by Zara Rivas
I cleared my throat, looking away from Charlotte's accusing gaze. "Yes."
She glared harder at me. "So you thought you could use my sister? I don't care how many girls you are hooking up with at the same time, but Carter? You don't hook up with other girls while you are with Harper."
"I- what?" I looked over Charlotte's shoulder, trying to meet Harper's eyes. She wouldn't look at me. "I don't know what you are talking about."
"So you don't remember when we ran into each other in the hall, and you told me you were meeting up with some girl you met?"
Immediately I knew what she was talking about, and I found myself suddenly stuck between a rock and a hard spot. That was the excuse I had told Char when she found me in Harper's hall. There was no other girl, but that was when Harper wasn't ready to confess what we are doing, so I had lied to Charlotte.
"There was no other girl. I, uh, had been hanging out with Harper and told you something that wasn't true."
Charlotte's angry look melted away into a hurtful one. "So, you both have been lying to me."
"I…" I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to, but I had wanted to make Harper happy, and she had needed time. But I couldn't say that without making it seem like it was all on Harper. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings; we were trying to figure things out. I'm so sorry, Char."
She nodded, but I knew she wasn't convinced. "Well, now that we have that settled… I'm going to go. I have some things to think about."
"Can I come over later so we can talk?"
She shrugged as if she didn't care, but I knew that was just a thing that girls did. "Whatever you want."
She walked out the door, and my eyes landed back on Harper. Her facial expression had changed as well, and now she looked guilty and relieved.
Wait, relieved?
"You believe that I got with some girl?"
I was hoping she would deny it, but instead, she nodded.
"After everything we have been through and everything I have done for you, you honestly think I would have been looking at other girls?"
"I know it's stupid, but when Charlotte was telling me what you said… I just… thought maybe it was the truth," she said, speaking softly.
"Well, it was a lie," I said coldly. "I was lying for you. I've been lying for you since our first kiss."
"I shouldn't have asked you to lie about us, that was wrong, but you didn't protest the idea."
I let out a deep breath. "You're right. I… hate seeing her so upset. But she knows now, so we can all move past this."
Harper's eyes darkened for a moment. "Move past this, how?"
I chuckled as I took a step closer to her. "Well, besides trying to get her to forgive us, now I can kiss you whenever I want."
Her lips spread into a smile. A smile that seemed too long since I saw it last. "Is that so?"
"It is," I told her, wrapping my arms around her small waist, pulling her to me. "And I plan on doing it in about one minute, but there is something I have to say first."
Her eyes fluttered slightly, and I knew I was making her melt, which I loved more than anything. "What is it?"
"I know I have been with a lot of girls, and I had no problem dropping one of them for another, or even seeing more than one at a time. But I never cared about any of them as I care about you. Not even close. You are the only girl I want. You have always been the only girl I have wanted. Okay?"
Her eyes were large, and she looked a little shocked at how I had just spilled my heart to her. Hell, I was surprised too. I hated talking about my feelings, but she needed to know how I felt.
"Okay," she agreed, beaming up at me. It was a look that made my knees feel kind of weak. "Hey, Carter?"
"Yeah?" I asked, smoothing her hair down.
"Has it been a minute yet?"
I laughed for a second, before pulling her to me, kissing her lips gently before I started kissing her more passionately.
Now that Harper and I could officially be together, there was just one thing I had to do before I could be completely happy and content.
Make Charlotte forgive me.
I held my breath as the secretary lead me down the long hallway. With white floors, white walls, and ultra-bright lights above, I felt like every single piece of lint of my navy blue dress was as apparent as it would be if I were standing under a black light. I didn't know how people could work here without wearing sunglasses.
She paused in front of a door, looking back at me with a sympathetic look in her light brown eyes. Seeing an academic counselor while you are scheduling classes is no big deal, but seeing one after the deadline has passed, well, that only left so many options while you were there. Most of which weren't good ones.
I let out the breath, then slowly pushed opened her thick door, walking inside. There were bells attached to it, which jingled loudly as I swung the door shut.
So annoying.
Mrs. Phillis looked up at me, pushing her unruly red hair out of her face, and offered me a smile.
"Hi Harper, it's nice to meet you," Her voice was sugary sweet.
"Nice to meet you too," I told her because it was the polite thing to say. I reached across her desk and shook her hand that she had extended.
She nodded towards the two chairs in front of her desk. "Have a seat. I'm so glad you came in," she said as if I had a real choice in the matter.
From the outside, it might seem like I did, but that wasn't true. My mom was the one that initiated this meeting, and since I knew that she knew that, it was pretty embarrassing. Okay, so maybe I wouldn't have done it without the extra shove, but I also didn't think it was panic mode during my first semester.
I had much more important things to worry about right now. Like the fact that my sister had not only barely talked to me all weekend, she kind of avoided me. Charlotte had never avoided me in her life.
"So," Mrs. Phillis said when she realized I wasn't going to say anything. "I hear you need some help pinpointing what you might like to major in?"
I nodded, picking at my nail polish. "I also think I have some time to think about it."
Her smile grew. "Of course you do! It's just that the sooner you are on track, the faster you can complete the mandatory courses. Some courses have a waiting list, and it can prolong your graduation date."
"I guess that makes sense."
"So, tell me what you are interested in," she said, pulling out a larger black binder from inside a drawer.
I cleared my throat. Isn't that part of the reason I was here was that I wasn't sure? "I, um, don't know exactly. But that's normal for freshmen, isn't it?"
She tapped her deep red nails against the binder for a second, the smile never changing on her face. "Well, hopefully, I can help with that!"
I didn't fail to notice she didn't answer my question.
She turned to her side slightly, typing away on her computer. "The feedback I received from your professors on your grades so far were positive, so that is a great foundation."
I felt my face flush. "You talked to my professors?"
She held up her hands as if a sign for peace. "Do not worry; I was discrete."
I wasn't sure how you could be discrete when you are an academic counselor requesting information after only a few weeks, but I didn't push that.
"Your sister is registered as pre-law, was that a path you were also interested in?" She sounded hopeful.
"No, I'm not."
She nodded, pushing her hair out of her face again. "That's okay," she said in the same tone my parents use.
A tone that says it would be so much easier if I were.
"You know," she continued, holding her fingers over the keys. "It might be easier if you tell me something's that you enjoy doing and interest you, and we can go from there."
I immediately thought of making out with Carter and felt my lips spread into a grin. I was half tempted to give her that answer, though I didn't think she would appreciate it.
She stared at me
anxiously, as if she was expecting the smile was about the things that interested me.
"Well…" I said finally, averting my gaze.
"Like hobbies," she encouraged.
As I sat there, racking my brain for an answer, I was sure I never felt so pathetic in my life than I did at this moment. What were my hobbies?
"I like to run," I muttered.
Her facial expression soften. "This is a lot to think about. I'm going to print out some pages of courses, and you go through these and circle ones you might be interested in. We can go over it during the next meeting."
The next meeting? I had to come back?!
"Uh, sure, that would be great."
She gave me a large smile as she handed me a stack of papers. "I'll see you soon, Harper!"
As I unlocked the door to my room, I was suddenly thankful that Ashley was in class. I was in a bad mood, and the only thing I felt like doing was plopping down on my bed and throwing myself a pity party.
I pushed the door opened and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Charlotte sitting on my bed. She looked at me, her grey eyes slightly guarded, and it made my heart break a little bit. She tucked a strand of short blond hair behind her ear but didn't say anything.
"How did you get in here?"
"Ashley was leaving when I showed up; she said it would be okay for me to wait inside."
I nodded, setting my papers down on my desk. "Have you been waiting long?"
"No, not really."
I tried to analyze her tone; it was colder than normal, yet it wasn't in complete hate mode. It wasn't warm by any means, but the fact that she was here, waiting for me to get back was a good sign that she wouldn't talk. However, I could tell by her eyes that I was on probation.
For the first time that I could remember, there was an awkward tension between us. Not to mention a giant elephant in the room with us.
Growing up, I honestly believed I was blessed with the best older sister ever, even if she was only just a year older. She always shared her toys without a second thought, never laughed when I fell off my bike, and would help take the blame when half of mom's chocolate cake disappeared while she was bathing Emily.
Yes, even as a kid, she was so thoughtful and put together.
She looked down at her lavender long sleeve shirt, picking at it. I wasn't sure if she wasn't ready to talk or was waiting for me to say something, so to stall time, I walked slowly across the room and sat down in my desk chair.
I took a deep breath, then opened my mouth to speak.
"So," we said in unison, then both smiled. Of course, mine was a bit larger and friendlier than hers, but hey, it was a start.
"Go ahead," I said quickly to her.
"You and Carter, huh? How did that happen?"
I looked at her in surprise, since that wasn't what I was expecting at all. I also wasn't expecting a slightly warm tone to her voice.
"I don't know," I answered honestly, laughing softly.
She raised an eyebrow at me, clearly seeming just as surprised by what I said. "You don't know?"
"It's hard to explain. One day he went from the annoying guy that was a part of my family, wither I liked it or not, to someone that I…" I let my thought trail off as a blush crept over my face.
"That you what?"
"That I kind of loved to kiss," I finished, staring down at my lap as the flushed ever more so.
She laughed lightly. "Whoa, I wasn't expecting you to say that. That is the one-sentence I never thought would come out of your mouth."
I looked at her, missing her so much suddenly, even though she was in the same room as me. The truth was, I had been keeping her at a distance ever since Carter, and I first kissed.
I stood up off the chair and walked over to my bed, sitting down next to her.
"Trust me; I never thought I'd be thinking that."
"But?" She prompted me.
"But it's amazing," I admitted.
She gave me a slightly smug smile. "So wait for a second, are you saying he isn't exactly the jerk you have been claiming for years he was?"
I laughed. "That is possible."
"Did he kiss you first? Or-"
"He defiantly kissed me first," I cut her off, laughing again. "Trust me; I wasn't even thinking about kissing him when it happened."
The smile, friendly smile on her face gave me more confidence. "It happened that day we were studying at the library together. After you left, we ended up kissing against the book stacks. It was so out of the blue and unexpected and…"
"And?" She asked.
"It was really hot."
Her face grew more serious, and I was scared for a moment that I overstepped things. Maybe she wasn't ready to hear things like that.
"And you've slept with him? So you must like him?"
I nodded slowly, trying to read her expression. "Yes. I think he feels the same way."
"No," she said.
"What?"
"I mean, no, I don't think he feels the same way. I'm pretty sure of it. He hasn't said anything, well I haven't given him a chance to, but knowing Carter, I know he does. I've been thinking about it since I found out, and I'm pretty sure he always has." She spoke slowly, smoothing out imagery wrinkles in her jeans.
"Thank you," I told her, reaching out to grab her hand. She squeezed it, and for the first time since Saturday, I started to relax a little bit. "And I'm sorry about the whole thing."
"I'm still pissed about it, at both of you, but I'm trying to let it go. Cause even when I want to hate you, you're my sister, and I love you."
"I love you too."
A weight seemed to be lifted off her shoulders as well. "I was thinking, maybe you and Carter want to go out with Noah and me this weekend?"
"I'd like that, but would it be too strange for you?" I asked.
She let out a laugh. "Yeah, it might be, but I have to get used to it."
"I'll text Carter about it," we said together.
Unlike the last time we spoke the same thing, at the same time, there were no smiles this time. Instead, we both seemed to hesitate in this new situation. In a way, Carter has always been her territory, and now I was stepping in those boundaries.
"You go ahead," she said.
"Okay, I will." I grabbed my phone, sending him a text. "I'm sure he will be happy to hear you want to hang out."
She smiled at that. "You know that even though he is my best, I will kill him if he hurts you."
"You mean like you almost did in his room?"
She laughed. "Yes, like that."
She glanced at the clock, then stood up off the bed. "I have a study group I have to get to."
I stood up as well, wrapping my arms around her. The fact that I towered over her would always amuse me. "I'm glad you came by."
"Me too."
She walked over to the door, pausing for a moment before she turned back around to face me.
"And Harper? Even though you are my sister, I will hurt you if you hurt him."
I smiled. That is the Charlotte I knew, sticking up for both of us. "Good thing I don't plan on it."
I pulled my hand free from Carter's, wiping my sweaty palm against my jeans before I grabbed his hand again, intertwining my fingers with his.
I knew he was probably wondering what I was doing since it was the sixth time I've done that since we arrived at the restaurant ten minutes ago. I avoided his gaze. Instead, I studied the colorful murals that were painted on the walls. I knew there was a question behind his eyes, and I also knew it was likely he would ask it.
"Are you nervous?"
Sure enough, there it was.
"Well, yeah," I told him as if it were obvious because it was. "Aren't you?"
He shook his head, a playful smile spreading across his lips. "It's going to be okay. It's just dinner, Charlotte and Noah. We've had dinner with them plenty of times."
"Exactly! We've had dinner with them before, but never like this," I explained, holding up our ha
nds, which were still locked together.
He took a step closer to me, and I automatically inhaled the familiar scent of his cologne. Immediately, my heart started to race, and it made my knees a little weak. Being this close to him always put my head in a fog, and all I could think about was kissing those lips.