“All your relatives just disappeared from your life?” Lars checked.
“They didn’t even come to her funeral,” Nicole said sadly. “It was just me and Stan. Nobody else.”
“And before that, you visited, talked, had real relationships?”
“Yeah, we had moved away from Ohio by then, so I hadn’t seen my aunts and cousins in a couple of years. But we had stayed in touch. But after my mom died, they didn’t call and when I called them they didn’t return my calls. Not even my Grandma. Stan said they didn’t want to get stuck with me.”
Lars regarded her down-bent head sympathetically. Just talking about this was making her sad. This was obviously a hurt that had never healed. “I think you have to let me see if I can find some of those relatives of yours. This whole story sounds incredibly fishy. For a start, Nicole, if your stepfather wanted to keep you, there ought to have been bureaucratic hurdles for him to jump over, unless he had adopted you.”
He paused in thought. “Were you ever interviewed by a social worker?”
Nicole shook her head. “Stan didn’t adopt me before or after Mom died. The day after my mom’s funeral, we got in Stan’s van and we drove to Pennsylvania. No interview, no nothing. That job didn’t work out, and a couple weeks later we moved again. We hopscotched across the States for the next two years. It looked like Stan could never keep a job after my mom died. But he never suggested leaving me behind.”
“And did you have time to go to school, and make new friends?” Lars asked her.
“I was always enrolled in school, but then I would be pulled out because Stan had heard about a job somewhere else. It’s hard to make friends when you’re the new kid, and trying to catch up with everybody else.”
“So how did an out-of-work guy suddenly afford an expensive trip to Argentina?”
“Stan won a lottery,” Nicole said. Her eyes widened. “At least, that’s what he told me.”
“Let’s take it as given that Felipe paid for that trip,” Lars said. “Why Argentina?”
“My mother’s people were originally from Spain. My great-great-grandfather settled in Argentina between the World Wars. My great-grandmother left Argentina with her husband just after they married, and came to America. She never went back.
“Stan said my great-grandmother’s younger sisters were still alive and had written, wanting me to visit. He showed me letters. Of course, I know now that they didn’t write them. Tia Evita and Tia Luisa spoke a little English but they couldn’t write in it. And in any case, how would they have tracked me down when Stan and I were always skipping around the country? How could I have been such an idiot?”
He shook his head at her. “Stop being hard on yourself. You were sixteen and trusting. If Stan betrayed your trust, that makes him to blame.”
When she was smiling again, Lars continued. “So you went out to Argentina, expecting to touch base with your grandmother’s aunts? Is that right?”
“Yes. Stan told me all about the itinerary we were going to follow. I was beyond excited. The next thing I knew we were on a plane – I had never flown before – and then we were in Buenos Aires. I thought we were going to a hotel. We went to Felipe’s apartment building instead. I was half asleep – I think Stan put something in my food because I don’t really remember anything after the airport in Indianapolis.”
“And Felipe was there?”
“Yes. I sat half asleep in a chair while they haggled. I remember that Felipe was insisting on verifying his purchase. That’s what he said. ‘I’m not paying you a penny, until I verify the goods.’”
“Felipe wanted to make sure you were a virgin,” said Lars softly.
“I never understood that. But it seemed really important to him.” Nicole closed her eyes against the memories.
“A female cannot bear a child for a dragon unless she is herself a dragoness,” Lars explained again. “Our race doesn’t run to females. They are vanishingly rare, but a dragon who has sex with a virgin transforms her. It makes it important that a dragon’s mate be untouched. But I have never heard of a dragon who didn’t fall fast in love with the woman he transformed.”
“I assure you, that Felipe didn’t love me before, during, or after my ordeal,” Nicole said bitterly.
“Felipe was not representative of our race. It’s too bad he’s already dead.” Lars was so vehement that Nicole shrank away from him. “What became of Stan?” he asked softening his tone.
“I don’t know. I woke up transformed into a reptile. Felipe was furious. He kept shouting at me to turn back into a woman. It was awful. It hurt like nobody’s business. And at first I couldn’t figure out how to do it. And then when I transformed – my god – I was naked.” Her whole body shook.
“Don’t upset yourself.” Lars said. “If you give me his name, and his date of birth, and any other little tidbits you might have, I’ll try to trace your stepfather.”
She laughed mirthlessly. “I’ve spent years trying to track down Stan Upshaw. It’s like he vanished off the face of the earth.”
“Maybe he did. Balcazar Mendez was a treacherous SOB. Or maybe, Stan Upshaw was never his name.”
“I never thought of that.” She shook her head.
“Why should you have? Did you ever try and get in touch with any of your US relatives after you came to Argentina?”
“No. I used the Internet at the library to keep tabs on Felipe. And to try and find Stan. But I didn’t dare to do anything that would lead Felipe to me – like contact people with my real name. And since he died, I’ve been putting it off.” He could hear the deep hurt in her voice. It made him feel murderous. Stan Upshaw would wish he had died when Lars was through with him.
“Tell me a little bit more about your mother’s death. How long had she been ill?” he asked.
“For about a month before she was diagnosed. Mom had surgery about two weeks after she found out about the cancer. And then she had six weeks of radiation and chemo. She was awfully sick. And then when we thought she was on the mend, in the middle of the night she took a bad turn. Stan took her to the hospital. They tried another operation, but she died on the table. I never saw her again. By the time I was able to get to the hospital, they had taken her away. And then Stan had her cremated.”
“I think that story needs a little more investigation, Nicole. What was her name? Her full name and date of birth.”
“Alicia Hastings Upshaw,” Nicole said promptly. “I’ll write it down for you.” She went across to the desk and began to hunt through the drawers for pencil and paper. She wrote down everything she could remember about Stan and her mother.
“While you’re at it, write down the names of any relatives you can remember. I’m going to see if we can get to the bottom of this.”
“Since Felipe died, I’ve often wondered how much of what Stan told me about Grammy and Gramps writing us off was true.” Nicole sighed. “I must sound like the most credulous and cowardly fool on the planet.”
“No. You sound like someone who was snookered. When grown-ups deceive a child, it’s never the child’s fault. And I don’t think your courage is in doubt.”
“What do you really think happened to Stan?” Nicole asked.
“My gut feeling is that either he got enough money to make himself a whole new life with a different name, or Felipe took care of him permanently,” Lars replied.
“Killed him, you mean?”
Lars nodded. “Felipe was mixed up with a lot of bad people.” He looked at the list that Nicole had given him. “I’m going to put investigators on this. I know some discreet people. They’ll leave you out of it. There’s just one more thing, did Felipe ever introduce you to anyone?”
“Other than his housekeeper and the doorman, no one at all. After we got married, he hardly let me leave his apartment. But then he went away for several days, and I realized there was nothing to prevent me from going outside. Only I didn’t have any money, so I couldn’t buy anything or run away or anything. I
had to come back to the apartment. He was pretty mad when he found out I’d been going for walks.” Nicole sat down and hugged her cushion again. “He shook me so hard my teeth rattled.”
“How did you get away?”
“I persuaded him that I had only wanted some fresh air. That I would only go as far as the park that was visible from our apartment. I guess he figured that since I didn’t have any money, I couldn’t get very far. But he was also careless. When he came home, he would just empty out his pockets and throw the change on the dresser.
“His housekeeper was really honest, and Flora had just been tucking his coins away into a vase for years. So I helped myself. I took a little at a time, and when I went out, I would change the coins for paper money. When I thought I had enough to get to Santa Rosa del Pampas, I waited until Felipe left on a trip.”
“You mean he would just go away and leave you alone?” Lars sounded appalled.
She nodded. “Once he had me sufficiently cowed, all he wanted was for me to shut up and lie still. He wasn’t interested in conversation, and he certainly wasn’t interested in my feelings. But that last time, as soon as he got into the limousine to go to the airport, I went for my usual walk.
“On previous occasions, I had found the public library. My Spanish was pretty good. We spoke Spanish with my Grandma, and I had lessons at the church, and I took it in high school. The library let me use their computers, so it wasn’t hard to find the Bernals. I knew where to go.
“It wasn’t as though I had much to leave behind. Felipe had taken my passport even before he married me. I found our marriage certificate in a drawer in his desk – I don’t think he thought it was really important. So I took that with me, and I headed for Santa Rosa del Pampas.”
“All by yourself?” Lars asked.
“Yes, and all I could afford were those minibuses the peasants use to go to market. The express bus cost too much. I figured that Felipe would have a harder time tracing me if I was on a bunch of different buses.”
“Did he know about your aunts?” Inquired Lars.
“I don’t really know. Maybe. If Stan told him. But, of course, Stan had not really contacted my aunts. Maybe he never told Felipe anything about them. I never figured out why Felipe didn’t find me. My aunts were sure he would be fetching me back within days. They thought the likeliest thing would be that my husband would come, beat me senseless, and take me back to Buenos Aires. They were appalled by my story, but in Argentina wives are more like chattels than not.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
It was weird how having Lars tell her that she had been bamboozled replaced her feelings of fear with cathartic anger. Had Stan really had a plan when they went to Pennsylvania? At the time Nicole had felt so utterly abandoned and devastated by Mom’s death that she had just been going through the motions of breathing and eating. She could remember that for all he pretended to be sympathetic, Stan had also kept telling her to snap out of it.
Despite Lars’ reassuring words, she didn’t trust her feelings for him. He was a very attractive man. When he stood close beside her, her whole body hummed with unfamiliar feelings. But look what had happened when she had met Felipe. She had been flattered by his attention and his compliments. Not that Lars had anything flowery to say. He was kind and practical, and blunt to a fault.
Matteo idolized him. It was almost comical to watch her little boy imitate his slightest action. She only hoped Lars proved to be a good role model. So far, everything he had done for the boy had helped him to settle into an unfamiliar situation, or taught him something. And yet, Nicole didn’t feel that she could trust her heart to this almost stranger she had married, even though her body vibrated whenever he was near.
She had never been pretty, and since she had had Matt, she certainly was no longer shapely. Her breasts were too big, and they had stretch marks, just like her thighs and belly. Her hair was a mop of curls, and it didn’t matter if she left it loose, or tied it up out of the way, it was certainly not her best feature. Maybe Lars was just trying it on, since she was all there was on this island?
And yet long dormant feelings – needs – were making themselves known. She desperately wished she had not rejected Lars’ kiss. Her lips still tingled, just as they had done when he kissed her at the Villa Mendoza. She wondered if her longing showed on her face.
“Would you kiss me again?” she blurted.
“With the greatest of pleasure.” There was surprise in his deep voice. But he closed the gap between them and brushed his lips over hers.
Felipe had never taken the trouble to kiss his fat wife. And she had never had a boyfriend. She had nothing against which to compare the gentle press of Lars’ lips against hers. Except for what she had read. But she discounted those overblown descriptions. Lars didn’t seem to have read those books. He didn’t try to part her lips and force his tongue into her mouth. He just kissed her, raised his head and smiled down at her.
Her books were still a barrier between them. His eyes twinkled. He looked less grim. Younger. “Enough?” he asked.
Nicole swallowed hard. “I don’t know,” she whispered.
“May I hold you?” he asked.
“Hold me?”
“In my arms,” he clarified. “You could put down your shield and see if you like being kissed.”
Wordlessly she handed him her books. He set them down on the coffee table and reached for her hands. His big fingers went between hers and meshed them palm to palm. Where their skin touched sparks seemed to shoot down her arms to her heart.
He bent his head. This time he kissed the corner of her mouth and then the bow of her lip and the other corner. His mustache and beard tickled. Wherever they brushed her skin tingled. She made a murmurous objection when he moved away from her lips. He did not attempt to use their entwined hands to bring her closer.
And then his tongue tasted her jawline and she jumped as her heart began to race and she was no longer thinking – she was feeling. His body moistened – just like hers. Whatever there was between them, it was mutual. She leaned forward and let her lips part over his. Nothing. Didn’t he want her?
She tasted his lips with her tongue. His beard prickled her sensitive tongue. She couldn’t help her hands clenching around his. As if that was the signal for which he had been waiting, Lars tugged gently.
“Okay?” he murmured.
“Yes.”
He let go of her hands and ran his palms up her back from waist to neck. He hugged her against his body. He felt like warm granite. His muscles pressed into her softness and everywhere they touched she felt a tingling delight. His lips sucked her lower lip. He nibbled softly and breathed where he had nipped and tickled. It felt like the sexiest thing she had ever experienced.
Pleasure streaked like lightning through her body, awakening places she had never thought could feel arousal. Her breath was as heavy as Lars’, her skin as flushed. When he pulled her even closer and his tongue tangled softly against hers she wound her arms around his neck and held on. Her whole body was shaking.
And then he pulled back and smiled wistfully down at her.
“I want you to think about making our marriage a real one,” he said.
What? How had they gotten from kisses to marriage? Lars stopped her when she would have pulled away. He didn’t grip her hands tightly enough that she couldn’t get loose, but he halted her instinctive retreat.
“What do you mean by a real marriage?” she asked through lips that had stiffened with fear.
“Just an ordinary marriage, Nicole. I think we could be happy together.” She heard him swallow. And she knew her answer mattered a great deal to him.
“Why?”
“It’s been a long time since I was as happy as I have been this last week. Your fireling needs a father, and I need a son. I’ve been lonely since my wife died. But I don’t feel lonely around you and Matteo.”
“I’ve never thought about marriage – not to anyone,” she said.
“I haven’t said it right,” he said cupping her elbows. “But I don’t want to tell you lies, Nicole. You have had too many lies, and too much unkindness.”
“So you’re not saying you fallen madly in love with me?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’m still in love with Annalise.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to have sex? That you’re looking for a companionate marriage?”
Her questions surprised him. His deep laugh rang out. He brought her hand to his mouth and brushed it with his lips. His mustache and beard tickled and more electricity ran up her arm to her heart.
“No,” he said. “Sex is part of marriage. In the last week I’ve felt as though I’m coming out from under a black cloud. Getting back to normal. That’s one of the reasons I think a marriage between us would work. Ever since we flew together in Argentina, I’ve known we would be good together. It feels like we have established a bond.”
“I don’t like sex.” Her bald words dropped into the silence between them.
“How about making love? I’m pretty sure you’ve not tried that.”
“You’re not in love with me, but you think we would be making love?”
“Sure. It’s not as though I feel no affection for you. I do. I enjoy your company. And there’s a spark. And Matteo is a great kid. I would be honored to be his father.”
“Thank you.” Nicole fell silent again.
* * *
“What was she like?” Nicole asked.
Lars shrugged. He didn’t want to talk about Annalise when he was about to betray her memory. But Nicole’s face was grave with worry. “She was beautiful – inside and out.” He scrolled through the photos on his phone and showed Annalise’s picture to Nicole.
“How long were you married?”
“Three years. But I had loved her since I was nineteen.”
Dragon's Possession (BBW / Dragon Shifter Romance) (Lords of the Dragon Islands Book 4) Page 16