by Marta Perry
I want to be like them, Lord, but I don’t feel very strong right now. Please guide me. Help me to find the answer.
She dropped a load of sheets into the washer in the kitchen and started it, finding its hum companionable in the quiet house. Even with patients, family and new friends, the house still sometimes felt lonely.
The clop of a horse’s hooves alerted her, and she looked out the kitchen window to see Rachel halting her buggy next to the back steps. She wasn’t alone. Levi sat beside her.
Panic gripped her. Not now, Lord. I’m not ready yet. She’d asked God to help her find the answer, and He’d immediately presented her with an opportunity to do just that, ready or not.
She dried her hands and reached the door just as her young cousins did. Rachel beamed at her. “We surprise you, ja?”
“Yes, you do. Come in, please.”
“I must do some shopping at Ruth’s for my mother.” She gave Levi a little push toward Fiona. “Levi does not like shopping. Is all right if he watches the television?”
She could hardly imagine this was anything but God’s answer to her prayer, with the opportunity to talk to Levi alone thrust at her.
“Of course.” She touched Levi’s shoulder lightly. “Go on in, Levi. I’ll fix a snack for you.”
He nodded, not speaking, and headed down the hall. She glanced at Rachel, who was frowning at the doorway through which her brother had gone.
“Is anything wrong?”
“N-no.” Rachel didn’t sound as confident as she usually did. “It’s just that Levi has been quiet—more quiet than usual. Often I can worm it out if something bothers him, but not this time.” She shook her head. “I will come back soon. Thank you, Cousin Fiona.”
She stood for a few minutes after Rachel left, hands braced against the counter. Please, Lord.
She took a breath. She knew what she had to do. The question was, could she do it? Well, she had to try.
Quickly, she took out the peanut butter, bread and jelly. It might be easier to talk over a snack, assuming she could get the boy to talk at all.
She put the sandwiches on a tray, added two glasses of milk, and carried the tray through to the waiting room, where Levi sat cross-legged on the rug in front of the television, gaze rapt on the flickering images on the screen.
Sitting down next to him, she held out the tray.
“Ser gut.” He gave her a shy smile that made him look about eight. He took a bite of the sandwich, returning his attention to the television.
She couldn’t possibly force a bite down her dry throat. Instead, she drained half a glass of milk.
Some cowardly part of her told her to get up, make an excuse and scurry back to the kitchen until Rachel returned. Don’t get involved. That’s safer. You can’t get hurt that way.
But it was too late for that. She was already involved, and no matter what happened, she had to try.
She glanced at the television, looking for something to start the conversation. The show was typical cartoon fare, with plucky teen heroes battling monsters.
“I’ve never seen this one before. Is it good?”
Levi shrugged. “Is all right. Not as good as video games.”
Something tightened inside her. “I’ve never played one of those. Do you like them?”
“You have to learn to control them.” He gestured with his hands, as if working an imaginary control. “I learned fast.”
That was so close to bragging that it took her aback for an instant. Without noticing it, she’d become accustomed to the ingrained Amish modesty.
“You must have some English friends to teach you video games.” Who are they, Levi? What trouble did they lead you into?
“I have some. There’s nothing bad with that.” His voice turned defensive. “You are English, and you are my cousin.”
“That’s true,” she said slowly. Do it. “Unless those English friends want you to do something you know is wrong. Then it might be very bad.”
Levi stared at her, blue eyes widening. Then he dropped the remains of his sandwich, scrambled to his feet and bolted for the door.
“Levi—”
But by the time she reached the door, he was gone.
She stood in the doorway for a moment, arguing with herself. He hadn’t admitted anything, had he? There was nothing that she could really tell Ted—no evidence that Levi was involved with the vandals.
But she couldn’t fool herself about this. Something had been very wrong about the way the boy reacted.
Her aunt Siobhan’s words came back to her again. If Levi was involved, the best thing for him was to be caught quickly, before anything else happened. She couldn’t hide her head in the sand. She had to call Ted.
She glared at the phone a few minutes later, frustrated. It was one thing to get her courage screwed up to do this, and another to be confronted with nothing but an automatic answering machine instead of Ted.
If she waited until later—but that was the coward’s way out, and she couldn’t take that any longer. The message tone sounded.
“Ted, it’s Fiona. I just had a conversation with my cousin. I think we’d better talk as soon as possible.”
There, it was done. Why was it that doing the right thing felt so much like being a traitor?
Chapter Thirteen
“Look, I’m really sorry I didn’t get back to you last night.”
Ted stood just inside Fiona’s kitchen doorway, because she hadn’t offered him a seat. Judging by how annoyed she looked with him, it was a wonder she’d even let him in the door.
“That’s all right.” She didn’t sound as if it was all right, but at least she’d said the words. Fiona poured a mug of coffee and held it out to him.
“Thanks.” The mug warmed his palms, but it didn’t take away the chill in the atmosphere.
He couldn’t be irritated in return, because he knew the strain on her face was his fault. By the time he’d finally retrieved his messages and heard Fiona’s voice, he’d told himself it was too late to disturb her. And today had been completely jammed, so that it wasn’t until late afternoon that he’d been able to get here.
If her pale face and heavy eyes were any indication, she probably spent the night worrying about her cousin. He longed to offer her sympathy and reassurance, but unfortunately that was in short supply right now.
“Sit down,” she said abruptly, pulling out a seat at the kitchen table. “Please,” she added, as if realizing how short that had been.
“Right.” He sat down across the table from her.
“I’m sorry.” She pushed the waves of thick hair back from her forehead. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“No, neither did I.”
Her eyes widened, as if she were startled and frightened. “Why? What happened?”
“You first.” He gestured toward her. He was a cop in the middle of an investigation, and he’d best remember that. “What did Levi say?”
He thought she’d protest at that, but she just frowned down at the dark brew. “He didn’t really say much. He let it slip that he’s been hanging around with some English friends, and he was pretty defensive about it.”
“He mention any names?” Tension knifed through him. If that boy was involved in what had happened last night, a lot of people were going to be hurting.
Fiona shook her head. “It was like talking to a clam. So then I said that having English friends wasn’t a problem, unless they wanted him to do things he knew were wrong.”
“What did he say?” His fingers tightened on the mug.
“Nothing.” She refused to look at him. “He jumped up and ran out of the house.”
Heaviness settled in his heart. “I guess that tells us what we need to know, then.”
“Maybe not.” Her head came up. “It could mean a lot of things other than his being involved with the vandals.”
“I suppose it might, but that’s not all there is to it. Not now.”
Apprehension
filled her eyes. “What is it? What happened?”
He frowned. “Look, some of what I’m going to tell you is public knowledge, or soon will be. Some of it is police business, but I’m telling you because you’re in a position to help.”
Was that all? He wasn’t sure any longer.
“I understand.” She clasped her hands together tightly. “Just tell me.”
“They’re getting careless. And dangerous. They set fire to a barn last night at Marvin Douglas’s place. Like they tried to do at Mose’s farm.” The chill he’d felt when he heard the fire alarm went down his spine again. “That’s the worst thing a farmer can face—a barn burning. Old Marv’s dairy cows were inside the barn.”
“Oh, no.” Fiona’s face had gone even whiter. “How bad was it?”
“Marv’s seventy-five if he’s a day. He got the cows out all right, but the barn’s a total loss. And he had a heart attack watching it burn.”
Fiona’s breath caught, her hand going to her lips as if to hold back a cry. “Is he—”
“In the hospital, in coronary care. He’s a tough old bird—says he’s fine and wants to go home.”
“Could he identify the boys?”
“He didn’t get a close enough look, but the vehicle he spotted sounded enough like Jared’s to give me cause to run over there. I caught Jared and two of his buddies coming home—with empty beer bottles in the car and an empty kerosene can in the trunk.”
“Not Levi?”
“No. But if he had been with them, they’d have dropped him off first.”
“You sound as if you want him to be guilty.” She flared up, eyes blazing.
For a fraction of a second he wanted to lash back. How dare she attack him, when he was doing the work he’d sworn to do?
The reaction seeped away when he recognized the pain in her face. She was trying to protect her cousin, trying desperately to believe he wouldn’t do this.
“I don’t want any such thing,” he said evenly. “And I think you know that.”
She put her hand up, seeming surprised to find a tear trickling down her cheek. “I’m sorry. I know you care about Levi. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I want to help him, too, but the only way to do that is to find the truth.”
“What happened to the other boys? Are they saying anything?”
“Nothing helpful.” He frowned. “They haven’t been charged yet. I’d like to produce a bit more hard evidence before I do that. Jared was pretty cocky, practically daring me to arrest him. Naturally his parents don’t believe he’d do anything as serious as setting a fire.”
She paled. “I understand how they feel. That’s how I feel about Levi.”
“Levi hasn’t been in a string of malicious mischief incidents dating back three or four years. And he’s not mouthing off to police officers.”
“I take it you don’t care much for Jared.”
There was more truth to that than he wanted to admit. “He actually hinted around, as if he was trying to blackmail me.”
“Blackmail you? That’s ridiculous.” She was quick to his defense, and it warmed him.
“Influence, maybe is a better term. He was careful not to admit anything, but he hinted that I’d be unhappy if I found that fourth vandal.” Ted reached across the table to put his hand over Fiona’s. “He implied that it was someone close to me. Like Levi.”
The words echoed in the quiet room.
Fiona couldn’t say anything for a long moment. She could only stare at Ted, her heart pounding in her ears. His fingers tightened over hers.
“Did you believe him?” Ted knew Levi far better than she did. If he thought Levi capable of—no, she just couldn’t buy that. “Ted, you can’t believe Levi would set fire to a barn knowing there were cows inside. Maybe some of the other things, but not that.”
The stern planes of his face seemed to harden. “A week ago I’d have said it was impossible. But the evidence keeps piling up.”
She shook her head helplessly. Unable to sit there any longer, she crossed to the counter, staring out the window at the setting sun.
She heard the scrape of Ted’s chair as he rose, the heavy tread of his feet coming toward her. His hands came down on her shoulders, lightly, tenderly, and his grip sent strength into her.
“I wish I saw my way clear in this.” His voice was husky. “I don’t want you to get hurt, Fiona.”
She gave in to the longing to lean back against him, feeling the thud of her heart, the protectiveness of his arms around her. He pressed his cheek against her temple, and his breath feathered across her skin.
“I don’t want to get hurt either, but I think it may be too late for that. I just hate to think how my grandparents will feel—”
“You can’t tell them.” He turned her to face him, and he was back to being the in-control cop again. “Not now. Not until I know for sure what the truth is.”
She swallowed the argument she was tempted to make. Of course he was right. There was little sense in alarming them. Perhaps Ted would find that Levi hadn’t been involved. She needed that to cling to.
“I won’t.” She took a step back, and his hands fell from her shoulders. “But you told me. Why?”
“Only because you were already involved, and—” He stopped, his frown deepening until it set deep furrows between his straight brows.
“What is it?”
“Something was said when the three boys were together. Something I wasn’t meant to overhear.”
“Are you going to tell me what it was, or do I have to guess?” At his expression, a chill went down her spine that had nothing to do with the temperature.
His blue eyes darkened when they rested on her. “You were mentioned. The others hushed him up pretty fast when they saw I was there, but I’m sure of it.”
“Me? How would they even know me?” She didn’t want to admit being frightened at the thought.
“I don’t know what it means, but I don’t like it. Maybe it was something about you being Levi’s kin. Maybe they figured out that you spotted them that night at Ruth’s store. I don’t know, but I had to warn you.”
“You can’t think they’d try to do anything to me. That’s ridiculous. What could they possibly gain?”
“Nothing, but I’d say rational thinking isn’t exactly their strong suit.” He clasped her hands in a quick, hard grip. “Look, it’s probably nothing. Use some of those urban smarts of yours and take precautions—lock your doors, keep the outside lights burning.”
She nodded, less concerned for herself than she was for Levi. And for Ted. “What are you going to do?”
“Investigate. Try to find out the truth.” His face was somber. “I love that boy, too, you know. But if he broke the law, he has to be held responsible.”
* * *
Fiona was double-checking the contents of her delivery bag when she hear a soft sound—so soft, she couldn’t be sure what it was. She glanced toward the office window. Darkness pressed on it.
Time had slipped away while she’d sat in the office after Ted left. Praying. Thinking. Trying to see her way through this difficult situation.
Keep your doors locked and your outside lights on, Ted had told her, and she’d forgotten those precautions already. He’d been overreacting, surely. This was Crossroads, not the big city.
Still, her heart thumped as she walked softly out into the hallway and peered into the waiting room. No one was at the front door—she’d be able to see that, even without the porch light on. She went quickly to the switches and turned the porch light on, just to be sure. Nothing.
The sound came again, and this time she recognized it—someone was tapping at the back door. Well, the vandals would hardly knock on her door. She stepped into the kitchen and saw a dark figure outlined against the glass. Her heart jolted before she realized that it was a woman in Amish dress.
She went quickly across the kitchen to open the door.
“Fiona.” It was her grandmother. �
��I must talk with you, ja.”
“Come in.”
She caught her grandmother’s hands and drew her into the warm kitchen. Louise’s hands were cold in spite of the black woolen cape that covered her, and as she came into the light, Fiona was shocked by her expression. Her face was drawn and pale, her gray eyes red-rimmed.
“Please, sit down.” She hadn’t yet found the right thing to call her grandmother. She couldn’t say Louise—it seemed too presumptuous, but Grandmother was a title she didn’t want to use until she was invited to do so. “You’re welcome in my house.”
“I cannot stay long.” She took the chair Rachel usually sat in and pushed the cape back off her shoulders, revealing the now-familiar dark dress and apron. “I came because someone said that you were the one who saw.”
“Saw what?” She sat down opposite her grandmother, tension tightening her nerves.
“The people who broke into Ruth’s store.” Louise’s eyes were dark with apprehension, her face taut. “Emma heard that you were the one who saw that night. Who called the police. That is true?”
Apparently there was little point in trying to keep it secret now. Everything was out in the open, or would be soon. “Yes. I heard the intruders, and I called Ted.”
“And you saw.” Her grandmother reached across the table to grip Fiona’s hand. Her fingers seemed worn to the bone but still strong. “You saw them.”
“Not to identify,” she said quickly. “Just shadows, running away in the dark.”
“It is true?” Her voice held anguish. “One of the boys, the one who kept watch, he was Amish?”
Fiona’s heart twisted. Everything she’d feared about this was coming to pass, and there was no way to avoid it. She nodded.
Her grandmother took a shaky breath, and her face tightened until it seemed the wrinkled skin was a roadmap of all the grief of her lifetime. “Was it Levi?”
Pain ricocheted through her. “I couldn’t see, honestly. Only an outline of a boy in Amish clothing. It could have been anyone.” She tried not to think about what Ted had said, about how the circle of suspicion seemed to be narrowing around her young cousin.