by Rayns, Lisa
I couldn’t wait another minute to get out on my own but I could have been happier. I’d wished for Draven at sunrise to at least tell him goodbye and return his jewelry. He didn’t show, and I was still coming to terms with the fact that he’d given up on me.
It had been a torturous effort not to wish for him over the years but I couldn’t trust myself. He drew me. Every look he’d ever given me affected me down in my gut. Every word he’d ever said seemed sincere and riddled with meaning. I’d never wanted anyone more.
“I am waiting for you.” At the memory, I almost slammed on the breaks and turned around to go find him. If only I’d had any idea where to look in Seattle, I would have. Without knowing his last name, I couldn’t very well look him up in the phone book. Now, I doubted he would be able to read my mind from so far away.
“No. No. No. He’s forgotten all about you by now!” I argued to myself, yelling freely out the side window of my car.
My car–Hecate. The dark blue car I’d bought as a gift to myself. The one I’d drooled over every day between school and my jobs that always had to be within walking distance of a bus route. The car that screamed speed and power from its mere presence belonged to me, and I loved it. It was my ticket out––out of Portland and out of my childhood. The time had come to be free from all of that and become the person I was, the woman I was.
I’d called a real estate agent six months ago and made my specifications: a rural property with the most square footage for the least amount of money anywhere in the United States as long as it had a good foundation and working utilities. Somewhere without earthquakes, I added as an afterthought. The agent came up with a small acreage in South Dakota, and I grabbed it faster than my car could make a mile.
My dream had finally become reality, and now I was on my way to the middle of nowhere––happily. At the memory of Draven, I modified my thoughts––almost happily.
The first of June proved South Dakota was a beautiful state. Water ran in the creeks and streams that lay buried deep in the mountain valleys. Trees went on forever, creating beautiful emerald canopies that rose high over the carpeted green floor of grasslands. The winding roads offered her a spectacular view of the rich valleys below and hidden paradises that would have pleased any of the great naturalist authors.
Portland was a distant memory, and soon I would be standing in my new, paid-for home on the edge of the world, or the edge of eastern South Dakota anyway. In one short month, I’d become a homeowner, and in less than six hours I’d finally be home––my home. I’d finally be ready to begin my new life as a New York Times bestselling author.
“A little romp out of the way to take in Deadwood, check. Sturgis, check.” I glanced over at the dead President’s faces, all smiling in welcome. “Mount Rushmore, check.”
Hitting the gas, I raced toward Wall to refuel and grab duplicates of each postcard. I didn’t have the time to stop for pictures if I wanted to make the desert before sunset. The Badlands held a particular interest for me since I’d first read about them in the travel guide. Exiled in the center of a land rich with the lush green colors of growth and life, the brown rock formations that seemed to go on forever were barren, out of place, like I’d felt most of my life.
Pulling off the interstate, I found an empty lookout point that offered a fascinating view of the rocks, plunging upward out of the dry, eroded ground. The setting sun cast a beautiful, red glow on the ridges when I held the camera away and snapped several pictures of myself against the landscape. And then suddenly, I felt very alone.
I had the social skills to fit in anywhere. Years of waitressing had taught me how to please people, how to tell them what they wanted to hear, but I was never interested in fitting in with my peers. Even Brenda, who’d I’d spent most of my time with, was kept at a distance, away from my heart and real feelings.
But that wasn’t what bothered me. It was the not dating that bothered me and the fact that Draven hadn’t shown up again to give me another shot at our failed date. I was twenty now, two years older, but the loss of missing out on my first date and my first kiss left an empty hole in my heart.
I got back into my car and sat there until long after the sun went down, letting my lonely feelings fill to the brim and then slowly release themselves through tears. I regretted not waiting for him, and I found myself crushed by the feeling of loss that came with the probability that I’d never see him again. I should have waited.
When my body tingled and my heart fluttered, I wiped my tears and looked around in the darkness. The large, bright moon was already making its way up into the heavens, but I saw nothing else. I shook my head, feeling foolish. How long have I been sitting here?
Reaching for the ignition, I turned the key. Nothing happened.
“Crap! Not good timing, Hecate.”
Popping the hood, I reached into the glove box for a flashlight. I then sighed, remembering I’d moved it to the trunk which was now jam-packed with all of my belongings. I got out and lifted the hood anyway. To my surprise, a light came on and illuminated the engine. No fluids sprayed out, no hoses were snapped and mangled. Everything looked fine, which concluded the extent of what I knew about engines.
“What seems to be the problem?”
I gasped, turning to see a man walking toward me. I didn’t know if I should be scared that a man just appeared out of nowhere or if I should thank God for sending me help. When he walked into the light, I knew it was the latter. My heart fluttered again, right before it did a nosedive and stopped beating all together. It was him.
My knees shook when he smiled at me, looking exactly the same as I remembered him. Guilt kicked in strong, and I felt like a thief in the night sneaking off with his jewels. He didn’t seem upset though. He just stood there with his perfect hair, his perfect face, and his black dress shirt flapping in the breeze like some dark angel. The shock and guilt made it impossible for me to focus on anything but his large, muscular body that was overpowering, intimidating, and so damn close.
I collapsed on the pavement, hitting my elbow and head before instinct kicked in and I started breathing again. What the hell was that? My face flushed with embarrassment when I quickly stood up and brushed myself off. I bit my bottom lip, trying to make sense of what he was saying.
“Breathe, Elizabeth.” He wore a concerned expression.
“I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you.”
He smiled kindly. “I never asked you to.”
“And I wasn’t trying to steal your jewelry, I swear. I just didn’t know how to return it.”
“They belong to you, Elizabeth.” This time he said my name slower, letting the word fall out of his mouth melodiously.
I closed my eyes, fighting with all my strength not to reach out and touch him. “How did you find me?” I finally managed when my mouth remembered how to form words.
“Did I frighten you?” He leaned down to look at the engine and touch things.
Instantly jealous, I felt more heat rise into my face as I watched his nimble fingers work under the hood. “I mean, how did you get here? I didn’t see a car following me or any lights.”
He evened his face to mine, smirked, and shook his head. “There’s no car.”
I stared back at him, captivated by his face that was only inches away. Under his gaze, I had to remind myself to keep breathing––twice. It wasn’t like I’d never been that close to him before, but it felt different now. This time I had no strict schedules, and no one expected me home. I was older, I felt like an adult, and that gave a completely new meaning to his reappearance.
I broke eye contact first, turning quickly to avoid the light-headedness that invaded my mind. I ignored the fact that he was dressed too classy to be hitchhiking and gave into my first question. “So, are you still waiting for me?”
“No.”
My heart crashed hard, and I wished I’d have never heard the answer. I didn’t expect him to be so honest, although I knew he had to have tired of me.
Still, anger swelled up in my chest and started to curl around my breaking heart. “Why the hell not?”
He smiled, clearly amused by my rising temper. “Because I don’t have to wait anymore.”
Relief washed over me so strongly that I lost my footing for a moment and stumbled backward a step. “Oh.”
“You might as well ask.”
Oh, right. The question I should ask right now. How did you find me? What do you mean there’s no car? Do you need a ride and maybe some company? “So…if you’re not waiting anymore, does that mean we can date?”
“Yes,” he said confidently.
I smiled, but it slid off quickly. “What about…that other thing you said was going to happen?” I had stopped thinking or talking about my death sentence bluntly.
He stood at the question, his face unreadable. “Forgive me. I should not have told you.”
“No, it’s okay. I know you really believe it’s true. Besides, I’ve had more fun this way. I went out with Brenda a couple of times,” I said awkwardly.
“That’s good,” he said with a smile. “I’ve missed you.”
His eyes filled me with peace. I prayed that he would take me into his arms and soon! “I’m going east, if Hecate here ever starts.”
“You named your car Hecate?”
“Yes, she’s the goddess of––”
“The crossways, the dark side of the moon, and magic,” he said in a strong voice, looking up at the waning moon. “That’s an appropriate name for her.”
“Wow, you’re the first person to get that without me having to explain it.”
“East, huh?”
“Yeah…to edge of nowhere,” I called musically, trying to make it sound alluring.
“I’ve never been there.” Charm dribbled down his sculpted chin, making me want to kiss him and perhaps plant a flag in his heart to forever claim him as my own.
“There’s a first time for everything,” I dared. I wasn’t worried that my loneliness might be driving me into a crazy, flirtatious frenzy. All I thought about was how irresistible he looked. I wanted to take him home more than anything.
“Yes, there is,” he agreed. “Do you mind if I give her a try?”
“Sure, the keys are inside.”
The car started on his first try and purred beneath his body. Of course, who wouldn’t be purring beneath his body? With his tall form and strong, rippling build, he looked like he could lift the car and carry it home, not to mention what he could do to…
“Are you all right?” his smooth, deep voice whispered into my ear.
My face flushed from my impure thoughts and the new, but oh-so-real feelings that were developing. “I’m fine. Can I get a ride?”
He laughed, nodding toward Hecate. “It’s your car.”
I giggled girlishly, betraying my hatred of women that turned into fools around handsome men, and then looked away in an attempt to compose myself. When he shut the hood, darkness filled the air, and my senses grew ever more aware of his presence. His sweet musky scent told me he stood very close, and my heart beat faster in the darkness. I ached to reach out and touch him. “Thanks for getting her started.”
I walked over to the driver’s side door but when he didn’t move, my heart wretched unbearably with the fear that he wouldn’t come with me. “Will you take me?” I asked softly.
“Yes,” he breathed, somehow right behind me again.
When I turned to see his serious eyes in the moonlight, I sensed he wasn’t talking about driving at all. Heat burned through my skin but the following moment of silence seemed to last an eternity. His body was so close to mine. I waited for him to kiss me. I prayed for him to kiss me.
Instead, he seized a length of my hair and leaned over to inhale. “You look like an angel, and you smell like heaven.”
The damn giggle came out again. “That would be a better line if you could actually see me when you said it.”
“I see you.” He leaned over again to whisper into my ear, “I know you.”
I cleared my throat, finding it hard to talk or think. “You think you know me, huh?”
“I know you like to go fast.”
Like a gentleman, he opened the passenger door for me before he settled into the driver’s seat. Under the dome light, I had a better view of his face, and for a moment, I couldn’t move. Draven was actually here with me. He was sitting in my car. He was driving me off into the sunset––or into the moonlight anyway. When I finished examining him, I realized that he’d been doing the same to me, and I quickly turned away. “Are you going to leave again?”
He didn’t respond, but the dome light went off when he put the car in drive and headed to the interstate. When I turned to him, he smiled. “What would you say if I told you, ‘Now that I have you, I’m never letting you go’?”
I’d say thank you God! “Are you saying that?”
He smiled, but left a long silence before he responded. “Would it frighten you?”
“Is that your intention?”
He laughed easily. “Don’t you ever just answer a question?”
“You seem to have the same habit.” The dash lights illuminated his face enough for me to see that he wasn’t planning on responding.
“Have you ever redlined her?” he asked, his voice strong and sexy.
“No.”
“Have you ever wanted to?”
“Yes.”
He flashed a dreamy smile. “Put your seat belt on.”
I buckled in securely, not questioning. If he would have asked me to jump off a bridge, who knew!
“Were you afraid of getting into an accident?”
“Maybe, but she wants it. She loves the thrill, and she deserves it once in her life.” When he shot me an offhanded glance, I hoped he realized that I was the one not talking about the car this time.
The engine roared to life, meeting the challenge, and the car sped faster and faster until the white dotted lines started to blur into one single streak on the road. I had a death grip on the door but I felt excited, glowing with the fever of adventure.
“Let go,” he insisted, nodding toward my hand.
I let go of the handle, rolled down the window and stuck my hand outside. “It feels like we’re flying.” When he let the car slow down to the speed limit, I giggled. “Thanks. That was awesome!”
He gave me a satisfied glance. “You don’t scare very easily, do you?”
“What’s the deal with you wanting to scare me all of a sudden?”
“That’s quite the opposite of what I want.” His serious face looked at me for so long that I thought we’d go in the ditch but the car stayed perfectly in our lane.
“How do you do that?” I asked curiously.
He grinned before his eyes returned to the road. “Do what?”
“Move so quickly and silently, drive without watching the road, seduce me without even trying.” I hadn’t meant to reveal so much, but I didn’t feel embarrassed about saying it.
He responded by appearing frustrated.
“So what’s your last name?” I asked, hoping to erase whatever caused his irritation.
“Blackrayne.”
“Well, Draven Blackrayne, is it someday yet?”
“Not yet,” he said flatly but he still seemed tense. Finally, he said, “Tell me why you waited so long to wish for me.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to finish what I started. Why didn’t you show up this morning?”
“Because it wasn’t raining.” He glanced at me. “I won’t ever be far,” he said sincerely.
“Okay.” I greedily accepted the promise which was much better than the someday promise. I couldn’t think of anything more fun than enjoying the ride I was on.
“So I tell you that I’m never leaving you, and you’re not even a little frightened?”
His words were music to my ears. Even better than the “never be far” promise. The night was getting better and better. “No.”
“I’m in lov
e.”
My eyes popped open as I stared at his grinning face. “What did you say?”
“You heard right. I’m fully aware of how perfect your hearing is inside that beautiful, fragile head.”
Fragile? “Is that a threat? Are you still trying to scare me?” My words fell out soft, not pointed.
He seemed upset when he answered. “Relax, please. It was only an observation.”
“What else do you think you know about me?”
“I know you’re still a virgin.”
I slunk back into my seat and rolled my eyes. “That is not something I define myself by. I want what I want, and that was never a priority. End of story. Don’t stereotype me.”
He smiled again but he didn’t respond.
“Well, what else? Let’s hear it.”
“I know you should sleep now.”
“How could I possibly sleep after what you just said to me?” I asked, but when his hand reached across the car to play with a strand of my hair, I did fall unwillingly asleep.
****
At dawn, I awoke in a parking lot alone, and Draven Blackrayne was nowhere in sight. After searching for an hour, I described him to three employees and five customers inside the truck stop but no one claimed to have seen him. I waited in the car for hours, writing in my journal and trying to put into words all the incredible new feelings he had evoked inside of me. When he didn’t return by noon, I lost hope.
“So much for never letting me go,” I mumbled.
For a moment, I thought I’d dreamt the whole night, but I could still smell him in the car, drifting sweetly into my senses. I consoled myself with his promise that he would never be far. It meant something. Everything he’d ever said meant something to me. If only I had a touch to remember him by, a kiss. Oh, how I wanted to kiss him. No, I wanted him to kiss me. There was a difference.
The clerk inside the truck stop seemed polite enough, and when he stopped laughing, he did finally tell me where I was: Watertown, South Dakota. That put me twenty minutes away from my destination. It also verified my suspicion that I wasn’t going crazy. I would have remembered driving that far.