“Do second marriages have a better success rate?” Cathy finally asked. “I know the success rate for first marriages is lousy. But what about second marriages? It seems they would have a better success rate, since you learn something from the first.”
“Actually, no, they don’t.”
Cathy looked shocked.
“Sorry, it’s true,” Evelyn said. “People don’t always learn much from their first marriages. They tend to repeat the same old patterns.”
Cathy frowned. “Really? You mean if they marry a jerk the first time, they turn around and marry another jerk? How stupid.”
Evelyn smiled. “Or they marry someone with the same incompatibilities. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn something and do better next time. You can break the pattern.”
“I definitely don’t want to end up in divorce court again. It was nasty, a horrible experience for me.” Cathy shuddered visibly.
“There’s probably only one way to be absolutely sure that won’t happen again.”
Cathy frowned briefly, then blinked with enlightenment. “Oh, you mean don’t get married again in the first place?”
Evelyn nodded.
“You’re telling me that marriage always has pros and cons.”
Evelyn nodded again. “So does being single. There are different kinds of risks or different pros and cons, as you put it. It all depends on what you prefer. Some prefer the freedom that comes with being single. But the downside is loneliness, and it can be a big downside when you’re an older woman. Not to mention the risk of all the STDs out there.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Not that you can’t catch things when you’re married, but ideally it’s less of a concern then. If you go for marriage, you’ll have someone to share things with, from bills to lovemaking and everything else. But that comes with the risk of losing it all and being hurt or maybe being trapped in a bad marriage that you can’t walk away from so easily. In the end, it’s about knowing yourself—your strengths and your vulnerabilities, your hopes and dreams—so you can make smart choices.”
The more Evelyn listened to herself talk, the more she realized how much she wanted to stay married. The alternative didn’t sound too appealing for a woman her age. She tried to sound impartial as she counseled Cathy, but it was harder to do that now, given what she was going through in her own personal life.
As soon as Cathy left, Evelyn moved to her desk and picked up the phone, not to call the caterer but to call Kevin once again. She would get to the caterer in due time, but she had been trying to reach Kevin since Monday, the day after he left, and she was tired of waiting for him to call her back. She wanted to hear his voice, and she didn’t even know his whereabouts. Was he still in a hotel, or had he moved to the apartment today as planned? It was utter nonsense that she had no idea where her husband was.
She dialed his cell number. How ironic, she thought as she waited. The only way she could get in touch with her husband was through his cell phone. She listened as it rang and rang until finally his voice mail greeting came on. She twisted her lips impatiently until the greeting ended, then left yet another curt message for him to call her and slammed the phone down.
How could Kevin walk out and not even bother to get in touch for three days? She felt like some desperate twenty-year-old calling her man again and again and praying that he would call her back. She hadn’t gone through crap like this in decades and she hated it. She was too old for such nonsense.
She still had some good old-fashioned pride left in her. She would wait it out. If she gave Kevin some time, he would get in touch sooner or later. They had been together for so long. He needed her more than he realized. He needed his life with her more than he knew or was willing to admit. All his talk about trying to act white was foolish nonsense. Kevin had always been just as eager as she had to improve their lives, to have nice things for themselves and their children. With patience on her part, he would come back to his senses and back to her.
Or would he? What if he didn’t come back to his senses? What if he enjoyed his time away from her? What if he met some other woman while he was away? Worse yet, what if he had already met another woman? Evelyn didn’t think he had, but could she be sure? No, she couldn’t.
“Oh, God,” she muttered. She tapped her fingers on the desk and took a deep breath. “Calm down,” she said softly. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in negative thoughts just yet. Kevin was about to turn fifty. Most likely, he was going through the male change of life. It was surprising, since Kevin had always been so stable, so rock solid, but turning fifty could freak anyone out, even someone as rational as Kevin. Maybe even more so with someone like Kevin. He was likely regretting all those years of being so sane and serious about everything. Now he wanted to let it all loose and have some fun.
She glanced at the telephone, willing him to call her back. If he did, she could tell him that she understood what he was going through, that he didn’t need to dump his wife to find fulfillment. They could talk things over and it would be good for him. After all, she was a psychologist.
Maybe she would try to reach him at Blockbuster. She had never gotten his number there, thinking the job was a stupid fad that wouldn’t last. That was obviously a big mistake.
She was about to call directory assistance for the local Blockbuster when her desk phone rang. She almost fell out of the chair when she saw Kevin’s number on the caller ID.
“You called?” he asked when she answered, his voice filled with more than a hint of irritation.
Evelyn almost sputtered. He acted like he was doing her a favor by returning her call. What gave him the right to treat her like some random slut off the street chasing after him?
She had planned to talk to him calmly and rationally, despite the fact that she had every right to be thoroughly pissed about his behavior. But that plan had flown straight out the window the moment he called, copping an attitude with her.
“What is going on with you, Kevin? You walk out on me and don’t even bother to get in touch. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“I thought it would be best to give us a few days to chill and, you know, clear our heads, given how upset we both were when I walked out on Sunday.”
“So are you planning to walk back in any time soon?”
“I need more time to think things over, Evelyn. You should do the same.”
“What am I supposed to be thinking about? Will you please tell me that?”
Silence.
“I’m waiting, Kevin. What the hell am I supposed to be thinking about?” She didn’t mean to shout, but she couldn’t help it. He was turning her life inside out.
“You should try to calm down,” he said.
“I don’t need to do anything. You need to tell me what you expect me to do while you’re doing all this damn thinking. ’Cause I don’t need to do any thinking. I know exactly what I want. I want us to be a family just like we’ve always been.”
“I hear you.”
“Then what are you going to do about it? And what do I tell people until you decide?”
“I can’t answer that,” he said calmly, too damn calmly, as far as she was concerned.
“God, Kevin. You sound so cold. What’s gotten into you?”
“It’s not just me,” Kevin said. “We’ve both changed. We’ve grown apart. If you think about it, you’ll see that.”
“I haven’t changed. You’ve changed.”
“Fine, Evelyn. If you can’t see it, you don’t want to see it. ’Cause any way you look at our lives recently, we’ve grown apart. We want different things. I woke up one day and realized that I couldn’t care less about legal briefs and depositions or even about my clients. I don’t give a damn about the house or the lawn or driving a luxury car. All that shit disgusts me now. I don’t need it, don’t want it. The question is, are you willing to give those things up?”
Evelyn was silent. She didn’t know what to say to that.
/> “I didn’t think so,” Kevin said.
Evelyn swallowed. Kevin was right about one thing. He had changed—a lot. But was this permanent? Could they work through it and perhaps find a middle ground? He didn’t seem to think so, but she wasn’t ready to give up on him or on them yet. “Are you saying you want a divorce? That you want to give up on us without first trying to work through this?”
“I’m not saying anything now,” he said. “I know it’s not fair to ask you to give all that up, and I really don’t expect you to. But I need to clear my head and think about what I can realistically live with.”
“And you need to do your thinking away from me. Right?”
“It’s better that way, Evelyn.”
He seemed determined to have this time away from her, and fussing about it wasn’t going to get him to change his mind. “How long do you think you’ll need?”
“All I can say is that I’ll call you at some point.”
She sighed. “Can you give me something a little more definite? It’s frustrating to be completely shut out like this.”
“It will be soon,” he said. “More than that I can’t say now. I need to clear my head.”
Your head, your head, your head. Was that why he had shaved it? To clear out all the memories of their lives together. That was what she wanted to shout. But she didn’t, simply because she knew it wouldn’t do a bit of good. “Fine. Where are you staying?”
“The Wynfield apartments in College Park.”
“Apartment number?”
“Just call me on my cell if you need to reach me.”
“Honestly, Kevin, do you have to be so secretive?” Her lips tightened. “Fine, I’ll call you on your cell.”
“Good. Anything more?” he asked.
Of course there was more. She had a million questions for him, but it was hard to express her innermost thoughts to someone who so obviously didn’t want to be bothered with her. “That’s it. Oh, wait. Have you talked to Andre and Rebecca? Have you told them anything about this yet?”
“I haven’t talked to them since I left the house. I’ll probably call them before the week is out.”
“Maybe, um, maybe you should hold off telling them until we decide what we’re going to do. This will come as a shock to them. It might even affect Rebecca’s studies.”
“Fine. I can go along with that.”
Evelyn let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
“I’ll call you soon.”
She listened as he hung up, then stood and looked out the window behind her desk. It was hot out and the streets were slick from several thunderstorms they’d had since Monday afternoon. The heat she could do without, but they had needed the rain desperately. After a multiweek dry spell, the flowers and shrubs in her yard at home were starting to dry out. The wet weather should do a lot of good toward replenishing everything.
If only she could figure out how to replenish her marriage. Or was it just too hopelessly dried out? How had it come to this? The distance between the two of them, the heated disagreements. They had always argued from time to time, but where there was once fire and passion now there was only bitterness and resentment.
She would wait for his stupid call and she would try to be patient about it. She didn’t have much choice. She hated the feeling of waiting in the dark until he was ready to bring the light. She hated that he had the upper hand in all of this. It was demeaning and exasperating beyond belief. But she had to swallow her pride, her feelings, her convictions—all of that and a whole lot more—if she wanted to try and save her marriage. For now the best thing to do was to get on with her life, just as she would have told Cathy and all her other clients.
She sat back at her desk, picked up the phone, and dialed the caterer’s number. As soon they finished discussing the details for the buffet menu, she opened the bottom desk drawer and removed her lunch and that morning’s copy of the Washington Post. She opened the bag, took out the tuna sandwich and the apple, and stared at them blankly. Suddenly her lunchtime routine of eating at her desk while catching up on the news seemed dreadfully dull.
She stuffed the sandwich and apple back into the bag and tossed the bag and the newspaper back into the bottom desk drawer. She grabbed her Fendi purse and slammed the drawer shut. She needed to get out of the office for a change of scenery. And she needed something a little more appetizing for lunch.
She had never liked eating out alone, but this was downtown Silver Spring, and there were several sandwich shops between here and the Metro line. She would pop in somewhere for something a little more exciting than a tuna sandwich before her next client was due.
She removed a small mirror from her purse and checked her hair, then grabbed her suit jacket from a hook on the wall and left the office.
Chapter 9
Evelyn buttoned her linen suit jacket neatly as she waited for an elevator to take her down from the sixth floor to the lobby of the office building. One of the two elevators stopped and just as she was about to enter, a couple stepped out of the other elevator. The three of them smiled at one another briefly, and Evelyn entered her elevator and pressed the button for the lobby.
That was when she heard her name being called.
“Evelyn?”
She frowned and stuck her hand between the elevator doors just before they shut. They popped back open, and Evelyn stepped out to face the man she had just seen alight from the opposite elevator, standing there in front of her, the woman slightly behind him.
“Evelyn Jordan?” he said as the elevator door closed behind her.
She smiled slightly and narrowed her eyes. She didn’t recognize him, but he was using her maiden name. “I’m sorry, but—”
“McKinley High School,” he said. “You graduated in the seventies and you were one or two classes behind me, I think. Reuben Roberts.”
The smile on Evelyn’s face widened. She remembered the name well. Reuben had been one class ahead of her, and he was a star on the basketball team, very popular with guys and girls alike. Evelyn and every other girl in the school had a huge crush on him. At the time, though, Reuben had eyes only for Belinda, whom he later married when they both finished college.
He had changed a lot, Evelyn thought as they shook hands. She recognized the twinkling brown eyes and long lashes from all those years ago. But gone were the baby cheeks and the deep dimples that had made high school girls swoon. In their place was a devilishly handsome mature face that Evelyn was sure now made grown women look twice.
“I remember you,” she said. “It’s good to see you, Reuben.”
He reached out and they moved in for a quick hug. Then Reuben gestured toward the woman standing behind him, who Evelyn noted was much younger. She was also as beautiful as she was impeccably dressed and made up. Although it had been many years since she’d seen Reuben, Evelyn was pretty sure this woman wasn’t Belinda.
“This is a colleague of mine, Carissa Valentine,” he said. “Carissa, this is Evelyn Jordan.”
The two women shook hands and Reuben laughed.
“I still can’t believe it’s you, Evelyn. You haven’t changed much at all since high school. You look fantastic.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. But thank you for saying it. You’re looking good yourself.”
“Thanks. I remember you had a sister, right? Name is Charmaine?”
Evelyn nodded. “Actually I have two sisters, but you probably never met Beverly, since she’s eight years younger than I am.”
“No, don’t think I did. How is Charmaine? Crazy Charmaine. Yeah, I remember her well.”
“She’s good. She got married about a year ago.”
“Oh? Tell her I said, congratulations. What about you? Married? Kids?”
Evelyn paused for a second, not sure how to respond to the question about marriage. Then she collected herself. There was definitely no need to go into details about her marriage—or lack thereof—with a man she hadn’t seen in thirty years. “Yes, we
have two children, a boy and a girl. Rebecca is in college. Andre just finished and now lives in Baltimore. How about you, Reuben? Did you have children?”
He nodded. “Two boys, both grown now.”
An elevator appeared again, and Evelyn stuck her hand in to keep the doors open.
“It was nice seeing you, Reuben.” She nodded toward Carissa. “Nice meeting you.”
Carissa smiled. “You too.”
Reuben reached out to help Evelyn hold the elevator doors, which were doing that thing they do when they desperately want to close. “Do you work here in this building?” he asked.
Evelyn nodded. “Yes, I have for several years now.”
“Cool. I just moved here from downtown D.C. a couple of weeks ago. I’ll probably see you around.”
“I’m sure.”
They let the doors have their way, and Evelyn realized that she still had a smile on her face when she stepped out into the first-floor lobby. She couldn’t believe she had just run into Reuben Roberts, easily the most popular guy in the entire high school when they were there. She would have to be sure to tell Charmaine. Or maybe she wouldn’t. Charmaine used to tease her relentlessly about the way she got excited whenever Reuben was around.
She opened the door leading onto Georgia Avenue, a busy street in downtown Silver Spring filled with the sights, sounds, and scents of lunchtime traffic. She clutched her bag a little more tightly and headed toward the restaurants. It didn’t take long for the smile on her face to fade away as she trudged up the rain-slicked hill, all her recent troubles with Kevin filling her memory.
Sisters and Husbands Page 6