“My orders are to be with you at all times.”
“We are literally in one of the safest towns in America. We’ll be fine. Why don’t you grab a beer and relax? Maybe take a walk with Corinne.”
“You know I can’t let you go without me,” Everett says, completely ignoring the rest of my comment.
I shrug and take Breanne’s hand. “Suit yourself.”
The three of us head into the woods, though to Everett’s credit he hangs back a few hundred yards. We reach our destination, and after Everett does a sweep of the inside, he leaves, shutting the door behind him.
“So this is the infamous barn,” Breanne says, looking around the dilapidated structure that has miraculously withstood countless winters.
“This is it,” I reply.
“It’s perfect,”
I walk slowly around the room, letting the flood of memories wash over me. Breanne’s right – there is something perfect about this barn. Over the years I’ve often thought about finding the owner and buying it so that it could really belong to me. For some reason having legal rights to this place would ruin the mystery and adventure of it all, and that was the best part when Alexis and I were kids. It energized us, made it our secret. And that’s exactly why I never follow through.
“Is this a wheel from a covered wagon?” Breanne asks, walking over to the rusted object.
“Probably. There’s a ton of old stuff like that in these woods. Alexis and I saved the cool stuff in an old suitcase we once found. I wonder if it’s still here.”
I climb a short ladder that leads to a small loft filled with hay,
“What’s in here?” Breanne asks, following me in.
“Buried treasure, I hope.”
I start digging through the hay in the back corner of the room, and am pleased when the suitcase Alexis and I used as our treasure chest is still there. I take the lid off and grab a handful of items to show to Breanne – fossils, arrowheads and parts of rusted tools. Breanne carefully picks out a few of the items, taking her time to study the intricate shapes of the different arrowheads. As she returns them to the box, I notice that something else has caught her attention. I lean forward, peering into the box and watch as she brushes a few items to the side. To my surprise, she pulls out an envelope, which she hands to me. Inside, there’s a letter.
Not all treasure is buried,
Some is simply locked away.
At times, dangling in front of you,
Or stored out of harms way.
Shattered glass can’t break our memories,
They aren’t measured with a clock.
You’re the one who holds the key,
She the door to unlock.
Guard the people and secrets you uncover,
As those who protect us sometimes lie.
When the tides have changed and the danger’s gone,
Make a wish and say goodbye.
1-4-3
“What is it?” Breanne asks.
I can’t find the words, so I shake my head, indicating that I need a minute to process. After reading it several times I still can’t decipher what Alexis was talking about. The only thing I know for sure is that by using 1-4-3, our childish code for ‘I love you’, she meant for me to find this and figure it out.
Given that Alexis somehow knew about Breanne, I’m fairly certain that ‘she the door to unlock’ refers to her. But what key do I have and what door needs to be unlocked? The safe at her house maybe?
The safe. 1-4-3. I close my eyes and visually recall the unlocking Alexis’s safe. Opening my eyes, I re-read her note. What was I supposed to find first? This letter or the safe? I shut my eyes again and replay the memory, hoping for it to reveal what Alexis kept inside, only to come up short. Pissed, I let out an aggravated growl and mutter ‘bullshit’ under my breath.
“Are you ok?” Breanne asks, tentatively placing her hand on my shoulder.
I shake my head and shoot upright. I begin wandering around the small room, sensing her eyes trailing my movement. It’s in that moment that I make the choice not to share this with Breanne. I need time to figure this out and I don’t want her to worry more than she already does. Shit, if she didn’t trust Spencer before, she definitely won’t now. I also don’t want to admit that the last part is making me worry. This involves the two of us, and right now things between us are great. Of course I’ll guard her. But why would we need to say goodbye?
Fuck that, Breanne and I will never say goodbye. We are forever.
The more I think about the possibility of not being with Breanne, the more agitated I become. I stuff the paper in my pocket and interlocking my hands behind my head.
Damn it, I want to punch something.
“Hey,” Breanne calls to me. She puts her hands on my chest and looks up at me.
My breathing is ragged and I badly wish I had my baseball bat and a bucket of balls.
“I’m guessing the note is from when you guys were little.” She phrases it as a statement but her tone reveals it’s a question.
“I can’t talk about it. Not right now.” I tell myself this is a true statement, though deep down I know I’m purposely misleading her.
“Ok,” she timidly replies.
Breanne approaches me and unlinks my hands, placing my arms behind her back. We gaze into each other’s eyes, neither of us saying a word. Pulling my face to hers, she caresses my nose with hers and then kisses me slowly.
“Let’s pretend this is our barn, Drew. I want to show you how things should have gone that day.”
She’s trying to take my mind off of whatever’s hurting me, and I’m trying to prevent her from experiencing more pain. Whether or not I keep Alexis’s note from her, it doesn’t matter. She knows something’s up, yet she won’t ask; she’s going to wait until I’m ready and for that I love her even more. The only thing I’m ready for right now is her.
“No. I’m going to show you.”
We moan in unison, our mouths clashing and our need for each other intensifying. She begins unbuttoning my shirt while our tongues dance. I’m not sure if it’s her sucking on my lower lip or her hands fumbling to unzip my jeans, but the rage I’ve been feeling towards our situation and my fear over potentially losing her, turns to desperate lust.
In a flash we’re both shirtless. Breanne yanks down my pants and boxers and drops to her knees. As much as I love her taking me in her mouth, I need to be inside her. I lift her up and quickly undo her pants, shoving them down to her calves. I’m so wild for her that I can’t be bothered with taking them off. I lower us both to the ground, and lift her legs over her head. Spreading her legs as far apart as possible given the restraint her pants have created, I crawl through the opening. With her legs secured high on my back, I waste no time finding her sweet spot and slide home with a forceful drive.
I capture her mouth with mine, swallowing both of our groans. The way she works her hips, meeting me thrust for thrust, it’s clear she needs this just as much as I do. Neither of us holds back and I know it won’t be long. Pain and pleasure blend into one amazing sensation. Her nails dig into my back at the same time her sex clenches around me like a vice.
“Harder,” she demands and I happily comply until we both detonate.
“I’ve missed you,” she pants.
“Me too, baby.”
The tides are turning, and if that means I could lose her, then I’ll do whatever I can to keep this and anything else that threatens us, away. Even if it means keeping her in the dark.
ELEVEN
What's In a Name
The weeks leading up to Christmas were magical. We celebrated Drew’s renewed contract with the Red Sox, and his birthday shortly thereafter. The day before Christmas Eve, my father flew in from London and Drew’s parents drove in from New York. Having everyone together was more than I could have wished for, though there wasn’t enough room for everyone to stay at my place, so at 6am Drew dragged his poor parents from his house so that he could be here
when the kids came downstairs to do presents. The expressions on their faces when they opened their personalized Red Sox jerseys were priceless. I got one as well, but what do you think was on the back of mine? That’s right, the surname ‘Scott’ above the number four.
Smartass.
Every time I wear it I tell him it’s out of obligation, and since that’s pretty often, he knows I love it. What made it even better is that for his present I got him a Yankee’s jersey with the same thing–his last name and our number. He only wears it around his house or mine, but I know he loves it too.
If you knew nothing about my life other than what the outside world sees, you’d think things were perfect, and for the most part they are. But ever since we returned from New York a few weeks back, Drew’s mind has been elsewhere and I’m really starting to worry. He’s hiding something. I don’t know what it is, but something’s off.
Today is New Year’s Eve and instead of ringing in 2015 in style, I’m laid up on the couch, exhausted and fighting a cold that has run it’s course through the house and refuses to leave my system. Drew thinks the stress is getting to me and I’m starting to agree. He actually made me promise I’d go to the doctor if I didn’t start feeling better this week, and he’s withholding sex until I do. If I said he’d only be punishing himself it’d be a total lie. The man plays my body like it’s an instrument he invented.
Determined to stay awake to mark another ‘first’ in our relationship, I’ve refused to take cold medicine tonight. Instead, I’m sipping tea and watching Drew and the kids play ‘Just Dance’.
A little after 11pm, Sarah announces that although she’s had a lovely evening, she’s exhausted and won’t make it until midnight. She plants a peck on my cheek and hugs the children goodbye.
“Should you be driving, Sarah? You’ve had a few drinks throughout the night and there’s a ton of people driving that shouldn’t be.”
“Nonsense, I’ll be fine,” she insists. “My place is only a few miles away.”
“Breanne’s right. Let me drive you home,” my father offers.
Sarah tries to refuse, but loses in the end. I wave goodbye to them and close my eyes for a few seconds and imagine myself on a beach. We definitely need a real vacation.
I must have drifted off because I wake to the kids shaking me as the countdown begins. Letting them stay up until midnight was Drew’s idea and I’m shocked that they actually made it. Before Drew has a chance to throw out an age related quip, I quickly get up and take a glass of sparkling grape juice from Colin.
“Six, five, four, three, two, one. Happy New Year!” All of us chant as the ball falls.
We all toast and the kids jump up and down, cheering as Drew blasts ‘Celebrate’ over the sound system. Maddie jumps into his arms from the chair she’s been dancing on and squeals as Drew twirls her around. Colin and Aubrey grab my hands and we gallop in a circle on our makeshift dance floor. The song comes to an end and I announce that it’s time for bed and everyone groans—including Drew.
“Come on Mom,” Colin protests.
“Just a little bit longer,” Aubrey chimes in.
“Please, please, more dancing, Daddy!” Maddie cries.
The music. Literally. Stops.
Everyone besides Maddie, who is frantically shaking Drew while continuing to call him ‘Daddy’, is frozen.
It just so happens that my reaction is a full on coughing fit. Colin runs to grab me a glass of water at the same time Aubrey begins crying and runs off. Drew looks like a deer caught in headlights, and Maddie doesn’t have an inkling that anything is wrong.
“I think your Mom’s right, sweetheart. It’s time for bed,” Drew says, snapping out of it.
“Noooooo!” Maddie wails.
“We can dance more tomorrow, ok?”
My coughing subsides and I ask Colin to help Maddie get ready for bed so that I can check on Aubrey.
“Can’t we stay up until you’re done?” he asks.
“Fine,” I cave, not having the energy to fight. “But I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Climbing the stairs to her room, I think back to when I was a kid. I’d always assumed that adults had the answers to everything. I figured that I’d wake up one day and be full of wisdom. No one tells you when you’re young that adults are just bigger versions of your former self, only you have more experience…and that experience doesn’t necessarily prepare you for difficult conversations. Not all questions have answers. There’s not always a good response. And sometimes, like now, adults have no idea what to say to make things better.
“Knock, knock,” I say, opening Aubrey’s door a crack.
The lights are off, save for her flashlight. She ignores me and continues making shadow puppets on the wall, so I take a seat on the edge of her bed.
“Can we talk?” I ask, rubbing her feet through her comforter.
“He isn’t Dad.”
“I know that, and so does Drew. He was just as surprised as the rest of us.”
“You didn’t tell Maddie to stop.”
“You’re right, Aubrey. I didn’t.”
“Tell her she can’t call him that.”
Unsure of how to respond, I think about her statement for a long minute. “Baby, I know it’s hard to put yourself in Maddie’s shoes, but from her perspective Drew is the only man besides your Grandpa that she can remember being in her life. She was just a baby when—”
“When he left us.”
“Yeah, when he passed away.”
“I can’t either,” she cries into her pillow.
“Can’t what, honey?”
“Remember him.”
I crawl up behind her and wrap her up in my arms. “Shh, baby. I know.”
“I. Wanna. Go to. Sleep,” she chokes out through trembling sobs.
“Ok. We can talk more in the morning. Can I hold you?”
Aubrey nods and eventually falls asleep in my arms, mumbling incoherently as she enters a peaceful slumber.
When I go back downstairs I quietly walk into the living room, watching Drew play a game of checkers with Colin, while Maddie sits on his lap. I know Aubrey’s hurting, and she has every right to feel that way, but I love the way Drew has respected boundaries yet has still assumed a father-like relationship with all of them. I need to think on this. Yawning, I straighten my posture and walk back in the room, letting the stress of that last 30 minutes shed from me like snake skin. Drew looks up and gives me a faint smile. As I get closer, Colin does the same. Then there’s Maddie, who’s not only unfazed, but doesn’t even look tired.
“Alright kids, it’s after midnight. Say goodnight and head upstairs to get ready for bed.”
Colin gets up and gives Drew a fist-bump and then throws his arms around me. He’s more than likely worried about how all of this is impacting us, than giving his feelings any thought. “Thanks for letting us stay up, Mom.”
“I love you, Colin. I’ll be up in a bit.”
“It’s ok. It’s late. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I turn to Maddie who has her arms wrapped tightly around Drew’s neck.
“Alright little miss, it’s time for bed. You need to let go of Drew.” I reach out my arms to take her, only instead of coming to me she tightens her grip.
“No! Daddy take me.”
There’s that name again.
My stomach twists in knots. I look up at Drew through my lashes, unsure of what kind of reaction I’ll find. Panic is what I’m expecting. Love is what I see.
“I can help, unless you think it’s a bad idea,” he says, hopeful.
I smile and gesture for him to make his way upstairs. Once I have Maddie changed into her PJ’s, I lean against the bathroom door and watch Drew brush her teeth. It completely melts my heart. When they’re finished, Drew puts Maddie into bed and I’m shocked that he doesn’t allow her to scam him into reading her a story. What’s more impressive is that she doesn’t make an appeal. Drew tucks her in and kisses the top of her hea
d, then kisses me on the forehead as he walks out of the room. I listen to him head back down the stairs and then tuck Maddie in myself.
My eyes widen in shock. She doesn’t want to lose Drew. How did I not see that? She doesn’t remember Mark, but she’s also worried about the possibility of allowing another man into her heart in that capacity because in the end he may leave too.
Walking into the kitchen, I find Drew sitting on a stool at the counter with his arms tented before him, deep in thought. I’m a grown adult, yet I’m nervous as hell to discuss what happened tonight. A ghost of a smile creeps across Drew’s face and it’s clear that he’s just as nervous as I am.
“Happy New Year,” he says, kicking out the stool next to him and gestures for me to sit.
I take a seat and rest my elbows on the counter, until Drew spins my chair so that I’m facing him. He pulls the stool closer so that his legs surround mine.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Drew softly commands. I open my mouth to speak but words fail me. “Is she ok?”
“She will be.” It’s all I can offer without knowing how he feels. “Have we scared you off?”
When I don’t lift my head to see his response, Drew tips my chin up with his finger.
“Just the opposite,” he says.
“You’re so calm about this.”
“How’d you think I’d react?”
I shrug. “I don’t know how to react. On the one hand, I’m elated that Maddie loves you that much to give you that title.”
“And on the other hand?” he probes.
“I feel sad that she can’t remember Mark.” Drew nods. “I don’t want to take away from how she feels for you, and just like I’m not going to force Aubrey or Colin into calling you something they may never be able to, I don’t want to tell Maddie that she can’t call you that. But I also don’t want to push you away because this is moving too fast.”
“Are you asking me if we’re moving too fast or telling me that you think we are?”
Rundown (Curveball Book 2) Page 13