Finding June

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Finding June Page 9

by Caitlin Kerry


  Oh holy swoon. No one had said anything even remotely that sweet or romantic to me before. I was seriously starting to doubt his friendly actions. “Thanks,” was my lame reply.

  “Are you okay? You seemed pretty upset when you saw Owen. You know you’re better off without him, right?” Concern was evident in Reece’s tone.

  “I don’t miss being with Owen. I was in love with the idea of a relationship, not in love with him. But … he was a large part of my life for three years. I can never erase that or who I was with him. It hurts, Reece, to know that you weren’t enough. My parents think I’m this failure and are always pushing me to be better. Owen didn’t even push me, just let me go. Some days it’s hard to know if I will ever be enough for someone … or even myself.”

  Reece lifted his hands to my face, running them through my hair. “You will find that person who won’t want you to be enough, but to be everything. You will be their everything without changing a damn thing. You’ll find that because you are more than enough, you are so full of life. Stop listening to whoever they are, they don’t know what’s truly inside of you.” We were so close. If I shifted my head ever so slightly, our lips would be touching, a joining of the passion radiating through both of us in this moment. He spoke again, “I believe in you.” While his words were quiet, there was strength behind them, a conviction so strong the only thing I could do was believe him. I couldn’t look away from him, his eyes really were like the forest floor. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to be lost in him. He sighed and kissed me softly on my head, clearing my mind of any lust-filled thoughts.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He snuck out of the door, and as it closed I put my head against it. His kind words had made me forget about the Owen bombshell. I was now only thinking of Reece, his words, his tiny sweet kisses, and the passion he made me feel.

  The rest of the week at work I was hyper aware of Reece and his actions. We skirted around each other, but I always had his tiny kisses in the back of my mind. I was drawn to him and there was no explanation for it, so I did what any girl would do, I drew back. Letting go of your perceived notions and pressures, I felt, was hard. I wasn’t perfect and it was going to take some time. I still made small talk, but I tried to steer away from the hard-hitting conversations we had lately. I was taking time to process.

  It was the Saturday before we were going up to Jo’s parents cabin for her birthday. There were only a few tables in the restaurant, but it seemed to be eerily quiet. I wasn’t the only one to notice. Jolene looked to me, and then the door. “This isn’t good, is it? It’s like the calm before the storm. I have a bad feeling about this.” I couldn’t help but agree. I heard another deep voice behind me.

  “Ladies, how bad could it get? It’s been a pretty slow day.” I knew, I just knew at that moment Reece had totally screwed us over.

  I sighed.

  “What?” Reece asked.

  “You jinxed it, we are now going to get our asses kicked. You watch.”

  Reece responded with a smirk, not believing me at all. Oh, he was in for a ride, that was for sure. I glanced to Reece as he stood there in his six-foot hotness, and then I thought about what taking a ride with him would actually be like. I blanched as the thought unwarrantedly crept into my mind. Dammit! It was hard to process my emotions when I couldn’t help picturing him naked. I diverted my focus to Jolene and her latest crazy story.

  It didn’t take long for me to prove Reece right. Oh so right. Oh, and I was in full on panic mode. Apparently no one let us know that there was an expo at the college and it had just gotten over. They came in masses, and I was currently working toward grabbing drinks for a table of fifteen while I watched myself get sat three more times.

  Fuck. Me.

  I usually didn’t get panicked, but I was a bit overwhelmed at this moment. Okay, that was a fucking lie, I was sinking. It’s not that there weren’t people to help me, but serving was the ultimate team sport and at the same time it was completely reliant on you and yourself alone.

  When everyone came in at the same time, all of the servers were at the drink station. It was a tight fit, a close contact sport, and it was rare in a shift when I wasn’t being manhandled in some way, unmeaning of course. It was at the point where I felt like I was having a slight panic attack, which never happened. As I tried to remain as calm as possible, I quickly looked to my left to see Reece at my side. He locked eyes with me for only a few seconds and I quickly went back to putting ice in my glasses. He sighed, and suddenly Reece was grabbing my arm, jerking me out of the frenzy of servers grabbing drinks.

  “What the hell!” I practically screamed, not even thinking about the craziness that was happening around me or the guests that could hear.

  Reece calmly put both his hands on my arms with a firm grip, which in a way helped, it focused on me.

  “June,” he commanded. “Stop. Look at me.”

  I did and I glanced up to his forest eyes feeling a tiny bit calmer.

  He softly instructed me, “You need to breathe. Stop and breathe.”

  I took in a big breath and felt the panic attack quickly subside as I said, “I never get this way, but I’m fine. I can do this.” I wasn’t sure if I was talking to Reece or myself.

  “June, we’re going to do this together, okay? We’ll team up our sections since we are both next to each other. You take the drinks out to the big top and I will focus on the rest of the tables, okay?”

  I didn’t have to think about the fact that we generally didn’t team serve here, or that I was trusting Reece with my tables, which was really trusting him with my income. I didn’t have time, so I agreed and we were off to take care of the madness.

  And, surprisingly, the next hour and half went pretty damn smooth. Reece and I worked well together; we had this weird natural rhythm. We knew what the other person needed and was able to grab it before anyone asked. Our tables loved us and we made pretty decent money. Reece was the server that did everything fast, but made sure each table was taken care of.

  Reece and I made a good team, but I was still completely aware of him. Of him softly putting his hand on the small of my back as he passed behind me. When he handed me food or a glass our fingers would graze over each other. Or when he thought I wasn’t looking, I could see him taking quick glances at me, when he was taking an order or walking up to the door. I saw it all, and it made me feel that even though the whole restaurant was full and everyone was in intense work mode to get through the rush, Reece still made me feel like I was the only one in the room.

  With that thought, I saw most of the tables leave, with only a few left here and there. I took the opportunity to take a quick break. I walked out into the brisk autumn day. Unfortunately, it was in the back of the restaurant, so my fall day had the view of trash cans and the smell of smoke lingering from Bethany, who had just taken a break. I took a deep breath and put my hands on my knees, leaning over.

  It didn’t matter how long you had been serving or how good you were, when the restaurant filled up in less than twenty minutes, you were never prepared. However, it seemed Reece was prepared. He was calm throughout the whole damn rush.

  The door opened and of course Reece walked out. Even with ranch on his shirt and some other unidentified substance he had wiped on his apron, he still had that rugged handsomeness. For a brief moment, I was overtaken, my thoughts lost. So, to do what I do best, I ruined the moment.

  “Why did you help me?” I quietly asked, and I felt like it was a legitimate question. No one had really helped me in that way, by team serving. I mean, someone made me a salad or ran my food once in a while, but usually when it got that busy it was a fend for yourself kind of day.

  Reece put his hands on his hips and addressed me, “You were panicking, June, and I have never seen you like that before. I should say I usually don’t catch it. You try to act like nothing is wrong, but when I looked at you as you were grabbing drinks, I saw turmoil in your eyes. Your eyes gave it away. Your eyes alwa
ys give it away. How could I not help?”

  I opened my mouth, but … well, nothing came out. He had the uncanny ability to leave me speechless. It was the strangest fucking thing.

  Reece held out his hand, handing me a stack of cash. “Anyway, here is your half from our tables. We made out like bandits, so any other time you want to team serve again, please, let me know. I would kill to make what we just did in the last ninety minutes.”

  “Thanks.” I took the cash out of his hand. I had to say more, I knew it.

  “And thanks for helping me, no one really has before. Not like that.”

  Reece’s smile lit up his face as he turned back to me. “Oh, June, you really don’t get it. I’m here for you. All you have to do is ask.” Reece smiled and squeezed my shoulder, lingering for a few seconds, and walked back inside, getting in the last word again.

  I watched him take the few steps to the door. Emotions swirled through me, bursting out and I couldn’t stop myself from yelling, “Stop,” as he reached the door.

  Reece slowly turned around, caught off guard by my sudden outburst, and casually said, “Yes …” The smile still plastered on his face.

  “Stop doing that!” Hello there irrational June, it has been a while.

  “Stop doing what?”

  “Stop always getting in the last word. I hear you. I’m a mess who doesn’t know how to live her life! I get it. Stop trying to fix me!” All of the stress from the rush and the emotions I had no control over were bubbling over, and I was letting them all out on Reece. His green eyes scanned my face and his mouth was set in a thin line.

  “You’re not a mess up. But, you are an idiot—”

  Although I knew he wasn’t done with his statement, I was enraged and let out a small war cry. Everything I had been feeling this last month, at this moment, was too much. I took a few steps and pushed against his chest, letting out the pent up emotions running through me. I couldn’t help myself right now. Reece had the bad fortune of being on the receiving end of my more intense moments.

  I was still trying to wail on Reece when he grabbed my wrists and held them to his chest as I struggled, anger radiating off me. “June! Jesus, calm the fuck down. Let me finish. You’re not a mess up. You’re a smart girl trying to figure out your life. But you’re an idiot because it is not true that nothing affects me. You affect me! Don’t you see, you silly damn girl? I am wholeheartedly affected by you!”

  I suddenly stopped struggling in his arms. My eyes were wide and my mouth open, making me look like a scared animal lost in the forest. His grip on me became softer as his hands wrapped around mine. He started to move his thumb around in small circles and stared directly into my eyes, not letting go. He softly said again, “You affect me.”

  I had yet to say a word, but instead crushed my lips to him. If I couldn’t yell I could sure as fuck kiss him. At first, it was only a hard meeting of lips, a rush of pent up tension finding release. But then it became more, just like I feared and hoped it would. He was caught off guard at first, but quickly sank into the kiss, opening my mouth while sneaking his tongue into mine. I took my hands away from his and put them through his waves of mahogany hair as our kiss continued. He wrapped his hands around my waist, leaning me back. The meeting of our mouths were frantic and heated as we discovered each other for the first time. The tension we had in the last month hit a point of combustion in this first kiss. It was full of passion, more passion than I had ever felt. I was falling farther into this rabbit hole that was Reece Day.

  As I threw the last of my stuff in a bag, I heard a knock on the door. Jo had texted me ten minutes ago saying my ride would be here soon. Jo was actually on time, which for her was weird.

  I opened the door to find Reece.

  Again.

  “I’m going to kill her.”

  Reece walked past me and into my living room, completely ignoring my death threats.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Where is your stuff, I can grab it for you,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. He was wearing cargo pants with hiking boots and had a long-sleeved thermal shirt with a nice fitted black jacket on. Apparently, we were not going to talk about me attacking him yesterday with my mouth. I had left work so freaking embarrassed, I hid away in my apartment, watched Rent and drank two beers. With the emotional mess I was and the beers, I quickly passed out last night. I had a slight headache this morning, but I had popped a few ibuprofen and had some coffee. While my headache was gone, sadly my embarrassment was not.

  “Where’s Jolene? I thought she was going to pick me up?”

  “She asked me to drive you. She rode up with Bethany, Timmy, and one of his friends.”

  Oh yes, Timmy the Bartender. Reece grabbed my bag and asked, “This is it?”

  “Yep, I travel light.”

  “Cool.”

  I guess we weren’t going to talk about yesterday and I was more than okay with it, but unease settled over us, an unease we weren’t used to. I had fought hard for the friendship we had, not wanting to complicate things, but then I went and did a stupid thing like kiss him. A passionate kiss I had never experience with anyone else, but still a kiss. Friends don’t kiss without it becoming complicated.

  Why had I kissed him? I was attracted to him, but there were a sea of hot guys out there. No, I knew there was more to it. Reece treated me differently. He never let my insecurities become an issue and didn’t let me wallow too much in them. He challenged my views and forced me to see things differently.

  The slamming of the door took me out of my thoughts. I got into his beloved Eleanor and we were off into the mountains. This ride was different from the carefree one of Wednesday. I couldn’t shut off my mind; it was in overdrive. I couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday even though I was trying to keep a plain look on my face. I was known to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I didn’t want Reece to know what was running through my head. The road up to McCall was familiar, I had driven it many times and was able to get lost in the scenery, calming my head a bit.

  “You can plug in your phone if you want to listen to music.” Reece handed me the auxiliary cord. I took my phone out of my purse and put on Third Eye Blind, a band that never got old. As “Motorcycle Drive By” played through the speakers, Reece looked at me and said quietly, “No worries this weekend, June. Enjoy yourself. You don’t have to figure anything out right away.”

  I guess I wasn’t as good at hiding my emotions as I thought.

  So far the trip hadn’t gone at all like I had planned, but for me, that was nothing new. We had gotten to the cabin with little conversation between Reece and I. Dinner had been pleasant. It was the six of us, but Timmy and Bethany were trying to set Jolene up with Timmy’s friend, Frank, so it had been split up into a couple thing. Which of course left me and Reece paired up, only increasing the awkward haze that surrounded us.

  There were two bedrooms and a loft with a bed in it. Everyone had shacked up, but I refused to share a bed with Reece, who was in the loft. I would be fine on the couch. Reece offered to give me the bed, but I stubbornly refused. It was late at night when everyone finally went to sleep. The rest drank a lot of beer and tequila shots. I had a few beers, but wasn’t going overboard; I wanted to enjoy my weekend rather than be hungover. Finally, I had the living room to myself. I changed into my pajamas and grabbed a blanket to sleep with.

  It was quiet as I settled in with my cup of tea. The wind was blowing and I could hear the rustle of fallen leaves outside of the cabin. The fire was slowly burning through the logs that had been thrown on over an hour ago, a melody of reds and orange pulsing in the fireplace. There was a small light over the sink in the kitchen still on, giving a soft glow to the large room. I was starting to take in each moment I had to myself and was thankful for it. It gave me time to sort out my jumbled thoughts.

  I grabbed the book I had brought, remembering how much I had loved to read. As I started to read the steamy romance, it didn’t take lon
g for me to quickly drift off into a semi-sleep stage. I found myself in a dream, sensing someone behind me. I could hear water running, and in my dream I turned around to see Reece standing on a rock in the middle of a mystical lake with a waterfall flowing in the background. He was only wearing swim trunks, and the water droplets that were highlighted by the shining sun were placed ever so effectively on his chest, which by the looks of it, was a very nicely toned chest. He smiled his signature crooked half-smile, which irritated me and made my heart race at the same time. All I wanted to do was to jump into the lake and swim to him, close the distance as fast as I could, but instead I stood there frozen. He called to me, but all I did was stare. I saw him reach his hand up, and felt a pressure on my shoulder, only to refocus, finding myself on the couch with Reece’s face close by. The dreamy look he’d had in the dream was more concerned in real life.

  I came to my senses to see Reece was right in front of me with a well-toned chest, which matched the one I had seen in the dream. With this realization, I freaked and flailed.

  To my dismay, I freaked and flailed myself right off the couch, knocking off the—now cold—half cup of tea and spilling it all over the floor. As I hit the ground, I saw the tea mug flip and felt my head hit the coffee table. I was all grace at this point, and by grace I mean as graceful as an elephant. I’m pretty sure I had even made a noise that resembled one as well.

  Reece tried to grab me as I freaked and flailed, only to end up landing on top of me. In my attempts to get myself out of this awkward situation, which was becoming increasingly more awkward every second I was under Reece, I tried to turn myself so I was on my back to get a better bearing of what was going on. I flipped and found myself only inches away from Reece. A raging fire of heat radiated between us, both of us breathing heavily. I gently put my hand on his chest, his heart beating feverishly. We laid there, breathless, and it became apparent that I couldn’t figure out if I was breathless because of the falling or the fact Reece was on top of me in a compromising position. After what seemed to be forever, but was probably only a few moments, he quickly pushed himself off of me and brought himself to a standing position. He offered his hand and I grabbed it, hauling myself out of the tight space between the couch and coffee table.

 

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