“Yeah except for all of your stuff around the house.” I threw my hand over my face and took a deep breath. This was a lot to process at five in the morning. I was wide awake, but I didn’t want to think about what the next step was.
“Talk to me?” I asked Reece.
“What do you want me to talk about?” Reece stilled his hand on my upper leg and started to draw little circles on them. I shuddered at the feeling.
“We never really talked about the whole Caleb thing, him barging in.”
“So you want me to avoid your issues, but instead focus on mine?”
“Yep.”
“You’re lucky I like you, June. That’s the only reason why we are going to discuss it.” I gave him a small smile knowing I had won and took my hand off my face, adjusting and sitting up so I could see Reece as he talked to me.
“What do you want to know?”
“I guess I can turn your question on you and ask how you feel?”
Reece sat there and continued to run his fingers over my thigh, as he stared ahead at the record playing. It was quiet for a few moments as he processed what to say.
For a minute there I was sure he wasn’t going to answer, but he looked back toward me and said, “You know how people say time heals all wounds? That when you lose someone you love or care about, time will take care of it, and as time passes it hurts less?”
My experience with loss … well, of people, was limited, so I just nodded my head.
“That’s a lie. The hurt never goes away. It really doesn’t even lessen. What time does is give you a chance to learn how to live with it. The loss you experienced, the loss that took your breath away and made you feel like you couldn’t move, you learn how to breathe again, how to move. Time gives you a way to learn how to live with it. It never goes away, but you can go away. I left because it was hard to breathe. I couldn’t talk to Caleb after I found out he loved her, and I walked around with people giving me looks of pity. I couldn’t take the looks and the talk behind my back about it all. It was a horrible thing losing Rachel, but I was having a hard time living with it. So I left. When I was gone I felt like I could breathe a little easier. People didn’t know me and they didn’t know my story. I could let people in only as much as I let them. I had control over the situation and I didn’t have that here. There were no looks of pity or talking. I moved around because I was afraid of getting attached again, or losing focus on the people around me as I tried to be successful in life. Because Caleb was right, I was gone the day Rachel took her life, and a part of me hates myself for it. I was so consumed with what I wanted for myself I had blinders on and I didn’t see anyone else.
“At first I treated moving back like I was moving to another city. I didn’t talk to my parents or Caleb. They knew the house was left to me, but they didn’t even know I was in town for at least the first three weeks I was here. Hannah called me and I couldn’t lie to her. So how do I feel? I feel like sometimes I forget to breathe. It all came rushing back to me as I saw Caleb. When you grabbed my hand and I felt you next to me, your presence reminded me to breathe. June, there is something about you. You remind me to laugh and you bring a smile to my face. You make me feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind to and I haven’t felt that in a long time. You say you’re lost, but you know where you belong and all you have to do is admit it, figure out what it means and I have no doubt that you will succeed. That drive you have is contagious and I hope I can find a way to do the same thing.
“I’m tired of running away from everything. I want to know where I belong and I want to belong with you because with you, everything makes sense. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met, inside and out.”
I crawled into Reece’s lap and wrapped my arms around him, kissing his jaw, the corner of his mouth, and then on his lips. I felt him shiver beneath me. His arms came around me as together we sat there, finding strength from our embrace.
“I’ll stay,” I whispered.
I rested my cheek on his chest and he kissed me softly on the top of my head as he held me tightly. In the midst of the early morning, we were the anchors holding us in the storm. We fell asleep like that, wrapped in each other’s arms. I woke up when the sun broke through the wooden blinds. My neck was stiff and my legs had fallen asleep. I was sure Reece was more uncomfortable since I was still sitting in his lap. I moved off of his lap, waking him up, and grabbed my phone off the coffee table. It was ten thirty and Reece had to be at work at eleven. When I looked behind me, he was stretching.
“What time is it?”
“Ten thirty, you should get ready for work.”
Reece got off the couch, grabbed me, and kissed me something fierce.
“Later …” he said as he kissed me again on my forehead, softly blowing. While I was still dealing with the current shock of everything, the single word of ‘later’ made my heart race as I thought about the possibilities.
Reece jumped into the shower while I sat on the couch, trading my tea for coffee. About ten minutes later Reece came out of his bedroom, ready for work. He grabbed his keys, walked over to where I was sitting on the couch, and leaned down next to me. “I should be home around four or five depending. Hannah said she would come over after school with some clothes. Feel free to use my toothbrush or anything like that. If you need me to pick up anything I will on my way home. But other than that, do whatever you need to today.”
Reece looked like he wanted to say something else, but he decided not to. Instead, he grabbed me and kissed me. I put my hand behind his head and pulled him to deepen the kiss.
“If you keep doing that I will be late,” he murmured against my lips. I smiled and gave him one more quick kiss before pushing him away playfully.
“I will see you when I get home.”
And with that, Reece was out the door.
Home. He had said he would see me when he got home. My home was gone but was my new home with him?
I was sitting on the couch—drowning in Reece’s sweats and shirt—an hour after he left when I heard a knock on the door. I felt weird answering it, still not feeling completely comfortable in Reece’s house. I got up and looked through the window to see Hannah with a large bag in her hand.
“Heard a cat ruined your life?” she said, smiling.
That was one way to think about it.
Hannah held out a plastic bag to me. “Here, I brought you some clothes that are a lot better than my brother’s gross sweats.” I looked through the bag to find jeans and shirts. A bag from Target had new underwear and a few bras inside it.
I glanced up to Hannah. “How did you know my bra size?”
“Ummm ... Reece told me?” she said like it was a secret.
Well, wasn’t he observant. After further investigation I found a new brush, toothbrush, hair ties, and a pair of flip flops.
“Reece said this should hold you over while you wallow away in the house.” Hannah sat on the couch and made herself comfortable.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” I grabbed the toothbrush and opened the packaging. I ignored the wallow dig because she was pretty much right, plus I was sure Reece hadn’t stated it exactly that way. I was only going to sit in this house all day in Reece’s “gross” sweats, which I actually really liked. It had his smell, which made me think of our time at the top of the mountain.
Hannah answered my earlier question. “Yeah, that’s what Reece wants me to do, but sometimes you need a distraction. So here I am.” Hannah reached into her bag and pulled out season four and five of Gilmore Girls and popped the first disc in Reece’s blue ray player. How the girl knew I loved Gilmore Girls was another mystery, but being Reece’s sister I wasn’t as surprised. Either I was really easy to read or the whole family had psychic abilities.
I spent the next five hours watching Gilmore Girls with Hannah, laughing at the witty Lorelei Gilmore and wishing I was at least half as witty as her.
Hannah left shortly after three
since she had volleyball practice. I cleaned up the empty ice cream containers and wrappers from the sandwiches we’d had delivered. I decided it was time for me to actually get dressed for the day. I jumped into the shower, and afterwards put on the clothes that Hannah had dropped off.
I was almost done throwing my hair into a bun when I heard the front door open. I walked out of the bathroom that was connected to Reece’s room at the same time Reece came in, throwing off his black work shirt. The man was not wearing an undershirt and I was quite appreciative of that. He threw it in the hamper, walked up to me and kissed me gently on the mouth, then walked past me and started the shower.
It all seemed so … homey and comfortable. Of course that made my heart race at the easiness between us. We hadn’t even spoken a word, but we didn’t need any. Reece had this effect on me, the words he spoke woke something up in my soul, but the quiet times were the calm that I needed in times like this.
I went into the kitchen and searched through his fridge, trying to find something to cook for dinner. I didn’t make it far in my search when I felt strong hands on my waist as I was leaning up, looking into Reece’s cupboards. I lowered my heels and turned around to find him with a small smirk on his face. Our lips met; at first a light kiss, but it quickly deepened as I felt my insides melt at the tenderness of it. I moved my hands up to his face and kissed him hard enough to push him back a few steps, but he caught me and swung me around so I landed with my back against the fridge. I moved my hands through his hair and his moved down as he grabbed my thighs, making me grip my legs around him. Our lips were in a frantic rush to find each other’s, and when we did it was a race to see who would cave in first and let go. My hands gripped his gorgeous hair and his body smelled like fresh soap and rain. Reece reached up and took out the hair tie, letting my hair fall free, as he walked, with me in his arms, back to his bedroom. I moved my hands down to his shoulders, running my hands down his chest to reach for his jeans, wasting no time to unbutton them.
Reece lowered me onto the bed and I knew this time there wouldn’t be anyone knocking on the door interrupting us. Mostly because I wouldn’t let him leave. I sat up slightly and helped Reece with taking off the shirt I had only put on less than thirty minutes ago. I reached behind and unsnapped the bra. Reece took notice and moved his mouth down, lightly blowing kisses on my breasts, then taking my nipple in his mouth. The force of his light touches and hard sucking was like fire and ice, an intense feeling setting my senses on high alert. I couldn’t talk, but made small sounds of approval.
Every part of my skin he touched or kissed became ignited with heat, the feeling shooting straight to my core. My head was swimming in his touch, his mouth on me. His hands moved down to my jeans and quickly they were taken off, along with his own pants. I moaned softly as I felt his mouth kiss me on my hip bone and felt his hands take off my panties. “Fuck. You taste so sweet. You’re perfect.” Reece’s voice drifted into my already heavy head like a soft lyric from a hymn.
I felt his mouth slowly kiss me tenderly down from my hip bone to my warm center. As soon as his tongue entered me my eyes opened and I arched my back off the bed. His tongue and very able hands were devouring me. He moved his mouth and pushed two fingers into me as his mouth made contact with my clit, sucking and swirling his tongue. Waves of passion rushed through me as I came, filling me with the sensation of pure joy pulsing through my veins. My breathing was erratic and I kept shuddering as I came down from the high, Reece moving up and trailing open-mouthed kisses down my neck. I reached down and lined my fingers around the top of his boxers. He was less patient than me, and reached down and to take them off. We were both finally bare to each other and I took a minute to take him in with my eyes. He was stunning. His body was like a finely tuned machine and I was more than appreciative of it. I ran my hands up his chest and back down to grab his thickness in my hand. I heard him moan into my neck and that sound encouraged me to slowly run my hand up and down him. I heard him softly mumble my name and there was never a sweeter sound.
He raised his head and looked into my eyes. Passion, lust, and love filled his face.
“Are you sure, June?” he asked.
“I have never been more sure of anything in my life,” I replied, looking him straight in the eye. He kissed me with all of the passion he was showing in his eyes, and I felt him reach into the side table for what I was assuming was a condom.
I felt him at my entrance and he looked up at me once again, silently asking again if I was sure. I answered by raising my hips and he pushed inside of me. I gasped at the fullness of him. He slowly moved inside of me, an exquisite torture. I pleaded with him to move faster, his rhythm increasing and the intense pleasure building. I was in a daze of euphoria, our bodies moving together, heat building up, looking for an escape. Finally I fell again, everything coming apart at the seams . Reece came after me, following me off the cliff we had built. His voice echoed in my ears, “My sweet June.”
As we both came down from the high we had created, Reece laid next to me and I cuddled up to him with my head on his chest. We were both breathing hard, and besides the words we had said in passion, we hadn’t said anything.
And the thing was, it was something I needed. With Reece, it wasn’t meaningless words telling me everything would be okay, it was his belief in me that made me feel like I could figure this out, everything really would be okay. Reece didn’t have to say anything, but he had given me everything I needed. His touch made me feel cherished and alive. His thoughtful eyes staring at me made me feel like I wasn’t a girl down on her luck but rather a person who amazed him. And I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same way. He really did leave me in awe most days. From the small things he did to the grand gestures, I couldn’t help but admit I had fallen for Reece Day.
As we laid there, our breathing returned to normal and the room became darker as the sun went down.
“Welcome home.” I kissed him on his chest, right above his heart.
He laughed and hugged me closer. “Feel free to welcome me home like that anytime.”
This time I bit him.
He laughed harder and kissed me on the forehead. Snuggling in closer, I traced circles on his firm chest, similar to what he did to me in our times together.
Reece looked down to me and swiped a piece of hair out of my eye, tucking it behind my ear. “I wanted to do this a bit differently. I wanted romance and hearts and flowers, but I guess I got carried away.”
This time it was my turn to show him my smile. “Thank God, because I don’t think I could have waited any longer.”
Reece looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “Excited were we?”
“If we would have waited for the perfect time to be together, for the hearts and flowers, it would have never happened. If you haven’t noticed, things never seem to go my way.”
“Yeah, that is true …” Reece said with a hint of joke in his voice. Shaking my head, I got up and tried to find my clothes.
“Are you excited for tomorrow night?” Reece asked me as I put away the dishes.
“You really are still going to celebrate my birthday? I thought after all that has happened you weren’t up for it.” We were cleaning up after making a simple dinner of chicken and vegetables.
“Of course we’re going to celebrate it. It’s a time for something new, a new year full of possibilities. The fact your place burned down right before your birthday is a sign that twenty-four will be the best year ever.”
“It fucking better be because twenty-three sucked the big one.”
“It wasn’t all too bad, was it?”
“Well, let’s see. I did finish college and got my degree so that was a plus. But I also couldn’t find a job, my boyfriend dumped me on the sandy beaches of Mexico, I ran away from my friends and family in shame, I came back bitchy and resentful, oh … and then I lost all my shit in flames due to a cat named Miss Sprinkles. So, not too bad at all,” I replied, more choked up than I th
ought. Expressing out loud everything that had transpired in the last year made it seem so real and fresh. I grasped the edge of the counter as the realization of what had happened caused a tightness in my chest, and slowly the tears started to fall. I thought I couldn’t cry another tear after everything happened, but once again I was proven wrong.
“June?” Reece asked. He couldn’t see my face, but his arms came around me anyway. He knew. He always knew what was going through my mind. I turned into his arms and my quiet tears became more pronounce. I clutched his shirt and cried into it as his grasp became stronger. He didn’t say meaningless words; he knew I didn’t need them. Reece simply stroked his hand over my hair, soothing me without words. I cried over the crap life had thrown at me in the last year. I cried over losing myself, the hope I had thought was a guarantee. I was starting to realize nothing was a guarantee.
As the tears started to calm down, I felt Reece place his hand under my chin and lift my head up. He swiped his thumb over my cheek, wiping away the tears that still lingered.
“Tomorrow is a new day, June. Not only is it a new day, it is a new year for you. Every day you get to wake up and start fresh. Let each day being something magical. When I get to see you each new day, I know my day will be brighter. I hope I do the same for you?” he asked timidly.
“In the shit that is my life, you, Reece Day, are the shiny nickel that sticks out of said pile of shit.”
“A nickel? Really? I can’t at least be a quarter?”
“No, because quarters are easy to find. A nickel, though, is smaller and isn’t as easy to see.”
He softly laughed. “You never cease to amaze me with your wit. I just … I …” And he stopped. I was almost positive I knew what he was going to say.
“Say it,” I urged him on. “Say it because then maybe this year won’t be lost after all.” His arms were around me and I had put my hands on his shoulders, an embrace of lovers.
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