“Has she been this distant all week?” Kaleb asked. I could see Zack and Emily preparing to leave.
“Yeah, she has. Since Erick and Morgan were here. She’s been depressed. I’ve hardly gotten a word out of her, and she hasn’t eaten much this week, either,” I answered. It was clear she was losing what bit of weight she had been able to gain.
Kaleb had only come by one day, trying to talk to her, but she wouldn’t let him anywhere near her. I didn’t blame her, although I was extremely worried about her.
“Did one of them say something to scare her?” Kaleb asked, looking over at her.
“I don’t think so. I think it’s more to do with whatever her panic brought on when she was in that crawl space last week,” I answered, watching my girl.
“Hey man, we’re gonna head out,” Zach said. “You sure you’ll be okay with the little one tonight?”
“I’ll be fine,” I said.
“I’m just a phone call away if you change your mind,” he said, before bidding us all goodbye.
“Can I talk to her? I know you aren’t your normal self when it comes to her; you’re too soft on her,” Kaleb said, half amused.
I couldn’t deny that I was soft on her. Normally, no one could make me care so deeply about them in such a short amount of time. Most people knew I wasn’t one to be messed with.
“Yeah, go ahead,” I said with a smile. “I’ve gotten a lot more out of her today than I have all week.”
“Oh, I’ll get something out of her,” Kaleb said in determination.
“Just be nice,” I sighed, worried he’d press the wrong buttons to get her to talk.
“When aren’t I?” he winked before going over to my girl. At first, she ignored him, and it took a little coaxing before she slowly followed him out of the room and into a quieter one.
“Maybe she needs anti-depressants,” my father said, leaning against the desk beside me.
“I wouldn’t want her on those unless there is no other choice,” I said, remembering all too well the feeling of everything being muted and dulled.
“It may help her cope with everything,” my mom spoke up. “She’s been through so much in such a short amount of time.”
I probably needed to be a tad bit tougher on her to get through to her; that she couldn’t let life get her down, just because her memories got the best of her.
“Not right now,” I said, hoping to get my parents to drop the subject.
“Alright, son,” my father said, patting my shoulder. “Do you think Dawn will want to keep this child?”
“I honestly have no idea,” I sighed, looking down at the baby.
“What do you plan to do if she doesn’t?” Mom asked.
“Well, with Emily and Zack expecting a baby within seven months, I don’t think they would be up to taking this one on. Emily is strong, but she can only take so much. The both of you aren’t up to long nights,” I said, looking between my parents. “I think Kelly and Kaleb would be the best option, as they plan to adopt anyways, since they won’t be able to have any more biologically.”
“If she wants to keep her?” my dad asked.
“Then you’ll be grandparents a few months sooner than planned,” I laughed lightly. “And I’ll have to go shopping.”
“What do you hope she decides?” Dad asked.
“My wants are whatever Dawn wants,” I answered, looking back down at the baby. She began to stir, looking for food.
“You want her,” my mom replied with a smile. I was not going to let my own wants out.
“Mom,” I warned, but she merrily chuckled and patted my cheek before going to make a bottle for the baby.
“Do you want us to stay the night? I’m pretty sure the child will be okay, health-wise,” my dad said.
“You and Mom can go home. We’ll be fine,” I yawned.
“You’re tired,” Mom said, handing me a warm bottle filled with two ounces of formula. “Why haven’t you been sleeping?”
“My sleeping partner hasn't slept much. Too many nightmares, but we’re just fine,” I said, knowing my parents would try to push sleeping pills on her if given the chance.
“Okay, so,” Vence said, “We’ll head out then. Call if you need anything at all...”
“Of course,” I said, taking the bottle away so I could burp the baby.
Mom gave me a hug before leaving, and said they’d call sometime tomorrow so they would know what Dawn and I decided.
Chapter 20
Dawn
A tiny whimper woke me up about an hour later. The movie was still playing and the ship had just run into the huge iceberg. I blinked my eyes, trying to figure out what exactly woke me. When the noise happened again, I remembered the baby Elijah had set in the box on the floor.
I slowly made my way out of Elijah’s limp hold as he snored on. I looked at him and could see the dark circles around his eyes. I felt bad for keeping him up during the night with the nightmares that plagued me. I didn’t want to wake him, so I took a deep breath and moved towards the baby who was searching for food and wiggling around. Her blanket was loose around her.
Slowly and carefully, holding my breath, I picked her up and brought her to my chest while grabbing a diaper from the fabric box.
She was so light compared to Lilly, who was easy to support on her legs and feet now while you held her.
Once in the kitchen and I quickly made her a bottle and changed her diaper—which was wet—before holding and feeding her. I made my way back to the living room, taking a seat in the oversized chair.
She fit perfectly in my arm.
I knew I was hooked. Her green eyes were open, and she looked up at me as she drank the bottle. She instantly had me captivated. I wasn’t sure who her mother was, but I had a feeling Erick was the father, just because he had the reputation of not taking preventative measures.
I made myself comfortable in the chair, holding her to my chest as she went back to sleep. Now I had picked her up, I didn’t want to put her down. She was the something worth fighting for. She had me wrapped around her little heart, and I would do just about anything for her.
Elijah
I was confused. It was now dark outside, and I was alone on the couch. Glancing at the clock underneath the TV, I read that it was just after midnight, which meant I’d slept on the couch for a solid six hours. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, feeling more refreshed than I had for weeks.
Sitting up, I looked around the living room, my eyes landing on the oversized chair Dawn was curled up on, sound asleep. Cradled on her chest was the baby, held in both arms and a blanket stuffed up against her so she wouldn’t fall. My heart swelled at the sight, and I snapped a picture on my phone of them together.
No wonder I didn’t hear the baby. I expected to be woken up shortly after I fell asleep, not knowing if Dawn would get up with her, or if she’d ignore the baby all together. I was happy to see it, knowing there was still life inside her somewhere.
When I’d walked Kaleb out, I asked what they talked about. He wouldn’t tell me anything, saying it was all up to her. Whatever it was must have worked, as she ate most of the pizza I sat down in front of her, and now she was taking care of the baby, letting me sleep.
Not wanting to wake either of them up, I gently laid another blanket over them, and took care of the empty bottle lying on the floor.
Not knowing what to do, I sat back down and watched some mindless TV and played on my phone.
I’d only just started to doze back off from boredom when the baby began to stir. I was up and making a bottle by the time Dawn blinked awake. When I came back to give it to her, she was sitting up and changing the baby's diaper again. Dawn’s eyes were brighter, and I’m pretty sure a few hours of good sleep had helped her greatly.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked, sitting back down on the couch, facing her.
“Yeah, I did,” she said, glancing up at me with a small smile. My own smile broke out at seeing her happy and content�
��a much better sight than yesterday morning.
“Good to hear,” I replied happily. “Is the baby doing okay? No breathing troubles?”
She shook her head, watching the little one eat with a smile.
“Do you want to go back to sleep?” I asked, knowing she had to be tired from lack of sleep, but once again, I only got a no from her as she tended to the baby and got up, moving to sit next to me. “Alright, then how about we play twenty questions? It’s where we take turns asking each other things.”
“Okay,” she said, laying the baby down between us and playing with her hands. I thought the game would be a great way for her to hopefully open up more, since she seemed to be in a better mood for the time being.
“Great, I’ll go first,” I said. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Blue. Yours?” she answered quietly.
“Green,” I answered, not even having to think about it. She smiled, knowing my reasoning, and I loved it. “Favorite food?”
“Ice cream, maybe?” she said in thought. “I don’t know.”
“I’ll let you eat whatever you want, whenever you want, until you find your favorite,” I promised her. “Mine would be steak.”
It went back and forth for about half an hour. I didn’t want to ask too many personal questions that would cause her to clam up. There were so many things I wanted to ask to learn more about her, but knew now wasn’t the time.
“Can I ask something?” she said quietly.
“Of course,” I answered, hiding my surprise.
“Are you going to punish me for the way I acted this past week?” she asked, blushing and looking anywhere but at me. Ah, so she was finally back from wherever her mind had taken her to.
“Do you think you need to be punished?” I asked. I didn’t want to, but if it made her feel better, I would.
“I broke your rules. I didn’t keep the house in order, and I ignored you,” she whispered. “You said I would be punished if I disobeyed.”
“Yes, I did,” I said, moving to kneel in front of her so she was forced to meet my eyes. I could see the tears gathering. “I also didn’t command you in any way to do anything for me. I wanted you to come to me, when you felt better and were able to come to terms with things.”
“I didn’t do anything for you,” she said, her voice breaking.
“I didn’t force you to, so you didn’t ignore me,” I said. “So, do you want to be punished?”
“No,” she said instantly, with a quick shake of her head.
“Then I won’t. Please, next time you feel so down, come talk to me, alright?”
“Yes, Sir,” she answered, relieved, leaning back.
“Anything else?” I asked, seeing her emotions flicker across her face. I could see indecision and worry, but also hope.
“Kaleb said I needed to find something to make me fight,” she began quietly. “Something to make me want to fight, to move on, and I think I did.”
“What made you decide?” I asked, already having a good idea.
A warm smile spread across her face as her eyes lit up, as she answered. “I lost my own baby, and I wondered what she’d have looked like if she’d lived. I probably wouldn’t have been able to keep her or him while I was there, but I still had to wonder. I don’t think this one should have to live a life with the fear of feeling alone.”
“Kelly and Kaleb would give her everything she needs or wants. Same as I—we—could do,” I replied. She picked the baby up as she began to whine.
“I think . . . I want . . .” she mumbled.
“You want to keep her?” I asked, keeping my shock and joy masked as much as I could.
“Please?” she asked, almost begged, as she held the baby to her chest like she was never going to let go.
“Of course,” I smiled. “That means we will have to go shopping, or at least I will, to get some things. And we’ll need to find a name for her.”
“Really?” she asked, sitting up a little too fast and scaring the poor little one. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yes, really,” I clarified with a smile. Her returning smile lit up the room. It was warm and happy, and full of life. “Let me go grab my computer and see what we can find. We may be lucky; the stores may have what we want in stock, furniture wise. I’ll send Zack and Emily, and maybe my mother, to pick the items up we need for now. We have to have a car seat for her before she can go out shopping.
“Kaleb heard back with info on the girl, and the timing matches. She'd just been released from social services a month before, so there’s no family looking for her,” I said, making sure Dawn knew there was no chance that the baby would have to be given up to the next of kin. I’d make sure we were approved to go through the adoption process, even though I saw no reason we wouldn’t be able to.
Within the next hour, we had ordered a crib, car seat, stroller, high chair, changing table, and a bunch of clothes. The store was one of the higher priced ones, but would be able to have everything delivered later that day, and installers to set everything up for us. The furniture was all matching cherry wood. We compromised on a simple sleigh style crib, where the bed was close to the floor but easier to lay the baby down.
I knew my parents still had the Moses basket and wicker bassinet they’d used with me and Zack. Kelly would gladly send all the clothes that her little one had outgrown over to us, so for the time being, I believed we were set. I would call Tom and get the paperwork started to make this little one our own. I would be pushing the foster papers through so we didn’t have to juggle the baby around from house to house while we waited for approval.
“What will we name her?” I asked, laying the computer on the coffee table, and turning to Dawn.
“Elizabeth?” she asked shyly. It was just a name I’ve always loved.
“Elizabeth Renea,” I replied, giving the baby a middle name after my grandmother, who I’d heard of from stories, as she had passed away when I was too small to remember.
“Perfect,” she agreed, stroking the baby’s cheek lovingly.
When it was an appropriate time of day, and after feeding and holding Elizabeth—Lizzy—I called Kaleb to ask about the clothes. He wasn’t surprised by the outcome, but now joked that I needed to marry my girl. I brushed him off, not wanting to think about that step yet.
I then made a call to Jenks, my lawyer and go-to guy when I needed real documents I couldn’t get through legal ways. I got the birth certificate filled out, along with a social security number, and he assured me they’d both be in the mail within weeks. Having ties to the mafia did have its perks.
The last phone call was to my parents, who were both pleasantly surprised and promised to have the over as soon as they got them cleaned up. My mom was happy to be a grandmother.
I held Elizabeth as Dawn went to go take a shower, and I couldn’t help but compare how alike they looked. Green eyes, dark hair, and a heart shaped faces. It would be well worth the trouble to make sure this house was baby safe, and every I was dotted for the adoption process to be pushed through as quickly as possible.
Emily and Kaleb showed up just as Dawn came down, bringing a brush with her. She silently asked me to do her hair, and I obliged, knowing we both enjoyed it.
“Braid?” I asked as she took a seat on the floor in front of me.
“Sure,” she shrugged. “I don’t know anything other than a ponytail and braids.”
“Yeah, that’s about as much as I know too,” I softly replied as I began working on her hair. I would need to see about getting her to someone for a trim to even the ends out soon—if she would agree, of course.
Five minutes later, Dawn’s soft hair was in a French braid and I went to help Kaleb bring in the boxes and bags of clothes. I knew they had overbought, just because they could. The girls were busy going through one box in the living room, as us guys trekked the others upstairs for later.
“She seems to be in better spirits today,” Kaleb commented as we sat the last of t
he boxes in the closet so they wouldn’t be in the way later. I had chosen the room Dawn would have had as the baby’s, and I had Kaleb help me move the bed out and into one of the spare rooms.
“Yes, she is,” I agreed, closing the closet door. “Whatever you said to her helped a lot.”
“I knew it would,” Kaleb said, as we headed back downstairs to our girls.
Chapter 21
Dawn
I finally felt like I belonged. I couldn’t help but watch Elijah with Lizzy. He was a natural, and it made me love him even more. I did have to wonder where his Dom side was hiding, since I’d hardly seen it. I asked about it as we looked through the most adorable cute girl clothes, hoping to find something that would fit our baby.
Lilly was on her tummy, chewing on her hands and watching what was going on around her. Lizzy lay wiggling on a blanket not too far from me. I could see them both being the best of friends as they grew up, and it helped to make me feel like I’d made the right choice.
“He’s always been soft around you,” Emily had said. “I bet when the time comes to the bedroom activities, it will show up. He seems to be tamer in that aspect since you came back into his life.”
I blushed bright red as the idea gave me warm butterflies in my belly, and Emily laughed at me. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.
“Do you think he really likes me that way? I know I haven't been the best since I’ve been here and all . . .” I trailed off.
“Of course he does! You haven't been ready for that, but you will be soon. You’re asking about it, so don’t deny that you like the idea.”
I smiled shyly as I heard the boys come back down the stairs. I had to admit to myself, I was curious. It was a fascinating lifestyle, and I think I was getting to the point that I wanted to know more, to have that type of relationship—as long as it stayed in the bedroom.
“When will the furniture be here?” Emily asked, looking up from the pile of clothes she had laid out across her lap.
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