Evan would be at the dinner and at the wedding, filling the spot of best man. How could she manage her conflicting emotions about him when they had to walk down an aisle together? Under normal circumstances the situation would have been difficult for her, but this weekend marked what would have been the one-year anniversary of her and Auden’s wedding.
Most of the time she was confident that breaking off her engagement had been the right decision, but sometimes...sometimes she wondered if she had blown her last shot at a future. Being so close to Evan—to the love she’d felt in the past, the one that had made her realize she wouldn’t ever feel that way about Auden—hurt. It made the failure that marked her life fresh, tossing it in her face again and again. This would have been your life. Except you weren’t enough for him. In the end, Evan didn’t want you.
She would smile and laugh and pretend that proximity to him had no effect on her whatsoever. A total lie. Between Evan pulling her into his arms last weekend, his encouragement at the snow festival, the dependability he’d displayed while planning the Valentine’s Day Shuffle and the way she kept catching him staring at her with his full-on intensity, her heart was in trouble. Despite knowing better—despite knowing that he was someone who had used her and abandoned her—she had instantly reacted to the shelter of his embrace. She’d have to work double time on almost depleted emotional reserves in order to protect her heart.
Evan Daniels was just as dangerous as ever.
* * *
Claire was running late.
The rest of the wedding party, along with Laura, Kendall’s father, stepmother and half siblings, was gathered around a table at Agostini’s Italian Restaurant. Kendall’s siblings were as loud and outgoing as she was, and their conversation filled the private room to bursting. While everyone else wolfed down chicken Alfredo and made jokes about the amount of garlic Brice and Kendall were consuming, Evan kept his arm slung over the empty chair beside him, saving it for Claire.
Worry etched a deeper mark into Evan’s usual calm each time Kendall tried to call her maid of honor and got only voice mail. Where could she be? What was the holdup?
She’d mentioned the rehearsal yesterday after her landslide win at the math contest. So it wasn’t as if she’d forgotten. Something was keeping her away.
Evan pushed back from the table. “I’ll run to her house. See if something’s wrong.”
Brice caught his eye. “You think that’s a good idea?” He knew that Sesser had warned Evan to keep his distance from his property years ago.
“She’s not answering my texts.” Evan stood, slipping his phone into his back pocket.
Beside him, Laura gripped his wrist. “If something was wrong, she would have told you.” She tugged, trying to get him to sit. “You’re the first person she would have sent a message to.”
“The roads are covered in black ice. Her car could be in a ditch. Who knows—”
Kendall untangled herself from Brice’s side. “She’s here!” The bride-to-be launched herself at Claire, pulling the slender woman into a bear hug.
Palpable relief seeped through Evan’s shoulders and the muscles that crisscrossed his rib cage. A breath shuddered out. How was it that he’d gone years without worrying about her, but after a few weeks of contact he was a wreck over her well-being? Claire had mastered life in New York just fine. She was no longer the high school girl who’d asked him to put his hand at the small of her back when they entered a room. She was strong and capable and didn’t need him anymore.
In truth, she never had.
Claire offered an apology to the group and flashed a smile to the room. Her gaze skirted over Evan before he could meet it. In the glow of the flickering candles that lined the tables, Claire looked flawless in a fitted, blue knee-length dress and heels. She and he were usually the same height, but whenever she put on heels she won by a couple inches. Stuff like that bothered some men, but it had never been an issue for Evan. She had a coat draped over her arm and a sparkling clip arranged in her hair. More important than all that, though, was the fact that her eyes were red and puffy.
Back when they were dating she’d had trouble making friends. Evan was glad that she and Kendall had bonded so quickly, but did Claire have anyone else to talk to? Despite all the years and tarnished memories between them, his heart went out to her. Besides, they’d come to a peaceful truce for the mayoral race.
It was okay to be concerned about a friend.
Especially one he was in love with.
As the rest of the group reclaimed their seats and dived into eating again, Evan pulled out the chair next to him and offered it to Claire. “Looks like you’re stuck by me.”
She laid her coat over the back of the chair and claimed her seat. A waiter rushed in with a hot plate and set it in front of her. Steam wafted over her. She picked up a fork, poked at the linguini and sighed.
Evan bumped his knee into hers and found her hand under the table, capturing it in his. “Why were you crying?”
Her eyes went wide. “How do you know—”
“I can tell.” He kept his voice low and bent close so no one could overhear them.
She shook her head and a small, sad smile came onto her face. “You always could.”
“You okay?” He pressed his knee into hers again; she pressed back.
“It’s Alex. He had another outburst.”
Evan’s thumb traced a lazy circle over her palm. “Everyone okay?”
“Physically? Yes.”
“I’m sorry it’s difficult. He’s worth it, though.”
“Oh, I know. I love him.” She closed her fingers around Evan’s, her grip firm and determined. “He’s my son, Ev. I just... I wish I could get through to him. I wish he understood that I will love him no matter what—that he doesn’t have to do or be or become anything to keep my love. He doesn’t comprehend that.”
He doesn’t have to do or be or become anything to keep my love.
The words were meant for Alex, but they pierced Evan’s heart. How long had he striven to become someone worthy of the sacrifices Brice had made in order to protect him? He tried to make Brice happy—to do whatever he could so his brother would be proud. God, too, if Evan was being honest. He was involved in three different ministries in church and still felt as if he wasn’t doing enough. There was a story in the Bible about someone dying and Jesus saying, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” It troubled Evan. He often thought that if he was standing in front of God he would be told, “You could have been so much more.”
Evan cleared his throat. They were talking about Alex, not him. The focus should be on Claire’s son and what could be done to help him. Evan was a grown man. If he couldn’t figure out his life and if he still struggled to accept God’s love, that was no one’s problem but his.
“Give him time.” He patted Claire’s hand and finally released it. “I think there’s a lot of adults who don’t grasp that concept, either.”
Chapter Ten
The wedding ceremony had been simple but beautiful, a perfect mixture of Brice’s rugged side and Kendall’s light and positive presence, and the reception proved to follow that theme. When Kendall first told Claire that she was going to hold her reception inside the barn at Crest Orchards, Claire had quickly advised her against it.
But she had been wrong.
She’d peeked into the reception venue from the small waiting area where the bridal party was holed up until they were announced. Ten circular tables lined the walls of the barn. They were decorated tastefully with white tablecloths, but the centerpieces were the stars of the show. It looked like someone had sliced through a tree trunk to get perfect segments of wood showing all the rings of the tree’s life. On top of each sanded, polished slab was a pretty vase with artfully arranged flowers and a vintage picture frame with a table
number. The tree detail was Evan’s handiwork; Claire didn’t have to ask to know that much. He’d always been talented at woodworking and he’d honed his craft over the past decade, turning it into pure art.
Perhaps tourists flocked to his furniture store every summer for more than just an eyeful of attractive man.
White fabric hung in loose billows from the exposed barn beams and white twinkle lights were strung above the fabric, giving a soft glow. At three separate points giant chandeliers dangled through the fabric, and someone had taken the time to weave flowers through their wooden frames.
The entire room oozed an understated elegance that made Claire’s chest ache with longing for her own happy ending. But she had no hope of celebrating a day like this. Not after being abandoned at her first wedding and breaking off the engagement before reaching her second chance at being married. Kendall and Brice stood behind her in line as they waited to be announced by the deejay. Claire glanced back at the wrong moment.
Brice was nuzzling the side of Kendall’s face. “How’s your evening, Mrs. Daniels?”
Kendall turned toward her husband, trailed her fingertips along his jaw. “Best day of my life. Hands down.”
“My goal is to get that answer from you every single day, for the rest of our lives.” He laid a soft kiss on her cheek.
Kendall smiled and ran her hand down the front of his suit coat. “I’m up to the challenge if you are.”
“No challenge, my dear wife. It’ll be my pleasure.” He sealed the promise with a kiss.
Claire ducked and turned back around, ashamed to have listened in on the couple’s sweet moment for so long. Their exchange left her feeling hollow and raw.
She would never have what they did, would she?
A country song blasted through the speakers as Kendall’s dad and stepmother were announced to the crowd. Cheers went up as they walked into the room and took their places at the head table. Next Kendall’s adorable niece and nephew were announced as the ring bearer and flower girl. They rushed into the room together, leaving Claire next.
Where was Evan? She glanced around but didn’t spot him.
The deejay launched into details about how everyone should stand and toast the bride and groom when they were announced. He said a few words about the wonderful couple and how he knew them both from a Bible study they attended. The middle-aged man launched into a story about how Brice and Kendall had encouraged him to pursue his wife and save his marriage. The imagery he painted was touching and it also bought time.
Claire pressed her palm to her chest and rubbed against the burn she felt. She would never know love, not again. When Evan hadn’t shown at the courthouse he’d stolen every prospect of her ever experiencing her own happily-ever-after.
Because she had loved him. Completely. Entirely. She’d given him everything. More than she should have. But apparently, it hadn’t mattered.
She could never feel that way about a man again. That strongly. Her parents didn’t believe her, but she’d tried with Auden—really tried to fall for him. Auden Pierce had been perfect on paper. He was everything that made her parents proud, but she hadn’t loved him. In the end, she hadn’t felt for him close to a quarter of the affection she’d felt for Evan. That’s when she’d realized that it was no use dating anyone going forward.
If she could love a man who obviously didn’t care for her—love him so much it hurt—then she couldn’t trust herself. Not now, not ever. Her heart had proved to be just as much of a traitor as that man who had irrevocably wounded it.
Speaking of which... Evan was still nowhere to be seen.
The deejay’s overenthused voice crackled on the speakers. “Next, let me introduce the best man and the maid of honor.” Applause filtered through the thin wall between the large room in the barn where all the guests were seated and the alcove where Claire stood with Brice and Kendall. Evan, if you don’t show... He’d left her here to walk into the reception area alone, hadn’t he?
“Evan Daniels, dashing brother of the groom. And Claire Atwood, stunning best friend of the bride,” the deejay announced.
Panic flipped around like a beached fish inside her stomach.
“Where’s my brother?” Brice growled from behind her.
Claire lifted her chin and squared her shoulders. It wouldn’t be the first wedding she’d walked into without him.
“I’m here. I’m here.” Evan slipped between the bride and groom, a huge smile taking over his features. Why did he have to look so appealing? Like some hunky James Bond stand-in wearing a tux.
He swooped in, effortlessly wrapped his arm around Claire’s waist and steered her into the room as if nothing was wrong. People cheered and smiled at them. A little old lady in a pink confection of a dress at one of the front tables gave Claire a thumbs-up and made a kiss face. Others clicked cameras or held their cell phones out for video as the two made their way to the head table.
Evan rotated between pumping his fist and waving at the guests as if he and Claire were riding on a parade float. His other arm kept her snug to his side so their hip bones pressed together. And she didn’t mind the weight of his arm around her or the warmth of his hand at the small of her back. She should mind it.
She wanted to lash out at him for leaving her in the lurch until the last second, but at the same time, she didn’t want him to remove his hand from her waist before he had to. It was too comforting. Too familiar. And they could get away with it here and no one would think anything. It was a wedding; they were best man and maid of honor—physical contact came with the job. And while she knew she shouldn’t enjoy his attention...one night couldn’t hurt.
Besides, after a full week of feeling wrung out by issues with Alex, conversations with her dad and thoughts about the impending, far-reaching desert that was her love life, she wouldn’t turn down the confidence boost that accompanied Evan’s attention. Even if it set her up to crash and burn tomorrow.
What was wrong with her?
Claire dug her elbow into his side and leaned close enough to breathe in his tantalizing cologne. So not helpful. “Where were you?”
He inclined his head and smirked at her. The glow from the twinkle lights made his green eyes glisten. “What kind of best man would I be if I didn’t fancy up their getaway car a little?”
All the frustration she’d experienced a minute ago dissipated, like a balloon left untied. Decorating the car, not ditching anyone.
She allowed him to lead her around the back of the head table. He pulled out her chair.
“You’re the worst,” she muttered as she sat down.
“Aw, don’t be mean.” He helped her scoot her chair into place. With his hands still on the back of it he leaned so he could whisper in her ear, “You keep that up and I’ll make sure all eyes are on us during the dance.”
Her back went ramrod straight. “What dance?”
The deejay announced Brice and Kendall as Mr. and Mrs. Daniels, and the entire room went wild, cheering and clanking their cups as the couple entered.
No one watched Evan and Claire.
“That’s right.” He kept his head near hers, the roughness of his jaw catching strands of her hair. He wiped them away, dropped his hand to her shoulder and squatted beside her chair. “You were late to the rehearsal. After Brice and Kendall’s first dance, we’re supposed to join them on the floor.”
Claire swiveled in her chair and delighted in the fact that the motion tossed him off balance. He dropped his hand from her shoulder and used it to catch himself from falling.
She rammed her finger into his chest. “Evan. Alfred. Daniels.” She punctuated each of his names with another poke of her pointer finger. “You even think about embarrassing me out there and I’ll make certain that your toes are so sore you can’t walk tomorrow. And you have a 5k to run.”
A playful smile tugged on his lips and he cocked his head. “Is that...a threat?”
“It’s a promise.”
Evan rose to his feet and performed a quick bow. “Until later, Miss Atwood.”
“You’re such a nerd,” she called after him.
Kendall and Brice rounded the table to take their places between Evan’s and Claire’s seats. Claire’s friend caught her eye and raised her eyebrow in a silent question, then jerked her chin toward Evan. The bride had badgered Claire with questions about what had happened between her and Kendall’s now brother-in-law many times in the past nine months, but Claire had never budged beyond explaining that they had dated a long time ago.
What must she think after the last few weeks?
Claire offered a shrug, because what else could she do?
* * *
After the waiter collected their empty soup bowls Kendall leaned her elbow on the table and zeroed in on Evan. “So, wonderful new brother of mine, I have a question for you.”
Evan picked up his goblet of ice water and chugged some. Chewed a piece of ice. Another. Why did tradition dictate that the bride sat between the groom and the best man, anyway? He should have been seated beside his brother, not Kendall. He liked Kendall fine, but she could be one determined spitfire when she wanted to be. And at the moment her laser focus was aimed squarely at him.
Besides, he had something he needed to tell Brice. At one point during the wedding ceremony, Evan had thought he’d spotted their younger brother, Andrew, at the back of the church. Funny thing about that was no one had heard from or seen Andrew in years. Was it seven now? Evan had lost count. Maybe his mind had been playing tricks on him. Either way, he felt that Brice should know.
He swallowed the last of the ice shards, pushed the image of Andrew away and gave Kendall all his attention. “I don’t think I’m allowed to tell you no on your wedding day, so go ahead and ask.”
She yanked on the long skirt of her dress and kicked her shoes off under the table. “You and Claire.”
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