by Joshua Cohen
And then, that same Someone would’ve pulled the sun down, lowered it toward the horizon just opposite; hauling in all the properties for dimwatted storage. Even the sun falls, and in now’s inner light, the dinnerguests—because they are dinnerguests, and late, hungry, starving—throw shadows, as they gather themselves toward the set; they approach from the east, advancing, invading, a swarm, freshly showered locusts, shorn with their wives…hauling what they’re hauling you’d be slow, too, but they’re trying.
As they were late for the show, and as the show ended late, now they’re late for their dinner, expected: with a candle still burning held by a boy not so young anymore, melted old in his lasting, then a couple even with flowers, which have been snipped from the wilts of the wayside—essentially stolen, then wrapped up in skin, which is theirs though it be borrowed or bargained or dripping, and wine, which is red, dribbling behind them suspiciously thin; emptyhanded’s no way to arrive, no way to treat a host treating you. As they gather over the land, last explosions are heard, creationary clumps not a warning—smoke to the east they’re fleeing, if east: suns other and younger. They’re fired toward the arch, is the feeling: it’s oy the heat, which is worse though also welcomed as it means they still feel, then the smell, too, the burning, the singe of the sauce: baked chicken, and is that soup cooling on the stovetop above—tell me, I’m that lucky?
They smell; their nostrils open into their faces, eating up their heads into just more empty space to furnish then water with feed; there’s a distant door, opening…gusts: the smells of cedar and pine, lemonlime, which could as much be from the wood polish as the outdoors, from the forest as dark as it’s deep that’ll hide like a mouth as well as it swallows, keeps down; the smells, too, of fat, onion, paprika; they’re desperate for a snort, a schmeck to renew. Their mouths plump; saliva drips from the lip still ahead, trails from them for others to follow: a wandering path of goldening noodles, the more boiled the less hard the less straight and as yellow as yolks, with maybe a little cinnamon dusting, or sugar, that imitation cherry topping, too, not too much to ask; with each false wishniak sac soft in the redness of the #40 dye, how you bite into one and it just seeps into your tongue, you know, as your tongue itself and the pareve of it all’s as a sin: these noodles rise toward them, to greet, as if to wave, curl into their nostrils, then as if the shed skin of serpents, harden again, fossilize fixed, pulling them in, further and near and held tightly. Fumigations, as of the Temple days, but they’re themselves the sacrifices, and yet still how this offering’s intended for them, which means martyrdom. Such expectation, this sense without taste: wafting through their hooks caked in the mucuses of over six million infections; they inhale deeply, a reflex once guilty: enhancing the medicinal effect, as intended: them coming back to life, now that they’ve been called to account…deep in the diaphragm, a lineup at gut, as if reporting; they sneeze themselves into coughs, their lungs milk out a yellow, a responsive pure gold; their forms are wracked, they’re sent into involuntary fits, seizures, or it’s only now that they’re rushing, scrambling, no time to waste.
It’s not only the allergies or infections, though; it’s the promise of food more than the food itself, then the drink, the zissen l’chaim, the mashke, the schnapps, not even that—it’s the old appetite for the as-yet-unfulfilled. Their handkerchiefs, in their pockets, have been in their respective families for who knows how many generations ever since Adam first dressed Eve only in order that she should have a pocket for that apple of hers and so keeping her hands free for tree’s cleaning, the cooking of Eden: napkins stolen from the tables of every diningroom ever liquidated to stain more than could be sopped with a badge or by a country absorbed, clumped into tight balls, into furrowed globes, wadded with snot and liquids in a respiratory ersatz of rainbows. Approaching the summit, this Sinai’s high arch—they clear their throats, an invocation of phlegm, only in order to greet, to meet, say Shalom; only in order to tell their future generations of Adams and Eves about their own passage here—how they came to be at this dinner, how they came to sit and be served only after their crawl through the desert like snakes…the wasteland infertile no good racked an ocean away for the torture, the work details, the lineups, the musters, the no food or drink hunger and thirst, O the ovens!
Everything slows, when, to the kinder, the daughters Israelien all twelve of them Rubina through Batya, their guests, The guests as ours, are even only a few, fifteen minutes late, it’s forever. Rubbed wasted time, what to do. Sing a song, say a story. Tell me about your day, I’ll care as long as they’re coming. Upstairs. Our late wander on on intentions, always, please, and so it’s enough that they want to keep no one waiting, should be. Have patience, and enough with that shuffling. I’ll be up to tuck you in in an hour at 360º. Though this sound can’t be exorcised in that way, as it’s made in no image, has no source in the body that might seek to cool down or drown it: that of blood flowing’s too soft, a heartbeat too familiar, perhaps, makes you think of death’s love and not life, as it’s mechanically measured, pursed out by a Schedule, the pinch of a hand; it’s the tick, the timer’s tock, each tooth as its ancestor was, at the discretion of eternity, to the second, the minute; the sound, it comes from the oven, the oven at the end of the arch, the arch into the oven, then out the other side.
Here is their passing, from the world of the father to that of the mother, her power, again a reparenting: the menschs reduced, exampled less in their shrinking, their squeeze, while the womenfolk only gain, increase, go from strength to strength and further—over the ocean, perhaps the flow, the wetness, made it maternal. Over there, it’d been the Father, the overbearing idol, the loved one hated who’d reigned upon his high clerkdom chair, invested deeply in his dark office raiment, his threepiece, worsted wool suits, tie and hat, his habits of chess, coffee, tobacco, his ledgers kept in scrupulous scripture: sons mulling idle thoughts of patricide, while daughters were ignored, then the mother, too, she was kept marginal if not flipped past forgotten. Here and now, though, it’s the Mother, chesty in her coming, asserted—demonstratively disapproving, her questions as to how late they are proceeding without an apology, in mounting degrees of scrutiny with each tongued flick of the timer, which is the soul of her face tipped with the wag of a finger, accusative, the settling of blame on all but herself—and as for the father, he’s fallen, demoted, let go as the weaker, submissive, stripped bare of his birthright, mortified as made mortal; less meat and more soup: watery broth with its lentils cut up so that Aba won’t gag, it’s too sad. Admit how it’s sexualized, psychology, that science we’ve made to explain our suffering as an internal affair, if only to forgive those truly responsible and so, we hope, to avoid future wrath; the redoubled vengeance of those who do us the one, true, and inexplicable harm, as if nothing’s more natural save how well they keep themselves free from guilt…as if the sons surviving, they’ve agreed to dispense with the middle, the mediating paternal—and to head instead straight for the issue; to dive down headfirst, back into the black from whence they’d issued in warnings better kept private for centuries, generations of gross sublimation, denial: the Mother, the womb…them going into the oven, then out the other side—as another, reborn: not matricide, but an erotic fight—against death.
Her, she’s the head of the household now, around here wears the skirts.
And her tick, it sets even the kinder salivating—Josephine’s hiding under the covers, suckling knees that’re maybe her own. Her mother, our hostess, her timer’s swept through its circle, has timed the rich round of her face in a licking of crumbs from her chins…and yet still—despite the overwhelmingly regular, even attractive, features, the sweet eyes and mouth and the long lashes and small ears behind which the short hair hides as if it fears her, too, her snap judgments, her nosy impatience—and yet still, despite everything made in the mirror, it’s a roundness lamentably random, without relative order, not as much a mistake that can be rectified as it is an object that must be reckon
ed with in its every imperfection, you have my apologies: her moles and wrinkles, the marks of such an expressioned though meaningless spanse…her flesh morning moisturized and madeup in a false cycle imposed on the raw, is what rankles, puts off, the excess blotchy and loose without cream—ding, ding, Ding. And into all this, with its own history, its own pledges and perils if lesser than any they’d left then no less dire within their own context: counters, a dishwasher, a sink like a pit without bottom, its wastes drained entire counties away—into this, our guests emerge: they come through the arch, the homehearth, the stove he says oven she says and how she’s always right, it’s her kitchen—they enter it, into a world tiled and stainless an ocean away, across, on the wind, on the smoke; with the round white detector making a noise, frightening, an alarm misinterpreted and so, for a moment, until a window’s opened to air, everyone’s frozen, stilled with a bad heart ticked between times…this process not so much a transubstantiation as a forgetting; an experience maybe better controlled with medication, prescription: two pills—one for the heart and one for the head—and they’re Out, then In again…in this kitchen, where their hostess has been cooking away since forever: rushing to the sidedoor in heels matching her mitts, to wave their smoke out into night.
Tonight’s guests, they’ve endured the oppression of that most cultivated, civilizing of structures: an arch, which humbles, makes modest, weathering the threat of its stones to fall, the rocktumbled warning, the tomb’s guard, the sepulcher’s sentry, that that’s served from night immemorial as a gateway through the electrified fence to their keeping, ensuring a bow through the barbs, giving mouth to the fire that would destroy their design even as it feeds its own flames—O the deepthroated, humiliate way, this passage of exile that’s wordless yet punctuated with stark vowels of grief: the songlessness of the conquered, stooped under the arching shade of the willows by the banks of the Babylon rivers; the Roman shuffle as shy as a caretaker, pressed through the cracks between the stones of the Temple, to be remade into either oil or Europe: how they’ve survived if with head hung the terror underlying the form—the arch’s essential destruction, debasement: in its greatest manifestations forcing submission, almost negating of presence; in its least variations standing so tiny and tight that the quills along with the parchment are flayed from any soul processed through—how through this, again, they’ve survived, and miraculously with their appetite still intact…only to emerge from an oven, across the ocean and its lip they’re stepping high and slowly as if poultry themselves, so as not to break or catch anything over the door, opened for their hostess to check on the baking, theirs or that of a surrogate sacrifice—the chicken they’re coming out like, about to be served; still, singeing what hair they have left, snagging their limp, raggedy dresses, worn and torn skirts, their loose, thousandmark suits on wire racks whose grilling appears to mark stripes across their ripped uniforms, too, shreds them into ties, strips into bands to bind tight their hats in their hands. Their glasses go fogged, and so they remove them; they’re all wearing glasses: one schmuck in a pincenez, regular specs the rest; remove them by their bridges, by their noses, their ears, then go groping for the hems of their garments, to wipe. Upon emergence, their stars lose their luster and fall from their breasts, cool to the ground as if cookies or cakes of six pointed flavors, which are as treats for the kinder: holdovers, of sorts, to tide them for bed if they’re asleep come the dawn of dessert. Singer helps his wife out; the Rosenkrantzs, even the wife of them winnowed to bones by now and so dry they’re not even fit for the pot that clouds up above, its soup stirred around with a pinch too much pity—both try to cram through at the same time, but orderly, in step, holding hands. They’ve been conditioned so thoroughly by now, trained, made to follow orders as if a recipe for themselves: a perfect selfpoison, its only and secret ingredient, fear (they all bow their heads save the last of them, Feigenbaum, who hits his); some of them young, some old, some healthy, some sick, some, relatively—they might be related. As a homemaker, a homemacher, as her husband would kid, who she prides herself on knowing her way around every substitute, how to deal with each lack of ingredient, keeps herself knifesharp, spoon-willing, tines tastes herself to ensure: makes piles, takes lists, sneaks groupings and tests; and with no attempt to make separate, between who’s been expected, already counted into the sum of the chairs, assigned placesetting and portion, and who’s been lucky enough to have managed her charity with a spontaneous tip, or on an invitation palmed off secondhand—there won’t be a problem, I’m sure…as she comes back from her guard at the door, how she’s cold to the nose as she greets them whether by name or with respect for their ruses: some meriting hugs with the mittens all thumbs, and with kisses for others, one cheek each or one for each cheek, it depends.
They the arrived late ask altogether, Are we early? or only one or two of them do, of the women, that is, and how it just sounds that they speak for their husbands, as well—and foreheads are slapped…even that of the moon, a gestural smack at the glass, into night. When we don’t know what to do or say or even if, we ask, instead—if you’re uncomfortable in that, why don’t you take it off, change the subject—after the opinion of weather: It was warm today, unseasonally, but we’re in for a coldspell, I’m told…as some assemble as if into fronts themselves around the islands of kitchen, the counterings, a mass of grays and black, already arguing and with lightnings of vein in the eyes that say not that they’re angry, just tired; others begin noshing on what food’s left out, sip water cupped directly from the tap; as some remain in the kitchen and offer to help prepare if just to get away from their husbands, their wives; as others go to hang their Homburgs or their husbands’ in the hall where is the rack: mine’s the third from the left, don’t get any ideas; there are those who take their seats already in the diningroom, which is presumptuous enough though it’s not like they’d sit well with denial: seating themselves down in order of increasing age and infirmity, that would make sense, though not in terms of the actual arrangement of chairs to the right and left of their host at the head, but merely in relation to who’s able to sit first as none of them are much help to those for whom it’s a challenge: their napkins already tucked into their collars loose of a button, or up if weakly atop their irritable laps; their knives and forks held erect, at the ready.
Theirs has been an aliyah, though of a weaker species, a pilgrimage if oppositely directioned: in a distancing turned around at a deadend, before becoming stuck in a loop—a strangers’ sojourn, made to a strange kitchen in a strange house set amid a Development that has been designed so that nothing within it seems strange, which intention feels as if inspired by the divine chance of convenient location, amid a township that—if estranging to many too confused with the materiality of this world that confines them in its tile and grout to ever live freely themselves—was created complete with an excellent school system, too; how we live for our kinder: with its property values nothing to fault save the taxes, how ten cents of every dollar’s been allocated to educating our youngest in the various historical manners by which guests like ours have arrived here alive, if burnt badly; an emergence accounted for, approved, and even financed by the reparate banks of rivers never forgotten through even the unquenchable fire.
Theirs is a life remade, as if a recipe critically revised, secondchances for the not yet overseasoned; a spoil saved what with the mold scraped off with the challahknife of the woman at whose pleasure they’re hosted, these survivors, surviving—only at the indulgence of her slaving, that is, though she’s not letting on how exhausted, especially this week, despite the fact that with that kind of kvetch you run the risk and in slippers of misunderstanding, they all do, and even she herself every once in a while: she’s happy to oblige, though, that she doesn’t have to tell them about slavery.
And so the smile, all pep and pantry rearrangement, it says: we’re so pleased you’re alive, it’s a miracle you finally made it!
Call me Hanna, she asks when Feigen
baum calls her Misses Israelien to ask her whether it’s fine with her for him to sit where he’s already sitting and that without demonstrating any real intention to get up and move, and how she asks it of him sweetly…Hanna’s enough; not like she’d just been made to feel old, even worse: one of them. No problem, please—just stay where you are.
And then how Feigenbaum says, I had a grandmother named Hanna, I think—I think I remember.
I don’t know, it’s my head. You have any aspirin?
O, the queen of this kitchen, the bride who’s married this house into home, the Development’s mother, matriarch of Joysey just an hour’s commute from New York—she’s flushed, hot; worry about yourself, though, it’s only this, which she’s used to by now as if the condition’s become a daughter itself: a moon always full whose light’s to be doted upon, cradled as if a basket she’s hoping to lose to a distant river that runs dark and thick monthly…
Feigenbaum asks, Since it’s bad luck to ask, sometime when we’re not expecting it can you just say him or her so we’ll know. I hope I live long enough to meet, which is it again…I forget.
Nu, grant thee according to thine own heart, if you’re familiar, and, nu, she is and she’s isn’t: familiar because she’s pregnant again, swollen and snippy and thinning of hair, though her other daughters had never overstayed and by so much their welcome, what’s it a week well past due, any night now into day how she’ll spring open a door, the smoke that attends though it’s the doctor who’ll be wearing the mitts…high on the hospital wall, the deliveryroom as if a vacation house that’s how much time she’s spent there, she remembers: her as round as its clock and as pale, that and upon its thirteenth cycle its last how she’s slowing, how quickly she’s stilling, the tick of a timer winding down not just on a tray or dish warming but on the mechanism itself, the entire body she came with, the oven of her womb without warranty as installed too near the soul and too private—and then, at the same time, as she finds herself answering Feigenbaum’s psalm with her silence (behold, she recalls: she that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep), not so much familiar…which sensation she feels moved to explain is almost pregnant itself, as if by itself, selfgenerating in how it’s constantly, circumlunarly estranging me from myself, I’m so lost, but she doesn’t; in the end, timelessly unfamiliar, because—and this she withholds by fingering a knob, a drawer’s navel—not only is it a boy, Mazel Tov, but why does it feel like He’s early?