by Toshia Slade
Not long after leaving the bar, we’re pulling up in front of my house. I climb out, not waiting for Brandon, and make my way to the front door. After unlocking the door, I go to step inside when Brandon's hand on my arm stops me.
“Gabby, I’m going to head on home. You and I can get some rest.” He smiles big showing his teeth, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
A stab of disappointment hits me in the chest. I need Brandon. I need him to try to take the images of Cam from my mind, the feel of him pressed up against me—Enough! “Oh, okay. I’ll see you Sunday? I work tomorrow.” I wrap my arms around his neck.
“I should be free, but I’ll let you know something tomorrow.” He kisses my lips. “Night, babe. Talk to you later.” He turns and heads for his car.
What the hell? Why is he in such a rush to leave?
“Night,” I whisper to myself.
I move quietly through the house, knowing that Tiff is already asleep. She had to work today after class, so I know she’s worn out. Plus, I’m not sure how I feel about everything that happened tonight and really don’t want to relive what happened on the dance floor. I need time before I talk to her and get her input and thoughts on the situation.
Once in my room I strip out of my clothes, leaving on my panties and slip on a comfy t-shirt. Climbing in my bed, I curl up on my side and hug a pillow to my chest.
My thoughts go back to Cam. I thought I was doing so good, moving on. I stopped thinking about him constantly and the hurt started to ease. It helped that I hadn’t seen much of him since I started seeing Brandon. Brandon helps a lot too, being with him I don’t have much time to think.
Why did Cam have to kiss me? All of the years spent wanting him to kiss me, and when I’ve finally moved on and I’m trying to get him out of my heart and mind, he comes pushing his way back in.
Even back when I first met Cam, he affected me as if no one ever has. Is he always going to have this hold on me? Am I ever going to be able to break the chains he has wrapped around my heart?
I wish Brandon were here to hold me and make me forget. Take the memory of Cam’s lips and hands on me. A tear falls down my cheek. Wiping it away, I bury my head in my pillow and scream.
“FUCKING, CAMRON TAYLOR!”
Chapter Nine
*Cam*
I wake up with a pounding headache and the previous night comes flooding back. Oh, shit! I kissed Gabby, and then she brought up the douchebag, so I went and found a willing girl. Sara. She’s been on me for weeks, since I first went into the bar, and I’ve avoided all her advances, until last night. Sighing, I scrub my face with my hands.
Maybe Josh is right. I need to grow the fuck up. This shit isn’t working. I’m miserable. Gabby isn’t in my life at all now. If I truly love her, then why can’t I make a relationship work? I need to get my shit together and get my girl. That’s what Gabby is and always will be, MY GIRL! I was just too fucking stupid and scared to do anything about it. I know that asshole she calls ‘boyfriend’ is up to something. I just hope he doesn’t hurt her too bad. He’ll show his true colors, and then I’ll swoop in and save the day. Nobody will love and treat her the way that I can. Why didn’t I see it sooner?
Climbing out of bed, I head to the shower, hitting play on my iPod. Love and Theft’s “Thinking of You” comes on.
“You all got that right.” Although, I know what it’s like to kiss Gabby, and its fuckin’ amazing.
After taking a shower and dressing, I head into the kitchen to find something to eat and soak up the half bottle of Jack I drank last night. Josh is sitting at the island eating a sandwich.
“Cam, we need to talk.”
I don’t say anything in response. I just continue pulling out everything to make a sandwich too.
“I’m sick of you going out, getting trashed, and then either calling me to come get you or you bringing back a different girl each night to fuck. This shit is going to blow up in your face. I know why you’re doing it and it’s stupid. You chose to close the door on that.”
“I know. Some stuff happened last night and it made me realize that I need to get my shit together. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass the past month, and I’m ending the stupid shit. But listen, Gabby and Brandon were at the bar last night and something is up.”
Before I can finish Josh jumps up, knocking the stool he was sitting on over. “What kind of shit?”
“Damn, dude. Calm down for a minute.” I hold my hands up and mumble, “Brandon’s one dumb fucker.”
“What the fuck did you say?” He’s balling his fist and a vain is pulsing in his neck.
“Sit, calm the fuck down, and listen. I think he’s cheating on her or doing some shit behind her back. He kept taking off and leaving her last night. Not too sure what was going on, but I spent more time with her than he did. I even kissed her before—”
Josh comes flying across the island and knocks me right in the jaw with a right hook. I stumble backwards, the counter catching my ass, keeping me from kissing the floor. “You fucking kissed my sister? What did I tell you, Cam? You had your chance!” His face is red with anger, eye twitching.
“What the fuck, Josh? Really, you’re going to punch me over kissing your sister?” I say, wiping the blood off my split lip.
“She’s in a relationship, even if he’s a fucking prick. You do not have that right, Cam. You gave it up. I told you this shit would happen.” He’s in my face, jabbing his finger in my chest. “I warned you. Goddammit. I knew this shit would happen.”
Guilt eats at me again. Does he not want me with Gabby now? Panic starts to set in. What am I going to do if he’s against this? I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but now that I know, I will not give her up.
“I know and I’m a fucking idiot, alright?” I shrug him off and walk around to the other side of the island. I sit on a stool, resting my elbows on the counter and my head in my hands. “Please don’t hit me again. Just hear me out.” I raise my head and look at Josh. He’s standing with his back to the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen, facing me. He nods his head giving me the go ahead to go on and he’ll listen. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“Last night, when I saw Gabby sitting at the table by herself, I thought it would be a good time to ask her why she’s been avoiding me. Well, some things were said and I felt like I had been punched in the balls. I know, I know, all my fault.” I hold up my hand to cut him off when he starts to say something. “Anyways, asshole took off and left her again, on the dance floor. I was drunk, and I went up and started dancing with her. I kissed her, and she shoved me away and called me an asshole.”
“You deserved it.” Josh’s knuckles are white from gripping the counter. It looks like he wants to punch me again.
“Yeah, I did.” I bow my head and run my hands through my hair. “But, having her in my arms, like that. It made me realized how much I do feel for her, Josh. I know I fucked up. I’m going to get my shit together and I’m going to get my girl. I need to know that you’re going to be okay with it. You and Gabby both mean so much to me. I love her, Josh. This past month has been fucking hell. Watching her with Brandon, I’ve realized that no one will treat her like she needs to be treated.” I look him straight in the eyes so he can see how serious I am. “Except me.”
“What are you going to do if you get scared again, Cam?” Josh raises a brow.
“I’m not. Not having Gabby in my life at all is my biggest fear. I’ve realized that now. She’s it for me. Nothing on this earth compares to having her in my arms, her lips —” Holding my hands up, “okay, I won’t go there, but lesson learned. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her. If she’ll let me.”
“You better not fuck up, Cam. I’ll do more than bust your lip if you hurt her again.” Josh jabs his finger in my direction.
“If I hurt her you can beat the shit out of me.”
“Okay then.” He nods his head in agreement. Thank Christ. “Now, what the fuck i
s this shit about Brandon leaving her?”
Chapter Ten
*Gabby*
Saturday morning I wake up to my phone blaring. I roll over, grab it from my nightstand, and glance at the screen. Josh Calling.
“Morning, Sunshine!” Glancing at the clock I see that it’s already a little after eight.
“What are you doing?” I cover a yawn with my hand and stretch out, groaning.
“Are you still in bed, lazy ass?” I hear the smile in his voice.
“My alarm was getting ready to go off. I have to be at work by nine.”
“Well, I was just calling to make sure you and Tiff are still coming to the Halloween party next weekend. You’re coming, right?”
“Are you all doing it on Friday or Saturday?” I wonder how this is going to play out after last night. I hope Cam keeps his mouth shut about it. I don’t want anyone finding out. The more people that know, the better the chance there is of Brandon finding out. And, if I know my brother, he will flip his shit, so maybe that’s enough for Cam to keep his lips sealed.
“We’re doing it Saturday, but do you think you can come stay Friday, or come early to help out?”
“I’ll talk to Tiff, but we should be able to come out on Friday. I’ll text you when I find out for sure.”
Stay under the same roof as Cam, can I do that? Pull up your big girl panties, Gabby. You need to act like it didn’t happen. I can never say no to Josh either.
“Alright Gabs, have a good day. Love you, brat.”
“Love you too, Joshy-Poo.” I hang up giggling to his grumbles. I think he secretly loves it. Even though I’m three years younger, he’s always spent time with me and made sure I felt loved and included. He didn’t have to take his younger sister along, but he always did. I think back to right after Josh got his license.
Josh came walking in my room with a huge grin on his face. “Throw on some old clothes, were going for a ‘drive’. Text Tiff and tell her we’re coming to pick her up.” He emphasized the word drive and winked at me.
“What are we really doing?” I whispered while sending Tiff a text, telling her to get ready.
“We’re going to play in the creek. Cam’s already downstairs.”
I threw on some old shorts and a tank top, slipping on flip-flops.
That was the day that I really fell for Cam.
We pulled up to this pretty spot down on the creek. On the right, there was a beautiful little water fall and up ahead was an open field. It had rained that day, so it was nothing but mud. Cam picked up a handful and slung it my way, hitting me in the chest and splattering all over my face.
“No, you did not!” I yell, swooping down and grabbing both hands full of mud. I took off running, chasing after him. Once I got close enough I jumped up on his back and smacked both hands down on the top of his head, and then ran my hands down his face, ending on his chest, till I could reach no further.
“You little brat!” He swung me around and dropped down to the ground, laying me in the mud. I started struggling; trying to make my escape, knowing what was coming next.
With no hope of getting away, I resorted to the one thing I knew always worked. Begging. “Please, Cam, don’t. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”
“Oh, Thumper. Begging isn’t going to get you out of it this time.” A thousand butterflies were released in my stomach at the feel of him lying on top of me and his warm breath in my ear.
After each of us was covered in mud from the other, we headed to the creek and tried to drown each other. I spent most of the day in Cam’s arms. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t a lover’s embrace, just being there, stole my breath and my heart.
I shake my head and clear the memories away.
I pull myself out of bed to start getting ready for work. Before heading into the shower, I send Brandon a quick text.
ME: HEY JOSH JUST CALLED, U STILL GOING WITH ME FOR H-PARTY? NEXT SAT! XX
Coming out of the bathroom, Tiff yells from the other room. “You almost dressed, hooker? We have to leave in fifteen minutes!”
“Just have to throw on some clothes and brush my hair.” I run around my room throwing clothes on as I go. I do this every time, but I would rather have that extra time to sleep. I’ve always been more tomboy than girly-girl.
Ten minutes later, we’re in Tiff’s car heading to work.
“Josh called. You still want to go to the Halloween party Saturday?”
“Yes! We need to go costume shopping. How about tonight when we get off?”
“Sounds good.” I play with my seatbelt, not feeling the same excitement that she is over the upcoming party.
“Hey, what’s up, buttercup? Something is bothering you.”
I blow out a breath. I’m still no closer to figuring out what it all meant, how I truly feel, and I need my best friend’s thoughts. “Cam kissed me last night” I blurt out.
“WHAT?” Tiff slams on the breaks and a horn blares behind us.
“Oh my god! Are you trying to kill us?” I slam my hands on the dash, heart racing, and stomach in my throat. “Drive right and I’ll tell you about it.” I shoot her a death glare.
“Sorry, just wasn’t expecting that.” Her eyes are round with shock.
“Yeah, me neither,” I mumble under my breath. “Anyways, Brandon and I went out for drinks and dancing. Well, Brandon kept disappearing. I was on the dance floor and Cam came up and started dancing with me and saying all this stuff.” My face and body heat thinking about the things he whispered in my ear. “He asked me if Brandon kissed me like this, and the next thing I know he was kissing me.”
“Holy shit! What the fuck was he thinking? How was it? Did you cream your panties?”
“Tiff! Are you serious?” My face burns with embarrassment. I should have known she’d say something crude. That’s her, but her crass words still managed to floor me.
“What? How can you not? This is a guy you’ve been hot for…for ten years. Ten years, Gabby!”
“Yes. Okay, is that want you wanted to hear? My body was on fire, but I didn’t want it to be! He had his chance, Tiff. He didn’t want me. He loves me, but we can never be together. What the hell is that anyway? He made his choice so he needs to leave me alone. I’m with Brandon.”
“You’re right. Total asshole.” She looks over with a shit-eating grin on her face.
I wanna knock it off, but we both know that was the best kiss of my life. I hate the butterflies that flood me every time I think about the kiss, and then the guilt that soon follows. I shouldn’t have done that to Brandon and I need to figure out what I’m going to do soon. It isn’t fair to Brandon if I’m in love with someone else. I keep saying I need more time, but I’m really starting to wonder if any amount of time is going to help.
“So where did Brandon keep running off to?”
“I have no clue. He said the beer was running through him and there was a line in the men’s room, but I don’t know. I feel like he was hiding something. He just acted weird last night. Then, it seemed like he couldn’t leave fast enough last night when he dropped me off.”
“That’s weird. Sounds fishy to me. If he cheats on you I will rip his dick off and feed it to him.”
“Thanks, Tiff.” If there is one thing I can always count on, it’s her having my back. “I was going to question him, but I felt guilty about Cam kissing me, so I kept my mouth shut.” I pick at the pink polish on my nails.
“Cam kissed you, right?” At my nod, she goes on. “So, you did nothing wrong. He kissed you.” I open my mouth to talk and she cuts me off, “so what if you kissed him back? Nobody has to know.”
“But...”
“Are you planning on kissing him again?” She raises her brow and I see the corner of her mouth twitching, wanting to form a smile. She knows damn well if he kissed me again I wouldn’t be able to resist, and I’d kiss him right back.
“NO!” It’s kind of the truth. I didn’t plan to kiss him the first time either. I’m just not
strong enough to push him away.
“Okay then.” She shuts the car off and we climb out.
“Oh yeah, Josh wants us to come stay Friday night to help them decorate for the party.” After the talk with Tiff, I’m even more nervous about staying under the same roof as Cam.
“I’m free. We can head over when we get off work.”
“Great.” I shoot Josh a quick text and let him know we’ll be there Friday to help. I hope Cam can keep his delicious lips to himself. No, not delicious. He’s an asshole, remember? You’re with Brandon!
“Lord help me, I’m a freaking mess,” I whisper to myself and head in for my shift.
Chapter Eleven
*Cam*
I’m jostled awake from my nap by someone beating on my bedroom door.
“Get up, asshole, we have shopping to do.”
“I’m up,” I grumble, climbing out of bed. At least the headache is gone and I don’t feel like a marching band is playing in my skull anymore.
Glancing at the clock, I see that it’s already five. After I finished my conversation with Josh, I ate, and crawled back in bed to sleep off the hangover.
I slip on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and pull on my boots.
“Alright, where all do we have to go?” Coming down the hall into the living room, I see Josh sitting on the couch.
“We can go to the party store, grab the decorations, and pick out our costumes. Then Friday, on my way home, I’ll run by the grocery store and pick up the snacks and food. Gabby and Tiff are going to come over and stay the night to help us set up for Saturday. You better keep your hands to yourself too.” He points his finger at me and gives me that don’t-fuck-this-up look.
“Got it.” I raise my hands in surrender. It’ll be hell having her that close to my bed, knowing what she feels like pressed against me. My cock twitches and I shake my head to clear the thoughts. “We ready?” I need to get out of here and get my mind as far away from Gabby and my bed as I can— -before Josh beats my ass when he sees my reaction to Gabby staying here.