“You’re not just saying that?”
“I wanted to cut his balls off.”
Sara grins. “He’s gonna be sore tomorrow after that kick you gave him.”
“Would he have hit me, Gabriel?”
I nod. “He would’ve slapped you.”
“Fucking dick.”
“I’m so sorry to both of you. It got away from me, and when he grabbed you, I was in shock. I should’ve fought harder for you.”
Mia takes my hand in hers. “None of this is your fault. You’ve never hung out with him outside of the Paris environment. You didn’t know.” She smiles. “Besides, I did alright on my own.”
I finally smile. “Yeah, you did. You’re pretty much a badass.”
“Definitely a badass,” Sara says. “I’m gonna go home. I’m sure you two have plenty to talk about.”
“I’ll walk you out and make sure François found his way to a cab.”
“Okay.” Sara hugs Mia as I wait to walk her outside. We make our way to the parking area, and I check for François to make sure he’s gone. At her car, I wait as she unlocks the door.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Yeah. You?”
“I am.” She reaches up and rubs my cheek. “Listen, Gabriel, you’re my brother, and I love you to the moon and back. I don’t care what you did in Paris. Not one bit. You’re still the same man you have always have been in my eyes. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the best brother a girl could want.”
“Sara—”
“Here me out,” she says and I nod. “I’m not a little girl. I can handle sex stuff. You’d be shocked if you knew the things Mia and I talk about.” She smiles. “I just want you to be happy, and I know that you are with Mia. That’s all I care about. That’s it.”
I pinch her chin gently. “I love you, Gingerbread.”
“I love you too, Meatball. Go back inside. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Drive safely.”
“I will.” She slides in the driver’s seat. “Bye.”
“Bye.” I shut her door and watch as she drives off, then make my way back upstairs to Mia. This night went off the rails fast, and I hope Mia’s not too shaken up by it.
WHILE I WAIT FOR Gabriel to get back I start to clean up the kitchen. The night was a disaster, and I hope it doesn’t derail his progress. He was just starting to believe that he’s a good man and worthy of love. I just have to pray that nothing François said tonight changed that.
Humming to myself, I scoop the leftover stew into a plastic bowl, bending over to find the cabinet for the lid. I locate it, and when I stand back up, Gabriel is right behind me.
“Hey.”
He smiles. “Hey. Come here.”
I put the lid down and walk over to him as he wraps his arms around me holding me close. “Are you okay?” I whisper.
“Yeah. No.” He exhales. “I don’t know.”
I step back so I can see his face. “Let’s talk about it.”
He nods and walks me over to the couch. “There’s a lot of shit going through my mind.”
“One thing at a time.”
“Right. I guess it’s just hitting me that François is an asshole.”
I chuckle softly. “He is.”
“But what bothers me is that I never noticed, and to be honest, I think I was worse. I think I one-upped him in asshole-ness.”
“That was the past.” I rub his hand. “You know that, right? It was the past?”
He stares down at our entwined hands for a few silent moments while I wait for a reaction. I know he’s processing his thoughts, and this is what I said I would do for him. I would sit in the darkness with him until he was ready to come out. I will be his shelter from the storm. I am his devoted.
He twists his face to me, and the look in his eyes rips through my soul. “Mia…” he whispers. “Do something for me, please.”
“Anything.”
“Stand up.”
I nod slowly. “Okay.” Rising to my feet, I wonder what he’s thinking.
He stands, gazing down at me, then cups my face. “Tonight,” he begins slowly. “Tonight, Mia, I finally get it. It’s like the last curtain covering my life has been lifted. All this time, I thought I was just like François, worse even, but tonight I saw that I’m not him. I’m not like him at all. The way I view women is so different. I see that the shitty things I did in Paris are behind me, and I never have to go back to that. I will never.” A tear rolls down my cheek as I listen to his words. “I get it now, that I’m not evil. I’m not a man that can’t control himself. Mia…” His eyes well with tears. “Mia, I understand now that I’m worthy of you. I’m worthy of love. I can be a good…” He pauses as his voice cracks. “I am a good man.”
“Oh, Gabriel.” I cup his cheek. “You are a good man. Better than good. You’re mine, and I love you with every ounce of my being.”
He nods, still fixing that intense gaze on me. “You said something a while ago that stuck with me. You said, inspire me to my knees. Do you remember?”
“I do.”
“You’ve inspired me.”
My brow creases in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Without another word, Gabriel sinks to his knees in front of me. Taking my hands in his, he gazes up at me. “You deserve my reverence, mon trésor. You took a man so lost in his own shit he couldn’t find his way out. From the day we met, you were a force of nature, my own personal storm, and I am humbled at your feet. You are everything I never knew existed, never knew I wanted, and, Mia, I don’t have enough words to describe what you’ve done for me. So…” His breath hitches with emotion as I wipe my tear stained eyes. “So, I lie at your feet, and bare my soul, and thank whatever power in the universe decided that I was worthy of you. I will do everything in my power to stay that way until I take my last breath.” He blinks rapidly before continuing. “You said your freedom came through your submission to me, but it’s me who was set free by my submission to you.”
I quickly get down on my knees, cup his face, and kiss him softly. “I love you, you beautiful, strong, wonderful man. We needed each other equally, and the most incredible thing about us is that we started out fighting for power, but as soon as we both decided to give in, we got exactly what we needed. I submitted in the bedroom, and it was what I needed. You submitted to my need for equality and found who you really are in the process. You’re worthy of me, and I’m just as worthy of you. We’ve both been off course for so long, but we’re home now, Gabriel. We’re both home now, and we never have to endure another storm alone.” I kiss him softly. “But I don’t want you on your knees at my feet. I want you by my side, remember?”
“I do.” He shakes his head softly. “I can’t believe how far we’ve come in a month and half. It’s like I’ve known you forever.”
“You have.”
He smiles. “Right. We were two halves that found our way back to each other. Promise me you won’t leave.”
“I won’t leave, Gabriel. You’re the other part of me I’ve needed all my life.”
“Can we negotiate that whole year before we buy a house and get married clause you had? Because I’m feeling like we need to move that timeline up.”
Smiling, I tousle his hair. “One thing I’ve learned about us, we’re very good at negotiating.”
“What do you say we move our talk to the bedroom?”
“That happens to be my favorite room in the house.”
As we stand, he scoops me off my feet and into his arms.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I whisper, “Thank you for coming into my life.”
Gazing down at me, he kisses my lips. “Thank you for staying in mine.”
The next morning, I feel my hair being played with so I open my eyes, surprised to see Sara lying beside me instead of Gabriel.
“Hey,” I whisper.
“Hi. Gabriel invited me over for breakfast. He ran to the grocery store.”
“Oh.” I s
mile. “Cool.”
“I think he’s worried about last night even though I told him I don’t care about any of it.”
I sit up slightly. “Is that true?”
“Yeah, but I have questions.”
“For me or for him?”
“You.”
I prop myself up on my elbow to match her. “Hit me.”
“Is that why you protected him so much and kept the details of your relationship private?”
“Yeah. He asked me the very first date not to tell you things. Now you understand why.”
She nods. “Those bruises you had when we were shopping. Those were just from sex?”
I nod. “I didn’t lie about that. I wanted him to be as rough as he wanted.”
“And he left bruises?”
“Yeah, all over the place.”
“And you like that?”
“Oddly enough, I do.”
Her brow furrows slightly. “What happened that caused your break? Did he hit you?”
“No.” I shake my head. “He really came at me hard in the beginning, and it was just too much. He did something without my permission and it upset me.”
“What?”
“Why do you need the details?”
“I just want to understand. He was really upset last night over the stuff François was saying, but so far, it doesn’t seem that major to me.”
“Oh. Okay, well, with me, he tied me up while I was sleeping. I didn’t like the loss of control and that I wasn’t involved in the decision.”
“I see.”
“He demanded a lot from me that I was struggling with and that just pushed me over the edge.” Reaching out, I play with a lock of her hair. “I didn’t think it could work between us. He was too dominant for me, and I wasn’t submissive enough for him.”
“What changed?”
“He did. He thought about his life and decided he wanted to make some changes. He asked me for another chance, and I just had to say yes. I liked him a lot, and I wanted to try. I decided to meet him in the middle. If he could be more balanced out of the bedroom, then I would be more submissive in it.” I sigh. “Sexually, it’s what he needs, but he’s learning that outside of that, he can be more moderate.”
She nods, remaining silent, and I can tell she’s still thinking about last night.
“Sara, Gabriel is a wonderful man. He’s got some demons he has to keep at bay, but he’s strong enough to do it. I’m in love with him, and I hope, we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. You can still believe in him as the man you know and love.”
“I do. That didn’t change. I guess… I just wonder if…” She flashes her big brown eyes up to mine. “Can we talk as girls separate from Gabriel?”
“Of course.”
“I’m really curious about the sex part. I think being dominated sounds really exciting.”
Well, that just confirmed what Gabriel sensed last night. “What do you want to know?”
“Does he, like, tie you up and stuff?”
“Yeah. A lot of that, cuffing. Spanking with paddles, clamps. You can really go anywhere with it. It just depends on what both people want. The important thing I’ve learned is communication. You both have to know what the limits are and respect them. That’s how trust is built. When you know that no matter what, he won’t hurt you, he won’t take it too far, but he’ll push you all the way to the edge, that’s what makes it exciting.”
She nods as a slow smile spreads across her lips. “It sounds hot.”
“It is. With the right person, it’s a mind blowing experience, but it has to be the right person. François is so deep he can only be with a truly submissive woman. He doesn’t respect any limit. I wouldn’t trust him to make me a cup of coffee.”
“No, he was very intense. He kind of scared me a little.”
“Yeah, he didn’t scare me, but he unnerved me.”
“How was Gabriel after I left?”
“Amazing. He finally understands that he’s nothing like François. Even though he went to some dark places in the past, he knows that he’s not there anymore. He knows he’s okay.”
“Because of you.”
“No, because of him. He did the hard work. I just stood by him.”
“Apparently, that’s all he needed.”
“Yeah. Want to see something cool?”
“Of course.”
I flip over so she can see my shoulder. She runs her fingers over it. “That’s gorgeous, Mia.”
Flipping around again, I smile. “I love it. We decided to get tattoos to symbolize our commitment to each other. I know it might be crazy to some that we’ve only known each other a little over a month, but we just knew it was what we wanted.”
“I don’t think it’s crazy. I think it’s wonderful and magical. I’m so happy that two of my favorite people in the world are together and in love.”
“I’m happy too.”
We both look up as Gabriel walks in the bedroom. Smiling, he leans against the doorframe. “How’s my girl?”
I feel a little flutter in my stomach from his words. “I’m good.”
“I’ve got some coffee made and a quiche is on its way.”
“Sounds amazing. I’ll get up.”
He smiles again as he exits, and I climb out of bed, my naked form on display.
“Damn, Mia,” Sara says.
“What?”
“I didn’t know your body was so perfect. Jerk.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “I’m a jerk, huh?”
“Gee. No wonder he fell hard.”
“Thank you.” I grab my favorite sweatshirt of his and throw it on, and then I find my leggings and slide them on. After running my fingers through my hair, I grin at my friend. “So, are you gonna ask Jamie to boss you around a little?”
Her cheeks blush as she giggles. “I can’t imagine him doing that. He’s so chill all the time.”
“You never know. There could be a hidden beast just below the surface. Maybe you should get yourself a whip and give him a demonstration. I could see you in dominatrix mode.”
Sara throws her hair back in laughter. “I’m glad you can.”
“You can do it.” I cup her chin as she sits on the edge of the bed. “If I’ve learned anything it’s that we can do whatever we want. We can explore, seek the edge of our limits, defy expectation. We can be one thing on the surface and something else entirely underneath it. We can desire things we never thought we would. We can redefine pleasure.” I search her eyes as she gazes up at me. “If I can be submissive, then trust me, you can be a dominatrix.”
“Damn, Mia, that was hot.”
Winking, I release her chin. “Talk to Jamie. You never know what he’ll be open to unless you ask. He might surprise you.”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“Good. Any more questions about me and Gabriel?”
“No.” She stands and hugs me. “Thanks for telling me. I hated that you wouldn’t, but I get it now. He’s a lucky man to find you.”
“He didn’t find me, Sara. You brought me to him. He’s a lucky man to have you as a sister.” As she steps back, I put my arm around her shoulders and we walk to the dining room to find Gabriel setting out plates.
He glances up and graces us with the most spectacular smile I think I’ve seen to date.
“My two favorite women. I love you both so much.”
Sara hugs her brother, and he motions for me to join them. As the three of us embrace, I smile realizing how far we’ve come in a short time. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in the most unexpected way. Gabriel entered my life like a bull, and changed me in ways I didn’t even know I wanted. He not only found the key to unlock my heart, a key I didn’t think existed, he ripped down the door. He’s my everything, and I am his.
His hand slides down my back and I look up at him. Our eyes lock, and in this moment, words aren’t necessary. He radiates love for me, and the expression on his face actually makes my breath catch.
“Coffee?” he asks softly.
“Yes, please.”
He releases us both, but continues to search my eyes.
“Uh, do you guys need a minute?” Sara asks.
Gabriel laughs, glancing at his sister. “No, I just, um, sometimes I can’t look away. I’m a lucky man.”
“You’re a worthy man, Gabriel. You deserve us.”
He brushes his fingers over my chin as he winks at Sara. “I know.”
As we sit down, I watch Gabriel walk into the kitchen, and Sara take a sip of water. Vixen is all curled up in front of the fireplace, and as my eyes shift outside, a light rain begins, bringing a smile to my face. Gabriel comes back and sets a plate of fresh fruit and my coffee on the table, noticing the rain.
“What is it about Phoenix that makes you love a rainy day?” Sara muses.
Gabriel crosses his arms, watching the rain fall. “Well, I’ve recently learned that the sun burns if you get too much, and sometimes, all you really need is a little rain.” He turns around and looks at me. “There’s nothing like a good storm to wash away all the dust.”
A smile tugs at my lips. “There you go again.”
“What?” Sara asks.
“Being sweet,” I say. “He gets like that sometimes.”
He shrugs. “I’m inspired.” He grins. “Now drink your coffee, ma petite. You need your strength restored.” He walks into the kitchen again as Sara nudges my arm.
“You two are adorable.”
“Again, not the word I would use to describe us, but I’ll take it.”
“What word would you use?”
As I sip my coffee, there’s only word that comes to mind. Glancing at my friend, I smile.
“Devoted.”
SITTING AT MY DESK, my phone rings, bringing a smile to my face when I see the number. “Gabriel,” I answer.
“My friend, how are you?”
“I’m fantastic, Luc. You?”
“Wonderful. I received your email, and I had to call right away to congratulate you.”
“Thank you so much. I’m very happy.”
“You sound happy. Much different than the man I talked to last year at this time.”
I nod, smiling. “I did as you suggested and went to battle with my demons.”
Reckless Devotion: Book 2 Page 21