by Beth Steel
Turner Forget about that.
Bug Makes sense to me. Never thought about it but soon as you said it, had it all figured in my head. I even seen the place, Turn. Everythin’ just fell inta place . . . Except for one thing.
Turner What?
Bug How we gonna get it?
Turner Need to think it over.
Bug You said it’d be an abandoned farm?
Turner doesn’t answer, he drinks from his flask.
Bug Means it’d be outside a’ the restrictions.
Turner They all been emptied years before that.
Bug Don’t matter if it were before or after.
Turner stands, shifts about agitated.
Turner Restrictions don’t apply to us.
Bug They would if we weren’t in the Security no more.
Turner becomes still.
Turner Restrictions aint gonna be forever. (Turns to Bug.) Gotta lift ’em some time.
Bug nods and they look away from each other.
Bug Where we settin’ up for the night?
Turner Castleton.
Turner picks up his rifle
Bug Had this thing happen there.
Turner What thing?
Bug Felt somethin’ watchin’ me.
Turner What’d you mean?
Bug Even though I was sleepin’, I knew it was there.
Turner walks off.
Turner (Calls back.) I’ve dreamt a pussy and woke up fuckin’ tastin’ it.
Bug Wasn’t a dream.
Turner has left. Bug picks up his rifle and turns to leave. He stands motionless as he sees the figure of a man in the distance. The man’s head is lowered and he wears a crown made of stag’s antlers, smeared in blood. The man drops to his knees. A wind rises.
Scene Seven
Slaughter room. Morning. The wind howls.
A deer bound by its back legs hangs down from an iron grip. The bucket directly below it collects the blood as it bleeds out. Megan is holding the knife at the deer, Mrs Peel stands behind her.
Mrs Peel Start at her crotch and take it all the way to her breast.
Megan draws the line with the blade.
Mrs Peel Don’t show her all a’ yer blade, just the tip, give enough to get under her hide.
Megan brings the blade back.
Mrs Peel You do the same thing again but this time you givin’ it more, give her a half inch, that’ll open her up. Don’t get carried away, cause if you do, you gonna be in her stomach.
Burns enters.
Burns Nearly got killed makin’ my way here.
Mrs Peel (To Megan.) Start steelin’ the blade.
Burns Some loose tiles fell not more than a foot away from me.
Mrs Peel Not seen a wind like this before, couple a’ fence posts heaved themselves clean out a’ the soil durin’ the night.
Mrs Peel sees that Burns has been drinking.
Mrs Peel Need somethin’ Burns?
Burns Listened to the radio this mornin’?
Mrs Peel We graftin’ from since six nowadays.
Burns Kings dead.
Megan stops steeling the blade.
Burns Died over there last night. They’ve lost the strong hold. They aint bringin’ anyone back.
Mrs Peel watches Burns drink from his flask.
Burns Yer gonna have two less mouths to feed as a’ tomorrow.
Mrs Peel Who been drafted?
Burns Bug and James.
Mrs Peel They bein’ replaced?
Burns No one to replace ’em. They sendin’ thousands to Venezuela. It just gonna be me and Turner out here.
The wind shrieks.
Burns Damn wind.
Mrs Peel Somethin’ cooler is settin’ in.
Burns You reckon its here to stay?
Mrs Peel I do.
Beat.
Mrs Peel Anythin’ else?
Burns Put a half bottle a’ whiskey under the sink yesterday.
Mrs Peel Already seen it.
Burns You don’t miss a trick, Mrs Peel.
Mrs Peel I got twenty twenty vision, Burns.
Turner storms in followed by Bug.
Turner We need to talk!
Burns No point talkin’ to me about it.
Bug Come on, Turn.
Turner Why aint I goin’?
Burns I don’t decide who goes and who stays.
Turner But you can do somethin’ about it.
Bug It been decided, Turn.
Turner He aint goin’ without me.
Burns Nothin’ I can do about it.
Turner This is bullshit.
Burns Turner! I wouldn’t hesitate in sendin’ you instead that boy if I could.
Turner I want to go!
Bug It aint up to him.
Turner I’m leavin’ tomorrow.
Bug You can’t do that.
Turner I’m takin’ James’s place.
Bug They won’t allow it.
Turner What the fucks he gonna do out there? He don’t know shit. He aint gonna last a week.
Bug You know the drill, Turn.
Turner Would you shut up.
Bug Ah fuck this.
Turner Yeah fuck you.
Megan (From the gut.) Stop!
Everyone turns to Megan. Pause.
Megan (Trembling.) I got a deer to skin.
James enters, Megan turns away.
Mrs Peel What d’you want?
James Hares a’ eatin’ tops a’ your courgettes.
Mrs Peel What did I tell you! Don’t just stand there –
James There’s too many a’ ’em.
Mrs Peel (Gravely.) How many?
James Five.
Mrs Peel draws her blade and breath.
Mrs Peel Megan, get yourself a shovel.
Mrs Peel rushes off.
Mrs Peel We’re bein’ overun!
Megan leaves without looking at James. Burns looks at Turner and Bug.
Burns Say we go finish the last a’ that pie?
Burns and James leave.
Bug Don’t see why you’re pissed at me.
Beat.
Bug Aint nothin’ I can do about it, Turn.
Turner It’s bullshit!
Bug It just the way it goes. You know that.
Turner Fuckin’ sick a’ it, s’what I know.
Bug Aint like I’m not comin’ back here.
Turner When! A year? Two? Three –
Bug Shit I don’t know.
Turner I do! I know that we got plans. I know that we can see them plans through. This. This here situation, don’t ruin them plans if we don’t let it. What it does is bring them plans closer. We been talkin’ about doin’ this thing later, fuck it, we do it now. We do it tonight. We camp out. We don’t come back here.
Pause.
Bug You talkin’ about bein’ an Illegal, Turn.
Turner We aint gonna be Illegals.
Bug S’what you sayin’.
Turner S’fuckin’ word that don’t mean shit for us.
Bug S’word that gets us struck off the register.
Turner We don’t need to be on it.
Bug What a’ you talkin’ about?
Turner We’d be self sufficient. We wouldn’t need any a’ their tinned hand outs. We’d be on our own and botherin’ nobody. We wouldn’t be livin’ in a squalor terrace. We’d find a place in the middle a’ nowhere, we know the drill Bug. We know where Security go and don’t go –
Bug We are Security!
Turner I know what we are. And I know what we could be.
Beat.
Bug I aint doin’ it till we can do it right. I couldn’t be alright with what I done over these years if I thought that given the chance I’d do same as them.
Turner I aint the same as them!
Bug I dint say that –
Turner I fought in war after war –
Bug I never said you dint.
Turner You never said nothin’.
Turner leaves.
Scene Eight
Stables. Evening. Violent rain.
James waits. Megan enters.
James Dint know if you were gonna come.
Megan Just passin’ by.
James Been waitin here all night.
Megan Washed my hair.
James Haven’t had a chance –
Megan Don’t want to talk about it.
Pause.
Megan Mince hasn’t been eatin’.
Beat.
James Didn’t know that.
Megan Two days now.
James Not like him.
Beat.
Megan Chickens haven’t laid eggs.
James Had an egg this morning.
Megan You had an old egg.
Beat.
James Megan –
Megan Don’t want to talk about it.
Pause.
Megan Dropped a plate this afternoon.
Beat.
James It break?
Megan Million pieces.
James Megan stop –
Megan Don’t want to talk about it.
Beat.
Megan Beans a’ spoilt.
Beat.
Megan A tree fell.
Beat.
Megan Barn door’s smashed.
Beat.
Megan Cow’s dead.
Beat.
Megan (Cries.) Don’t want to cry about it.
James goes towards her but she steps back.
Megan Don’t want to be left behind.
James Don’t want to leave.
Megan Don’t want to be alone.
James I’m coming back.
James moves closer to her.
Megan Don’t want to wait.
James Ssshh.
Megan Don’t want to want.
James Ssshh.
Megan Don’t want to want you.
Beat.
Megan Want you.
James Want you too.
Megan Want you to love me.
James Already do.
Beat.
James Love you.
Pause.
Megan Love you.
Beat.
James I love you.
Beat.
Megan (Smiles.) I love you.
James (Smiles.) I love you.
Megan (Smiles.) I love you.
James (Laughs.) I love you!
Megan (Laughs.) I love you!
James (Shouts.) I love you!
Megan Ssshh. Want you to make love to me.
Blackout.
Act Two
Scene One
Kitchen. Noon. Violent rain.
Mrs Peel and Megan are stacking and checking crates of vegetables. Burns enters jauntily, carrying a rifle and wet from rain.
Burns I just hung you up a fine young hind.
Mrs Peel That don’t mean pig pee to me right now Burns.
Burns puts the rifle down, notices the crates.
Mrs Peel Barn roof fixin’ up s’what I need.
Burns It comin’ in bad?
Mrs Peel I’ve stopped counting how much I’ve lost to fungus.
Burns Nothin’ I can do about it in this rain.
Mrs Peel He’s got me by the balls this time.
Burns Soon as it stops I’ll get up there, see to it.
Mrs Peel Should a’ been seen to before now.
Burns I done some a’ it.
Mrs Peel That been six week ago.
Burns Few days work and it’ll be finished. Never seen so many hares about. Must a’ been a spike in ‘em, bought back two a’ them as well. Almost missed the hind, was takin’ a piss when I seen it and just as I’m at the trigger somethin’ must a’ spooked it cause it bolted.
Mrs Peel (Lowers her gaze.) Dint finish that job neither.
Burns zips up his fly. Turner enters, wet and sulky.
Turner I aint campin’ up the grit stone no more. Aint had a piss in two days, case I got fast there on the spot. Aint had a wash and I’m salty as a wet dog. Fuckin’ stupid-cuntin’ tent caved in on me twice. I had to wallop my boots inta that bastard horse’s lungs to get it to budge. And I been on a saddle way to fuckin’ hell and back. I aint campin’ up the grit stone no more!
Beat.
Turner Cup a’ tea’d be nice.
Mrs Peel puts the tea on.
Burns I was gonna ask for that nice hare and onion stew you made for us one time?
Mrs Peel Aint makin’ that again, makes you fart.
Burns Only . . . Bug’s gettin’ back here today.
Mrs Peel I definitely aint makin’ no stew.
Megan is devastated.
Turner You dint tell me that!
Burns You just got in.
Turner When’s he comin’?
Burns Tonight.
Turner Shit. We aint ready. we done nothin’ for him.
Burns Be nice to make him that stew.
Mrs Peel He gonna get what he get.
Megan This must be a good sign.
Turner He aint gonna want no stew.
Megan Must mean they gonna send more back.
Turner He gonna want lamb.
Mrs Peel He aint getting’ it.
Megan They say that, Burns?
Turner We gotta get one a’ them lambs on a spit.
Mrs Peel I need them sheep for milk.
Turner You don’t need all a’ ’em.
Mrs Peel Sheep only got two teats, I need every teat I got!
Turner I knowed he gonna come back. How the fuck he swing that?
Stands and raises his flask.
To that jammy fuckin’ bastard.
Burns To bringin’ ’em home.
Megan has finally got her answer.
Megan To bringin’ ’em home.
Chink – they belt one back. Megan and Turner are up and about the kitchen.
Turner We’ll camp out early tonight.
Megan We should all celebrate here.
Burns don’t go throwin’ that bag out, can get another cup out a’ that.
Mrs Peel (Dumps the tea bag.) I know how to make a cup a’ tea.
Turner Take some steaks out with us.
Megan You could both stay here.
Burns Now why’d you do that?
Mrs Peel I made three cups out a’ it.
Turner We got some sides a’ deer.
Megan That way we could all hear about it.
Burns I know, I was watchin’.
Mrs Peel That bag had nothin’ in it left to give.
Turner We aint got enough whisky!
Burns I think it has a little more life in it yet.
Mrs Peel One bag can make up to three cups.
Burns Looks like yer got yourself a challenge there, Mrs Peel, cause I can make four.
Mrs Peel I can make ten if you want ’em weak as cat piss!
Burns I can make four cups, strong as they come, with one bag.
Mrs Peel You’re a bare-faced liar, Burns.
Burns (Staring at her.) Turner, get me a tea bag and four cups.
Mrs Peel (Staring at him.) Make that two bags and seven cups.
Beat. Everyone turns to Turner.
Turner (Disbelief.) What?
Turner does it.
Burns Who’s judgin’?
Mrs Peel You choose.
Burns Which one of youse knows a good cuppa?
Megan shoots her hand into the air.
Burns Alright, Megan it is. Second thing. What’s at stake here?
Mrs Peel What d’you mean?
Burns We’re doin’ prizes.
Mrs Peel Prizes?
Megan Prizes!
Mrs Peel Alright. You first.
Burns I’d like to have a dance.
Beat.
Mrs Peel What d’you mean?
Burns I’d like to dance.
Mrs Peel (Indifferent.) Alright.
Burns You and me.
Turner What?
Mrs Peel I aint dancin’.
Burn
s Man can’t dance alone.
Mrs Peel I aint dancin’ with you, Burns.
Megan I will!
Burns Thought you was gonna’ win?
Beat.
Mrs Peel Alright. Stakes it is. I want a’ go out on them moors with yer and get a deer.
Burns Alright.
Turner What?
Burns (To Megan.) Ready?
Megan begins the tasting, starting with Mrs Peel’s three cups.
Megan They all good.
Mrs Peel sniffs with pride and Megan moves on to Burns’s cups. Megan maximizes her time as the centre of attention – she sips, slurps, ponders and gurgles.
Megan They all good!
Mrs Peel You win.
Turner pats Burns on the back, Megan claps, Mrs Peel smiles.
Bug enters, his left arm is now a stump.
Turner You’re early.
Bug drops his bag down.
Turner Nothin’s ready.
Bug S’alright.
Megan looks as if she might burst into tears, she leaves.
Burns (Shakes his hand.) Good to have yer back.
Bug Good to be back.
Turner Where the fuck you been?
Turner slings his arms around Bug, they wrestle and laugh. Mrs Peel leaves.
Turner Fuckin’ leavin’ me.
Burns Let’s have a drink.
They belt one back.
Turner (Nods to the stump.) So, what happened there then?
Bug Lost it.
Turner It giver yer any trouble?
Bug Can hurt. Just adaptin’ to it.
Turner Least you can still pull your prick.
Burns How’s Brian?
Bug We were nowhere near his regiment.
Burns What? But you were south.
Bug Couldn’t get no word to him.
Turner How’s James?
Burns You get my letter to him?
Bug I’m sorry, Burns.
Turner He doin’ us proud?
Burns A they bringin’ any a’ ’em back?
Bug There are soldiers . . . there are soldiers . . .
Beat. Burns sits down.
Turner Want somethin’ to eat?
Bug I’m alright with this.
Turner What’d they drink over there?
Bug Rum.
Turner S’alright.
Bug Yeah. Prefer whiskey.
Turner We aint got much a’ it.
Bug They shippin’ less over?
Turner Halved our supplies, s’only thing we get short a’. Way we set up here now, we eatin’ none a’ that tinned shit. It gonna be steak and taters we puttin’ on the fire tonight. Times we back here we getting’ meat and two veg, stews with mash . . . all kinds a’ shit. And then there’s breakfast. Full on fried breakfast!
Bug Sounds good. So what’s been goin’ on?
Turner Jack shit been happenin’ out here.