She suspected he would partake of more than a little brandy that evening and could only hope it might bring him the solace he needed.
She did not see him again that evening and did not seek him out. But later, as she lay in her bed, sleep eluded her. Her head was filled with thoughts of her husband, and what he must be going through, and surprisingly her sympathy was drawn. With his mother gone, he had no-one to be close to. Only her, for what that was worth - and what sort of a wife was she that he had not felt able to share his grief with her?
Of course theirs was not meant to be that sort of marriage; he would not be expecting any solace from her, but still, did that mean she should not offer it? If the situation were reversed would she not appreciate a little kindness from her husband?
Another hour went by when still Isabelle tossed and turned. She could not believe what she was thinking, yet the idea was drawing her more and more. The thought of Guy alone in his room with his sad thoughts, tugged at her sensitivities and filled her with an inexplicable urge to comfort him. She was not used to feeling these sorts of emotions and it disconcerted her, but it was no more than she’d do for any friend in the same circumstances, she told herself. She would not be offering him sex - though of course if he required it she would not refuse him. She would be offering him a shoulder to lean on, an opportunity to share his grief should he wish to do so. And if he turned her away? Well so be it. Her conscience would be salved.
Throwing back the bedclothes, she drew a shawl around her shoulders and crossed into the dressing room that separated their rooms.
Her heart was thumping as she knocked and slowly opened his bedroom door.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Guy heard the door open and was aware of the shaft of light piercing the gloom of his room. At first he thought it was his valet, come to him for some reason, but as he sat up in his bed and looked towards the door, he saw it was Isabelle walking slowly into the room, a lamp held high in her hand.
He felt an instant quickening in his blood at the sight of her. He had been trying to banish the memories of last night from his mind but had found it nigh on impossible. He felt ashamed of himself that even in his grief, when he’d come to bed this evening, it had taken all the willpower he possessed not to enter his wife’s room and take some comfort there. And now here she was - come to him.
‘Isabelle?’
He watched, observing her very evident discomfort as she approached his bed.
She came to a halt a few paces away from him. She cleared her throat, then said. ’I wanted to say how sorry I was to hear about your Mama. I know how fond you were of her - as indeed I had become. She will be a great loss to us all.’
‘Thank you.’ He regarded her steadily. ‘But you could have told me that in the morning.’
She looked almost painfully embarrassed and he realised what an effort it had cost her to take this step and walk into his room.
‘I know. But I thought … that is, it occurred to me that you might be desirous of some company tonight, although of course I perfectly understand if you would rather be alone. I remember when my father died how lonely I felt, even though I had my brother and sister to share my grief. I did not like to think of you lying here unhappy.’
‘I am touched that you should care,’ Guy said, and even though there was a smile in his voice, he was surprised to realise the truth of his words.
Her demeanour stiffened a little. ’What I meant of course, is that I would not like to think of anyone being alone at a time like this.’
‘Aah, of course. That makes much more sense.’
Beneath his banter, his mind was working furiously. He was used to handling things on his own - didn’t need comfort or support. Indeed he always saw other people’s clumsy attempts to comfort him more intrusive than helpful. But he was aware of the huge symbolic step that Isabelle had taken in coming to him, and something within him reacted to that. Was it was a sign that she trusted him, maybe even cared for him a little? Why that thought should please him he wasn’t sure. But it did. And he realised that although of course he did not need her support, it wasn’t an unpleasant thought that he would have his wife by his side for the night.
‘Thank you Isabelle for your consideration. I own it would be pleasant to have some company tonight.’
He drew back the bedclothes to make room for her and after only the briefest of hesitations, she placed her candle on the table and blew it out, before slipping in beside him.
His bed was warm as she climbed in, and she shivered a little as he settled her in the crook of his shoulder. ‘You are freezing,’ he murmured, enveloping her tightly so that she might benefit from his warmth. ‘Come close that I might warm you.’
He held her quietly for a few minutes and gradually she relaxed, feeling his heat begin to permeate.
‘I apologise for not telling you sooner about my mother,’ he said into the darkness. ‘I know you were fond of her too, and it was wrong of me. I think it was the shock of seeing her like that. She looked so well when last we saw her.’
‘And that is how you must remember her,’ Isabelle said softly. ‘She was so happy to have all her family around her.’
‘I feel with my divorce I let her down - although she liked you, Isabelle.’ She could hear the smile in his voice. ‘She told me my mistake was not to find you earlier. I fear I was a sad disappointment to her.’
‘No, she was proud of you, Guy. She told me that and I could see it in her eyes. You should be at peace when you think of her, for never was there a mother more proud of her son.’
She felt his arms tighten briefly around her as he buried his head in her hair. After a few moments he said in a low voice, ’Thank you for coming here tonight, Isabelle, it has eased my heart a little. Sleep well.’
‘And you, Guy.’
Silence reigned, and within ten minutes she knew Guy was sleeping. She closed her eyes and gradually her body began to relax. It felt strange lying here in her husband’s arms. She was shocked to realise that it felt quite nice. As if this was how it was meant to be.
The next morning when she awoke, Guy was still in the bed beside her. She was aware of his long, hard form tucked closely behind hers, the heavy arm relaxed in sleep, draped carelessly over her. But as consciousness began to filter through, she gradually became aware again of that strange, dull ache between her legs. She did not understand it. She had never experienced these feelings before and they confused her. But she would not touch herself this time, she resolved. With Guy so close it was unthinkable.
Behind her, Guy shifted in his sleep. The action brought his body closer. It triggered a tingling in her private parts and she lay there marvelling in the sensation. She felt the ridge of his shaft behind her and she couldn’t help herself - arching her bottom ever so slightly so that she pressed further into him. The tingling between her legs exploded into fire and she gave a silent gasp as she pressed into him again, lost in the sensations. What was happening to her?
Whatever it was, it was not going away. The want was consuming. It felt delicious laying against him like this, rocking gently back and forth onto his ridge, opening her legs a little so that it could slide a bit further in. She felt Guy shift behind her, his arms tightening around her as he suddenly thrust into the gap, wedging himself there.
‘Good morning,’ he rumbled in her ear, his hand sliding upwards over her gown. ‘I trust you slept well?’
His shaft was solid between her legs and it took all the willpower she possessed not to moan and clench her muscles tightly around it. She was mortified that he would know she had been pressing shamelessly into him like that.
‘Uh, yes. Thank you …’
‘Good, because I have to own,’ his voice thickened as he nuzzled her neck, ‘I am wide awake and you are stirring my senses.’
Dimly, she was aware she needed to take control of the situation before it got out of hand, but she was trembling so much it was as if all conscious thought had deser
ted her.
’What is your preference?’ she asked, plucking up the courage to turn and face him.
It was a mistake, for the moment she stared into those clear grey eyes, heavy now with passion, she felt as if what little willpower she had left was drained from her.
Quickly, she reached for him. But his hand stilled her.
‘Not yet,’ he whispered. ‘My preference, as you so kindly ask, is to see you naked beside me.’
Very gently, she felt his hand sliding her gown up her body. She tensed. It was daylight now and he would see-
‘What is that?’ he asked, his fingers stilling as he gazed at her stomach.
‘I - it is-’
‘A burn mark, Isabelle?’
She could not answer him.
‘Did he do that to you?’
Still she could not speak, then finally,‘There are others - I am sorry. They are not a pleasant sight.’
‘You think I care about that?’
He removed her gown completely so that her body was exposed. There were four more, one on the upper part of each arm and one on each leg. All positioned where they would be hidden beneath her clothes.
‘What sort of a monster would do something like this to his wife?’ His voice was outraged.
She could not answer him. She felt exposed lying like this on the bed while he feasted his eyes on her. But then the ire in his eyes lessened as very gently, he dipped his head and kissed each mark in turn. It was almost her undoing as she struggled to suppress her emotion, but her muscles tightened spasmodically when he kissed the two on her inner thighs, a trail of fire racing straight up to her centre again.
‘Oh.’
‘You need have no fear that I would do anything to hurt you Isabelle,’ he said, his lips roaming softly over her skin there. ‘But I own you have whetted my appetite this morning.’
His tongue trailed idly upwards to her stomach then circled her belly button. ‘If you have no objection, I would like a little more than for you to just pressure me in your hands. I wish to learn your body, take some enjoyment from that - if you feel you can bear it? I know these things give you no pleasure, but we can take things slowly, at a pace to suit you - and hopefully you won’t find it too distasteful.’
She stiffened, every instinct warning her not to submit to him; yet she couldn’t think of a single objection to raise as she struggled to remain passive beneath his ministrations. When his hand cupped her sex she almost jumped out of her skin, immediately making to sit up. But before she could do it he had moved swiftly upwards himself to kiss her breast, his finger dipping between her juicy lips - much as hers had done the previous morning. His exquisite touch turned the fire to a smouldering burn.
’You are beautiful Isabelle,’ he said huskily. ‘Has anyone ever told you that?’
She marvelled at the change in his voice - and that it was she who had induced that change. He sounded softer … more vulnerable in his arousal.
When she felt his lips on her nipple she braced herself for the pain of his bite. But it didn’t come. Instead, he continued to kiss it gently, sucking and teasing with his tongue until its strange throbbing had her stirring restlessly beneath him.
‘Guy …’ she murmured.
‘Hmm?’ His mouth continued its work, drifting lazily from one breast to the other until they were both a mass of tingling pleasure. He lifted his head to look at her. ‘Tell me what pleases you and I will do it until I bring you to screaming pleasure.’
She was shocked at how his words seemed to excite her. She wanted to be brought to screaming pleasure, she realised. What was happening to her?
‘You would have me believe that you are cold and unfeeling, Isabelle, but I sense otherwise. This breast for example …’ he covered it with his hand and rolled the nipple gently between his fingers. She could not understand it but the more he did it, the more she felt like thrusting that breast into his hand.
‘It swells with the need to be touched…’
He brought his head up level with hers, staring at her for a long moment before lowering his mouth gently down to hers. His kiss was softly probing, teasing at her lips as if inviting them to dance with his. ‘Kiss me back,’ he whispered, ‘follow your instincts.’
But she couldn’t. She was beginning to realise where her instincts were taking her, and if Guy tried to penetrate her, as Richard had tried, she knew the pain her deformity would cause her. She kept her mouth stiff and unyielding, sensing that if she succumbed to the temptation to soften them - explore his mouth with her tongue as he was doing to her - she might truly lose control of herself.
Years of habit had her reaching down to take him in her hands. ‘Let me pleasure you, Guy,’ she whispered desperately.
‘Not this time. Let me pleasure you.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You can.’
His mouth continued to move over hers, becoming more searching. His fingers were taking her to new heights as they swirled in her moistness, and she found herself gripping his shaft tightly, though she knew not why.
She let out a little moan; thrusting her hips to meet his clever hand as he drewmore and more exquisite sensations from her. She struggled to maintain her detachment, but it was no good - those wicked memories of her pleasure the previous morning suffused her mind. She was barely aware of him moving slowly down her body, his lips trailing over her neck, her breasts, her stomach. Only when she felt his mouth gliding gently over the soft down of her mound did she tense.
He blew gently on the skin there, then looked up at her. ‘I would very much like to kiss you here Isabelle?’ he said, tracing it with his finger. ‘If it would not offend you too much?’
‘I, uh … suppose not, Guy. If that is your wish.’
The feel of his warm lips nuzzling her made her clench her fingers in pleasure. Dear God …
She gasped as she suddenly felt him parting her lips, so that his tongue, solid and warm, could slip between them. He started to swirl the tip of it around her sensitive peak again and again. She could feel herself opening up to him and when he spread her legs wider to gain better access, she let him. Faster and faster his tongue flicked; she could hear someone moaning and with a sense of shock realised that it was her. Dimly she was aware of herself wantonly thrusting her hips to meet his mouth, consumed by the sense of need that was building in her.
‘Does this feel good, Isabelle?’ His voice was a rumbling vibration against her skin.
‘Yes, oh yes,’ she panted. ‘Don’t stop.’
‘Not until I see you come, as I have come for you.’
His tongue attacked her with renewed determination and there was no stopping the exquisite sensations that suddenly exploded from her.
‘Guy.’
She cried out his name, clutching his head tightly between her legs as her orgasm fanned out and consumed her - far longer and stronger than the one she’d experienced at her own hands. It left her feeling weak and vulnerable as his mouth gradually ceased its actions, grazing over her for a final kiss before moving slowly back up her body. She found herself staring up at him in total bemusement, unable to believe what had just occurred. She hated sex - found it totally abhorrent - and yet …
‘You looked beautiful as you came,’ Guy growled in satisfaction, planting a little kiss on her lips. ‘I want to see that expression on your face over and over again, every time we make love.’
It was true, he realised, as he lay there looking at her. He’d been stunned by the affect she’d had on him as she came for him, and him alone. It was as he’d dreamt of seeing her - abandoned, wanton - her protective shield stripped away to reveal the vibrant, passionate woman that lay beneath. It gave him a feeling of tremendous satisfaction that he should be the one to introduce such pleasure to her.
But meanwhile his own pleasures were threatening to get the better of him as he became more and more aware of the urgent need to possess her. He took hold of her hand and ran the palm of it over his shaft. �
��Feel what you do to me,’ he whispered raggedly. ‘Let me make love to you, show you how it can be.’
He dropped his lips persuasively to her neck, kissing her tenderly.
‘I can’t,’ she whispered. ‘Please don’t make me.’
She took a grip of him, her soft hand beginning to run the full length of his shaft whilst her other hand cupped him lower. He groaned, bucking into her hand involuntarily.
Ye Gods, he was burning with the need to take her. And though she might start off resisting him, she would surrender. He could sense it. All he needed to do was …
But he stopped his thoughts. He could not. He’d given his word and he would not break it.
He shuddered, reaching for her breast as she continued to stroke him exquisitely.
‘Yes,’ he muttered, ‘that’s good.’
Somehow his hand found its way down to her sex, slick and wet from when she’d come, and he began to fondle her there again. Her breathing quickened, her swift gasp of surprise turning to soft little moans as he began to pleasure her. The look of shock in her cloudy eyes as he brought her to pleasure for a second time was so erotic that it tipped him over the edge - his own release engulfing him with a force that made him thrust groaning into her palm.
He lay spent on top of her, disconcerted by the intensity of his emotions. He’d never been so lost in a woman before. His brow furrowed at this perceived sign of weakness, but it did not stop him from planting a little kiss on the side of her neck before raising his head to look down at her.
The look she gave back was one of blank shock, and he gave a satisfied smile. It appeared that he was not the only one to be questioning what had just passed between them.
‘Well wife,’ he drawled lazily. ‘I think this should put paid to any talk of annulment between us, do you not agree? Something tells me it may not be long before we are truly and irrevocably joined in the marriage stakes.’
A small frown crossed Isabelle’s brow. Was that all this had been to him? A way of keeping her tied to him? When to her it had been … it had been…
Desperate Measures (Regency Undone) Page 10