by Rose Lange
Annabelle grabbed a quick shower and threw on jeans and a light sweater. She combed out her hair and quickly fingered some mouse through it before blow-drying it. Deciding she looked halfway decent for company. She took a deep breath and pasted a smile on her face.
Who knows, maybe this wouldn’t be so terrible.
Kade couldn’t help but watch her as she walked back into the room a half hour later. Those jeans hugged her sinful curves in all the right places, and that dark blue sweater sinfully clung to her breasts, only reminding him of what they felt like in his hands, like two perfectly ripe melons. He loathed her and wanted her still, realizing this was a battle he would never win.
It had been a long last few weeks without any sort of contact, and it made him crazy with longing. His entire body ached for her, not only physically but also emotionally. He missed her and hated himself for the mere thought. He should go on hating her, because she constantly kept him at a distance, and had pushed him away for the last time. Even after he’d declared his love for her and proposed marriage. But he couldn’t help himself. He still wanted her.
Kade shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, as he went to pull dinner out of the oven, and set it on the table as he took a seat across from her.
“This is some place you kids have here,” his dad said, helping to serve as he passed the salad.
Annabelle smiled politely, and God help him, he was unable to take his eyes off of her. She was a strong addiction that always left him wanting and hungering for more. Like the night he’d brought that woman home just to piss her off, make her hurt the way he was hurting.
But still, he’d been such an ass, drowning his sorrows in alcohol then flaunting the blonde in her face. Annabelle’s strong reaction had helped ease his wounded pride, somewhat. At least now he knew she still had feelings for him, and she’d been jealous as hell.
He’d never actually intended to take the woman to bed, he’d just been so hurt and angry he hadn’t been thinking clearly. There was only one woman he wanted to sleep with, for the rest of his life.
Annabelle.
Kade’s face filled with warmth, and got warmer by the minute as he realized he wanted to take her to the bedroom and make love to her in broad daylight. To strip her down and taste her, teasing her to the point of oblivion. He wanted to whip that sweater off and put his face between those sweet breasts. Wanted to sheath himself between those luscious thighs, and make love to her, over and over again. Hell if he had it his way they’d never leave this godforsaken cabin. He’d just drown himself inside his sweet Annabelle, and spend the rest of his life making her happy.
“Kade?” his dad asked, breaking him of his carnal thoughts.
He shook his head. “Did you say something?”
His father smiled, raising a brow, as though he knew exactly what he was thinking, and his stomach churned in knots.
“Yes, would you pass me the biscuits?” he repeated.
He nodded, noting Annabelle’s amused expression semi-hidden behind her fork. Her lashes rested endearingly against her cheeks.
“So, what do you think of the cabin?” Kade asked.
His dad nodded approvingly. “It’s real nice, and very cozy.”
“Kade mentioned it was your aunt’s?”
“Yes, my Great Aunt Gracie’s. She and I were close and I’m very happy to have something to remember her by. My brother and I spent many happy summers here.”
By the time dinner was over, he realized he’d barely touched his food. He’d spent most of supper listening to and studying Annabelle, like some love struck fool. He had it bad, and she was his only fix.
Now, the trouble was how was he going to convince her of that?
Chapter 14
Annabelle was grateful the evening was over; as much as she’d enjoyed the visit from his dad she was tired and ready for sleep.
She helped Kade tidy up the kitchen as she picked up the dishes from the table. Absentmindedly she reached for the last dish, in doing so, her hand brushed with his. She tried to ignore the goose bumps that scattered across her arms. Her eyes met his momentarily but he didn’t say a word. She withdrew her hand, as if burned, and went back to her task. It was a futile effort as she tried to ignore his scent, because it was everywhere, and it permeated the tiny space. Grabbing a glass of water, she retreated to her bedroom. At least there she could be alone and have some time to think.
“Good night, Annabelle.”
“Good night.”
She smiled as she walked to her room, ready to lay down with a good book and drift off to sleep. She kicked off her jeans and ripped her sweater over her head, glad to be rid of the clothing. Slipping on a sheer pale blue nightgown, she got under the sheets, taking the book she’d been reading off the nightstand. Twiddling her thumbs, she longingly stared at the connecting door that led to Kade’s room, and wondered what he was doing. What he was wearing or wasn’t wearing. Damn that connecting door, because it was the same thing that went through her mind every night. Looking at that door as if she could make it disappear.
Annabelle was annoyed with herself. She was the one that had pushed him aside, and now she was second-guessing herself, thinking all kinds of seductive and crazy thoughts. Thoughts she really had no business thinking. Thought how nice it would be if they shared a room, a bed, a life together. Her mind drifted to how absolutely safe she felt wrapped in his strong arms. She closed her eyes, and allowed her mind to drift to memories of the last time she’d slept with him. How they’d not only connected physically but emotionally.
Then the sound of running water in the next room snapped her eyes back open, and she could hear him scuffling around the room, his clothes presumably dropping to the floor.
She raised a brow, wondering if she could see through the keyhole.
Annabelle laughed out-loud, smacking her head with her hand. She shook her head of such nonsensical thoughts. Tossing the book back on the nightstand, she decided to turn in for the night.
Annabelle woke up the next morning, her heart as heavy and full, as it had been last night. All these mixed emotions jumbled up inside her, and it made her want to run again. With a bitter laugh, she realized she already had, just because it seemed like the easiest thing to do.
If running was the easiest thing to do, then why did it feel difficult? And why did she feel miserable?
Kade was in love with her, and it scared the living daylights out of her. That was it in a nutshell. The trouble was, she was in love with him, too. He made her fall in love with him again, brought out those feelings long buried, and she didn’t know what to make of it, didn’t know how to make them stop. The logical thing to do was get married again. But, she wasn’t sure if she wanted that. She wasn’t sure if she could be in a functional, legally binding marriage with a man even if she did love him. She grew up seeing what marriage had done to her parents and it scared her to death.
She knew Becky was right, in that she and Kade were not her parents, and she should let go of her past. Damn it though, it just wasn’t that easy, as hard as she tried to think of a logical way about this situation, she continuously hit a brick wall not able to find her way out.
Taking a deep breath, she started her morning preparations and then made her way to the kitchen.
At the sight of Kade sitting there, drinking his coffee and reading the morning paper, her heart did a little flutter in her chest. She took a deep breath, wishing like hell that she could read his mind. Even though she knew what he was thinking, or at least thought she did, just by simply reading his body language and his face. But still, she wished she could crawl into his head and pick his brain. To know, and assure herself how he felt about her, even though she already knew.
She poured herself a cup of coffee, and hoped it was strong. “Good morning.”
“Hi.” He didn’t look up from his paper.
Annabelle tried to push down the hurt. Then again, the man could scarcely be blamed, either. She made haste in getting her coffee, and poured it into a travel mug. She quickly made a piece of toast for the morning ride into work, and kept her back to him as much as she could, hardly able to stand the thick-as-granite tension in the room. She took a couple deep breaths, and realized all she wanted was for him to hold her. Didn’t want to just imagine him holding her but wanting his arms around her.
Wanted him so badly, not just physically but in every way a woman could want a man. Her heart ached at the thoughts running rampant in her mind.
Annabelle caught a glimpse of him getting up, and setting his mug down in the kitchen sink. She hitched in a breath as his arm accidentally brushed up against hers. Her heart danced at the contact and, dear God, how she hungered for more. Then he looked up at her, held her gaze, and it seemed as though he’d been affected as well. She could see it in his eyes, that he missed her as much as she missed him. But still, he didn’t say anything, as he walked away and grabbed his coat.
She didn’t turn around when he left, just stood there, and heard the door shut behind him, as he made his way out. Resting her chin against her chest, she propped her hands against the kitchen sink, and silently let the tears fall.
Kade was relieved when he made his way to work, mostly relieved for the distraction it would bring. The tension in the cabin had been unbearable. The way she’d rejected him after he’d professed his love to her had been painful, and even more so the second time around. Like she’d poured a liberal amount of salt to his already exposed wound. But as hurt as he was, he still desired her, and had longed to take her in his arms this morning. She had looked so vulnerable, that his heart couldn’t help but ache for her. Even if she was frustrating him, and even if she’d told him she was not in love with him. None of that mattered because he knew the truth.
He knew deep down she was in love with him, but was afraid.
He realized he couldn’t worry about that right now, and tried to focus on his busy workday ahead of him. Although he wondered how much longer he could take being under the same roof as Annabelle.
When she pulled into the driveway that evening after work, she was surprised to find it empty. Usually his jeep was cozily parked there. The house was dark except for the front porch light. She frowned, and sensed something was different. Unlocking the door with shaking hands, her heart dropped when she saw the note on the kitchen table.
Annabelle,
I went into town, can no longer take living under the same roof. Don’t know when I’ll be back.
Kade
She let out the breath she’d been holding, as the note slipped from her fingers. She closed her eyes, trying not to let the tears fall, and angry with herself for crying in the first place. This made things easier, right? She didn’t want conflict, and her wish was granted. Still, she couldn’t help but feel lonely, and at least if he was here stomping around, she wouldn’t be by herself.
So, she picked up the phone and called Becky. It was time for a good old-fashioned, long overdue sleep over.
An hour later Annabelle and Becky were camped out on the couch in their pajamas. She’d brought over half a dozen chick flicks, all the junk food they’d need and probably more, and a box of Kleenex.
“Do you have any idea where he is?” Becky asked, stuffing a handful of cheesy popcorn into her mouth.
Annabelle licked her yellowed fingertips, and cocked her head as if to think before she answered.
“I’m not sure, I assume to his dad’s. But I don’t know.” She sighed. Trying to sound brave but knew she failed miserably. For all she knew he might be staying with that blonde he’d brought here that night.
Becky crossed her legs Indian style, setting aside her popcorn. The warm fire lighting and warming up the entire room, and Annabelle was glad she wouldn’t have to be alone tonight. The cabin hadn’t been the same without Kade. The reason it had ever felt like home to her was because of Kade.
“Annabelle, why can’t you just tell him how you really feel? Why tell him lies when it’s obvious you love him?” Becky asked, grabbing a handful of peanut M&M’s.
She gave her friend a sheepish look. “Is it that obvious?”
“Oh yeah, I think so. Your entire demeanor has changed over these last few weeks. You just have this glow about you, Annabelle. You’re happier than I’ve seen you in a long time. And you know it.”
Annabelle sighed again, not really knowing what to say.
“So let me ask you this. Why did you go to his door that night?”
Leave it to Becky to ask the tough, nitty-gritty in your face questions. She thought about that for a moment. “I don’t know. Because I wanted him.”
Becky motioned her hand as if to say, and.
“What?”
Her friend would not let her get away so easily. “I know there is more. This is me we’re talking to so spill it.”
“And because I love him, okay!” Annabelle practically yelled, and it felt good to say it out-loud, to have gotten it off her chest.
Becky grinned, such a huge grin it took up her entire heart shaped face. “Now, that’s better. Don’t you feel good for saying that out-loud?”
Annabelle shook her head. “It’s hard Becky. I mean I watched what marriage did to my parents, how my dad treated my mom, and it just scares me, among other things.” She had a hard time just getting the words out.
Becky nodded. “I know what you’re saying, and I can understand you’re scared, but Kade is not your dad. What your mom said to you the day you left Kade was wrong. She was probably speaking out in anger and frustration at her own miserable marriage, jealous of the loving relationship you found that she never could.”
Annabelle rested her head back into the sofa, closed her eyes, and allowed the tears to fall because she knew Becky was right. Things had been going great, and she was honestly the happiest she’d ever been in her entire life. When she was with Kade nothing else mattered, and she knew their marriage had its share of problems, but realizing it was nothing they couldn’t handle together. She then opened her eyes, looking at Becky and not really seeing her.
“I know, Becky, I know everything you said is the truth. But I’m broken.” She shook her head before continuing, “There is no way I can ever make a marriage work.”
Becky placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“Annabelle, you are not broken.” She smiled gently. “Just a little bent, that’s all. You deserve Kade, and until you start believing that then you’ll never be whole. You should let him love you, move on from the past, and look toward to your future.”
Annabelle tried to hold back her tears but no longer could as her friend pulled her close for a tight hug. She sobbed into Becky’s shoulder as everything she’d been feeling these last few months poured out of her.
Kade woke up the next morning and glanced at his new surroundings. Only then remembering he’d spent the night at his dad’s. He sighed, looking around at his old room, still decorated with old football trophies from high school, family photos, and an old Farah Fawcett poster from the seventy’s his dad had given him. He lay there thinking, and knew he couldn’t go back to the cabin, not yet. Knew he had to eventually, but last night he could not bring himself to do it.
What would he say to her that he hadn’t already told her? What would he do not being able to touch her, and hold her close? He’d already voiced his feelings for her, had already done his part, and couldn’t do anymore.
Kade took a quick shower and got ready for his workday.
His dad was in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast. The comforting smells of bacon and eggs cooking on the stove, and a fresh pot of strong coffee brewing made him feel like he was living at
home again, and his stomach grumbled. He thought of his mom, too, and how he wished she were still around. She would know exactly what to say to make him feel better. She could maybe talk to Annabelle, find out what was really bothering her because he knew she was holding something back from him. Maybe more than what he already knew, and maybe not. He wished he could read her mind.
His father offered a smile. “Good morning, Kade.”
“Hi, Dad, breakfast smells great.” He waited until the coffee was done brewing then poured two cups, setting his dad’s down on the kitchen table.
“Hope you’re hungry,”
Kade’s stomach growled once again in agreement.
“You know son, you’ll have to go face the music sooner or later,” his dad said, taking a sip of coffee before continuing, “She can’t keep up those walls up forever, you know.”
Kade shook his head, wishing he could know that for sure. “I know, Dad, and I realize I can’t stay away forever, either, but it’s just so damned hard seeing the woman I love constantly push me away.”
He nodded in sympathy. “I know. Just give her some time and patience, and she’ll come around. I know she loves you and you love her. I can tell just by the way you look at each other, when you think nobody’s watching.”
Kade hoped and prayed his dad’s words were true. Deep down a part of him knew it had to be, but his negative and doubtful side told him otherwise.
“From what you’ve told me about her past, it sounds like she’s been through a lot. Not just with her childhood, but after the divorce,” he paused, shaking his head, “and that had to be hard on her, not only physically but emotionally. She’s still living in the past, and you need to give her time to work through whatever it is she’s working through. Does that make sense?”