by Ash Night
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to chase him out of town.” Jake looked down.
“It’s okay,” I said, guiding him to the couch. “Are you okay? You look rough.”
He chuckled. “I’ve been better. I just felt like crap when I got up this morning and blacked out as I was getting dressed.”
“Blacked out? As in suddenly dropped to the floor?” I asked fearfully. “Jake, maybe we should get you to a doctor. It could mean something else is wrong.” My heart gave a squeeze. I lost my dream boy. I didn’t want to lose one in this world too.
He waved my concern away. “I’m fine, Zoey. I feel much better. You should’ve seen me this morning. At least ten times worse,”
I hugged him, inhaling his scent of aftershave and soap. He still felt like the strong guy I’d always known, even when we were kids, but it was too much like when we were kids. The love wasn’t there. Not the love I felt with Eli. The love I felt for Eli had never been there with Jake and, no matter how hard I tried to make it happen, it would never be there. I would always love Eli more.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat that seemed to double in size since I’d arrived. I didn’t want to say these words since Jake was so sick, but he had to hear them. I couldn’t let him think I loved him any longer. All we had was friendship. “Jake, I have something to tell you.”
“Can I go first? Please?” I looked up from his well-defined chest. He looked sad and scared, like a little boy about to confess a lie.
“Go ahead,” I couldn’t help but hope he felt the love dissolve into just friendship too. It would make things a little easier. I still hated to admit it. Jake was a sweet and caring guy. I was lucky to have him. I felt selfish. Eli was walking away with my love and because of that, I couldn’t love a guy that was right here. Hatred burned inside me. I was tempted to call Eli everything I could think of.
“I love you, Zoey, but I…I found someone else. Yesterday, after you left school, I started talking to a girl from French class and…Anyway, I hope you aren’t too mad. I still want us to be friends. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I wasn’t going to have to say it after all. I sighed in relief. “Of course, Jake. That’s fine. I’m happy for you!” I faked a smile as my heart tore in so many pieces I don’t even know where the tear started.
"I'm sorry, now what were you going to say?" He looked at me with interest.
I cleared my throat. "I was going to say...that...Eli said goodbye and hopefully there are no hard feelings." Somehow, as those words left my mouth, I knew they were more for myself than I realized.
Chapter 24
1. She would hate me
2. She would hate me
3. I go back.
That was what I’d written on three scraps of paper and placed on the table in front of me. It all depended on the roll of a die. It struck me as funny, the word die. I was referring to the singular form of dice, but the roll of it may mean just that. Die. End. I was unpredictable after all. After I lost Zoey, I had no idea what I might do.
The game was simple. I would roll the die and if I landed on an even number, I wouldn’t go see her and then wait for whatever the monster decided to do next. If I rolled an odd number, I would go see her. If the die landed on one, two, or three, I would pick the number after that one. Easy. My heart dropped to the floor as I rolled it.
The die, by some force of its own, teetered on its side between two and three. “Dammit! This is supposed to be up to chance!” I yelled at myself. I looked around the empty, drab motel room I’d compelled the owner to let me have for the night and realized I was alone, really alone. No voice in my head other than my own. I’d been so distracted by everything since I’d gotten here; I had had no idea that the voice was really gone. It felt freeing.
The die still hovered on the table an hour later, taunting me, mocking me for my lack of control in this world. Either way I couldn’t have what I wanted.
I tried to press it down until I feared the table would crack, but it didn’t even wobble one way or the other. I snarled, thankful I was the only occupant in the motel. I snatched up the scraps of paper, crumbled them into a ball, and threw them in the trash on my way out.
I was going to visit Zoey whether some damn dice wanted me to or not.
People went out of their to avoid me, even walking on the other side of the sidewalk, as I marched to do Hell knows what once I got to Zoey’s place. I felt more dangerous than ever. The monster within me roared, sending chills of ice down my spine. With the monster so close to the surface, I wondered how out of my mind I really was. It worried me. I felt like Death was inside me, giving me its deadly whispers of encouragement to do whatever the hell I wanted. A stubborn smirk plastered to my face. The monster was leaking out.
“Eli, that you? Hey, man!" A boy from school jogged up to me. How could he not sense how evil I'd become? I vaguely remembered sitting with him at lunch. I searched my mind through the haze of anger for his name.
"Alex," I said, grinning evilly. "How's your weekend going so far?"
Alex smiled. "Not really going at all. Peter and Gabe are too busy helping their dad at the shop. Wanna hang with me and Qwen at JD's? Zoey can come too."
JD's was the local hang out place where all the high schoolers went to play arcade games and order just about any kind of food they could want. "Sure," the monster lied. That word had come out of my mouth before I could stop it. Part of me was happy it had. I could give Zoey one night of happiness before I left her life, couldn't I?
"Great! Meet us there at seven." Alex said as he gave me one last smile and walked away. I growled. Why am I so stupid? I'd promised to stay out of Zoey's life and here I was, about to go on a double date with her and her friends.
I continued on my way to Zoey's house, my anger dissipating with every step. I finally came upon it and hid in the bushes, peering through the window. My anger flared back up, but it was laced with hurt.
Zoey was hugging Jake. I could literally feel my heart crush, like an accordion. I wanted to tear it from my chest. This double date thing was going to be much harder than I thought.
Zoey
I sat across from Gwen as the boys went to play arcade games. From the sounds of it, Eli was very good. I tried to push out the noise of the games and the whoops of joy made whenever Eli scored high. "So, you and Eli, huh? How's Jake's takin' the break-up?" Gwen asked.
"I'm not with Eli. Jake and I broke up because he wanted to date Kayla from French class." I answered numbly. I didn't know what I was doing there. I was insane for coming even though Eli had been adamant it was as friends. He'd insisted it was the last time we'd ever have to see each other. In the morning he would return to AngelRose and my life could go back to being perfect. It was a lie.
My life could never be perfect again. Not after Eli complicated it beyond repair. I was starting to think AngelRose wasn't the infection, he was. It was his fault my life was screwed up. His fault I had dreams about him. His fault I'd wanted to come to AngelRose in the first place. It was all his fault.
He knew that. He was only trying to have a normal relationship for once in his life which made me feel terrible. He could stay, but he insisted my happiness was more important, that I at least try to have a normal life after he leave. I didn't think that was possible. The rose in my pocket was suddenly heavy. I tried to ignore it.
"Zoe? Earth to Zoe! Come in, Zoe. He is cute, isn't he? The kind of boy you lay awake at night and dream about," Gwen sighed dreamily. I snapped out of my thoughts and realized I'd been staring at Eli the whole time. His eyes meant mine and he smirked. Whipping around, I exhaled slowly, my heart pounding against my chest like an excited rabbit. The blush that heated my face began to cool. I silently cursed Eli for having that effect on me. We weren't dating so why did my vital signs insist on acting like it? Gwen grinned. "You two really should go out. You like him. It's written all over your face."
"I do not like him that wa
y." I lied, hoping my teeth wouldn't bust by how hard I was lying through them. "We're just friends."
"Some girls don't know what they have even when it's right in front of them. I hope you make up your mind quick. Every girl in school is eyeing him up, and I do mean every girl, not just the eligible ones." She smiled as Alex walked over and put an arm around her.
"Ready to order?" He kissed Gwen.
"Yes," she giggled.
"Well, we can't just let them show us up like that, can we?" Eli hugged me, weaving his hands through the poles of the chair and around my waist. His breath was hot against my ear.
I tried to remain calm, but the effect took hold and played with my heartbeat like a well-trained musician. It was maddening. "I think I'll skip it, Eli. You know we're only friends." Gwen shot me a look.
"Oh, okay, Zoey. Sorry, sometimes I forget." The grin had left his voice and he slowly unwound his hands from my waist. He slid into the chair beside me and opened a menu, but didn't bother to look at it for more than five seconds before he said, "I'll just have a glass of apple juice," My mouth nearly dropped. I'd been to JD's dozens of times and I knew they served alcohol. Eli could've easily ordered that with a smile. Was he really trying that hard just so I would have a good time? My heart lurched and I felt like throwing up. I felt like a horrible person.
"Eli, have you ever gone bowling before?" Alex asked. "They have an alley in the back room. We could move the party there if you like. I can go ask T.J to turn it on. Girls v.s. Boys, ladies?"
"You're on!" Gwen said.
I nudged Eli in the shoulder. "What do you say, Ari?" I whispered. The grin that lit up his face was like its own personal sun.
"Of course, mil'lady. I would love to beat you at bowling."
The score was pitiful. We were beating the boys by a landslide. Alex was an okay bowler, but all Eli was getting was gutter balls. Gwen suggested the boys having to strip after every gutter ball Eli got. They were down to their boxers. I had a hard time not staring at Eli's bare chest. He grinned and when he went up to bowl his last set, he danced a little for me. Purposefully this time, he tried to get a gutter ball. It crashed into all ten pins.
"Holy crap, dude, that has to be the luckiest thing to ever happen." Alex said. Eli didn't reply as all the windows at the back of the alley exploded. Gwen screamed. Alex held her protectively. I stood there in shock.
Eli had been trying so hard to make this a great night, and he'd been succeeding, so why throw it all away now? I looked at him. A change had taken place in his demeanor. His muscles were stiff, a faint aura pulsing around him. I hoped I was the only one who could see it. The change in him reminded me of when he'd stormed in to save me from freezing to death in AngelRose. I hadn't seen an aura around him then, but I'd felt it. I still didn't know what it had meant. I wasn't in any danger so why he was angry now I couldn't say. It was frightening.
"Everyone okay?" Alex asked, pulling his shirt on. Gwen looked shaken. T.J had run in to check on us and then began to clean up the glass with a few of the wait staff, muttering to themselves about how strange that had been. I turned to look at Eli. He was gone.
On the table was a crisp stack of money, enough to pay the whole bill plus a generous tip. On top of the money lay a single black rose petal.
I hugged Jake's picture to my chest before setting it back on my nightstand as I lay down to sleep that night, feeling tears prick at my eyes. I lost Eli and now I was losing another guy. It wasn't fair I didn't love Jake as much as I loved Eli. Hate burned in my stomach like acid even though I knew it wasn't fair to Eli. It made me feel better. We had been having such a great time and he had to go and ruin it by exploding the windows.
Life would get better when he was gone. It was a lie, but it felt good when I said it out loud.
Eli
Welcome back, Eli. The voice cooed in my head as I woke up in my bed.
"Damn, it's good to be home!" I said, stretching out. Sky jumped up onto the bed and purred loudly as she rubbed her face against my cheek. "I love you too, Sky. How are you, buddy?" I petted her. Jumping out of bed, I went to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich using manifested ingredients. Without thinking, I made another for her. Her presence haunted me, taunting me. I wouldn't forget her as long as I lived.
Which in AngelRose could be a very long time.
Chapter 25
I woke up in bed, feeling more refreshed than ever. A knock at my bedroom door made me jump. “Come in,” I said, half-expecting it to be a demon from AngelRose coming to swallow me up.
“Zoey, is everything okay? You sound like you were expecting a monster.” My boyfriend Jake, who was harmless as a toothpick compared to most of the demons and Shadow beings in AngelRose, walked in carrying a box of chocolates and a teddy bear. I had the strangest sense of déjà vu and turned to check. Partly hidden by my blanket was the same teddy bear. Weird.
"Valentine’s Day already? Did I sleep through my whole summer?" I chuckled. With the sleep I had last night, I was almost afraid I very well could have.
"Not quite, more like a ‘happy first-day-of-summer’ gift," Jake hugged me one-handed. I set the box on my bedside table and the bear on my bed.
"Thanks, Jake. You’re so sweet," I gave him a big hug and a kiss.
He smiled. "Have you gotten any news from colleges you’ve applied to, yet?"
"No," I cuddled against him, his muscled chest reminding me of the football scholarship that was helping him get into college. It was a full scholarship to Yale. Jake was adamant about college and was hoping I’d come to Yale with him. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to go to Yale. I loved Jake, but it didn't feel like true love. But why did it feel like I knew what true love was? I didn't know anything about that. Suddenly an image of a grinning dark-haired boy in a lightning storm flashed through my mind. I shivered involuntarily.
"You okay, sweetheart?" Jake asked. "Did you take your meds today?"
“My meds?” I asked. “I just got up so no I guess I didn’t.” I found a full prescription bottle of them on my nightstand and shook out two white pills. Cupped into my hand, they seemed so innocent but something inside me told me not to take them; that I would forget something important. But what? Was it the dark-haired boy? No, I doubt I could ever forget him. I shrugged. If I couldn’t remember what I’d be forgetting it couldn’t be too important.
“Zoeybear, let me get you some water, okay?” Jake walked out, giving me some time to freak out. As soon as he left the room, the shaking started. What was wrong with me? Why was I feeling like I wanted to cry? Where was my necklace? I wasn’t sure what necklace I was talking about, but an image of a heart-shaped key entered my mind. This item was important. It had a connection to the dark-haired boy. I was sure of it. My hands trembled as I reached into a drawer.
I found a stack of binders there and upon opening them I saw they were full of blank notebook paper. Why would I have binders full of blank paper? Something possessed me to flip to the last page of the top binder. On the last page was a note in blood, beside a pressed black rose that bloomed before me, taking its former three-dimensional shape like something out of a pop-up book.
The blood-note was terrifying, yet somehow I wasn’t afraid. It seemed more of a strange comfort than a horror movie moment. I touched the blood and it felt no different than if I touched a paper that had been written on with a pencil. It was smooth against my skin. A sensation ripped through me and I dropped the binder. Not daring to pick it up again, I read the note from a safe distance.
Dear Zoey,
If I’m correct, you won’t remember me and everything will be normal again. I love you more than any word in any language can describe. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I was tempted to stay, but the monster could hurt you which will never happen as long as I’m still breathing.
Love forever and always,
E
E? Who was that? The image of the dark-haired boy flashed in front of my eyes as if I could
reach out and touch him. I longed to touch him, feel his jacket, smell his scent. But why? Jake was my boyfriend. I shouldn’t be thinking about other guys. But this boy wouldn’t leave my mind. He was like the sun on closed eyelids. He couldn’t be ignored.
Suddenly the rose on the floor moved. I blinked. Roses don’t move. I stared at it intently for a moment. I screamed as it darted toward me, wrapping itself around my wrist, its stem making a perfect circlet so the petals rested gently on top of my wrist. I smiled. It was like a gift from the dark-haired boy. I was sure of it.
“Zoey! Are you okay? I heard you scream.” Jake said, bounding through the door. The cup of water was in his hand.
I blushed lightly. “I’m fine. I saw a mouse and it startled me.”
He sighed in relief. “Okay,” Looking down at the cup, he grinned. “Sorry, Zoe, not much left in here,”
“That’s okay,” I hugged him. “I can take them dry.” I popped them in my mouth and hid them under my tongue. I asked for a napkin to wipe my mouth and spit them into it, tossing it in the garbage.
Jake kissed the top of my head. “Feel better?”
“Yeah,” I replied even though I still wasn’t even sure why I was taking the pills in the first place. “Do you mind if I call Gwen and Abby to come over?”
He squeezed my shoulder. “Sure, go have your girl time. I was gonna call up Alex and Gabe to see what time we were bowling at JD’s tonight anyway.”
I smiled and watched him leave. I raced to my phone laying on my dresser and noticed another already plugged in and charging beside mine. I flipped it open to see if it was Jake’s, but the name on the inside said Prince Ari and it had one contact: Princess Alexis. My number.
Forcing myself not to fling the phone across the room, I unplugged it and turned it off, placing it in the drawer on top of the binder. I took my own phone and dialed Abby’s number. She answered on the first ring.