by Duarte, Judy
“He’s never been married,” Alex said.
“Well, that’s too bad. A good woman might have put a smile on his face.”
Alex laughed. “Maybe it’s not too late for that.”
Lydia studied her boss for a moment, their gazes speaking through the silence. Then she said, “I’m not so sure he’d be interested.”
“You never know unless you try.”
Lydia crossed her arms, and furrowed her brow, clearly pondering Alex’s suggestion. Moments later, she looked up and grinned. “Maybe you’re right. I think I’ll pack up some of those chocolate chip cookies I made yesterday and take them to him when I go back to the hospital this evening.”
As Lydia got to her feet and headed to the kitchen, Selena took the opportunity to escape the temptation to pursue what would only end up being a star-crossed relationship with Alex.
“I’m going to have to go,” she said, as she crossed the hardwood floor to where Alex stood.
* * *
Selena’s sudden announcement threw Alex for a moment, and he turned to her, stunned. “What about that lemonade?”
“I’m afraid I’ll have to take a rain check. I just remembered a meeting I’d scheduled with a colleague. If I leave now, I’ll make it just in time.”
As Selena started for the front door, Alex followed her. “I’ll walk you to the car.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “You don’t need to.”
“I know, but I want to.” And he did. He’d found himself increasingly drawn to the lovely obstetrician. She was bright and funny, compassionate and sweet.
And on top of that, the kisses they’d shared, especially the one up on Ol’ Piney, had nearly knocked him to his knees. Of course, it also had him running a bit scared because getting involved with Selena might complicate the future he’d planned.
Okay, so he and Selena really hadn’t gotten “involved” quite yet. But all afternoon he’d found himself comparing Selena to Mary, which wasn’t fair to either of them.
Now, as he followed Selena out the front door and onto the veranda, he watched her pat the small bulge in the front pocket of her jeans, assuming it had been made by her car keys since she didn’t have a purse with her.
“Thanks so much for inviting me out to the ranch today,” she said as she made her way toward the barn where she’d parked her Lexus. “I really enjoyed that ride. It was a real treat for a wannabe cowgirl.”
“I’m glad,” he said, walking along with her. “I enjoyed it, too. I’d forgotten how nice it is to go on a ride just for the fun of it. You’ll have to come out again—soon.”
“Thank you.” She smiled, yet her eyes had lost the spark they’d had earlier.
Had something happened between the time she’d agreed to have a glass of lemonade and Lydia’s arrival? It sure seemed that way.
Or maybe she’d been telling the truth when she said that she’d just remembered an appointment she had. Maybe the talk about Gus and the surgery and the ER doctor had been a reminder of her meeting.
Yeah, that had to be it. He shook off his apprehension as they approached her vehicle.
“I wasn’t kidding when I told you that you’re always welcome here,” he said, trying to stretch things out.
“I really appreciate that, Alex. You have a beautiful ranch. It’s a great place to ride. And I really like Sugar Foot. She’s the kind of horse I would have wanted when I was a girl.” Selena reached for the door handle on the driver’s side and opened it.
He probably ought to just step back and let her go because they were both tiptoeing around the idea of a relationship—and for good reason. Yet his hormones seemed to have a mind of their own.
Instead of stepping back, he eased forward and placed a hand along her jaw. Then he brushed a goodbye kiss across her lips.
It was a gentle movement, a friendly way to end the day. And while he was sorely tempted to kiss her senseless, he managed to hold himself in check.
“Drive carefully,” he said.
“I will.”
She hesitated for a moment, and his resolve to keep things simple, platonic and safe withered in the afternoon breeze.
As her fading floral scent snaked round him, binding him to her somehow, his thumb brushed against her cheek.
Her eyes widened, and her lips parted, letting him know they were both fighting the same temptation. So he threw caution to the wind and kissed her the way he’d been dying to do since lunchtime.
Chapter Seven
As Alex leaned in to kiss Selena a second time, she should have stopped him, yet for some reason, against her better judgment, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him right back.
How could she do anything else? After all, Alex had been right when he’d said only a fool would have fought their sexual attraction.
And while that might be true, Selena couldn’t risk becoming a fool when it came to getting emotionally involved with a handsome rancher who hadn’t gotten over his late wife—and probably never would.
Sure, biology and hormones might play in Selena’s favor. Alex would eventually lower his guard and have sex again, either with her or with someone else. And she suspected that it would happen sooner rather than later. But that didn’t mean the woman who finally made love with him would win his undying devotion.
Sadly, it appeared that his first wife already had a lock on that.
So Selena placed her hands on his chest and gently pressed against him while drawing her lips from his.
It was the best thing to do, she told herself. Hadn’t she already decided to end their harmless flirtation—or whatever it was—before it was too late to walk away without risking her heart?
Yet as they drew apart, she yearned for more of his taste, his touch, his scent.
Did he realize that ending things—and not just the kiss—was a real struggle for her?
Probably not, because a boyish grin tugged at his lips, and a glimmer lit his eyes.
“Kissing you is becoming a habit,” he said.
A bad one, she feared. But why make a remark like that now? She’d already decided that she wasn’t up for any heavy discussions, especially when she was determined to leave the ranch as quickly as possible.
But to clear up any false assumptions he might have made about what that goodnight kiss meant, she would have to lay it on the line.
“We talked about this earlier,” she said. “Your future is going to be complicated enough without having to deal with a new relationship.”
He seemed to ponder her comment for the longest time. With each second that passed, something in her chest gripped and tightened, squeezing the breath right out of her.
Why didn’t he argue with her and tell her that she was wrong?
He couldn’t, of course, because they both knew the truth.
“About those embryos,” he said, getting right to the heart of the matter.
When he didn’t immediately finish what he’d started to say, she was tempted to prompt him by asking, What about the embryos?
Instead, she held her tongue and waited for him to find the words he appeared to be tossing around in his mind.
Finally, he said, “It’s not something I have to do right away.”
It wasn’t?
“I’m not in any real hurry,” he added.
The tightness in her chest eased, making it easier to breathe, to think, to speak.
“Your plan sounded pretty solid—and imminent—to me,” she said.
“Actually, I’m thinking about postponing things for a while.”
That was a good sign, wasn’t it? Maybe he wasn’t so gung ho on having his and Mary’s babies, after all.
Not that Selena would have any objections to his using those embryos if his mot
ive for doing so was right. She completely understood his wanting to have them because they were a part of him. It was only natural that he would. But if he planned to have them as a way to keep a part of Mary alive, then Selena couldn’t get involved with him. It would be too risky.
However, it now sounded as if he wasn’t so all-fired determined to hire a gestational carrier.
Did that mean his heart was finally on the mend?
And if so, had Selena been instrumental in the healing process?
Alex took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Would you feel better about going out with me if my plan to have those babies was further down the road?”
Yes, but she didn’t want to admit it. Not when there was an even bigger question looming before them.
“Would you feel better?” she asked.
“Probably.”
They stood there for a moment, so much hanging in the balance. More than he probably realized.
“Before you go,” he said, “I have a question I’d like to ask you.”
She braced herself for that heavy conversation she hadn’t been ready for just moments ago, fearing an emotional gunshot to the heart.
“All right,” she said. Shoot.
“There’s a line dancing contest down at the Stagecoach Inn next Friday night. I think it would be a lot of fun to watch. Would you like to go with me?”
Was he asking her on a date? It certainly seemed that way. Moments ago, she would have turned him down flat. But now?
“Do you have to work?” he asked.
“On Friday? Yes, at the office. But I’m not on call, if that’s what you mean.” Still, she didn’t come out and agree to go, even though she was sorely tempted.
When was the last time she’d kicked up her heels or did something just for the fun of it?
Not often enough.
“Have you ever been to a honky-tonk?” he asked.
She chuckled at the thought, releasing the last bit of tension that had built up in her chest. “I can’t say that I have.”
“Then you’re in for a real treat.”
She didn’t know about that. She’d never been a big fan of country music, but by the crooked grin splashed across Alex’s face, she got the feeling that she’d been missing out on a little known secret.
“I’ll tell you what,” she said. “I’ll think about it.”
“Fair enough.”
They continued to stand there, as if waiting for something else to happen, something elusive. An opportunity Selena might never have again.
“You’d better get out of here,” he said, taking a step back.
He must have read the surprise on her face because he smiled and added, “You’re going to be late to that meeting, remember?”
“Oh. Yes. You’re right. I can’t forget that.”
Still, she waited a beat before slipping behind the wheel and closing the driver’s door. Then she started the engine, continuing the pretense that she had to rush off to a meeting she’d never scheduled.
And wondering just what the heck one wore to a honky-tonk.
* * *
Alex hadn’t talked to Selena in more than forty-eight hours, not since they’d ridden horses up to Ol’ Piney. But he hadn’t seen any reason to. He knew she’d be at the wellness center on Tuesday night. They’d have plenty of time to talk afterward.
When she’d left his house Sunday afternoon, he’d gone out on a limb and mentioned the embryos, telling her he would postpone hiring a gestational carrier for a while. Because she’d agreed that the future was complicated, he’d begun to think that the whole baby plan might be holding her back.
And, apparently, it had been.
Of course, he hadn’t changed his mind about having those children. He was determined to go forward with the plan. He owed it to Mary—and to himself.
But if he was interested in dating Selena—and he definitely was—they’d need to spend more time together to see if they were actually as suited as they seemed to be. If they were, and if things became serious enough to consider a long-term relationship, they could discuss the whole idea of his raising the babies or the two of them raising them together.
At that point, if Selena wasn’t on board with his plan for the near future, then he’d know that they weren’t meant for each other.
But why end their friendship—or whatever it was destined to become—before it even had a chance to get off the ground?
For that reason, as he drove to the wellness center Tuesday evening, he was determined to date Selena. After class, he would ask her out to dinner again, just as he’d done last time. He’d level with her about how that kiss had affected him—and what he’d like to do about it.
He’d already asked her to go to the line dancing contest at the Stagecoach Inn on Friday, although she hadn’t agreed yet. But he’d do his best to talk her into it.
Once he arrived at the wellness center, he parked his truck, entered the building and made his way to the community classroom.
Just as he’d done both Tuesdays before, he took a seat in the front row and waited for Selena to arrive.
He’d had a devil of a time trying not to peer over his shoulder to look at the door each time it opened. But that didn’t stop him from glancing at his wristwatch every now and then.
She was a few minutes late tonight.
When she finally made her way to the front, her high heels clicking on the linoleum, Alex sat up straight and offered her an it’s-good-to-see-you smile, which she returned before placing her file upon the podium.
She wore a white lab coat over a black dress tonight, and she’d applied a fresh coat of lipstick. A classy lady, inside and out.
“Good evening,” she said, glancing out at the others in the classroom. “I’m sorry I’m late. Let’s get started.”
As she began to speak about the difference between surrogates and gestational carriers, her focus was clearly on her class and the lecture she’d prepared. But Alex was too caught up in the lovely instructor to process what she was saying.
The spark of attraction that struck hard each time she was with him darn near blazed right now, making it impossible to take note of anything other than how beautiful she was, how bright, how...
How weird was that? This was the one lecture he’d been waiting to hear. But he’d be damned if he could wrap his mind around any of it.
He’d missed her more than he’d expected to. And just being in the same room with her again had his pulse and his hormones doing all kinds of wacky things.
Still, he managed to pull a few sentences out of the air and made a mental note or two. As he’d expected, there were things he needed to watch out for in choosing a gestational carrier as well as other considerations he hadn’t realized.
While Selena continued to talk about surrogacy, Alex studied the list of agencies she’d given the class, the handout she’d given him last week. He’d stuck it in his rear pocket, and they hadn’t mentioned it since.
He’d never put much stock in Freudian theory, but he couldn’t help wondering if they both wanted to avoid talking about his quest to have those babies.
Was that because he’d been right? That Selena wasn’t interested in dating a man with kids?
Or was it merely his fear that his baby plan had her dragging her feet about getting involved with him, when the kids had nothing at all to do with it?
Either way, he supposed it didn’t matter. He’d give their relationship a chance to blossom, then he’d move ahead on his game plan. After all, what would it hurt to postpone things for a couple of months—six at the most?
When the class finally ended and everyone’s questions had been answered or at least addressed, several women and one couple went up to the podium to speak to Selena privately. Most of th
em thanked the doctor for her time and expertise, but a few wanted to share their personal struggles.
Alex remained in his seat until everyone finally filed out of the classroom, then he walked up to the podium.
“How about dinner?” he asked. “I’ve got a hankering for tacos, and I have a feeling you haven’t had a chance to eat yet.”
“I had a late lunch, so I’m really not very hungry.”
“Then have a salad or a cup of soup, something light. Please? I’d really like you to come with me tonight.”
“Why?”
“Because we need to talk.”
Selena reached for the file that held her notes and handouts. “About what?”
“All the things we should have discussed while we were at Ol’ Piney.”
Her gaze sought his, her eyes narrowing as if trying to read something in his words or his expression. But he couldn’t blame her for that. He’d been keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself for most of his life. Or maybe all of it. He’d learned to clam up early on, when his father had clamped down on him at the dinner table, saying that children were to be seen and not heard. Even after he’d gone to live with his maternal uncle, a man who believed certain things—like feelings and other weaknesses a man might have—ought to be kept close to the vest, the lessons had continued.
Mary used to complain about that, although she’d gotten pretty good at getting him to speak up sometimes—and second guessing him when he didn’t.
Selena tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I thought we did talk about...things.”
Not without her forcing the issue. And if truth be told, Alex had held back a lot. But marriage to Mary had kind of softened him a bit, and he’d learned to be more up front with a woman he loved.
Not that he loved Selena at this point, but who knew what could develop if they spent more time together?
“You were right to get angry with me,” he said. “When I went to water the horses.”
Her head cocked slightly to the side, her hair cascading down her shoulder.
“I really dropped the ball,” he added. “That kiss was out of this world, and I should have told you so. At the time, discussing something as complex as a relationship seemed too soon and I just... Well, I guess you could say I balked.”