“Bev, please. I love you and I want to get married tomorrow. Don’t do this to us.”
“I’m sorry, Julian. I can’t go through with the wedding. I just can’t.”
She reached the elevators out of breath and pressed the down button. She couldn’t shake the sad and disappointed look of rejection she saw in Julian’s eyes when she had removed the diamond ring from her finger and held it out to him.
“C’mon, c’mon,” she mumbled as she paced in front of the elevators. She needed to get away from there. She saw something moving out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Julian scrambling down the hallway toward her, dressed only in the slacks he had hastily thrown on.
“Bev, come back to the room so we can talk,” he said.
She shook her head firmly and turned away from him. “No, Julian. We’ve done enough talking.”
“You’re not making sense, Bev.” He reached out and touched her shoulder. “What are we going to do about tomorrow and all the people coming? Our family and friends?”
Beverly knocked his hand away. She couldn’t think about tomorrow. If she did, she might go through with something she would live to regret. She had to think about what she was feeling at this very moment. And what she felt was scared. “I’m sorry, Julian, but I can’t think about that right now. Please, go away.”
“Is this because of Valerie liking me? I told you it was just a silly crush that she had on me for a while. That’s all.”
Beverly pressed the elevator button again, anxiously willing it to get there. She didn’t want to discuss this anymore. They had talked about it constantly ever since Valerie admitted her feelings for Julian a few days ago. As soon as Beverly arrived home after visiting Valerie on Tuesday, she’d called Julian.
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me all this time if you knew Valerie liked you romantically,” Beverly had said after Julian admitted that Valerie had expressed her feelings to him once or twice.
“Maybe I should have, but she told me that before you and I met, and nothing ever happened between us. Not even a kiss.”
“We’re planning to get married, Julian. There should be no secrets between us, especially about something like this.”
“You’re right,” he said. “The two of you were such good friends, and I didn’t want to come between that. But I misjudged.”
“I think she still has feelings for you.”
He nodded. “That’s why I changed jobs.”
Beverly frowned. “So the reason you changed jobs was to get away from my best friend because you knew she was attracted to you and you never even told me?”
“I didn’t think that she was still interested,” he said. “She hasn’t said anything to me lately, but I was never really comfortable working with her after you and I started seeing each other.”
“Jeez!” Beverly said. “Something’s really wrong with this picture.”
“I screwed up by not telling you,” Julian said, standing behind Beverly at the hotel elevator. “I know that now. From now on, I promise to come to you. No secrets.”
“Sorry, there won’t be a next time. Just go away.”
A middle-aged couple, obviously tourists, approached the elevator, and Beverly and Julian quieted down. Good, Beverly thought. Now maybe he’ll shut up and leave me the hell alone.
But instead of walking away, Julian moved closer to Beverly and lowered his voice. “Snap out of this, Beverly. You’re panicking about nothing.”
“It’s not about nothing,” she said, straining to keep her voice down. “How can you keep saying that? You don’t understand what this…” He touched her arm, and she slapped his hand away, this time with more force.
“Stop it!” she snapped, turning to glare at him.
The couple standing nearby gasped and stared openly. Julian backed off and held his hands up in defeat. The look of embarrassment on Julian’s face made Beverly feel sad. The look of surprise on the couple’s faces made her feel humiliated.
Stupid slow elevator. She felt like kicking it. She looked up and down the hallway for the exit sign to the stairs. She spotted one and took off in that direction, never looking back, praying that Julian wouldn’t follow her. She had to get out of there that minute. She was torn and confused. She didn’t really understand what she was doing now or why. She just knew she couldn’t go through with marriage when it felt so wrong.
She opened the door and flew down the stairs two at a time. She would think about all of this when she got back home. After she put some space between herself and Julian, she would be able to see things more clearly. He made her feel so good, both in and out of bed, and that sometimes messed with her head. She couldn’t possibly make a rational decision about him when she was right there under his powerful aura.
She exited the stairwell and ran through the hotel lobby, clutching the overnight bag in her arms. Now more than just a single couple was staring at her. Everyone was turning to get a glimpse of the crazy woman flying through the Hyatt. Only when she was outside on Pratt Street did she slow down. But she didn’t stop. She kept up a brisk pace all the way to the garage across the street.
She ran up the stairs until she reached the level where her Lexus was parked. She stopped and leaned on the side of her car to catch her breath. What had she just done back there? She shook her head. Maybe she really was crazy. Here she was deserting the man of her dreams, the man she had waited nearly forty years to meet. Tomorrow was their wedding day, and she was running away from him.
A part of her wanted to turn around and flee back into Julian’s arms. She always felt so safe and happy with him. What happened?
Her sisters’ troubled marriages. Her best friend’s betrayal. Her fiancé keeping secrets from her. That’s what happened. It was too much.
Chapter 36
Charm, wake up!” Evelyn yelled into the phone as Charmaine, on the other end of the line, rubbed her sleepy eyes and scrambled to sit up in bed. The shrill voice blasting through the telephone had sent a chill up Charmaine’s spine, and her heart thumped fiercely. Tyrone stirred on his side of the bed and switched the light on.
“My God, Evelyn, you’re scaring the shit out of me,” Charmaine said. “What is it?”
“Ma just called and she’s panicking. She hasn’t been able to reach Beverly all morning.”
Charmaine glanced at the clock radio on Tyrone’s night-stand as he leaned on one elbow, facing her. “It’s only six-thirty,” Charmaine said. “The wedding’s not until two. Maybe she’s still out with Julian. You know how they are.”
“Then why doesn’t she answer her cell phone? No one has talked to her since the rehearsal yesterday evening, unless you did last night.”
“No, I didn’t. That is kind of strange, I admit. But I wouldn’t panic just yet.”
“I wouldn’t either if this was anybody else, but this is Beverly. I’m afraid that she’s doing it again. You know. Ducking out at the last minute.” Evelyn sighed deeply.
“Lord, I hope not,” Charmaine said. “Did you try to reach Julian?”
“I called his house and there was no answer. I don’t know his cell number.”
“See? There you go. They’re out together. I have his number here somewhere. Let me hang up so I can go and find it. I’ll call you back.”
“I’ll be waiting,” Evelyn said.
Charmaine hung up the phone, jumped out of bed, got her purse off the chair, and dumped the contents out on her side of the bed.
“What’s going on?” Tyrone asked as he sat up.
“It’s Beverly. Seems no one can reach her.”
“You tried her cell?”
“Evelyn did.”
“So what are you looking for now?”
“Julian’s cell number. I know I have it here somewhere. I just never used it and I don’t know where I put it.” Charmaine finally found the sheet of paper she was searching for buried in a stack of papers inside her day planner. Just as she was about to pick up and d
ial Julian’s number, the phone rang.
“Charm,” Evelyn said hastily. “Julian called me right after we hung up. He said he hasn’t been able to get in touch with Beverly since last night. He said they were staying at a hotel in Baltimore and had a big argument and she ran off.”
“Oh, Lord.”
“He’s in a panic now, too,” Evelyn said. “He doesn’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. What do you think?”
Charmaine threw her arms in the air. “Damn if I know. What did they argue about?”
“He didn’t go into it much, but apparently Beverly is still upset about what happened with Valerie. He said they argued about the wedding and that she was getting cold feet.”
“Shit! What is the matter with that child? I know she better not be pulling this crap again. She’s had months to get used to the idea of getting married. Or to back out. This is nuts!”
“Calm down, Charm. It does no good to get mad now.”
“I’m not mad. I’m just saying, it’s so childish of her to pull this every time she gets close to the altar.”
“I agree one hundred percent,” Evelyn said. “I just don’t think getting upset with her is going to help. But go ahead and get it out of your system so we can get busy trying to find her.”
Charmaine let out a deep breath. “You’re right,” she said in a softer tone. “Any suggestions for where we should start looking?”
“Meet me at Bev’s in half an hour. Can you do that?”
“Yes, but what good will that do?” Charmaine asked. “She’s not answering her phone.”
“She might be there and just not picking up. And if she’s not there, then we can decide where to look next. Maybe that place down the street where she likes to go for coffee on weekends.”
“I’m on my way,” Charmaine said. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
Chapter 37
Evelyn pulled up in front of Beverly’s town house in her Benz just as Charmaine was climbing out of her Honda. It was obvious that both of them had dressed in a hurry. Charmaine wore cutoff blue jeans and furry house slippers, and Evelyn had tossed on off-white cotton slacks and a pair of worn leather flats.
They met on the sidewalk in front of Beverly’s house, nodded their greetings, and walked hastily up to the front door in silence. Evelyn knocked and stepped back; then they waited. And waited. No answer. Charmaine approached the door and pounded with a lot more urgency as Evelyn pulled her cell phone from her shoulder bag and dialed Beverly’s house and cell phone numbers, probably for the tenth time that morning. There was still no answer, and Charmaine backed up and yelled at the windows.
“Beverly, if you’re in there, you open this door right this minute! You hear me?”
When there was still no response by door or phone, Evelyn put her hand on her hip and frowned deeply. “Where on earth could she be on the morning of her wedding?”
Charmaine threw her hands in the air. “Knowing her, she took off running down I-95. Let’s try the coffee shop and then that park near here.”
Just as the two of them headed back down the walkway toward their cars, they heard Beverly’s front door squeak open. They turned to see their youngest sister standing in the doorway looking tired and despondent in bare feet and some old pink-and-white pajamas.
They rushed up the walkway to the door.
“What the hell is going on with you?” Charmaine snapped. “What took you so long to come to the door?”
“Good to see you too,” Beverly said sarcastically as she stepped aside and let them enter. Charmaine brushed past first and then Evelyn stepped in. As Beverly turned her back to them to shut the door, Evelyn nudged Charmaine on the arm and gave her a look imploring her to chill. The three of them walked into the living room and sat, Charmaine and Evelyn on the couch, Beverly on a side chair in front of the window. Beverly curled her feet up into the chair and looked as if she were bracing herself for the criticism that she knew was coming.
“Ma has been calling and calling you,” Evelyn said. Evelyn thought she’d try the guilt approach first. If anything would snap Beverly out of this attitude it would be the feelings of their parents.
Beverly sighed. “I know and I’ll get in touch with her soon. But I’m not ready to talk to anyone now.”
“What happened?” Evelyn asked. “What’s wrong?”
“I just don’t feel right,” Beverly said. “I’m so confused.”
“You’re being pretty damn selfish, if you ask me,” Charmaine said.
“Well, I’m not asking you,” Beverly said sharply.
“Look, Beverly,” Charmaine said. “This isn’t just about you. Julian’s worried half out of his mind too. He called and said you were having second thoughts about the wedding. Is that true?”
Beverly’s jaw clenched. “Yes.”
Evelyn twisted her lips with regret. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Charmaine rolled her eyes to the ceiling.
“I know y’all think I’m being silly or childish or whatever, but I can’t help what I feel,” Beverly said.
“No, you can’t,” Evelyn said. “But it’s not all that unusual to feel nervous just before your wedding, Beverly. Please try and get some perspective.”
“Heck,” Charmaine said. “I was scared before all four of mine, but I still went through with them.”
“Thanks, Charmaine,” Beverly said glumly. “That makes me feel a hell of a lot better, given that you’ve also been divorced three times.”
Charmaine smiled sheepishly. “You know what I meant. It’s natural to get cold feet.”
“I just ask that you consider this carefully before you do anything rash,” Evelyn said.
“What do you think I’m doing?” Beverly asked, clutching a pillow from the chair tightly in her arms. “That’s why I haven’t answered the phone. I need time to think, and I can’t think with everybody bugging me.”
“Why now, Bev?” Charmaine asked. “Why are you doing this now? That’s what gets me. You’ve had months to think about this—that’s partly what long engagements are for—and yet you wait until the day before the wedding to pull this. Why?”
“A lot of stuff has come up recently. You have to admit that.”
“This is about Valerie and Kevin, isn’t it?” Evelyn asked.
“Partly, yes. And you and Kevin and the problems that Charm and Tyrone are having.”
“We made up,” Charmaine said. “We’re fine.”
“For now, yeah,” Beverly said. “But what about next month? Or the month after that?”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence in my marriage,” Charmaine said.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Beverly said. “But I’m scared and I’ll admit it.”
Charmaine was about to tell Beverly that she needed to snap out of the funk she was in when the telephone rang. Evelyn stood and headed toward the kitchen, where the extension was. “I’m going to answer that. It could be Mama or Julian.”
“You can answer if you want,” Beverly said. “But I’m not talking to anyone yet.”
“I understand,” Evelyn said. “But they need to know that you’re all right.” Evelyn left the room and tossed Charmaine a don’t-betoo-hard-on-her look. Charmaine had already decided that being tough on Beverly would probably only frighten her further. She had noticed how tightly Beverly was curled up in her seat and how she seemed to be withering right before their eyes. The girl was frightened out of her mind.
“You really are afraid to go through with this, aren’t you?” Charmaine asked in a gentle voice.
“Yes,” Beverly said. “Do you think I want to do this? I know that it will hurt a lot of people if I back out now, and it’s killing me. But so is the idea of going through with it.”
Charmaine nodded with understanding. “If you’re that scared, then don’t go through with it.”
Beverly blinked. “You don’t really mean that.”
“Damn sure do. A lot of people will be disappointed
, me included. And poor Julian. It will crush him. But it will be worse for the both of you if you get married when you have serious doubts.”
“I do have doubts,” Beverly said. “I don’t know how serious they are, but I do have doubts.”
“About Julian?”
Beverly nodded.
“Did he do something that brought this on?”
“It’s more what he didn’t do,” Beverly said. She paused when Evelyn entered the room.
“That was Mama,” Evelyn said. “I told her you were fine and that I’d call her back.”
“Did you tell her that Beverly is having second thoughts?” Charmaine asked.
Evelyn shook her head. “I don’t want to worry her yet. I told her something had come up, but that we were working it out and that I’d call her back when I knew more. I don’t think we should tell her the whole story until we’re certain what’s going to happen.”
“I agree,” Charmaine said. “Beverly was just about to tell me why she suddenly has doubts about Julian.”
Evelyn sat back down on the couch. “Go on, please. I need to hear this.”
Beverly straightened her legs and planted her feet on the floor. In a way she felt relieved to be talking about this with her sisters. She knew she could count on them to be straightforward and honest with her. She might not agree with what they said, but they would be fair. “I went to Valerie’s house a few days ago to talk to her.”
“You spoke to her?” Charmaine asked with surprise.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Evelyn asked.
“I just didn’t. It wasn’t a nice exchange. In fact, it got real nasty and I slapped her.”
“No, you didn’t,” Charmaine said, clearly surprised.
“What did she say that made you hit her?” Evelyn asked.
“She was very defensive about what happened with Kevin. She even had the nerve to tell me that it wasn’t all that bad, because he and Evelyn were separated at the time it happened.”
Charmaine scoffed and shook her head incredulously.
“She’s saying anything to justify it,” Evelyn said with a wave of her hand.
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