by Ted Dekker
One, she looked and smelled like a dog who’d rolled in a pile of manure. Running hunched over wasn’t the way to avoid attention.
Two, she didn’t know if this was due east.
But she couldn’t stop now. She’d never get her legs moving again. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that the road headed in the opposite direction ran past a wide open field. No strip mall. So she must have guessed right.
Paradise stood as straight as she dared and hurried forward, refusing to look to her right or her left, afraid of what she might see. Cars, people, the killer, monsters, ghosts, demons… Any or all of them were hiding in wait, she was sure of it. She just had to keep her legs moving until she could find that garbage bin. Maybe she could hide inside until she figured out what to do.
She was hyperventilating, so she closed her mouth and forced herself to breathe through her nose, counting as taught. One, two. One, two. What had to be half a block passed. Maybe more. Buildings loomed ahead to her right, that had to be it. If she could just make it…
A car honked, and she let out a startled cry, but she didn’t look up. Then she thought it might run her over, so she glanced to her right just to be sure. It was on the other side of the road, trying to get past another car.
The sidewalk ended in a parking lot and she stopped. At the end there is a large green garbage bin.
“What’s your problem?”
She spun to the voice on her right. Two young women sat on the hood of a car, facing the direction she’d come from. She knew the type from her outings across the Internet. The narrow jeans like tubes, the black fingernail polish, the cigarettes, the silver-studded belts.
“You lost, you freak?”
“You think I’m a freak?” Paradise heard herself saying. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”
She had no idea why she would say such a thing, not now, not ever, especially not here. She’d lost her grip on reality and was suffering a psychotic break.
The girl who’d spoken looked like she’d been slapped. “Tramp. You look like you just crawled out of a garbage bin. I bet the men just love you, don’t they?”
The words settled into Paradise’s mind, then burned down to her soul, the utter truth of them. Her wit, so quick behind protected walls, failed her completely. She was a skank. Dirt. Now she both looked and smelled the part.
Paradise turned and fled toward the green garbage bin, which she could now see. On the backside of the bin, a cement enclosure hid her.
She crouched down on her heels and threw her hands to her ears to stop the ringing and, although she felt a little safer holding herself, the tone went on, like a signal, warning that she was about to break apart.
Slowly, she sank to her seat and let herself cry.
Under that bin you will find an envelope with money and a cell phone.
A cell phone. Angie. She caught her breath. She could call Angie! She would know what to do, right? The man had demanded she keep her mouth shut, but she could call her sister and no one would know. Angie would know what to do.
Paradise dropped down and peered under the garbage bin, saw the manila envelope and pulled it out. Frantic now, she ripped it open. Some hundred-dollar bills spilled out. A cell phone clattered to the stained concrete.
She snatched it up and quickly entered her sister’s cell number.
The phone rang. Again. Then again and her sister’s voice came on asking the caller to leave a message. But she shouldn’t leave a message!
The whole idea of calling her sister suddenly struck her as terribly dangerous. What if the killer found out and felt he had to tie up loose ends? She ended the call and tried to think.
Take the money in the envelope, go into the beauty salon, and ask them to make you pretty. Like your sister, Angel. Pay them all the money, there’s five hundred dollars there.
Everything had happened so fast, and she’d been so terrified that she hadn’t asked the most obvious question: What exactly did the killer have in mind? Why did he want her to come out?
But she knew there was no value in asking a question that had no immediate answer. It would only make her task more difficult.
The answer to what would happen if she didn’t come out, on the other hand, did have an immediate answer. He would kill Brad.
Brad, the man who she thought she loved. But she was a fool, wasn’t she? Floating around her room like a bird, imagining that she loved a real man and that maybe, just maybe, a real man loved her. The thought of it now made her ill. It was all absurd!
You look like you just crawled out of a garbage bin. I bet the men just love you.
Paradise picked up the bills one by one, and stood to her feet. The sign over the beauty salon read FIRST IMPRESSIONS-HEALTH AND BEAUTY SPA.
She’d sometimes wondered what it would be like to be beautiful like her sister, but she’d never found the need to chase after impossible dreams. Actually, it had never even been a dream. She didn’t spend much time thinking about how she looked.
But she couldn’t save Brad’s life looking like a skank-even the killer knew that. She was on the outside now, and out here people noticed ugly people. Even Brad would notice her ugliness.
Paradise slid the money into her pocket with the phone, noticing then for the first time that her jeans were two inches too short. She’d mistakenly grabbed the pair that Andrea had told her never to wear again unless she wanted to look like a dork.
The walk across the parking lot to the beauty salon was a long one, but she made it without being stopped. A barely audible chime sounded when she pushed her way past the glass door. Hang on, Paradise. Be brave.
She’d never been in a beauty salon before, and what she saw sent a bolt of terror right down to her heels. The room was large. Around the perimeter a dozen chairs faced mirrored walls. Seven or eight women looked up as she walked in, all strangers.
Monsters. Demons. More women were under helmets. Aliens.
She’d seen pictures, but actually standing here in a salon triggered a fresh panic attack. Her heart began to pound like a piston and the air was suddenly too thin to breathe. She had to grab the counter to keep from falling.
Stringy hair, high-water jeans, chewed-down fingernails, hairy armpits-she didn’t belong here. She smelled like she’d rolled out of a compost heap, because she had. Now she was playing the part of the mentally ill, and she was pulling it off so well that she had them all fooled. Even her name made a mockery of who she really was.
“Can I help you?” She jumped back. She hadn’t noticed the girl in the chair behind the counter.
“Um…” Paradise dug out the money, all of it, and placed it carefully on the countertop. “Can someone make me look beautiful?”
“YOU’RE SURE?”
“Yes!” Allison nearly shouted. “Of course I’m sure. There’s no sign of her. We’ve searched every inch of the grounds. She’s gone and there’s no reason for it.”
“Is the artist there?”
“He’s been waiting in the lobby for half an hour. That’s what triggered the search. We went looking for her, but she’s not here. And I can’t seem to get Brad Raines on the phone. I figured he might know something, but I can’t imagine that he’d take her out. Or, for that matter, that she’d agree to go out.”
The scenario was truly impossible, Allison thought. Paradise would never leave no matter how much she thought she loved someone, not without talking it through with her.
“Why would Brad know anything?” the special agent in charge asked.
She gave her best answer. “They shared something special. She trusts him, which is saying more than you can probably realize. He might have asked her to leave, but not without speaking to me about it.”
James Temple hesitated. “We have another problem. Agent Raines has been missing since sometime last night.”
Allison sat down, phone plastered to her ear. “Dear God. Dear God, he’s going to kill her.”
28
THE BUZZ WAS
back with a ferocity that unnerved Quinton, truly bothered him, for the first time since he’d been sent by God to find the bride. For half an hour he’d let Rain Man talk, methodically weaving his tale of alternative theories. What if, what it, what if, what if… Like a demon trying to seed doubt.
It was all madness. Quinton had learned a long time ago that one man’s madness was another man’s sanity. What most in the world saw as twisted might not be twisted at all, but profound truth. Or vice versa.
Wasn’t that the tale of every great prophet? Wasn’t that why the world had killed the Messiah? Wasn’t that why the assassin had pulled the trigger on Gandhi? Wasn’t that Martin Luther King’s downfall? In each case, someone believed each man to be dangerously mad. Yet the so-called madness proved to be an alternative sanity of the highest order, a better way of looking at the world that went against the grain but was, in fact, truth.
Likewise, the beautiful truth that Quinton bore was the product of a profound enlightenment.
Buzz, buzz, buzz…
A drop of sweat leaked down Quinton’s temple. “The problem with your theory, Rain Man, is it presupposes that I’m the mad one. Rather presumptuous, don’t you think?”
“Who said anything about mental illness?” Brad asked with an involuntary tinge of smugness. He’d slid back down to his seat and now looked up at his captor with steady eyes, which also bothered Quinton. If he didn’t still need the man alive, Quinton would be tempted to blow a hole in his head right now, at this very moment. Thankfully, he had more self-control than most.
“I don’t know why I’m bothering to listen to you.” He glanced at his phone again, begging it to vibrate in his hand with the call from Paradise.
Buzz, buzz, buzz…
“I’m only saying that a small part of your thinking may be flawed,” Rain Man said. “That there might be an alternative.”
“You finished?” He couldn’t ignore the buzzing, and he couldn’t ignore the man’s logic, and he was aware of the sweat gathering on his brow. It all bothered him, and now he was agitated by the fact that he was bothered. He’d dismissed Nikki’s pathetic attempt at reason. Why would Rain Man’s words-and he must remember that they were mere words-bother him?
“No, Quinton, I’m not finished.”
“I don’t have to listen to this.”
“No, but you’re not like the rest. Shutting your ears to an argument isn’t your way. Only fools do that.”
The man was using Quinton’s own arguments against him.
He sat down in the chair and crossed one leg over the other, willing the phone in his hand to buzz before the buzzing in his head turned him senseless. He had the time and he had a brain. Buzzards were flying low and dive-bombing the world with demonic spirits. The boy was on the pier. Fishing. Eating ice cream. While angels plotted the death of all politicians.
His mind was jumping.
Too active. Too manic. And it was hurting.
Take your medication like a good boy, Quinton. There you go, you worthless piece of buzzard meat.
“Are you okay?”
Quinton blinked. Who was this man to ask him such an absurd question? He was the one tied to the pole. For the buzzards.
“What’s your point?” Quinton asked.
“My point is that you’re right. An infinite God can have multiple favorites. His love for every human is… how did you put it?”
Quinton frowned. “Inexhaustible,” he said.
“Yes. Infinite love, which is by definition the greatest kind. If he has the greatest love for every single human, he can’t have a lesser love for one of them. They are all his favorite, so to speak. Some would say that favorite means to favor one over the other, but used loosely it helps us understand that his full and utter devotion is fixed completely on each one, in the same way one would think of a favorite. That’s quite insightful.”
“Very good, Rain Man. So you think the fact that you’ve seen what is obvious should earn you some favor, is that it?”
“No. Not for me.”
“Oh, that’s right. This is about Paradise. You haven’t proven that you aren’t who I think you are. You’ve been running at the mouth making points that are as plain as the dirt. You’re trying to stall to give your friends more time to find us. And now I’m getting bored with it.”
Rain Man drilled him with that smug stare, and Quinton suppressed a ferocious urge to hit him in the head with something.
“I’m getting to that, Quinton-”
“Stop calling me that!”
“What would you like me to call you?”
“Anything closer to how you really feel about me. How about Devil? Or Demon. I’m not your personal little Quinton. As you speak, the buzzards are being dropped by demons.”
Buzz, buzz, buzz.
He knew his thinking was fracturing, and for the first time in many years he’d betrayed that fragmentation in front of someone. Maybe he would have to kill this man after all.
Rain Man didn’t seem put off. “My point is that I share your logic. That I’m on the right side. Your side. I’ve been looking for you for months, and I knew that when I finally found you I would need to persuade you that I was one of the good guys.”
The man wasn’t making sense. Quinton’s head was throbbing. Dive-bombing.
“I’m one of the good guys,” he said. “And you’re trying to stop me.”
Rain Man seemed prepared for the comment. “That’s what they told me you would say.”
To calm down, Quinton turned his mind to the seventh favorite. The one who’d rejected him seven years ago this very month. She had come in looking like a wounded dove and he’d fallen madly in love with her during those first few months. He’d treated her like a queen, keeping his loving eyes ever on her, as if he were God himself and she the broken angel.
And when he had finally decided that consummation was in order, he went to her room and dropped his gown to show her his entire magnificent body. But instead of recognizing how precious their union would be, she’d scratched him and hit him, screaming. He’d tied a rag around her mouth as he tried to explain. But the more persuasive he became, the more she resisted until finally he’d lost his senses and hit her hard enough to knock her unconscious.
It was only then that he realized the truth. She was reserved for God, not for him. She was the most beautiful woman alive, created only for God himself. And now he would deliver her to him.
Rain Man had concluded that she was Angel. But he was wrong. If he was one of the good guys, he would know her true identity, wouldn’t he?
“You’re full of yourself, Rain Man.”
“Yes, I know that’s what you think. And you should. But I’ve found you now, and I can say what I was sent to say.”
The audacity of the man. “If you knew who I was, you would know who she is. I’m finished with this ploy.”
But he was now sweating profusely, and his skin was starting to itch.
“You have everything right,” Rain Man said, “except one thing. You’re not delivering the brides to God. You’re killing them.”
“There’s a difference?”
“I’m here to tell you that there is. That you’ve made a mistake.” Now Rain Man’s voice was trembling. “That you are killing God’s favorites, like Hitler killed them, like Nero killed them. Like Lucifer is trying to kill them. That’s the alternative conclusion to your logic, and it’s the truth. You’ve made one mistake, and it’s the deepest offense possible.”
An electric current spread through Quinton’s body. What if what the man said was true?
The buzzards are dive-bombing. The ice cream is melting. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
The buzzing in Quinton’s mind grew and he began to shake. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
But what if he did?
“I’m here to tell you that you’re serving the wrong master, Quinton.”
Quinton was on his feet before he could process the
statement. He bounded across the blankets and slammed his fist into the man’s head.
“I told you not to call me that!”
Rain Man sagged, lips bleeding. He looked back up, eyes pleading. “That’s what God calls you, and he’s begging you not to kill her.” Tears flooded the man’s eyes. “Please… Don’t kill Paradise.”
And with that one word, seven years of Quinton’s life collapsed in on itself. He knew? Rain Man knew that Paradise was the seventh?
He staggered back, stunned. Was it then possible that he was right about the rest?
You’re a buzzard, boy. You’re a buzzard and you’ve been flying with the demons all along.
“What are you saying?” he stammered.
“I’m saying that you’re right, she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. I see what God has always seen. And you… You’re on a mission from hell.”
Quinton’s mind was snapping. The barn was spinning. The buzzards were screaming, What does that make you, what does that make you, you pathetic, mindless boy?
He said it aloud. “I’m a demon?”
“No, you’re…”
But he didn’t hear the rest. His ears were filled with rushing blood and screaming buzzards. This is the way it had been all along! Paradise was the most beautiful, he’d seen that when she’d first walked into the Center for Wellness and Intelligence. A precious, innocent lamb who walked around the grounds like an angel from heaven. The world saw a wasted life, abused, discarded, but he’d seen her true beauty and he’d tried to make her his own.
She rejected him, not because he was an angel of mercy, but because she’d seen him for what he was, a demon out to kill the most beautiful. And he was back to make things right.
But he was wrong.
He was back to kill her because she’d rejected him.
What Quinton found most confusing in that moment was how this truth had remained hidden from him so long. And yet, he knew why. He’d embraced his delusion. Like a deluded politician, or a tyrant who’d convinced himself that rape was justifiable.