by R E Gauthier
“I don’t know she’s not shaking any longer, we’ll have Doc look at her and see what he thinks. Text me if Miss Harrington can shed any light on why Miranda fainted.” Nikki left and she called Doc while she watched the author sleep quietly in her bed.
Miranda woke up in a strange room wearing her underwear and a t-shirt. It’s the second time in a short few days that she found herself unclothed and didn’t know how she got in that state. Her mind searched for an explanation and she couldn’t recall remembering the reason why or how she could be in this state once again. The pillow she lay on smelled of shampoo and another scent she had recognized as uniquely being Agent MacGregor. I must be in her bed but why? She could hear muffled voices on the other side of the door and tried to discern who they belong to; one definitely sounded like Agent Kelsey MacGregor’s.
What had happened? She racked her brain for an explanation of why she lay on the agent’s bed and unclothed. Nothing came to mind but then she remembered the questioning and being really upset and a wave of nausea hit her, she moaned loudly before she bounded for the open bathroom door.
Kelsey began telling Doc about what happened with Miranda during the questioning; when she heard movement and then the patter of running feet in the next room.
“It would appear our author is awake,” she said as the sound of loud retching made her dash for the room. Never one to care for a sick person, she found herself inside the bathroom holding the author as she tried weakly to vomit but could not.
“I’ve got you.” She tried to comfort the woman in her arms but for the life of her she had no idea why she now held Miranda in her lap over the porcelain bowl.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what is wrong with me.” The author mumbled and then she retched again before weakly slumping forward.
If it were not for her strong hold on her she was certain the small woman would have cracked her head on the toilet’s edge. Aware that Doc had come into the room and stood in the doorway, she looked up.
“Does she feel like she has a fever? She could have stomach flu or something that is making her weak and sick. That could be why she fainted.”
“No she feels cold, really cold and she is shivering “Shivering could still mean she has a fever, you may want to make sure you wash your hand, you don’t want to get sick.”
“I rarely get sick Doc and when I do it’s barely a sniffle, can’t even remember the last time I had the flu, likely was when I was a child.”
Miranda now lay quietly in her arms and then she felt the headache return. What’s with this headache? Maybe I’m coming down with something after all.
“I’m going to get her back into the bed. Grab that waste basket for me Doc.”
The author didn’t say a word and she thought she had fallen asleep in her arms until she heard a soft moan. She carried her back to the bed after grabbing a wet facecloth
With the petite woman resting quietly on the bed with the waste basket next to her, Kelsey sat down on a chair she pulled close to the bed. She wiped the ashen face with the wet cloth. The author’s eyes opened and looked at her and then she watched them look heavy before they fell closed again. The author seemed to fall back into a deep slumber so the two agents left the room so their conversation wouldn’t disturb her rest.
“Doc do you think she might be exhibiting signs of shock? I mean she had been fine until we asked her about that night and how Miss Montgomery died, she reacted so severely.” Kelsey had once seen these same symptoms in a person who had been told their parents were dead, so she thought somehow Miranda maybe experiencing delayed shock from learning Katherine Montgomery had been killed.
“Well my first thoughts while you were describing Miss Gauthier’s demeanor during the questioning were the same as your own. The only problem I have is that the rapid changes in her behavior points more towards repressed memories or even a more severe case of dissociation from a very traumatic event. You said she acted fine and relaxed but once you mentioned Kate and that night she changed.”
“Yes she started to sweat although the room was cool then her eyes got this distant look, her face went white and then ashen before she fainted.”
Doc looked back at the now resting woman in the bed. “I would like her to rest but then I want to try something on her. It is kind of a litmus test we psychologists like to use to determine PTSD.”
“So, you think she might be suffering from PTSD? But I thought that...oh never mind. She said she can’t remember that night so isn’t it more likely she just has some sort of traumatic memory loss? Do you think you could help her Doc? Can you help her remember what she has forgotten?”
“Listen, I am not sure I can do that. It would depend on how sound her mind is and whether we can make her feel safe. Some victims of trauma never fully remember the events that caused the loss of a memory and she could be a repeat sufferer. I mean she could have had trauma in her childhood or early adulthood that is contributing to a more recent trauma and they are manifesting in way that makes her brain repress the memories that could hurt her mentally. The brain is a powerful organ.”
“Doc, Nikki just texted me that Miranda’s literary agent said she hasn’t had blackouts or fainted that she knows of. She told Nikki that Mir...Miss Gauthier told her she has had severe headaches and nightmares. Nikki said that Jess has refrained from talking about Miss Montgomery with Miranda so she doesn’t upset her. These headaches could they be a cue to what s going on with her?”
“It does sound as though she may have experienced an event that night that caused these symptoms but I won’t know for certain until I am able to sit and talk with her and search for triggers myself. Have you thought about the possibility that she may not have seen the murderer but she could in fact BE the murderer?” Doc asked while flipping through his Smartphone for something.
Not the first time Kelsey had to contend with that possibility because she too had been fighting with her baser FBI training for a reason why she did not believe the author is their killer. There were glaringly obvious facts that she had seen the smaller woman throw not one but two much larger people, herself included, into the pool the other night and in addition had known all four of the victims and had contact with them before they were murdered. She had it drilled into her head that means, motive and opportunity were the three summations to proving a person or persons was guilty of a crime. The evidence in the case would then help to strengthen the case against them. She knew that Miranda Gauthier had the means and the opportunity to commit at least three of the murders because she lived in the same building or with those victims. While her head was saying she should follow the evidence her heart was saying Miranda Gauthier wasn’t their killer. We just have to prove it now.
“I can’t tell you why but she’s not our killer.”
“Mack you said she sobbed and said sorry to Miss Montgomery for something.”
“I know Doc but I just know she couldn’t have done it but I think she saw who did,” she said taking out her phone and texting Nikki.
She excused herself when her phone rang and left her room. “I hope you are not still in the briefing.”
“No I called a break and stepped out as soon as I got your text, what’s up?”
“Well Doc and I are just sitting here discussing on how we will proceed in questioning Miranda and I wanted to see what headway, if any, we have had during the briefing.”
“Okay so the Summit Investigators have spoken to Mrs. Arlene Collins back from her holidays and she has given us a place to start. It appears that the three women were part of a group of four elitist girls in the school. They were known for their brand of bullying less fortunate girls. I have contacted the school administrator and asked that she search all the disciplinary files while they went to school there. Maybe a name will show up in those files that will point towards a victim of their bullying.”
“How soon can we have those files?” Kelsey asked hopefully.
“I’m already on it Mack, I ha
ve notification that the files are being uploaded to our server now so I can work on them later this afternoon. How is she?” Nikki asked in a voice heavy with concern.
“She woke up after you left and retched and then fell back to sleep. Doc said he’ll try conducting a few of his psychological profile tests on her and determine what might be the reason for her odd reaction to the questioning.
“That’s great Mack, I hope we can find out what she saw or didn’t see and what involvement or importance she is to this case.”
“Yeah me too Nikki”, she said not going into her motives for wanting to clear the author. “Now get back to the briefing and keep me posted on any new developments. And Nikki, thank you.”
“No problem Mack”, she said.
She mulled over the facts she had just learned; Miranda Gauthier had gone to the same school as the three women victims and a fourth maybe in danger. She just hoped Nikki wouldn’t discover the troubled author was a victim of the four bullies.
She returned to her suite to find Doc sitting at the small dining area table with a rumpled but awake Miranda Gauthier.
“Mack, Mir...I mean Miss Gauthier was just telling me about her writing career. Did you know she has over two dozen children books out covering every early childhood development stage in easy to read terms that they can understand?”
“Well Tom, I mean Doc was telling me that he did his thesis on how early childhood development can be a determining factor in a person’s propensity for criminal activity.” The author said smiling.
“Miranda here is quite well versed on early child psychology. Did you know she took many college courses on the topic before she decided to become an author?” Doc said looking rather taken with the petite woman sitting up straight and looking nothing like the frail, frightened woman from earlier.
Kelsey just sat there listening to the two of them discuss their genuine interest in each other’s work. Doc had always been a serious, scholarly type but here he sat with the author conversing and bantering like she had never witnessed before. Finding it hard to believe that the woman before her in a hotel robe sat looking nothing like the woman of earlier, gone was the trembling, mumbling incoherence and in its place a confident, friendly woman sat. Miranda Gauthier was a very confounding woman; her own confusion how the woman made her feel spun her world on its axis and left her shell-shocked.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Uncomfortable is another word for change; get use to it.”
Kelsey sat in wonder as Doc and the author continued to bond over child psychology and discussing books and writing books. She hadn’t heard the shy Profiler talk so much about himself ever. He talked animatedly not in his usual monotone manner. She thought of another Thomas that the author had charmed and remembered her father being quite taken with her. Just as she thought they had forgotten about her, they turned to her and spoke at the same time.
“What do you think about that?”
Giggling the author blushed and she found herself fixated on her mouth and still wasn’t sure what they were asking her.
“Sorry I wasn’t paying attention, what were you asking me?” She stood and tried to shake off an overwhelming feeling of giddiness.
“We wanted to know what you thought about Miranda going out for a walk and then trying some mild hypnosis techniques to get some answers.”Doc said while also standing and stretching.
“Ahhh...well are you still tired or maybe hungry?” Kelsey asked hoping to avoid the conversation about why she didn’t want the other members of the taskforce to be aware of the author’s presence among them.
“I’m fine but I need some fresh air I have been cooped up inside for over twelve hours and I need some cleaner air to breathe.” The author got up and stretched making the hotel robe she had on threaten to loosen and reveal what was inside.
Two pairs of eyes watched the progress of the fabric and then both sets were averted quickly. Kelsey caught Doc’s questioning look and she just shrugged. Hey buddy you were looking too.
“Mack, the others are still in afternoon briefing and it will be good for Miranda to go out; get the blood pumping and clean air in.” Doc said obviously he tried to convince her it would be okay.
“Are you still keeping me hidden?” Miranda asked.
“It is hot outside but maybe a stroll on the rooftop would be fine later and I’ll join you. Doc you should order some food for all of us. I’m going to get changed,” she said totally avoiding the question and the woman who asked it as she retreated to her bedroom and closed the door behind her.
Miranda shook her head and turned to Doc.
“You seem to know her quite well, is she always so easily rattled?
“Mack is never rattled. Today is the first time I have seen her act that way, must be the company.” He winked and then laughed when she ducked her head.
She gave this some thought and she could feel her face reddened with a deep blush. The agent had been quite taken with her while at her grandmother’s house but she wasn’t about to tell him that. It wasn’t her story to tell. Besides after the way she had treated her and agent’s own admissions she thought she must have been mistaken on what Kelsey felt for her.
“So why is that you and Nikki call Agent MacGregor Mack? Asked, hoping to change the subject entirely.
“Well that is a long story and...” Doc said only interrupted by Mack returning to the room.
Kelsey took in the two people who had stopped talking when she entered the room. Were they talking about me?
Doc grabbed the menu by the phone.
“What would you two like to eat?”
“I’ll just have some soda crackers and a chamomile tea with lemon,” the author said as she slipped past her on her way to the bedroom. “I’m not really looking forward to putting something heavy in my stomach at the moment. Will you two excuse me while I go get some more clothes on?”
“Mack what would you like?” Doc asked not making eye contact.
“A burger with a salad and some iced tea.” She said absentmindedly. Doc was still looking like someone caught with his hand in a cookie jar and she wondered what happened between Doc and the author.
After their lunch in the room, Doc explained to her how he would go about conducting his tests to see if the author had repressed memories. Miranda had decided she would be more comfortable after a shower and a change of clothes before she returned to the room for her session with Doc. During her absence, Kelsey thought it was best to ask Doc what happened earlier between him and the author.
“Doc what happened between you and Miranda...I mean Miss Gauthier?”
Doc was drawing the curtains and lighting the candles he had asked room service to bring up with their lunch.
“Mack nothing happened. You do know that she is a lesbian?”
Her face heated and she opened her mouth and then closed it. Why did he say that? I didn’t ask if he made a pass at her.
“How did you figure that out? Can you tell when someone is gay or lesbian...I mean is there questions you ask to determine it?” She knew she fumbled for the right words and failed miserably.
The straight-faced psychologist just shook his head and went on to explain his views on homosexuality.
“I have heard that people who are homosexual have what they refer to as a gaydar and with it they can find others with the same orientation. I can only assume they mean they get a sense of oneness or common feelings from the person, not that there is an actual device that can find homosexuality. I do not have a test to determine if a person is homosexual. Miranda told me herself she was a lesbian.”
Kelsey thought she shouldn’t find it odd that the author had been so open with her sexual orientation, she only hid the fact she was a lesbian erotica writer, not that she was a lesbian. Even Doc knew about this ‘gaydar’, why haven’t I ever heard about it?
“So how does one find out they are homosexual if there are no tests?” She asked innocently just as the author walked b
ack into the room.
“Maybe you should ask Miranda. Mack wants to know how one discovers they’re gay,” Doc said while he took a blanket and pillow and put them on the sofa.
Miranda looked from the profiler to the agent and chuckled because only the gorgeous tall woman with her head ducked low had a red face. She smirked because all the time the two of them have spent alone, the agent had never spoke to her about her sexual orientation or acted like it interested her.
“Well, I was quite young when I started to know I felt differently about girls than boys, but it wasn’t until I was in high school that I had my first crush on my best friend. I think for everyone it is different. I didn’t have an actual sexual relationship with a woman until I was in college and then I knew for sure.”
“Had you ever had sex with a man before or since?” Doc asked.
“No, not really, kissed a few and fooled around with one but he touched me, not me touching him. I never felt sexually attracted to a man at all; it was only experimentation and me trying to fit into society’s norms at the time. Everyone expected me to have a boyfriend and being interested in boys.” She looked to see how the information was affecting Kelsey and it intrigued her when she saw the agent looking at her intently as she spoke. She’s more interested in what I am saying now.
“Sex is such a fickle thing really; I never did understand why people that know nothing about someone can be attracted to them. Science can only scratch the surface of attraction saying it is pheromones and hormones but if that were true then people would only want to have sex when a woman was ovulating. Their theories then can’t explain homosexual attraction.” Doc said as he sat down and arranged some papers on the table.
Kelsey squirmed in the chair now because she never thought she would be talking about sexual attraction at all. Yet here she was sitting in a hotel room discussing sexual orientation and attraction with a lesbian erotica author and her very conservative, analytical friend and colleague. What had possessed her to get herself into this predicament?