by Marta Perry
A sinking sensation hit the pit of Amber’s stomach. Crossing to her kitchen table, she parked herself on one of the chairs. “What’s up?”
“We have room at the shelter now for the cat you are fostering.”
Oh, no. Amber knew this day was coming, but she still wasn’t prepared. “Jennifer, I don’t mind keeping Fluffy a little longer. I’ve been thinking about adopting him myself.”
“We’ve had an inquiry about him from our Web site. A family in Toledo believes he’s the cat they lost when they were on vacation. They’re driving down to see him tomorrow. I’m sorry, Amber. Is there any way you can bring him in today?”
Fluffy had a family searching for him. Adopting him was out of the question now. Amber fought back sudden, unexpected tears. What was wrong with her? She should be thrilled for her pet and the unknown family. “Sure. I can bring him in.”
Ten minutes later, Amber could barely see the front door for her tears. She didn’t want company but the persistent knocking would not stop. Setting her now-damp cat down off her lap, she wiped her swollen eyes with a paper towel and jerked open the door. “Yes?”
It was Phillip. Why did it have to be him?
“Amber, you’re crying. What’s wrong, honey?”
Sympathy was the last thing she needed. She started boohooing again.
Without another word, he stepped inside and took her in his arms. One hand cupped the back of her head and tucked her face against him. The other arm held her tight as she cried out her heartbreak. Softly, he swayed and rocked her as if she were a child. Over and over, he murmured that it would be okay.
No, it wouldn’t.
Her sobbing slowed to an occasional hiccup, but she didn’t move. She simply rested in the gentleness of his embrace, soaking in his masculine smell and warmth. He would be gone soon. When he was, she would remember this moment of kindness for a long, long time.
He leaned back to look down at her. “What happened?”
“It’s just the last straw.” She fought back a new flood of tears.
Slipping a finger under her chin, he raised her face to his. “What was the last straw?”
“The Humane Society wants Fluffy back. I have to take him there this afternoon.” Her lip started quivering.
“I’m so sorry. Can’t you adopt him?”
“He has a family already.”
“You’re his family.”
“No, the family that lost him wants him back. I knew I wouldn’t keep him but I didn’t know how attached I was going to get, either.”
That, in a nutshell, was what was wrong with her whole life. The things she loved were gone or going away. Her practice, unless Harold came back, her cat, this wonderful man—it wasn’t fair.
Moving out of his arms was the last thing she wanted to do. She forced herself to do it anyway. “What are you doing here, Phillip?”
“I need your help.”
Rubbing her cheeks with her palms, she cleared her throat and tried to look like a calm, reasonable woman instead of a wreck. “Sure. What do you need me to do?”
“I’m meeting with Elijah Knepp and some of his Church elders at five o’clock tonight. I’m sorry for the short notice. We were right about Grace having Crigler-Nijjar syndrome. I got confirmation this morning.”
“Oh, no. I hoped we were wrong.” Her heart ached for Grace and her parents. Returning Fluffy paled in comparison to such heartrending news.
“Elijah was at the hospital this morning. Sophie has been released. Both of them came to see the baby. When I explained what Grace would need to go home, they said no. Can you believe that?”
Putting her own troubles aside, she gestured toward the living room. “Have a seat. Let me wash my face and we can talk about this.”
“I’m sorry to bring this to you but I didn’t know who else could help.”
After Amber made herself presentable, she joined Phillip in the living room. Agitated, he paced back and forth in front of her bay window. Taking a seat in one of her chairs, she asked, “Can I get you something to drink? A soda? I have iced tea made.”
He stopped pacing and turned around. “No, I’m fine. Tell me why these people won’t allow electricity in their home to save their child’s life.”
How could she explain it to him? “Phillip, the Amish believe they are commanded to be separate from the world. Literally. Having power lines come to their home makes them connected to the world at large.”
“Grace will die without those lights.”
“We all die. The Amish understand that and accept it in a way that is foreign to many people. They know that Grace will be in a better place, a place without pain or want. They love their child as any parent loves their child, but they believe they will be with her in heaven. She will not be lost to them.”
He turned to stare out the window. “You were supposed to help. How can I argue against that when it is what I believe as a Christian?”
She rose and moved to his side. “I’m not suggesting we give up. I’m simply saying we have to work within their system.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, he asked, “How do we do that?”
“Do you know why my phone didn’t work the night Sophie gave birth?”
“Why?”
“Because Elijah slipped the battery out when I wasn’t looking and put it back in before I left.”
Looking stunned, he pressed the fingers of one hand against his temple. “Okay, two questions. Why? And how did he know how to do that?”
“The why was because Sophie didn’t want to deliver at the hospital. He knew how because his son uses a cell phone. The cell phone operates on a battery and is not connected to landlines so some Amish are accepting them.”
“That seems contradictory.”
“Welcome to the Amish world. What we need is a way to provide the power for Sophie’s light without electric lines to the house.” Amber started pacing.
“A generator?” he suggested.
“That may not work. The Knepps belong to an ultraconservative church district that doesn’t allow the use of gas.”
“How do the Amish feel about solar power?”
Returning to her chair, Amber sat forward and laced her fingers together around her knees. “Solar might be okay. It’s light from God to power the world. Maybe that’s the right angle. If their Church elders don’t agree to the lights, then Sophie and Elijah will have to abide by that decision or be shunned.”
“It doesn’t seem right.” He shook his head in frustration.
“For the Amish, it is not about the individual. It is about the good of the whole.”
“Then the good of the whole is the angle I need.”
“I’d say so.”
He sat in the armchair opposite her. “Let’s think this through.”
Folding her jean-clad legs under her, she stared at the floor. “My mind is a blank.”
“I’m sorry. I know you’re upset about your cat. I shouldn’t have come running to you.”
She waved aside his concern. “I don’t have to leave for a while yet. I’m glad you came.”
He rose and started pacing again, his brow furrowed in concentration. She didn’t envy him his task. His words today might mean the difference between life and death for little Grace.
Turning to her, he said, “I think I’ve got an idea. Listen to this.”
* * *
Phillip arrived at the home of Elijah Knepp at five minutes before five o’clock. On the porch, he saw eight straw hats hanging from pegs along the side of the house. He took a second to wonder how each man found his own hat when he left. They looked identical to him.
The elders were already waiting for him inside. Seated in a semicircle, the men all wore dark suits or pale blue shirts under dark vests. Most wore wire-rimmed glasses. All had gray beards that reached to the middle of their chests.
After the introductions were made, Phillip took a seat. “Thank you for meeting with me today.”
The ma
n on the end said, “It is a serious thing you are asking Elijah to do. It is forbidden.”
“I understand that. I do not ask lightly. Without these special lights, his daughter will die. As did his first daughters and in the same way.”
“It was Gottes Wille,” said one on the other end.
“He had need for my daughters to be with Him in Heaven,” Elijah replied, his voice heavy with sorrow.
His suffering was painful to watch. Phillip had no doubt he loved his child. “Grace has a terrible disease, but one that can be treated by the very first gift God gave the world. Genesis 1:3-4, ‘And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.’”
A stern-faced man in the middle said, “We know the Bible.”
“Forgive me. What I want to show you is that God has given us the knowledge to understand how His gift, His light can save Grace.”
Pulling a prism from his pocket, Phillip moved to where the sunlight was streaming in the south window. Holding the glass to the light, he threw a rainbow on the opposite wall.
“Light is made up of all these colors. The blue you see is the color that will make Grace better. Blue fluorescent lamps generate specific wavelengths of light that help break down the chemical in her blood, the bilirubin. As the light shines on her skin it changes the bilirubin into water-soluble components that are excreted.”
He put the prism back in his pocket. Did they understand or was he talking over their heads? “If Grace could stay outside all day, without clothes on, all year ’round, and let God’s light touch her skin, her jaundice would be controlled. You men know what it is to be outside all day summer and winter.”
“It would not be possible for a child to live like this.” The elder on the end stroked his beard.
Phillip knew he was reaching them. “That’s right. That’s why we take the blue light and bring it inside and let the sick children sleep under it at night. By using a solar panel, we can change sunlight into electricity to run the lights.”
“But this will not cure her,” Elijah said mournfully.
Phillip returned and sat on the edge of his seat. “No, but work is being done in the Amish community in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, to understand this disease and find a cure. It will be found, but not in time to help Grace. Right now, the only cure for her will be a liver transplant when she is old enough to have one.”
Elijah’s bishop, who had been sitting quietly among the other elders, spoke up at last. “You have given us much to consider. Thank you for coming.”
He was being dismissed. Deflated, Phillip tried one last thing. “Because this defective gene comes from both her father and mother, we know there will be more children with this disease in your community. We have already seen it in Elijah and Sophie’s families. When the children of those families grow up and marry, they will pass this gene along to their children and their grandchildren. More Amish children will be sick. It is within your power to save them by using the first gift God gave the world. How can you turn your backs on them?”
He held his breath as he waited for their reply.
* * *
Wilma was already at the clinic when Phillip arrived there early on Monday morning. To his surprise, Amber was there, too.
He knew he’d never tire of seeing her face. The thought that he’d be leaving in two weeks was as painful as a knife in his heart. How could he leave her? How could he not?
His new partners in Hawaii were eagerly awaiting his return. Their busy practice needed him there full-time. They had been generous in granting him a two-month leave, but he couldn’t ask them for more time.
Harold was progressing so well that he’d be able to return in a month or so. The clinic might have to close for a few weeks, but it would survive until Harold’s return. It might even prosper if Harold took on a partner of his own.
Phillip wondered if Amber would be as sorry to see him go as he was to leave.
“Well?” Wilma demanded. “What did they decide?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t heard.” He came into the room and parked himself on the corner of her desk. Amber moved to settle herself close beside him.
“When will you hear?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. Soon, I hope.”
Amber laid her hand on his arm. “What if they say no?”
“I won’t think like that.”
Smiling, she nodded. “God brought you here for this reason.”
He had such a short time left in Hope Springs. He was going to make the most of every minute with this wonderful woman. He had a lifetime worth of memories he needed to make.
“But what if they do say no?” Wilma asked.
“If they say no, I have a tough choice ahead of me. I’ll either have to release the child from the hospital to go home and die, or I can petition the court to have her removed from her parents’ custody. In that case, she would go to foster care, but at least she’d be getting the treatment she needs. I’m sure the Amish would take us to court over such a move. They might even win.”
Amber’s hand tightened in a gesture of sympathy. “What will you do?”
He gave her a soft smile. “I honestly don’t know.”
The clatter of hooves outside announced the arrival of a buggy. Phillip stood and waited with his heart pounding as Elijah Knepp walked in. The farmer pulled his hat from his head. “I must speak with you, Phillip White.”
“Please, come to my office.” Phillip led the way and when they were inside the room, he offered Elijah a chair. “Nee, I must get back to my fields. I wish to tell you the Church elders have come to a decision regarding Grace.”
“I see.” Phillip swallowed hard. “What was their decision?”
“Grace may have the lights.”
Phillip’s mouth dropped open in relief. Rounding the corner of his desk, he slapped the man on the back. “That’s great news.”
Elijah grinned. “Ja. It is goot. My Sophie is happy today.”
“I’m sure she must be. I don’t want you to worry. I’ll take care of getting the equipment ordered.”
“My Church will pay for what is needed.”
“Fine. As soon as it’s installed in your house, Grace can come home.” Phillip knew he was grinning like a fool, but he couldn’t stop.
At the door, Elijah said, “My thanks for your efforts to help my daughter and my wife. You have been a gift from Gott to my family.”
Pulling open the office door for him, Phillip said, “I’m glad I could help.”
Elijah looked down at his hat and then back to Phillip. “This cure they are looking for, you will help them find it?”
“I’m afraid I must leave that to more qualified doctors.” What he wouldn’t give to be part of that battle.
As the man walked away down the hall, Phillip stared after him. He did want to be a part of finding answers and cures, not waiting for others to do the work. He’d never be content to send grieving parents out his door without being able to give them hope.
Suddenly, he realized he’d been heading down the wrong career path.
Perhaps this had been God’s purpose in bringing him to Hope Springs. To show him where his true calling lay. Not in family medicine like this, but in genetic research.
Amber once said God used her sister’s tragedy to reveal her true calling. In his heart, Phillip knew he was being called, too. Not to follow in his father’s footsteps, but to forge a new path for himself.
I’m listening, Lord. I’m finally listening.
Excitement percolated through his body. He’d need a new degree. It would mean more years of study. He knew just where to make it happen. At his alma mater, the University of Hawaii at Manoa.
The door beside his office opened. Amber peeked out. “Well?”
Wilma came rushing down the hall. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”
Phillip stepped back into his office. The women crowded in. Hold
ing his arms wide, he grinned. “They said yes.”
Happy screams almost raised the roof. Phillip found himself the center of a group hug and joyful jumping.
Wilma broke away first. “I’ve got to call my husband. We’ve been praying about this all weekend.” She dashed out of the room and headed for her desk.
Shyly, Amber smiled at Phillip and placed both her hands on his chest. “You done good.”
“With your help.” His heart turned over and he pulled her close. She had become as important to him as breathing. How could he live without her?
He loved her. He loved her with all his heart. Would she leave this place and come with him to Hawaii if he told her that? He braced himself to find out.
The outer door of the office opened. Expecting Wilma, he looked over Amber’s head and his mouth dropped open.
Harold, leaning on crutches, stood in the doorway scowling at them. “Don’t let me interrupt. On second thought, what’s going on here?”
With a squeal of delight, Amber tore away from Phillip to embrace his grandfather. “Harold, I’m so glad you’re back. Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?”
Wilma squeezed through the door behind them shaking with excitement. She, too, threw her arms around the man. “God has answered my prayers. It hasn’t been the same without you.”
He hugged both women close. “I’m happy to be back. I don’t think I’ll ever leave this town again.”
“Good,” Wilma stated firmly, patting his chest. “Now, maybe things can get back to normal around here.”
Phillip stood back, allowing them their long-awaited reunion. Finally, his grandfather looked up and met Phillip’s gaze over the women’s heads. Harold said, “That’s my plan. I’m here to make sure that things get back to normal as soon as possible.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Amber walked slowly toward Phillip’s office the following morning. The door stood open.
Harold’s office, she corrected herself. It would take some time to get used to that again. She stopped in the doorway and watched the man she had come to love more than anyone in her life. Busy packing his few belongings, he didn’t see her.
The dreaded moment was here at last. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t. “You’re leaving?”