by Hazel Parker
When I finally did pull back, I tossed my hair back with a gentle flick of my head. I looked up at Dom. He looked back at me. Neither of us could make a move.
Then, suddenly, he started to lean forward.
I found myself leaning forward.
And then I heard the door to the lobby open. Someone could see us. What is public remains public. But what is private has to be so private that no one even thinks about it being a possibility.
“Have a good night, err, morning, Dom,” I said as I leaned beneath his chin into one last quick hug before I moved off his body and into my car.
I just prayed that what was supposed to be hidden remained that way. Because if I got in trouble for just a hug, I might as well have stayed behind and done everything that would have followed that hug.
Chapter 11: Dom
As stupid as it might have sounded, the first thing I honestly noticed when Jenna hugged me was how good she smelled.
I felt like I’d ducked into a rain forest, with the gentle mist and fauna scents filling my nostrils. I wanted to hug her just so I could keep that scent around as much as anything else.
The second thing I noticed, though, was how nice her body felt.
That might have sounded shallow, but that was only because I hadn’t felt it as much as I was right now. The deeper things—her kindness, her willingness to help me, her empathy—were things I had already experienced. Maybe it still marked me as the player to have noticed some of these other things, but damnit, I couldn’t help but get wrapped up in those physical sensations.
But then, just as quickly as I felt it—and as much as I lingered in it, relishing the sensations and the excitement in my body—she pulled back, abruptly getting in her car as if someone had held her at gunpoint. It had happened so quickly, I hardly had time to understand if it was something I’d done or something she’d remembered. I didn’t get the chance to ask her, either.
Watching her drive off and dwelling on the way I felt about her sudden departure made me realize just how much I liked her. It was crazy to think that it was only a week or so ago that I’d told Mama and Pork that I could never be changed, that I would never be the club member who fell in love. They didn’t know why I’d said that, but they had no reason to doubt the validity of what I had said.
And now…
Well, Jenna Saunders had gone from the person I most despised to someone I couldn’t stop thinking about.
* * *
The rest of the week went as if there was nothing hanging over our heads. Richard came to our shows and observed as he normally did, interacting with a few of the guests. He didn’t make any mention to anyone about the California Saints and their demands.
I didn’t hear back from Jenna, which was driving me mad. Childish as it sounded, I didn’t want to be the one to text her after she’d left so abruptly. Dom as a player might have been a mask, but that didn’t mean that removing the mask removed all the effects of wearing it.
That didn’t necessarily stop me from pulling out my phone multiple times, looking at it, thinking about sending a message asking how she was. But what would we do then, anyway? The case was done. I didn’t yet want to give up the ability to sleep with anyone else—even though I had done no such thing since the previous Thursday.
It seemed like one of those things that was an interesting debate in the moment, something worth considering, but now that time had passed and the emotions had subsided, it was just a flash in the pan. I could lay the memory of Danica to rest, I could start to date seriously again, and I would find someone else.
And then Tuesday night came.
As usual, it being party night at the club, I made sure I put on cologne. I had the apartment to myself, with Pork spending the night with Mama—in fact, neither of them were even going to be at the party—and intended to turn it into a giant play place for my night. Five days without sex was like five years without sex for most people; it was high time to change this.
I had on my cut, my jeans, and no shirt. I didn’t usually walk in without a shirt on, but I was feeling like I needed to turn up the aggression meter some tonight. I needed to make it clear Dom Browning had come to get laid and get laid with as many girls as possible. Worst case, all I had to do was say, “I live twenty-one stories up in Panorama. Do you want to check out the view?”
I put on some sunglasses for the drive over, smirked, and walked down to the bike. A girl walked out of her apartment—her name eluded me—and smiled at what she saw. There was some pretty strong temptation to make a move right there, but I’d already nailed her.
Yep, full Dom was back.
Shame Jenna ain’t around tonight. The things I’d do to her, the way I’d make her feel…
I shook my head of that thought. Jenna was cute and nice. But she was not someone I was going to pursue—it would get too complicated.
I got on my bike, practically strutting, and sped straight over to The Red Door. I tried to swerve into a parking spot and nearly skidded out, but some quick reflexes prevented this from turning into the most embarrassing hospital visit ever. It’s cool; you just got a little too aggressive. Stay in control; you’ll be good.
I walked into the club, put my hands up as I entered as if in a shrugging pose, and smiled.
In the room, with Pork gone, were about nine of my brethren, including Richard.
And, oh, no big deal, about thirty girls walking around. Most of them had come through invitations from me, which meant many of them would have to walk up and thank me at some point.
And I knew just how to thank them.
Like most nights, I had to start with a drink. I saddled up at the stool and waved to Katerina as she approached.
“Is it Guido night, handsome?” she said with a laugh.
“Nah, it’s a celebration of me being back in full force.”
Back in full force? Or just back in craziness?
“Let me get a Long Island Iced Tea, if you could, please.”
“Of course, dear.”
She went to the other end of the bar and started preparing my drink. I looked to the gal to my right, a tanned, blonde bimbo who I believe stripped at the Spearmint Rhino. She looked me over from head to toe and back, and I smiled.
“Like what you see?” I said.
“A little,” she said.
“Well, this is just the trailer; wait till you see the feature presentation. Candy, right?”
And then she groaned and walked away.
“OK, it’s not Candy.”
Rule number one, don’t say their name unless you one hundred percent know it. Come on, Dom. You’re better than that.
“Why are you scaring off the ladies?” Katerina joked as she came back with my drink.
“Rookie mistake, shaking off the rust, no big deal,” I said. “I just called her by the wrong name.”
“Rookie mistake?” Katerina said as if taken aback that I could say such a thing. “That’s more of an incredibly stupid mistake.”
“Right, that’s what the phrase—never mind, don’t worry about that.”
I sat down and sipped on my drink. Suddenly, I felt a firm hand clasp my shoulder. I looked up to see Walker smiling at me.
“What’s good, player,” he said as we embraced. “By the way, I’d love for you to meet my lady here, Rachel.”
I looked at Rachel, tried my best to genuinely smile, and shook her hand. She was a gorgeous blonde girl, the kind that could have passed for a Southern belle in other parts.
But that wasn’t what I was thinking about. Instead, I just couldn’t help but wonder if I was literally going to be the only club member remaining who was single. OK, if all the officers got hitched, that was one thing. But if all the club members got hitched? Shit, if we made it a requirement for members to be in relationships?
And if I wanted to be one of those guys who had someone like Rachel or Mama or Natasha or Cassie?
I made some small conversation with the two of them, but frank
ly, I was mostly in my head. I didn’t want to be, but that was the thing about being in your head; the harder you fought not to be, the more easily you got wrapped up in it.
I finished the rest of my Long Island, scanned the room, and found an old target of mine.
Cindy.
Yeah, she was the one whose face had turned into Danica’s. Yeah, she was the one who wasn’t very impressed with my sexual skills. But that was over with! I could go and give her a real authentic Dom experience, and then she’d never want to leave my side.
And is that what you really want? You sure you wouldn’t rather be with someone like Jenna right now?
Fuck, man, she keeps popping up in my head. She left you cold. You really want to bring her back into the fold? Move on to something better.
I ignored my thoughts, even as they refused to leave me alone, and smiled as I approached Cindy with a head nod. She didn’t bother to hide her exasperation.
“You look so disappointed to see me,” I said with a chuckle.
“If I put my mouth on your cock and didn’t move, and then came myself, and I said it was great, wouldn’t you be disappointed too?”
I did not expect her to be so blunt and to the point. I literally staggered back a bit.
“First impressions could have had some work, sure,” I said. “But what you don’t realize was how I was setting you up for a surprise second round! But you chose to leave early, so—”
“So you were going to disappoint me even more the second round?”
I got the hint. I rolled my eyes as I walked back to the bar. Zero for two so far. What happened?
You wouldn’t be striking out with Jenna.
She’s not going to show up! She’s not someone you need to reach out to. Just let it go. Leave her in the past where she belongs and just move forward.
But she’s not Danica. She’s alive. She likes you.
And clearly, I like her.
“Maybe you should have worn a shirt.”
I turned suddenly to the left, seeing Mama and Pork walk in. Wide-eyed and happy to finally see someone actually glad to see me, I rose from my chair and embraced them each.
“What the hell brought you guys here?”
“Well, I didn’t know it was the ‘Dom goes Down’ show, but I’m enjoying it so far. Five stars, would recommend.”
I playfully shoved Pork.
“Like you ever cleaned up here,” I said.
“Sure, if I had that attitude, I wouldn’t. But I did! I got Tanya!”
“That’s not what I meant,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“It’s what you wish you meant!”
He meant it as a joke, and given the fact that he punctuated it with a laugh, I knew it was a joke. But if he had any idea how close to right he was, he probably wouldn’t have been laughing.
“Hey, it’s all good though. No Dom is a dom forever.”
“What… what does that even mean?” I said, even as I knew what it meant.
“He means you need to stop chasing so much ass and just find one ass, hun,” Mama said. “Think of it like this. You put in all this work to get laid every Tuesday and Wednesday. But what if, instead of trying so hard to get some, you just found one girl who would fuck you anytime? And in return, you treated her well and with respect? Could you do that then?”
I laughed.
“Please,” I said, though I noticed Pork’s face changing to disappointed. “Maybe when I’m in my forties and I grow up, I’ll want to get married. But right now…”
I want Jenna.
Fuck, I didn’t even mean to think that.
Outwardly, I just shrugged. Mama, who didn’t yet know about anything to do with Danica—provided Pork hadn’t blurted it all out to her—just shook her head with her crossed arms resting on her belly.
But inwardly? Oh, you want to talk about battles of the mind.
“Pork,” I said, changing the subject. “Won’t you get another drink with me? Have two, maybe, since Mama cannot drink?”
“No, don’t do that,” Mama said. “Keep a tally of all the drinks you want me to have. As soon as this little one is born, I’m going to slam you under the table.”
“That’s ridiculous. You’ll be so sleep deprived you won’t make it to two rounds, let alone the two hundred you’re probably at so far.”
Mama and I continued to trade barbs. Why was it so easy for me to talk to her but not to any of the literally three dozen single girls parading around here? Why was I even asking that question like a stupid eighth-grader who could easily talk to his grandmother but not the girl next to him in class?
You know why. Your heart isn’t set on any of these.
Oh, that’s ridiculous.
Is it? You don’t make these mistakes. You’re sabotaging yourself so you have a clean sheet for her.
My rap sheet stopped being clean about six months after Danica.
But it is since you started hanging out with Jenna.
“Fucking hell.”
“What?” Mama said. “Are you hungover already?”
Thank God Mama assumed I was just playing a joke. I found a way to excuse myself to get to the bathroom, and as soon as I had the door shut, I just locked it and leaned against it.
This was wrong. Jenna was a friend of a friend of Danica’s. Granted, it could have been much worse, but this… I wanted to believe that doing this was like spitting on her grave. It was like I’d thanked her for all the memories, and now I was running behind her back to score some ass with someone else.
But that wasn’t the case at all.
Danica and I had never talked about what would happen if one of us died because we were too young to even think about it. Neither of us believed we’d live forever, but we both believed that it was so far away that we didn’t have to think about it. She wasn’t the jealous kind, though. I’d talked to her for a long time about joining the Savage Saints, and she had supported it, even knowing the number of surgically-enhanced women that would surround me there.
Besides, let’s be honest, Jenna was hot. She was…
You don’t need to justify it. Just text her. It’s what you want, right?
And most importantly, it was what I was ready for. I wasn’t ready for something potentially serious before. Now? I might not have been ready, but at least it was an open question.
I typed out the message, “What are you doing right now?” I wondered if there was a better way to say it. When I could find none, I sent it, feeling my heart skip a beat. It’s out there now. Nothing more you can say or do.
I went back out to the party, but unlike when I’d entered, I felt so much more at ease. I didn’t need to impress any of these gals. I didn’t need to turn on the charming Dom. I just had to wait until Jenna replied, and if she said no, then I could move on. If she said yes, then I could move out.
“Jesus, did you destroy the toilet in there?” Pork said. “Just going to be clear, I am not going into that shitty situation if—”
“Really, Pork, come on, you can do better than that.”
“Are you dumping on my joke?”
OK, that was a little bit better.
“I just had to take care of a few things,” I said. “In any case…”
My phone buzzed. At least I’d be getting an answer quickly.
“Nothing. You?”
Well, it wasn’t exactly the most exciting message I’d ever sent. But then again, maybe she was playing deliberately coy. Maybe her phone was being watched by state and local officials.
If that was the case…
“I had some questions about the case,” I wrote. I meant to highlight over the word, but I accidentally hit send. I quickly typed out the rest of the message and sent it.
“Can we discuss? Same place as before?”
I had written “my place” before realizing that that was a sure-fire way to ensure that anyone reading those texts would pick up on what was happening.
“Hey, Earth to Dom!” Pork yelled. �
��What’s going on?”
I bit my lip.
“I’m just texting for something later,” I said. “Might have some potential.”
“Wait, hun, are you sick?” Mama said, putting her hand on my forehead. “You, Dom, going to girls outside of the party here? Did you fuck one of these girls and give them herpes or something?”
“Wow, so glad you have such faith in my staying clean. No, I just… hey, I don’t have to explain myself!”
“You do when you’re less Dom and more Dan.”
“Pork, what the hell—”
My phone buzzed. I looked down nervously.
“Sure.”
It was one word. It had no emojis. It had no exclamation marks. It was a far cry from what I was used to with text flirting.
But it was all I needed.
“You know what,” I said. “Pork, make sure that the new members get some nice ass. I’ve gotta roll out.”
“What?” both he and Mama said simultaneously.
“I know, it’s a new era,” I said.
Mama leaned into Pork’s ear but then very loudly, making sure I could hear it, said, “I think someone kidnapped Dom and replaced him with a soft decoy.”
I just laughed. I threw my smirk at them, but it obviously had very little to do with flirting with them. It was the equivalent of a nice, playful middle finger thrown in their general direction.
“Go do whatever you’re gonna do, boss man,” Pork said. “You have the apartment all to yourself. So things won’t get weird.”
“They better not!” I shouted. “I really like this one. I don’t need you stumbling in and making it fucked up.”
“He really likes this one,” Mama said in surprise. “Heavens, what has happened to this club?”
“I’m asking myself the same thing.”
I ignored Pork’s last words, nodded to them, and then ducked out of the party. It was probably the shortest amount of time that I had ever spent at a Savage Saints party. It was definitely the soberest I’d ever been, and definitely the quickest I had left without actually coming close to getting laid.