by Marta Perry
Eli was the worst sort of flirt. He’d taken Miriam to the movies, sat by her, and then tried to take liberties with another sister. It wasn’t right. It just wasn’t. Ruth didn’t know what was allowed in his community, but it wasn’t the way things were done here. As a baptized woman, Ruth should have known better than to go to the show with him at all. If she’d refused to attend the movie, if she’d protested, Mam might have kept her sisters home as well. But she hadn’t. Eli had charmed her into forgetting who and what he was and who and what she was.
Then, to make matters worse, Ruth had been a coward afterward. She hadn’t been brave enough to tell Miriam or her mother about the hand-holding incident. Instead, she’d acted as though everything was fine. She’d thanked Eli for taking them to the mall, and she’d told Mam about the movie and how tears had filled her eyes when the dove had returned to Noah with an olive leaf, proving that God’s mercy had saved them from the flood. She’d laughed with Susanna about the monkeys riding on the tiger’s back and the grumpy water buffalo. And all the time, in her heart, Ruth knew that she’d done something wrong…that she had committed a sin. The sin hadn’t been the actual holding of hands, but the jealousy she had felt over Eli’s attention to Miriam. And the pleasure she had taken, knowing he had held her hand for an instant, instead of Miriam’s.
Ruth felt her face burn with shame. She wished she’d had the opportunity to talk to her mother, but Mam was busy with plans for Saturday’s school picnic. They’d had to change the date so that the guests from the other churches could come. It would be a busy week when they added that on top of Sunday church at their house. For the picnic, each family with children in the school would bring food to share, but Mam always made extra dishes as well as treats for the children. There was so much to do this week that she just couldn’t trouble Mam with her problems, especially those of her own making.
The traffic light changed; a truck horn blew, and Miriam flicked the leathers over Blackie’s back. The horse trotted briskly through the busy intersection. Ahead were the railroad tracks. Spence’s was only a few blocks away, and once they reached their stand, they might not get an opportunity to talk in private. Ruth opened her mouth, but before she could get a word out, Miriam asked. “All right. What’s the matter? Did you catch Susanna’s toothache?”
“What?”
Miriam chuckled. “You’re as sour as one of Grossmama’s pickles this morning.”
“Am I?”
“Ya. You are.” Miriam’s brown eyes took on a concerned expression.
Ruth flushed an even brighter shade of red. Had Miriam seen Eli take her hand? Her pulse raced. “I’m not sure what we did Sunday was right.”
Miriam laughed. “I thought so. You’re feeling guilty about the show, aren’t you? I thought it was wonderful. You can’t tell me that you didn’t have a good time.”
“Movies are worldly. Not Plain.”
“The story of Noah is from the Bible. I liked it. I’ll go see it again, if I can convince Eli to take me.”
“That’s what I…” Ruth felt awkward. How could she say this? “Miriam, that’s what I’ve been thinking about. I know you like Eli, but I’m afraid he isn’t right for you,” she blurted. “He…he’s fast.”
Miriam chuckled as the buggy bumped over the tracks. “He’s not fast. He’s just different from all the boys we know—the boys we’ve grown up with, and he’s good-looking. That’s why you’re attracted to him.” She glanced at Ruth. “You think he’s cute, don’t you?”
Ruth swallowed hard. “I’m not attracted to him. But he has a handsome face,” she conceded.
“And nice shoulders.” Miriam gave her a mischievous look. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how wide his shoulders are. And he has nice hands.”
More than that, Ruth thought. From the crown of his head to the soles of his feet, Eli was perfect. Just seeing him step into a room made her tongue stick to the roof of her mouth and her stomach do cartwheels. But good looks and a beautiful body were not what mattered most in choosing a husband. For her sister. What was important was the way a person was inside and if he shared your faith. An Amish marriage was about family and community and living according to God’s word.
“Miriam, you’re not listening to me. I’m trying to tell you that he may not be an appropriate beau for you.”
Miriam laughed. “He’s not my beau.”
“But it looks like he’s courting you. People think he is. And Eli isn’t serious,” Ruth insisted. “You can’t trust him.”
Miriam didn’t say anything. She just kept sitting there with that silly smile on her face.
This wasn’t going well at all. As much as Ruth loved Miriam, she could be so annoying, at times. She lowered her gaze, the guilt washing over her again. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
Another buggy was stopped ahead of them at the next light. Their cousin Dorcas leaned out of the carriage. “Hey,” she called.
They waved back. “Do you think Dorcas is going to buy a pie at the market for tomorrow?” Miriam asked. “That might be smart if she wants to share pie with a boy on Saturday. The ones she bakes are even worse than yours.” Miriam laughed, tickled with herself.
“I don’t want to talk about Dorcas or about pies.” Ruth clasped her hands together and hurried to confess what she’d done before she lost her nerve. “Miriam, listen to me. It was wrong, what Eli did,” she finished. “He never should have tried to hold my hand when he was there with you.”
“He held your hand?” Miriam cried excitedly.
“And I never should have let him. I’m so sorry, Miriam. It was wrong of me, I know, and—”
“That’s what you’ve been so worried about for two days? Because Eli held your hand at the movies?” Miriam guided the horse around a produce truck that was double-parked in the street. Her voice was laced with amusement. “You should have said something. You’ve upset yourself for nothing. Eli isn’t my boyfriend. He doesn’t like me that way and I don’t like him. I’m glad he held your hand.”
“But—”
“When I find a boy I want to be with, I’ll let him hold my hand. I might even let him kiss me. Once. After he asks me to be his wife, when I know he’s serious. But before I gave him my answer.” She looked at Ruth with great sincerity on her pretty face. “What if he’s a bad kisser? Would you want a husband who was a bad kisser?”
Ruth was shocked. And relieved. Miriam didn’t like Eli. She wasn’t interested in him as a beau. “That’s not the way to choose a husband, Miriam! You shouldn’t be talking…even thinking about kissing.”
“I think about kissing a lot,” Miriam babbled on, not seeming to realize what a monumental moment this was for Ruth. If Miriam didn’t like Eli, if he wasn’t interested in Miriam, did that mean—
“What about Uncle Reuben?” Miriam continued with a giggle. “With that beard. It’s so long and pointy. What kind of kisser do you think he is?”
“Miriam!”
Her sister grinned. “I’m just teasing you.”
“Sometimes I wonder about you.”
“Well, it’s true. I will kiss my betrothed before we’re married, and I won’t feel guilty about it.”
“Mam would be shocked if she heard you talk like that.”
“Would she? For a happy marriage, you have to have love between a man and a woman. Then the tears and the laughter and the making of the children that follow will be right and good.”
“I can’t believe I misunderstood what was going on between you and Eli. I was so afraid you’d be upset with me, but you have to admit it would have been wrong to let Eli hold my hand if he was courting you.”
“Ya, you’re right. But if we were walking out together, and he would do such a thing, better for me to know before the wedding than after.” Miriam guided Blackie off the street onto the gravel lane that ran behind the auction house.
“And you’re sure Eli doesn’t like you?” Ruth said.
“I think Eli is
a special person. But he’s not the one for me and I’m not the one for him. I think he’s already set his sights on someone else. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun with him.”
“People will think—”
“So long as Mam knows I’m doing right, so long as my family knows, I don’t care about anyone else. Besides, I’m rumspringa. I plan to have some fun.” She giggled. “But once I join the church, I’ll be as upright as Johanna.”
And they both laughed at the thought. Johanna was now the ideal Amish mother and wife, but during her running around, their older sister had given Mam more than one sleepless night and more than one gray hair.
“Do you know what she said yesterday?” Miriam asked. “Johanna. About going to the picture show? She said that if she’d known we were going, she would have brought the baby and Jonah to Mam and come with us.”
“Her husband would never have permitted it.”
“Maybe not, but you know how headstrong she is.” Miriam’s eyes sparkled. “She takes after Mam.”
“Mam?”
“Ya,” Miriam answered. “Johanna told me that when Mam was a teenager, she used to go to the movies all the time with her English girlfriends.”
“Do you think that’s why she let us go?”
“Maybe she just wanted us to see for ourselves.” Blackie trotted across the lot and came to a halt behind their usual table. “Good boy,” Miriam said.
“Then I’m glad I went.” Ruth got down from the buggy. “But I wouldn’t have wanted to see a show that had shooting or bad language.”
“Me, either.” Miriam removed Blackie’s bridle and slipped a halter over his head before tying him to a tree. They were lucky to have a table in the shade.
Feeling as if a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders, Ruth began to remove the boxes of strawberries. She had no idea how she felt about Eli or the hand-holding, now that she knew she hadn’t interfered in Miriam’s courting. At least she knew she hadn’t hurt her sister. She had only the first tray out when a regular customer stopped and bought two dozen eggs and two quarts of berries. As Ruth counted out the change, she realized that they were short of dollar bills. “I’ll go inside to the market,” she offered. “As soon as we finish unloading.”
“Need some help?”
Ruth turned to see Eli standing behind her.
She glanced at Miriam in confusion. He was the last person she wanted to see today. What should she say to him? She didn’t look at him; her hands trembled as she tucked the change into the little cloth pouch they kept it in. “Shouldn’t you be at the shop?” she blurted.
“Roman had some refinished furniture to be auctioned off today. I brought it in, and I’ll wait to collect his money.” Eli pulled eggs from under the buggy seat and carried them to the table.
“Good,” Miriam said, plucking the money bag from Ruth’s hand. “Since Eli’s here to help, I’ll go get that change.”
“Don’t go,” Ruth said. “Eli’s not…” But her sister was already walking away. Ruth glanced at Eli, and he grinned back at her.
“Guess you’re stuck with me.”
“I don’t need any help.” She tried hard not to look into his eyes.
A tattooed woman with long white-blond hair and short shorts waved her hand at Ruth. “Miss! Can I get some service here? Are these local strawberries?”
“Picked this morning,” Eli assured her. Flashing a big smile, he grabbed up a plastic bag and went to the table. “You won’t find any fresher. Or sweeter. How many quarts would you like?”
A bald man with a little dog on a leash approached the table. Ruth sold him radishes, lettuce and a dozen eggs. Two more customers stopped, and Eli went back to the buggy to bring more strawberries as Ruth waited on them. Business was brisk for ten minutes, and Ruth would have run short of change, but Eli changed a twenty for her with small bills from his pocket.
“Are you thirsty?” he asked when there was a break. “Would you like a soda pop?”
She shook her head. “I’m not thirsty.”
He was standing so close that his gaze made her nervous…made her remember when he’d tried to hold her hand. She felt herself blush. “Thank you for your help. I’m sure you have things to do. There’s no need for you—”
“I like helping you. I think we make a good pair, don’t you? Look, half your berries are gone already. You’ll be sold out before noon.” He grinned. “Unless you want to stick around and let me buy you lunch.”
She shook her head adamantly. “No. Miriam and I have to go home. We have to finish chores and start supper. There’s a work bee tonight at Aunt Martha’s.”
“I know. The men are going. We’re repairing Reuben’s windmill.”
Ruth tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t sound stupid but she couldn’t think of anything. She straightened the rows of quarts of berries.
Eli leaned against the table and crossed his arms over his chest; he’d pushed up his sleeves so his muscular forearms flexed. “Are you baking a pie for the school picnic?”
“I suppose.”
His blue eyes danced with mischief. “Do you make good pies?”
“Not very good,” she admitted. She couldn’t help smiling. “Awful, as a matter of fact.”
An English woman pushing a baby stroller approached. “Are your eggs fresh?” she asked Eli.
“Still warm from the hen,” he quipped.
Ruth nibbled her lower lip. How could he talk to the English so easily? She felt a twinge of uneasiness and glanced up to see Aunt Martha glaring at her from her stand across the way.
“How much are your berries?” the woman customer asked, ignoring the sign. “That other stand usually has them cheaper.”
“They do sell them cheaper,” Eli said. “But ours are larger and haven’t been sitting in a refrigerator since last week.” He winked at Ruth, completely embarrassing her. But a part of her liked it.
The woman nodded and picked up two quarts.
Most of Aunt Martha’s strawberries were still on her table. She wouldn’t be pleased if Ruth sold out first. “Maybe I should go and see if Miriam’s all right,” Ruth suggested when the lady pushed her stroller away, carrying the strawberries.
“I’m sure she’s fine. You can’t leave me. More people may come, and then it will take both of us. The English, they hate to wait.” He pushed his wide-brimmed hat a little higher and smiled at her. “After all, this is your stand. You wouldn’t want to leave me to do all the work, would you? Besides, I make a mistake and then they’d be buying from your aunt Martha next time.” He rolled his eyes.
Ruth couldn’t help herself. She smiled back.
* * *
“It took forever, and by the time I got back, Eli and Ruth had sold all the strawberries,” Miriam chattered. “Can you believe that?” She dropped the handle of the red wagon. “Your turn, Ruth. This is halfway.”
The evening was so nice that Miriam had suggested the five of them walk to Aunt Martha’s. The shortest way wasn’t by the road but through the apple orchard, down the woods trail and across Uncle Reuben’s meadow.
“All them strawberries,” Susanna echoed. She was wearing a new robin’s-egg-blue dress tonight and was so pleased with herself that she kept hopping from one foot to the other.
“What Miriam’s not telling you is that she abandoned me,” Ruth teased. With a mock sigh, she picked up the handle of the child’s high-sided wagon. She would need to take care not to turn it over in the sandy lane and spill the treats they were bringing to share. As usual, Anna had used her time wisely, and the cookies and molasses doughnuts had already been made when they got home from the sale. The wooden wagon was even heavier to pull this evening because Mam had insisted on bringing three pounds of butter, a gallon of buttermilk and four quarts of strawberries. What Aunt Martha needed with more strawberries, Ruth didn’t know, but it was one of those instances when it was easier to go along with Mam than to argue with her.
“Can’
t you walk faster?” Anna asked. “We’ll be late for the prayer.”
“Go on ahead,” Ruth said. “Aunt Martha will be put out if she has to wait.” She didn’t mind pulling the wagon. Anna had done all the baking today, and it was a beautiful night for a walk. Birds were singing in the apple trees; frogs were croaking, and the air smelled sweetly of honeysuckle. “If I’m late, I’ll just sneak in the back.”
“Maybe we should go ahead,” Mam agreed. She stopped beneath the spreading branches of an apple tree. “But I have something I need to talk to you about first, girls. It’s Irwin. Samuel said that the board members have been getting complaints from parents. Some of the other children are saying Irwin started the fire at the schoolhouse. If anyone brings it up tonight, say nothing that will contribute to the gossip.”
“What a terrible thing to accuse him of,” Anna exclaimed.
Miriam considered the accusation. “The poor boy is ornery, but setting the school on fire?”
Ruth looked at her sisters, then at Mam. She wished she could tell Miriam and Anna about seeing Irwin running from the school after the fire broke out, but she’d promised Mam not to tell anyone. As time passed, as difficult as it was to believe that the boy would do such a terrible thing, there were no other suspects, and it seemed as though he might be guilty. And if he was, she didn’t know what would happen. Someone who started fires was dangerous. She hoped that no one would bring in the English police. No matter how serious, it was better to keep Amish trouble in the community.
“I’m not ready to give up on Irwin,” Mam said. “I don’t want any of you to, either. I talked to Lydia today and I’ve arranged for Irwin to come to our place early before school and again in the afternoons to help with the milking and outside chores.”
“You want Irwin near our cows?” Miriam asked. “After he let them into the corn?”
“Mam, I don’t think—” Anna began.
“It’s settled, girls. It will be good to have a man around the farm again.” Mam chuckled. “Even a beanpole of a boy, badly in need of fattening up.”