“Babe, this is the scary part. She didn’t have to order a thing. Already had the doll, clothes and everything. One day, we’re going to show up to find her house either swallowed up by the ground, encased in green goo or demolished by the order of the CIA.”
Another laugh escaped her lips right before she burst into tears. She buried her head in her hands as Trinity’s hand rubbed her back.
“It’s okay, honey. We’ll get you home and take care of you. Don’t worry. We’ll all be here for you.”
Taking comfort in her friend’s support, she allowed the tears and pain to come, knowing they would all be there for her, offering comfort, kind words and offers of bodily revenge against Carter.
“I have the best friends in the world,” she wailed, tears and snot running down her face as she continued sobbing all the way home.
* * * *
“I’ve heard of a spell that will make his cock smell like old shoes then cover it with red pus-y boils. No woman in her right mind would get next to a man like that.”
“I’ve already signed him up with a gay escort service.”
“Ewww, good one, Recee.”
“I say we go over there, drug him up and cut off his dick. We’ll stick in the blender and make him drink it.”
“Oh, I know! Let’s send him to a third world country and get a cavity search done…repeatedly.”
The five of them sat or paced around Briley’s cramped efficiency apartment. She’d lived here since starting her business ten years ago when she’d barely been able to make the rent. Now, when she could afford to live almost anyplace she wanted, there was no time to look for a better space much less move.
“Guys,” she wiped her eyes on an old faded pink robe she’d had for years, “thanks for the generous offers. I don’t think magic, maiming or anal probes are the way to get over him.”
Recee stopped her pacing to glare at Briley, who was sprawled across her queen bed. “He made you cry.” Her voice low with anger as her navy eyes blazed with the need for vengeance.
“Yeah, well, who knew I was a crier?” she quipped, but the joke fell flat as four concerned faces looked at her.
“You never cry, Bri, even when you slammed your hand in the cargo door of Olivia’s SUV. You cursed, kicked and threatened, but never once did you shed a tear.” Emma sank down next to her on the bed and handed her a new box of tissues.
“That was me being more mad at myself for getting hurt in such a stupid way than really hurt.” She mopped up fresh tears.
Trinity snorted. “Tell that to the doctor you threatened to make a soprano. He called security and refused to work on you until they got there.”
Briley waved away the incident. “Pain makes me cranky,” she explained while trying to ignore the throbbing emptiness that used to be her heart.
“Sweetie,” Emma stroked her hair, “why don’t you tell us what happened? When we left you last night, everything seemed to be going well.”
“How the hell would you know, Em? You were passed out, drooling all over the backseat,” Recee accused as she threw pillows off the bed to make room for Olivia and herself to sit.
“I never drool and I wasn’t passed out. I had trouble keeping my eyes open, that’s all.”
They all looked at each other and cracked up. Briley felt their laughter trickle into her bleeding heart and numb the painful wound. Maybe things weren’t great, maybe leaving Carter had been a mistake, but regardless of what he thought or said, she’d never been alone. Not while she had these four lunatics to call family.
The understanding that they would always be there for her no matter how many stupid mistakes she made comforted her. Regardless of nights spent in jail thanks to her smart mouth and tequila loosened tongue, they’d never let her down or left her alone.
With that kind of unconditional support and safety net, Briley felt strong enough to finally tell them about her fight with Carter.
“He says he loves me,” she said then went on to take them through the whole nasty fight, complete with quotes and hand gestures.
When Briley finally finished her sad story, all four of her friends stared at her with open mouthed shock.
Recee, as usual, cut straight to the point. “Are you high or just stupid?” she demanded, jumping to her feet to pace off her the frustration so visible in her agitated movements.
“Huh?” was all Briley could think to say. If this was an example of unconditional love, she didn’t want it any more. She knew harden criminals with less mean streaks.
Even sweet, forgiving, loyal-to-the-end Emma looked pissed. “How could you do that to him, Briley? The man is head over heels in love with you and you throw it back in his face.” She shook her head disappointment written clearly all over expressive face.
“Do what?” Suddenly, lying vulnerable on the bed didn’t feel like such a safe idea any more. She scooted off her mattress and stood facing her so-called friends. “Didn’t any of you hear what I said? He called me coward. He said I wasn’t worth the effort anymore. That’s just mean.”
“Why do you care?” Trinity sat propped against the simple oak headboard, one pillow tucked behind her head and another clutched against her stomach. “You aren’t in love with Carter. You have no emotional investment whatsoever, so why do you care?”
She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She tried again and still no real answer came to mind. Why did she care so much? Love, she finally admitted. She cared because she loved him. She hurt deep down to her soul because she loved him. Nothing else made sense, nothing else could make her feel this much pain and still be able to live.
“Oh shit, I love that freaky genius.” The words whispered past her lips without thought and she sank with shaky legs on the bed.
Trinity tossed the pillow she’d been holding and crawled over to wrap Briley in a comforting hug. “Sucks, I know, honey, but the first step is always the hardest. Now we just need to figure out why you’re fighting so hard against being in love.”
She lifted tear damped eyes to lock onto Trinity’s jewel green ones. “Because I can’t believe someone like him would be happy with someone like me for the rest of his life.” The truth, once admitted, didn’t set her free. Instead, it weighed her down with doubt.
Olivia hugged her on her free side. “Why wouldn’t Carter love you? You’re beautiful, smart, and have a wicked sense of humour. You run a successful business and have the greatest friends on earth.”
“I’m not…” This is where it got tricky, at least explaining it to these women, who’d been through it all. She started again. “I’m fat. I’m never going to get down to a size ten, much less a two. I like food too much to starve myself. My thighs have dimples, my butt jiggles and my stomach hasn’t been flat since I had the stomach flu three years ago. Don’t get me started on my boobs. I’m afraid one day I’ll wake up and accidentally tuck them into my underwear, they’ll be drooping so much. How could someone as in shape as Carter want me?”
Two sets of arms hugged her tight as more tears rolled down her face. There it was. The ugly truth. Briley didn’t think she was good enough for Carter, or at least not for the long haul.
“You are so much more than your body, Bri. I thought you of all people would know that by now.” Emma gently mopped Briley’s face with another tissue. “You’ve never felt this way before with other men.”
“Because it’s never mattered before, not this much, right?” Olivia questioned, drawing back from their embrace. “He matters so everything to do with him becomes more important than anyone before.”
Briley nodded, not sure what else to say. The room grew quiet as the heater blew warm air through the apartment and the refrigerator dumped another load of ice in the tray.
“I agree with Briley. Have you seen her butt in motion? It’s like Jell-O on crack, everything’s moving back there. Looks like two Twinkies fighting to the death, if you ask me.” Recee spoke from her position against the wall, a small smirk tilti
ng her lips as she stared at Briley’s shocked face. “What? If you didn’t want me to agree with you, you should have kept your mouth shut.”
“Really, Recee, did you have to say Twinkies?” Emma protested, patting Briley’s back while shooting their friend the evil eye. “Just so you know, no one over the age of twenty-five has perky breasts.”
Recee, unrepentant as ever, shrugged her silk-clad shoulders. “She started it, but Emma’s right about the boob comment. Unless you fill those girls up with more silicon than a Hollywood awards ceremony, you’ll be tucking your tits into your back pockets along with the rest of us.”
“Oh, that’s mature.” This from Olivia who looked ready to take Recee down with one good right hook.
“I’m not the one sitting at home crying because she let her wide load ass and droopy boobs scare her away from a great guy.”
Briley’s head jerked up. “I never said anything about a wide butt, Recee.”
Looking unconcerned, Recee buffed her nails against her linen slacks. “Seemed to be the time to give you a heads up on that little flaw.”
“It would have been kinder to not mention it at all.” she pointed out, feeling her sadness fade under the weight of good healthy anger. “My ass is not wide.”
“Well, I thought since you were so deep into your pity party you might run out of things to feel sorry for yourself about. I was just trying to help by pointing other flaws out that you might have missed. Though with that much junk in your trunk a blind man couldn’t miss that ass.”
“Take a deep breath, Briley, and remember she has a file with pictures on all of us,” Olivia reminded her. “Sneaky heifer.”
Recee widened her eyes, doing her best to appear innocent. “Moi? Sneaky? Like it’s my fault some of you,” her gaze landed on Emma and Briley, “thought table dancing at the Baptist men’s dinner convention was a good idea at the time. I only thought I was taping innocent vacation videos.”
“You poured tequila down our throats then told us those men were just returned home soldiers from Iraq. You told us it was our duty as Americans to show our support any way we could,” Emma protested, her face getting red from embarrassment and anger. “The lap dancing was your idea. You even paid the mariachi band to play that dirty cowboy song. And offered to wrap their preacher in red, white and blue condoms.”
“Hmm, imagine my shock and surprise when the Baptist Ladies for the Lord decided to meet their husbands for a last minute prayer fest. Besides, I was trying to do my patriotic duty. I really should feel bad about that,” Recee concluded, looking anything but remorseful. “I can’t help it if I love my country.”
“I think regrets are two years and one stroke patient too late. I’ll never forgive myself for sending that poor man to the E.R.” Emma bit her lip, guilt making her hazel blue eyes dull. “He looked like such a nice man too.”
“Hell, get over it, Em. That’s one Baptist going to meet his maker with a big old Texas grin on his face,” Recee pointed out in her psychotic yet rational way.
“I would never have done it, if you hadn’t been egging me on. I’m not stripper material.”
“What the hell does any of this have to do with me or Carter?” Briley demanded, fed up with their not-so-flattering trip down memory lane. “I liked it better when the four of you were threatening parts of his manhood.”
“Hmm, that was fun,” Trinity agreed.
“Nothing, I just like reminding Emma I have pictures and giving you a hard time. Selfish much?” Recee questioned, looking far too calm and collected for Briley’s liking.
Trinity sighed and got off the bed. She walked calmly across the room then reached out and smacked Recee against the back of her head. “Bitch.”
Recee rubbed the back of her injured head. “Whore.”
“At least I get paid for it, instead of trying to give it away for free with no takers.”
Resigned to her life and her friends, Briley fell back against the mattress. “I guess I deserved it.”
“You sure as hell did,” Recee agreed, still rubbing her head and shooting Trinity dirty looks. “You know we think you’re perfect. Well, close enough anyway. Carter fell for you exactly as you, not twenty pounds lighter with ass fat pumped into your lips. You are who you are and that man knows exactly what’s he’s getting.” Finally, Recee closed the distance between them and took Briley’s hand. “If Carter lost all his hair, lost a leg or arm and gained two hundred pounds, would it change your feelings for him?”
“Of course not, I love Carter because of who he is, not what he looks…” Her voice trailed off as Recee’s meaning sank in. If she could love Carter unconditionally, why couldn’t she trust him enough to do the same? Wasn’t that what love as all about? Opening yourself up completely to another person, letting them into the deepest parts of your soul and trusting they’d keep your heart safe?
Life didn’t come with money back guarantees. No one could promise her they’d live happily ever after. Hell, tomorrow wasn’t a given either. The most she had was the present. Right now, this minute was the only thing given to her. Would she remain the coward Carter accused her of being or finally grow up and learn to trust someone other than her friends?
“You do know how much I hate it when you’re right?”
Recee nodded. “Come on, Twinkie butt, we need to come up with a plan for you to get your man and your groove back on.”
Briley rose from the bed, smacked Recee on the same spot Trinity had hit. “Quit calling it that!”
“But it does look—”
“Shut up, Recee,” they all chorused together amid laughter.
“Did I tell you that I was adopting a baby pig?” Trinity asked the group as they made their way out of the bedroom. “Really, I’m serious this time. I’ve got papers and everything.”
Chapter Ten
Mini dwarves were wearing spiked hats tap dancing inside his head. Strange as he knew it sounded it was the only reasonable explanation for the pain pounding against his brain. And something long dead must have been shoved into his mouth to decompose.
All in all, Carter felt like run over dog shit.
“I’m dying,” he whispered, not feeling brave enough to attempt opening his eyes or to check for missing organs. The way his body felt something major must have been taken. He just wished whoever had stolen his body parts would have stayed to finish off the job. Hell seemed like such a great vacation spot right about now.
The little men increased the tempo of their dancing. Carter whimpered in pain as his stomach started to dance along to their painful rhythm.
Planets exploded behind his eyes just as a voice boomed through the room. “Well, you’re not dead.”
“Yet.” another voice chimed in.
Carter didn’t care who they were or why they were here. He had only one goal in his life. “Kill me, please,” he begged.
“Nope,” an amused voice answered. “We promised to leave that to Recee or Trinity.”
Oh shit, now he recognised those laughs. Cracking his eye open to barely a slit, Carter looked at the two men standing above him grinning. Except their smiles had nothing to do with amusement. “What, are you two here to soften me up for the real tag team duo? ‘Cause I have to tell you,” he licked at his dry lips, “I don’t think I can feel any worse.”
“Sure, you can.” Brock walked over to the wall and flicked the light switch.
Bright light beamed into his eye. He swore and dragged his arm over his face to stop the blinding pain. “Having fun?” he muttered, knowing worse was to come.
“Not yet, but then we’re just getting started.” Ethan dropped down onto the mattress making it and Carter bounce until he felt his stomach trying to crawl up his spine.
“Fuck, just shoot me now and put us all out of our misery,” he pleaded, looking forward to painless afterlife.
“Like I said, no can do. The women want their piece of you,” Ethan informed him, a certain happy glee in his voice.
; As far as Carter was concerned, they could take whatever piece they wanted from his uncaring corpse. “So you’re just here to what? Make sure I don’t skip town?” Yeah right, like he could even think of moving his poor abused body off the bed much less in any vertical position that required coordination.
“Nah, Ethan and I thought we’d stop by to warn you then beat the hell out of you. Looks like you took care of the last for us all by yourself.” Brock’s voice came from his other side.
“Please, I’m begging you, don’t bounce the bed. If you do, I won’t be responsible for the actions of my stomach,” he warned, feeling fully capable of following through with the threat.
“That is just nasty, my man. How much did you have to drink last night?”
It didn’t matter to Carter that he’d just lost half his testosterone admitting to his upset stomach. All that mattered was Brock’s voice had drifted farther away from him. No bed bouncing. He could live with being half a man, if he lived at all.
“Shit, I don’t know.” Cautiously, he tipped his arm up and found his vision not impaired by Brock’s trick with the light switch. He dropped his arm to his stomach and instantly regretted the action as his gut roiled at the slight abuse. “I started off with beer then ran out, so I hit whatever I had handy.”
“From the smell of this place and you, I’d say that was pretty much the contents of the bar,” Ethan agreed, looking around the messy room.
“Yeah, well, I’d had a shitty morning. Seemed like the thing to do.” With his eyes not burned out of their sockets, Carter felt confident enough to sit up. When that didn’t make him race to the bathroom, he gingerly tried standing. Instantly, the world shifted and he found himself planted back on the bed.
“From what we hear, you brought the shit right down on yourself.” Brock’s voice held a streak of mean in it that normally would have raised Carter’s hackles. Today, he was too tired, sick and heartbroken to care.
“I don’t really feel like getting in to it with either one of you,” he said, slowly rising to his feet. When the floor stayed put, he shuffled his way into the bathroom for a desperately needed glass of water.
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