Finding June

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Finding June Page 24

by Caitlin Kerry


  He just smiled and said, “It’s your South America Survival Kit or SASK, patent pending of course.”

  I laughed and went to grab one of the packages out of the box, but Reece moved it out of my reach before I could get to one. I fake pouted as Reece laughed and handed me a small package wrapped in a shiny red paper.

  I opened it to find an older version iPod with headphones attached to it, the strings wrapped around.

  Before I could ask about it, Reece interjected and said, “This is my version of your letters. I snuck into your computer and loaded all of your music, and then added mine as well. I made playlists for you when you need them. You can look, they are labeled.” I turned on the iPod; there was about twenty different playlists labeled with fun names like, When you miss me, When I miss you, When you miss the cold, Songs that remind me of you, Songs that make me think of your beauty. It went on and on and I was utterly touched by this.

  “I figured you wouldn’t be taking your phone, and when I was moving around, music always made me feel connected to … life I guess? But I hope these songs will make you feel connected to me.”

  I didn’t know what to say. This was perfect for me and I was also amazed how well Reece understood me.

  Reece silently reached into the box and handed me the next package. This was larger and a bit misshapen. I unwrapped the paper to have a big sun hat flop out. I laughed as I put it on. “Everyone needs a hat. Don’t want your pretty little head to burn.” Reece handed me the next package, this one square and solid. It was a beautiful leather journal with a pen inside. “To write down your thoughts. Trust me, you’ll want to remember this.”

  The next package was a small box, and as I took off the paper, I discovered a burgundy velvet box that usually held jewelry. My heart sped up, not knowing what I would find or if I was ready to find out. I opened the box and saw a small golden hummingbird on a gold chain. It was a necklace. I examined it and turned it in my hand to find on the back it was engraved. It only had one word; a word that was simple in nature, but meant the world to me.

  Home.

  I wouldn’t cry, I wouldn’t cry, I kept telling myself even though I was failing miserably as the tears snuck out. I quickly wiped them away and handed the necklace to Reece. I turned around and lifted my hair, still wearing the sun hat, as he put the necklace on for me. The cold metal warmed on my skin and at that moment I knew this man would always be my home.

  As I turned back around I asked, “Why the bird?”

  “Birds fly away and they learn how to spread their wings, finding their own way in this world. You remind me of a bird, one full of passion. I love watching you spread your wings and fly. The home on the back is that even if we are apart you still will be my home, no matter how far you fly away.”

  I never did get to the last present, but instead launched myself into Reece’s arms and attacked him. He didn’t mind and soon not only was I missing my new hat but most of my clothes.

  The next day was Christmas Eve. Reece had to work the morning shift and I was getting everything ready for the next two days. I had baked cookies for Reece’s family and was wrapping the present we had gotten for them. Well, it was only a piece of paper, but I put it in a larger box for the surprise factor. It was a gift certificate for a photo session so they could get family pictures done, since they hadn’t for a long time. With Reece at home now, it was time for new family memories.

  I was picking up the wrapping paper on the ground from the night before that was ignored as Reece and I got lost in each other, and I found the one wrapped package I had yet to open. I wondered if Reece wanted me to wait for him to open it, but I had very little patience and was too curious. I debated about it for maybe thirty seconds before I ripped off the paper. I found a plain box and opened it. It was a cup. A travel mug, but it looked used. It was one of those mugs you put your own picture in. This one had a hand drawn white piece of paper with different kinds of animals on it. A lion, an elephant, giraffe, and a bear and it looked like a child drew it. I turned the cup around to see a name and a date, Reece Day, April 1995. I was holding the cup when Reece walked in the door. I looked up to him and saw him blush. I held up the cup and as he closed the door behind him he said, “I made it for my mom one year in school for Mother’s Day. They asked us to draw one of our favorite memories with our moms and mine was when she took me to the zoo when she was pregnant with Hannah. She loved it and used it all the time. I asked her if I could have it back and could give it to you. It’s silly, but I wanted you to have it.”

  “I love it,” I said as I walked up to him. “And I love you. Thank you for giving me pieces of you, it will make me feel more like I’m at home.” I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him, knowing our time for kisses were growing shorter each day.

  Family always meant dysfunction to me. On the outside, the Rosewoods always looked like a pretty typical family. A semi-decent nice place, three kids who didn’t do drugs or anything that needed to be hid from family and friends. Parents who didn’t get divorced and didn’t embarrass their kids. A typical family. It wasn’t a family people whispered about. On the inside, my parents had high expectations and not much care or warmth to spread. I had a strong family sense with Daniel, but the rest was just a lukewarm feeling.

  This was not true for the Day family. This family handled the shit life dealt with grace and love. They supported their kids regardless of the situation, even if it was difficult. This family was not afraid of the sticky situations of life and was willing to wade through it because they loved each other.

  This was the first time in three years the Day family had been together. Reece’s mom was baking and cooking up a storm and Hannah was helping her dad thread popcorn for garland. My family had gone through the same motions and actions of the Day family, but it lacked love and warmth that was unavoidable in the Day household. It had snowed a little earlier in the day but it had cleared up, the snow peeking through the lingering grey clouds. I was outside grabbing wood for the fire when Reece’s dad came out to help me.

  “I heard you are going on an adventure, June.” I hadn’t talked to Reece’s dad much and generally when meeting new people I was a little shy and a whole lot of awkward. It was my signature style.

  “You could call it that.” I had yet to really classify it as an adventure, mostly I was still scared shitless about it.

  I grabbed the next piece of wood and put it in the small pile next to me as Reece’s dad started to talk to me.

  “When Reece was a kid, around the age of eight or so, we went on a family vacation. We took a road trip down the coast. We were about to go over the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco when Reece had this anxiety attack. He was scared of the bridge and was afraid of falling into the water. We had to pull over, which I must say is difficult in the traffic, and got out of the car and walked up to the bridge. We were trying to show him it was perfectly safe, but he wasn’t having any of it. Now, I know my boy so I told him going over this bridge would be an adventure. Adventures were meant to be a little scary, but mostly full of new fun, exciting things. He thought about it for a few minutes, but then nodded his head and started to walk over the bridge. He didn’t even wait for us, and him only being eight I chased after him. I said we needed to get back in the car so we could drive over it, but he told me what fun would that be and insisted in walking across the whole bridge. I walked with him and his mother and Hannah, who was only a baby at this time, got back in the car and drove across the bridge, meeting us on the other side.”

  I was pretty sure he was trying to give me some advice here.

  “You are probably wondering why I’m telling you this.” By this time he was leaning on the woodpile, making it so I couldn’t grab anymore, but instead I had to focus on him. Like I said, I was weird with family and wasn’t used to parental advice.

  I didn’t say anything, but his dad continued, “I wasn’t lying about adventures being scary, because they are. But they are also extremely re
warding. I hated to see Reece leave, but I understood his reasons and I was excited to watch him grow up on his adventures. That doesn’t mean I’m not thrilled he is back home. I am and I’m happy he has you. Parents just want their kid to find happiness.” He patted me on the back, grabbed the wood I had set aside, and walked into the house. I was thankful for Reece and his family, even if I was awkward with it all. I followed and met up with Reece in the kitchen as he frosted sugar cookies.

  He blushed. “I got roped in. I had no choice, if I didn’t help, my mom said I wouldn’t get any cookies.”

  “You love it, admit it. I won’t judge.” I winked at him.

  “Ha! You will totally judge, but that’s okay. I still love you.” He leaned over the counter and kissed me quickly.

  It was the first time he had said those words in front of his family. I looked around to see Hannah stop stirring the caramel she was making and shoot me a huge smile. His mother was more subdued and simply smiled as she scooped cookies off a hot pan. I started to blush; great, now they knew how he felt about me and I was leaving. I hope they wouldn’t hate me if anything happened. I grabbed a cookie Reece had frosted, stuffed it in my mouth, and turned around to sit by the fireplace. The easiest way to deal with family awkwardness, walk away or stuff your face.

  The rest of the evening was truly wonderful; laughter and badly sung Christmas songs. Spiced eggnog and presents were exchanged. Since Reece and I had already exchanged presents, I sat and watched the rest. The Day family had the tradition of opening up presents on Christmas Eve rather than in the morning because in the morning they spent time making a huge breakfast and then going outside and finding things around the property to decorate a pine tree in the backyard. It was a cute tradition.

  That night Reece’s parents put both of us in his old room, having no issues with us spending the night together in the same room. Reece’s old room had pictures of him and Caleb during basketball and football season. Pictures of Reece during graduation, not looking as joyful as in other pictures, and other random mementos. Concert tickets and BSU tickets for football games. You could tell Reece was a boy that was involved in his high school career, a boy that had friends and memories.

  Reece came into the room after showering, breaking me from the fixation I had on his memories. I felt like I was snooping and I slightly jumped when his hands wrapped around my waist. My hand immediately went up to the golden bird laying on my collarbone. Even though I’d only had it a day, it already calmed me, much like the man who gave it to me. It was a small piece of sanity and safety in the following four months of adventure.

  Reece and I stood there, just holding each other as I watched the snow start to fall gently on the ground. I would miss winter. Winter was life pausing and I was doing the exact opposite.

  Christmas morning I woke up with the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls and coffee. It was a magical smell. After a huge breakfast with Reece’s family, we put on as many layers as possible and headed outside to decorate the Day’s Christmas pine tree. It was a perfect day.

  Shortly after four we said our good-byes. I got big hugs from Hannah and Reece’s dad. Gwen gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, “I’m so happy you’re a part of this family.”

  I blushed and smiled as Reece grabbed my hand and led me to the car. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I knew I would always love these people and did feel like a part of their family.

  As we drove back I asked Reece what his mother meant.

  He thought a few moments before answering. “My mom asked what my intentions were with you.”

  Oh. Well.

  “What did you tell her?

  Reece took his hand off the steering wheel and grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing my palm gently.

  “I told her you weren’t going anywhere.”

  I thought about his answer for a minute. Well, that was good, because I didn’t want to go anywhere either. Except for South America, but temporarily. I smiled at what he told his mom and sunk deeper into my seat in the old Jeep as we drove home.

  The snow, in true Idaho fashion, wasn’t just gliding down but falling in heavy blankets. It was New Year’s Day and I was packing short sleeve shirts and shorts in my suitcase as I watched the snow dump through the window. Reece’s backyard was turning into a winter wonderland. The large tree was now bare of leaves, only the spinally limbs jutting out in the grey backdrop, snow weighing down the limbs. I was actually pretty ecstatic I got to see a true Idaho snowstorm before I left. I double checked my list, making sure everything was packed and ready to go. Reece was sitting on the bed, not letting me out of his sight much since I was leaving tomorrow. I didn’t blame him, we had been inseparable lately.

  When I came back to Boise in September, I would have never guessed in a million years I would be standing here, packing to leave for six months and in love with a wonderful man. For once in my life, things were working in my favor. I felt in control, for the most part, about my life and my bare walls were slowly being filled with new memories.

  Zipping up the suitcase, I set it next to the door with the rest of the stuff I needed to take. I crawled into the large bed and snuggled with Reece, not wanting to end this moment.

  “What’s going through your head, pretty girl?”

  I was resting on Reece’s chest and could feel the steady beat of his heart, a constant beat I matched with my own, connected and strong.

  “I’m really doing this, aren’t I?” In many ways, it was still very surreal, leaving for six months, but I felt calm about it.

  “Yeah, you are. Still feeling nervous?”

  “I’m nervous about leaving the country and excited for whatever’s going to happen, but right now, being with you? I feel confident about it all. I can do this.”

  Reece ran his hands on my back, long movements up and down the length of my spine. “I never doubted you could.”

  “It hasn’t really set in this is our last night together until summer. But, I’ll email you every day, maybe even Skype once in a while.”

  Reece kissed on my forehead, blowing softly over the kiss he had just placed. The action was so personal to Reece and always made me feel cherished. “You know I’ll miss you terribly and I do hope I get to talk to you, but focus on yourself for this trip. I would love nothing more to hear from you every day, but I want you to embrace everything this trip has to offer. I’ll still be here when you get home.”

  “I love you.” Three words didn’t seem enough to tell him how much he had changed my life, or gave me the courage and strength to change my life for myself, no one else. His words always had such an impact on me, but he was the talented one at weaving words into masterful thoughts, and in this moment I was going to let my actions speak the words I didn’t know how to say. I lifted my head from his chest, connecting our lips and kissing him with all the love I had. I lifted his shirt off and took mine with it. Our mouths were in a slow dance, relishing in the soft touches and lingering feeling of our lips meeting, the quiet passion consuming us. I slipped out of my pants as I reached for Reece’s, taking his off, leaving us both naked, both in body and soul.

  His hands ran up my now bare back, pulling me closer then moving them to my hips, gripping them as he flipped me over and using his mouth on my neck. I gasped as his mouth moved down to my collarbone, the tension building and sliding through my body, only to rest at my warm center, pulsing and ready. As Reece took my breast in his mouth, swirling his tongue around me, he took his hard length and slipped inside me. The feeling of us joining together was more than I was expecting. It was more than just physical, but rather a deeper joining of two people wandering in this crazy life and finally finding home. Together as our pace intensified and our movements quickened, we found each other all over again. Our lovemaking came to a point where we were lost in each other, soon hitting that moment where it was only heightened feelings of love, tumbling into each other as passions swept through us, leaving us breathless.

>   Afterwards, with our legs still intertwined, we slowly fell asleep with the city glow under the grey clouds lighting up the darkened room. As the day turned into the next, I knew this was the day that marked a new chapter in my story, ready and willing to be filled.

  The last of my things were packed in my car and I stood outside in the fresh snow, taking in the winter air. When my time in South America was done, these trees would have bright green leaves on it, I would miss the winter and most of the spring. I would miss the awakening of the city as new growth graced the trees. But I was hoping to experience new growth as well; down in a country I knew little about with a language I was only somewhat fluent in and helping people in ways that changed their lives. That was all. No big deal. I reached up to the necklace I hadn’t taken off since Reece gave it to me. I felt Reece put his hand on the small of my back. He leaned in whispered in my ear, “You ready?”

  Was I ready?

  Was I ready when Owen turned my world upside down?

  Was I ready when I met Reece and he turned my world right side up? Who was ever really ready to deal with what life has to throw at you? You tell yourself you are a strong person, you have your life planned out and you think you are invincible. Until you’re not. Until shit goes wrong and the plan is totally fucked. You have to scrap the old plan and make a new one and you aren’t so sure about the new plan because it isn’t as shiny as the old plan, it isn’t as comforting or as safe. The new plan is scary as fuck, but has shiny moments. Perfect moments in the chaos as you try to figure shit out. And this time around, you know you’re strong enough to deal with it all. You know you were strong enough the whole time, but only had to see things a little differently, revise your story until it was the best fit for you.

 

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