Rundown (Curveball Book 2)

  Before I have a chance to respond, she’s out of the shower. I glance down at my chest but at this angle I can’t make out what it says. Curious, I step out of the shower and wipe the steam from the mirror. Written in small letters inside her handprint are the words: every word; all yours; forever.

  SEVENTEEN

  Showing Your Hand

  Shedding my drenched clothes onto the bedroom floor, I find a dry t-shirt in Drew’s drawer, toss it on and slink under the covers of his bed. Normally, I’d care enough to clean up my mess or at least worry about ruining the carpet. These aren’t normal circumstances though, and I’m so tired…too tired to care. Last night was one of the most intense nights of my life and every moment has been swirling around inside my head. Despite getting over eight hours of sleep, I’m drained.

  If it weren’t for the hours leading up to Mark’s reappearance, I’d wish for the entire day to be erased from my memory. No matter how bad the end of the day was, I never want to forget Drew’s proposal, and I should have been smart enough to empathize with how all of this must be affecting him. Comparing the way Drew withheld information to Mark’s secret life was unfair; I knew it as soon as the words left my mouth. Selfishly, it didn’t stop me from storming off like an adolescent. Still, Drew needs to understand that keeping a secret, whatever it is, won’t do anything but push us apart.

  I lie with my back to the bathroom door, staring blankly at the wall. I should probably go back in there and apologize. The whole lipstick thing was a bit over the top. He’s not a mind reader and he wasn’t present for most of my conversation with Mark; how could I expect him to know that even if Mark wanted me back, I could never get past what he did? I really have no idea what I was thinking…maybe that’s the problem, I’m not thinking. My fuse is so short lately all I do is react. If I had to guess, that’s probably how Drew felt when he took off my ring.

  Closing my eyes, I shake my head at how ridiculous my behavior was. Drew’s my rock…my world.

  I should really go back in there.

  My eyes flutter open and the bed dips. Did I fall asleep? Drew pulls a few damp strands of hair that are stuck to my cheek and neck to the side and nuzzles into my nape. He wraps himself around me, warming me instantly. I turn into him, bringing our noses together, and I feel completely content. I just want to stay here and snuggle but we seriously need to talk.

  “I’m so sorry,” I begin.

  “Me too,” he sighs. “I shouldn’t have taken your ring or jumped to conclusions without talking to you. It was stupid.”

  “Keeping you in the dark wasn’t any better.”

  “I didn’t really give you a chance to explain. And seeing how there’s something I’ve kept from you, I had no right to react like that.”

  “True, but it didn’t really warrant my crazy outburst.”

  Drew chuckles. “Your brand of crazy is hot…I like the tattoo.”

  I lean back and glance down at Drew’s chest. “You should make it permanent,” I joke.

  “I was thinking the same thing.”

  When my laughter subsides, I scoot back marginally so I can look Drew in the eyes. “Let’s talk.”

  “Can I go first?” Drew asks.

  I bite my lip and nod, nervous about what he’s been hiding. Drew rolls out of bed and picks his wallet up from the dresser. He takes out a folded up piece of paper, which I assume is the note he found in the barn.

  “I’ve struggled with not showing you this,” he says, making his way back to the bed. “When you read the last part you might understand why I kept it to myself.”

  My forehead scrunches, anxious to see what he’s talking about. I take the piece of paper and begin reading.

  “Why’d she leave a poem?” I ask.

  “That was her thing. It’s not so much of a poem as it is a riddle.”

  “What’s 1-4-3?”

  “Her code for ‘I love you’.”

  Smiling, I caress his cheek. I really wish I’d gotten to see Drew and Alexis’s relationship firsthand. Knowing how protective and loving he was of his sister makes it hard to imagine he ever treated women as playthings.

  I close my eyes and let the words marinate. “The line ‘dangling in front of you’ must be referring to my necklace,” I state and Drew agrees. “To keep it out of harms way, you’d store it in the jewelry box, right?”

  “Maybe. It made me think of the safe at her house which was taken.”

  My mouth twists, contemplating. “What does the rest mean to you?” I ask. Clearly there’s negative connotation to him or he would have shown this to me months ago.

  “Not much. That’s part of the problem. The only clock she’s given me was the compass watch I used to wear. I shattered the glass on it when I was hammered the night I thought I lost you for good,” Drew recalls. “The watch was the last Christmas gift I ever got from Alexis. I’d never have broken it had I been sober, and she’d have known that I’d cherish it…the reference must be about something else.”

  “Unless she was giving you permission to break it,” I suggest.

  “Hmm, I’m not sure.”

  “Or what if there’s something else at the barn? Like near a broken window?”

  “Maybe. I guess it could be anything. I can’t go back to New York until after spring training, but it’s worth looking into,” he says.

  “Like you said, it could be anything…I’m making things up.”

  “Good strategy,” he muses.

  “What upset you about the last part?”

  “It reads like a premonition to me…‘when the tides have changed’. Mark showing up certainly would be a good reason for you to say goodbye. I didn’t know he was going to return when I found the letter, but I sensed that something was coming.”

  “And you thought you’d have to let me go?”

  “There’s nothing else I’d care about saying goodbye to.”

  Mulling this over, his behavior makes sense. Even so, I’m not convinced of his interpretation.

  “She couldn’t have known we’d get together, Drew. When I spoke to Cassandra at the gala the other night, she told me Vivian suggested I take her seat on Innovation Airways. I’ll tell you more about that in a minute, but I don’t think me being on the plane was pre-meditated. At least not far enough in advance for your sister to have known.”

  I look at the letter again. “I wish there was a date on this,” I say.

  “Me too. I don’t remember her going home after last Christmas.”

  “Do you think she knew then?”

  “No. We shared everything…besides if she wrote this months before her death, why would she have kept it to herself?”

  “I’m not sure.” I read the last few lines again. “For what it’s worth, I think her reference to saying goodbye could just as easily apply to a possession…like the watch, or her house. If she had a safe, there could have been something important in there.”

  “You’re right.” He cups my chin with his hand and strokes my lower lip with his thumb thoughtfully. “No more secrets.”

  “No more secrets,” I agree.

  I hand the letter back to Drew and watch him fold it and put it back in his wallet.

  “I don’t want to disappoint her. She wanted me to find this letter and get to the bottom of this for a reason. It’s frustrating.”

  “Hey,” I say, offering him my hand. “We’ll figure it out.”

  “That’s the goal,” he half-heartedly agrees. “Look, I want to keep this between us until we figure it out, ok?”

  “You got it,” I reply, knowing how important this is to him.

  He inhales and puffs out his cheeks as he slowly exhales. “You know…being forced to leave you alone with Mark…I felt helpless. It brought me back to the basement of the safe house. You could have been in danger and there wasn’t a damn thing I could have done about it.”

  “He wouldn’t hurt me, Drew.”

  “Hasn’t he already?” he challenges, and I know he�
�s referring to the emotional toll Mark’s supposed death had taken on me.

  “I’m sorry you felt that way. It was overwhelming. I didn’t think about how it must have felt for you. I’m sorry.”

  Taking a deep breath, I pull Drew all the way back into bed and begin telling him about everything that happened after he was taken from the kitchen last night. From Mark being in the CIA and faking his own death because of the group responsible for the plane going down, to the house being bugged, and Vivian being a threat. He’s not surprised about the link between Mark and Innovation Airways, though we can’t figure out how Alexis is linked to all of this. We agree that Vivian is probably what Alexis was trying to warn me about with the necklace. The woman I once considered a close friend wants something I have according to Mark and I have no idea what it is.

  Silence stretches long after I’m finished. He’s processing…I think.

  “You’re awfully quiet,” I say. Lying on my side, I prop my head up on my hand. “What are you thinking about?”

  “At the event I kept trying to figure out how I knew Vivian and why I felt off about it; it wasn’t just that I’d met her before, it was something about her necklace.”

  “The one that said ‘VIV’?”

  Drew nods. “I’ve seen that exact design before, but at the time I thought they were Roman numerals.”

  “515,” I whisper, recalling the numbers Drew’s been chanting in his sleep.

  “Yeah, 515.”

  “Most of her jewelry bares her nickname, though now that I think of it, no one really calls her Viv. At least not that I’ve ever heard.”

  “What if it’s not a nickname? Maybe it’s code for something.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’m not sure exactly, but I’m positive it has to do with what happened at Alexis’s house.”

  Our conversation is interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I check the number and quickly send the call to voicemail, despite having no room left for new messages.

  “Who was that?” Drew asks.

  “Reporters I think. Ever since your trip to California, I’ve been getting calls from random people.”

  “I’ll talk to Brett about it tonight,” he reassures me. “Speaking of tonight, we’re supposed to talk with Mark later. I thought I had the rest of the day to lounge with you but Brett called and the Sox management is pulling the team together. With spring training coming up my schedule’s going to get more hectic. I can’t get out of this.”

  “I’m not going anywhere without you. Will you ask Everett to let them know it’s not happening today.”

  “Yes,” he smiles. “Right after our nap. I need to hold you.”

  “Sounds perfect,” I reply, resting my head on his chest. “But only if I get my ring back.”

  I expect him to get out of bed and retrieve it. Instead, he picks up my hand and slides it back into place.

  After gushing to my family about Drew’s proposal and showing off my ring, I’m surprisingly in a much better place. Everyone was ecstatic about the news, Colin in particular who apparently went with Drew after the charity event a few weeks back to pick up my ring. Between that and getting my father’s blessing ahead of time, I’m not sure Drew could have done anything better.

  Hours later, Drew’s at his team meeting, the kids are asleep and Sarah’s gone for a few days seeing her youngest son. Besides Corinne who’s in the other room, I’m basically alone. Wandering to what used to be Mark’s office, I stand in the doorway and reflect on how Mark’s obsession with American history and our country in general now makes sense. It always seemed over the top, but then again you’d only literally give up your life for something you truly believed in, which is more than I can say for how he felt about our family.

  I used to love this house and now I want nothing more than to be out of it. The memories are so tainted I want to leave tonight and never look back. If it weren’t for the kids I’d do just that, but they deserve better. They need closure on this chapter of their life and I won’t let this impact them, although a part of me desperately wants to tell the kids that Mark’s alive. I’m so sick of all the lies; it seems unfair that I keep this from them. Perhaps one day he could be back in their lives. I don’t know what that would require or if I have a choice. Who knows if they’d want a relationship with him after what he did. I sure as hell don’t.

  The temperature in the house becomes too much and I don’t for one minute believe the thermostat’s reading of 68 degrees. I need fresh air. Feeling like a child, I let Corinne know I’ll be in the backyard and want to be alone. She’s clearly uncomfortable so we agree that she’ll sit on the deck and stay out of my hair.

  Being that it’s the middle of winter, I put on my coat and grab a blanket. I also take a bag of chocolate covered pretzels and a glass of wine and trek out to the kids swing set. I’m out here no less than five minutes, absentmindedly swaying, when an unwelcome visitor ruins my peace.

  “I don’t want to see you,” I say.

  “Yes, I believe Everett delivered that message.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “There are things I need to say to you.”

  “Answers would be nice.”

  “We’ll get to that,” he says, clearly in no rush.

  “What else is there to discuss, Mark?”

  “Us.”

  I recoil at the statement. “Us,” I repeat sarcastically. “Was there really ever an ‘us’?”

  “This must be difficult for you to understand, and I know you won’t believe me, but I’m going to say it anyway,” he tells me, taking a seat on the vacant swing to my right. “I married you because I loved you…I still love you. I’m the same man you shared your life with.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “For the most part it is,” he replies. “The first time I saw you, I wanted to know you better. I put off asking you out for years because I couldn’t deny that you were the one for me. I understood what that meant for us given my career,” he explains, sounding nostalgic.

  “After our first date…that first kiss, I couldn’t go back. I wanted a normal life and selfishly I wanted my job too. I convinced myself that I could have both and that it wouldn’t affect you. I never meant to hurt you. I want you to know that leaving you and our children was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

  “Couldn’t have been that hard,” I mutter, looking up at the sky.

  Mark sighs, his frustration evident.

  “I used to think about it a lot; your suicide. It literally consumed me every single day for nearly two years. I can’t tell you how often I’ve replayed that last morning with you. Always wondering what I could have done to make you stay; to make you want to live.” My eyes burn as they fill with tears. “Do you know what it’s like to blame yourself for someone else being so miserable that they’d end their own life?”

  “Not firsthand, no. The fact that you thought that…” Mark pauses and drops his head. “It’s not the same as what you experienced, but I’ve always been there while you grieved,” he states.

  I look to him and internally repeat what he said. “Vivian isn’t the only one listening then?”

  “The day I walked out should have been the last time I saw you or heard your voice. Two weeks after I left, I was struggling. I thought about quitting and taking you and the kids to some secluded place where no one would find us,” he explains. “Instead, I rigged the house with listening devices because anything else was too risky. It wasn’t the same as being there but I at least got to keep a part of you in my life, even if all it did was torture me.”

  I can’t help but release a humorless laugh. “How exactly did we torture you?”

  “Simple. I heard everything and couldn’t be a part of it. You crying and your constant nightmares were the worst because I caused both. I badly wanted to fix things, to be with you again…I told myself that after this case was over, maybe you’d want that too.” Mark pauses, silently watching me. “Since you
r ordeal with Drew, everything’s changed. Now I hear your laughter and…”

  “And what?”

  “Closure,” he says, a hint of sadness in his voice. “That’s a different kind of torture.”

  “That’s not remotely close to what me and the kids went through,” I exclaim. “Forgive me for not feeling sorry for your situation.”

  “I don’t expect you to. Believe me, I deserve your anger. Deep down I do want you to be happy. There’s a difference though, between wanting something because it’s the right thing, and hearing it take place.”

  “What rooms are bugged?” I ask anxiously.

  “Everywhere but the bathrooms.”

  I release the breath I was holding and replay moments from the last two years. What would it have been like for him? So he heard my nightmares and my crying sessions in the closet. He also would have heard the kids bonding with Drew, maybe even Maddie calling him ‘daddy’. The bitch in me hopes that he did.

  “How’d you do it? Fake your death I mean.”

  “The police officer, mortician, Vivian…they were all in on it. I had to include Vivian in order to build her trust. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t think you’d come in to the room. Vivian was supposed to do whatever she had to do to be the one who identified my body. When I heard you fall to the floor…I wished I were dead.”

  “In that moment I hated you.”

  “I hated myself.”

  “Why didn’t you just quit?”

  “If it had been that simple…I told you yesterday, I didn’t have a choice.”

  “You did, actually. You chose your job over us.”

  “You sound like Dosdell,” he says and my head jerks toward him.

  “You know him?”

  “He’s my mentor.” I try to process this.

  “So your mentor advised you to leave the agency but you stayed anyway?”

  “Dosdell wanted me to leave the agency, partly due to his own past. His cover was blown during one of his operations years ago and his wife and son were murdered as a result. He never had the chance to choose running or staying in his job. He was forced into his fate. When he started looking after you as a favor to me, he was pissed…pissed that I didn’t at least try to get out before things got bad, or ask to be reassigned. Deep down, he knows that I would have been in danger either way, and putting you and our children at risk wasn’t an option for me. I took the option I thought was best.”