’s in a meeting,” the voice said. “He has a very packed schedule and—”
“I have to use the toilet,” Shirina blurted out, peering into the camera.
“There are toilets in the shopping mall just across the road,” the voice said kindly.
“Look,” Jezmeen tried again. “This is very important.”
“I understand, but he is busy, and then he’s getting on a flight to Mumbai.”
“Couldn’t you just knock on his door or something?”
“I’m pregnant,” Shirina declared. Rajni led her away. Jezmeen made a mental note to never involve Shirina in a plan to get past security again.
“Ms. Shergill, we get actors showing up out of the blue, asking to see Mr. Kumar all the time. That’s why we have a strict screening system. I’m really sorry.”
A lump rose in Jezmeen’s throat. She turned to Rajni and Shirina. “That’s it, then,” she said. “Let’s just go.”
“I’m sure there’s something you can do,” Rajni shouted into the intercom. “We’ve come a long way.”
“Raj, you don’t have to yell. I think she can hear you,” Jezmeen said.
The voice apologized again. “If you want to leave your details behind, Mr. Kumar can get back to you.” She didn’t sound very convincing.
“My sister will never have a chance like this again. You work in this industry, surely you understand that?” Rajni hollered.
“Again, Rajni—” Jezmeen began. She knew Rajni was just trying to be heard but she sounded a bit unhinged.
“I’ll need to call security,” the voice said.
“We’re not afraid of that,” Rajni said. “We were threatened with security twice in Chandigarh.”
“Not helping,” Jezmeen said. “It’s over, Raj. This is a sign.”
“I did not like her tone of voice,” Rajni muttered. “Very snobby.”
“I can still hear you,” the voice said.
They had a few hours to kill now that Jezmeen wasn’t going to meet HC Kumar and Tom Hanks was nowhere to be seen. She realized that she had been setting herself up for disappointment—her fears weren’t about her odds at getting another shot. They were about getting that shot and still not succeeding. What if HC Kumar met her and decided she didn’t have what he was looking for? Casting calls and auditions and the long waits for callbacks had taken up too much of her adult life. “Let’s go,” she said firmly to her sisters. This was where her career would probably end.
“Rajni?” A male voice rang out behind them. Jezmeen and her sisters turned around.
“Hari!” Rajni said. “What are you doing here?”
“I work here—there was a call for security because some people were trying to get into the building, so I looked out the window and saw you.”
Jezmeen’s first thought was that the man was the spitting image of HC Kumar. He had the same silver-streaked hair and broad smile as the director she had seen on those behind-the-scenes videos she liked watch
ing. What are the odds, that a look-alike works in the same building? she mused.
Then it hit her. This was him. Rajni knew him. Rajni knew him? So many thoughts and questions rushed through Jezmeen’s mind that she felt light-headed.
“Shirina, remember this lovely man that we met in the, uh . . . that day when Jezmeen was at the protest?” Rajni was asking. Shirina smiled and nodded. Rajni glanced at Jezmeen. “Why do you have such a weird look on your face?”
“I’m Jezmeen Shergill,” Jezmeen said. “I believe we were supposed to meet today.”
“You’re . . . ?” Rajni said.
“I’m HC Kumar,” he said. “You can call me Hari.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“I hadn’t heard of you until a few days ago,” Hari admitted. “My daughter Parvana was rounded up at the women’s march at India Gate too. She said that an actress who everyone thought was Polly Mishra gave a very powerful speech about what it felt like to travel in India as a woman.”
Jezmeen beamed. It was probably the first time Rajni saw her brushing off the comparison to Polly Mishra. “And that’s why you got in touch with my agent?”
“Yes, I had no other way to reach you and just hoped you were still in India. When you canceled for a family emergency, I just assumed you had to go back to London.”
“I’m really sorry about that—I’d appreciate it if you could take the time now, though.”
“Yes, come on upstairs. We’ll have to be quick because I have a flight to catch later.”
“I actually really do have to pee now,” Shirina whispered to Rajni. “Do you think he’ll let us into the building?”
“Why don’t we leave you two to chat?” Rajni suggested to Jezmeen and Hari. “Shirina and I will do some window shopping in Connaught Place, and then we’ll meet back here.”
“Sure,” Jezmeen said, already heading back toward the building.
Hari smiled at Rajni. “What a great coincidence. I’m so glad we saw each other again.”
“We didn’t get to say good-bye, did we?” Rajni said. “You were outside on a smoke break when Jezmeen was released.”
The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters Page 31