by Rhonda Bowen
“Thanks,” Sydney said as she watched them leave.
“I just called Mom,” JJ said, taking a seat on the side of Sydney’s bed not occupied by Lissandra. “She’s on her way back from the hotel. She should be here any minute.”
Sydney let out a sigh and pressed the switch to adjust her bed into a sitting position.
“What does she know?” Sydney asked.
“Just that you’ve been in an accident,” Lissandra said. “She doesn’t know who the other woman was.”
“Which is pretty amazing, seeing that the whole thing was all over the news the night it happened,” JJ said.
“In Toronto?” Sydney asked.
“Yup,” JJ confirmed with a nod. “Essie managed to talk the police into keeping it hush hush, so they didn’t reveal the names.”
Sydney rested an IV’d hand across her forehead. “Thank God.”
“Don’t thank him yet,” Lissandra said. “We gotta figure out what we’re gonna do about Sheree. We still have time since no one knows she’s here. Not even Hayden.”
JJ glared in disbelief “Are you serious? I can’t believe you’re still scheming after what just happened.”
“You better believe it,” Lissandra snapped. “’Cause if homegirl suddenly starts having flashbacks about how Sydney chased her down the causeway, we’re gonna be looking at a lot more than just hospital time.”
JJ scowled. “If the both of you had listened to me in the first place, this wouldn’t even be happening.”
Sydney closed her eyes and put a hand to her aching temple. “Ladies, please—”
“Not all of us can sit back and get rolled over without fighting back,” Lissandra shot back.
“Maybe you need to—”
“Sydney.”
The three women looked at the unexpected visitor standing at the hospital door.
“Hayden.”
In two steps he was on the edge of her bed, pulling her into his arms. Sydney forgot all the complicated issues between them and laid her head against his chest, letting his familiar scent comfort her and jog all her memories of him.
Just when she was beginning to feel like she had found the one place she could stay forever, he loosened his grip so he could look at her.
“How did you know I was here?” she asked as his eyes roamed all over her face.
“I called him,” JJ said. Her response earned her a scowl from Lissandra, but Sydney barely noticed either of them.
“I came as soon as I heard,” he said, rubbing a thumb across her cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“Like someone just pulled me off the bottom of a lake,” Sydney said with a crooked smile.
He smiled back and kissed her forehead.
“Thank God you’re alive,” he said, his lips so close to her ear that the words reached only her. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”
“You can’t get rid of me, Dub.” Sydney rested her head against his chest once more, feeling the rumble of his chuckle. A contented sigh slipped from her lips as he wrapped his solid arms around her. Her man. Why had she been mad at him again? Whatever it was, it sure didn’t matter now. He was definitely forgiven.
He turned her face to his and kissed her eyelids gently, then her nose, then both her cheeks before finally getting to her lips. Sydney sighed. He was definitely the best medicine.
A throat cleared somewhere beyond them, and they turned to see Jackie standing at the door with Zelia and Josephine.
“Mom.”
Within moments, Jackie and Hayden had exchanged places and Sydney was being crushed against her mother’s bosom.
“Child, you nearly gave me a heart attack worrying about you. The Lord told me that something was wrong with one of my children that night. But I stayed on my knees and he heard my prayer.”
Jackie held Sydney’s face between her cheeks and looked at her as if memorizing every feature.
“I knew God would take care of you. I knew he would bring you back to me.”
Jackie crushed her in her arms again for a moment, but soon had to make space for Zelia and Josephine. The hospital room was starting to turn into a zoo, until the doctors came and shooed everyone out so Sydney could get her rest.
The longer she had been awake, the more clear her mind had become. And by the time everyone had left and Sydney was alone in her hospital room, the fog had completely lifted. Now she had nothing to do but think. Think about how she had almost died. Think about how she had almost killed another human being. Think about how she had lied to and deceived the people she loved most in the world. And all for what? Money? Revenge?
And then there was Sheree. She had destroyed their lives, but that didn’t give Sydney the right to destroy hers. She was tired of this. Tired of letting someone else’s actions control her own life. She was done with the secrets and lies.
Reaching for the cell phone at her bedside, she sent a message to Hayden. Within moments, he was at the door.
“Hey.” A soft smile played on his lips. “You trying to get me in trouble with the doc?”
“Sit,” she said, pointing to a chair beside her bed. “I need to talk to you.”
He sat, taking Sydney’s hand in his at the same time. But she noticed that the smile had been replaced with a look of concern.
“What’s going on?”
Sydney looked at him long and hard, memorizing the lines on his beautiful face. Recalling the touch of his hands on her skin, the feel of his lips against hers, the warmth in his eyes whenever he looked at her, the sense of safety in his arms. She remembered the day months ago when he had walked back into her life. She could almost picture him standing in front of her in his perfectly fit suit, his coffee-colored eyes glowing as they watched her. He had been everything she wanted and needed, and she hadn’t even known it. And now that she did, she was about to say words that might make her lose him forever.
But she had to. She wouldn’t have him under a cover of lies. There would be no more secrets between them. No more half-truths. No more omissions. If they were going to be together, it would have to be on the terms of complete honesty—starting with her.
Sydney sighed. “You know there were two cars involved in my accident, right?”
He nodded.
“The driver of the other car was Sheree,” she said.
Sydney watched as a range of emotions passed over his face. He looked away from her as if trying to process the information.
“We found her here in Kingston, at a bar. Things got a little messy. She took off and I took off after her. At the bridge, things got out of control and both our cars went into the harbor.”
He slowly sat back, pulling his hand away from Sydney’s. She felt the coldness slide between them like a wall as he took in her words. His face was expressionless, but she could see his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard.
“So she’s here,” Hayden croaked. He still wouldn’t look at Sydney.
“Yes.” Sydney said, not sure how much more she should say. “She’s here under an alias, Shayla Vaughn. She . . .”
Sydney stumbled and Hayden turned hard eyes on her. She couldn’t speak when he looked at her like that, so she looked away.
“She was unconscious. But she woke up yesterday. She doesn’t remember who she is.”
She heard the chair scrape against the ground as Hayden got up.
“Hayden . . .”
“I have to go see her.” He was halfway to the door.
Sydney felt bands of panic wrap around her heart as she watched him walk away. It felt like he was leaving more than just her hospital room.
“I never meant for any of this to happen.” She could barely speak past the lump in her throat.
He stopped but didn’t look back at her.
“You found her. How could you not have told me?”
There were so many things she could say to defend herself. But that wouldn’t be complete honesty.
“I’m sorry,” was a
ll she could come up with.
His voice was quiet when he finally spoke. “Yeah. Me, too.”
He opened the door and left without looking back. Sydney curled onto her side and pulled the sheets closer around her as the coldness of his departure wrapped around her. She was almost sure, that this time he wasn’t coming back.
Chapter 32
Sydney had always thought she would be much older before mobility would be a problem for her. It had been more than three weeks since she’d been released from the hospital, but timely movements were still difficult. With the better part of her right leg in a cast and a number of bruises on other parts of her body, she had been ordered to take it easy. But taking it easy meant a lot of downtime thinking about all the taking it easy she could do now that she didn’t have a job. So she had called up Jackie and offered to make snacks for her next women’s ministries meeting at church. Her mother had declined but contracted her to make hors d’oeuvres for the seniors’ banquet that weekend. Sydney had nearly fallen off her crutches when Jackie told her the event would host two hundred people. She should have known better than to ask her mother for work. Jackie could always find some.
It was probably a blessing in disguise, however. The busier she was, the less time she would have to think about Hayden. At least, that was the way she supposed it should work. Instead, however, everything reminded her of him. The kitchen reminded her of when he had cooked breakfast for her and her sisters. The living room reminded her of when he had held her as she cried about Dean. The backyard reminded her of the day he had dropped everything to be with her after Dean announced he was selling the store. Her home was infested with memories of him. No matter where she turned, there was no escaping him. But at least the work would help her try.
Sydney was wrist deep in pastry dough when the doorbell rang. In a moment of impatience, she abandoned her crutches and hopped the short distance to the door on her good foot. Slightly out of breath, she pulled the door open.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear the . . .”
Sydney lost the rest of her sentence when she saw him. It was the first time she’d laid eyes on him since the hospital. She had thought that time would be the last time. But here he was, standing outside her door looking incredible. The rich chocolate brown of his leather jacket and navy shirt contrasted sharply with his bronzed skin. The midday sun behind him framed his sturdy form in golden light that made him look like he had stepped out of a dream, but the scent of his sandalwood cologne confirmed that he was fully and completely real. She thanked God for the doorframe. Her good leg was completely weak.
“Hey,” was all she could manage when she finally found her voice.
She watched his eyes trip all over her face before he answered.
“Hey.”
She wasn’t sure how long they stood at the door staring at each other. Sydney had always been able to read Hayden. He had been an open book from the start. Every emotion, every thought, every inclination was always right there at the surface. She had always been the one to hold back. But now the roles had been switched. Sydney felt like everything she felt for him that wouldn’t go away was written all over her face. But he was unreadable.
She balanced against the wall and moved to the side. “Come in.”
He stepped in slowly and she closed the door behind him, still leaning on it for support. Now they were both standing in the entryway. Sydney knew she would look ridiculous hopping toward the couch or the kitchen, but her crutches were nowhere nearby. She saw Hayden glance at her non-functioning leg, and he seemed to pause as if contemplating his options.
“Where are your crutches?” he asked finally.
“In the kitchen, between the refrigerator and the counter.”
Without another word, he strode through the living room and disappeared into the kitchen.
“Thank you,” Sydney said nervously, when he returned a few moments later with her supports in his hand.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked, settling the crutches under her arms and turning toward the kitchen. “Water? Soda? Juice?”
“No, I’m fine.” He followed her into the kitchen. He sat on one of the breakfast stools by the counter and watched Sydney move the huge roll of dough into a bowl and cover it with a towel.
Something that almost looked like a smile lifted the corner of his lips.
“Stressed out?” he asked.
She glanced at him and remembered how much he knew her. He knew that work was her escape.
Sydney let out a shaky breath. “A little.”
When there was finally nothing left to do with her hands, she settled onto the kitchen stool across the counter from him.
She could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet them. Every time she looked at him, she felt like she was hurting him all over again. And sorry didn’t seem like enough to cover all of that.
“How’s Sheree?” she asked.
“She was OK,” he said, “while she was with me.”
Sydney looked up at him.
“She was at my place for a couple days, then I came home one day and she was gone.”
Sydney looked down again. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “Some birds can’t be caged.”
“I’m sorry about everything,” Sydney said, looking up at him again.
He looked at her for a long moment.
“See, that’s the problem,” he said finally. “I keep getting the feeling that there are parts of that everything that I don’t know about.”
Sydney felt her heart beat faster and she prayed to God that he wouldn’t ask her.
“I want to know, Sydney . . .”
“No, you don’t,” she said, shaking her head.
“I need to know,” he said, leaning forward. “Tell me what happened with you and Sheree. Please.”
Sydney didn’t want to. She really didn’t want to. But she had promised herself on that bed in the hospital that she was done lying. Done keeping secrets. If she really accepted that what she had done was wrong and she was really sorry for it, then she had to be ready to be honest about it. Honest with herself and honest with everyone else.
She raised her eyes to his. “OK.”
Then she took a deep breath and told him everything: from the cell phone tap, to copying his keys; from the day in his bedroom at his house, to the day they searched Sheree’s house. She told him every detail, and she watched every emotion roll over his face as she did it. When she was done, he was somewhere between disbelief and anger.
“You copied my keys?” He had gotten up off the stool and was pacing the floor. “You broke into my house? I can’t believe . . . I was there, you were right there . . .”
Sydney watched him rub his hands over his head as he continued pacing. Every couple of moments, he would glance up at her. She knew what he was thinking. What kind of person could do that? How could he have loved someone as vile and deceitful as she was? She knew, because she had asked herself those same questions.
“I can’t believe you did that to me.” His whole body seemed to shake with anger. “I trusted you, I loved you. How could you do that to me?”
His anger couldn’t disguise the hurt that poured out of him as he questioned Sydney. It sliced her heart in two. And even though she thought she was done crying over Hayden and what she had done, she felt tears sting the back of her eyelids.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know I was wrong. But I had to find her. And you wouldn’t tell me anything. You knew and you wouldn’t tell me!”
“Oh, so this is my fault?”
“No, I never said that.” Sydney couldn’t stop herself from choking up. “But we both lied to each other, Hayden. I am sorry for what I did, but I didn’t mess us up on my own.”
“I was trying to help you,” he protested. “I wanted her to give it all back. But I knew once you and your sisters got ahold of her, you would rake her over the coals.”
“And what, she didn’t deserve it
? For what she did to Dean?” Sydney protested. “My brother’s been in a coma for weeks. He may never wake up—never come home!”
“My sister has no home,” Hayden said. “She never did. And I just wanted to be that one person that she could feel safe with. Can’t you understand that, Sydney? She never had anyone be on her side. I wanted to be that for her. I needed to be that.”
She rubbed a hand across her face to swat away the tears that had disobeyed her. “I know we both have reasons for what we did. If I could do this all over, I would do it different. But I can’t. All I can say is I’m sorry. And I know it’s not enough, but . . .”
Sydney had run out of words, and the sobs choking her weren’t making it any easier. She had never cried this much in her entire life. She wasn’t even sure who she was anymore.
“Don’t,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t do that. You don’t get to cry and make me forget. You hurt me, Sydney—in ways that you can’t even understand. You disrespected me, violated me, and trampled all over our relationship.”
He stepped forward, the heat in his eyes incinerating her.
“And you know what the worst part of it is?” he asked angrily. “Despite all of that, despite everything you did . . . For some reason that I don’t even understand, I still love you.”
Sydney felt her heart fall to her feet. His words should have made her feel better—consoled some part of her deep inside. But instead, she felt like she wanted to die.
He reached into his inside jacket pocket for something, then dropped it on the counter in front of her without looking at it. She breathed in and got the slightest whiff of his cologne. She looked into his clear brown eyes and saw the sheen of his unshed hurt. He was so close, her fingers ached to touch him—but so far away she felt she could never reach him again.
With one last look at her, he turned and headed toward the living room. His final words cut the last cord of composure Sydney had, and echoed through the empty house even after the door slammed behind him.
“Happy birthday, Sydney.”
“Surprise!”
The front door to the house burst open and in flooded Sydney’s mother and sisters.