“I’m glad to see you’ve found your backbone again, Vanessa,” he says calmly. “I was beginning to think your hunger had stolen it away.”
“I…” He doesn’t let me finish.
“I’ve also been waiting for you to realize the truth about your grandmother’s condition. When did you realize she was sick?”
I can’t breathe. Panic claims me, and I can’t even think until Ketchup squeezes my hand. “I… it was a few weeks ago,” I lie. “I didn’t understand what it was at first. My hunger was so wild, so overwhelming, that it’s not easy trying to process everything.”
David nods slowly. I’m not sure if I only think I see the calculating look in his eyes, or if I just imagine he’s trying to tell whether or not I’m lying. Sweat breaks out on the back of my neck. David takes a step closer.
“This is a difficult time for separating raw hunger from the information it provides, but you will learn in time.” I watch, frozen, as David rubs his chin thoughtfully. His eyes narrow, but he’s not looking directly at me. He stares just past me when he says, “I trust you understand the implications of your grandmother’s illness.”
I nod slowly. “Yes.” My voice is weak and small. “When she… you’ll become… my guardian, right?”
Nodding, David’s icy eyes turn back to me. “So long as you are willing.”
“Do I actually have a choice?” I ask. I don’t doubt for a minute that he will take me whether or not I consent to becoming his pet.
“Of course you do, Vanessa,” he says seriously, no hint of condescension, for once, “but I do not anticipate your disagreement.”
I have no earthly idea why he wouldn’t expect me to fight him. It’s so baffling that I have to ask. “Why not?”
One corner of his mouth turns up in a tiny, fear-instilling smile. “Because now that your hunger has blossomed, your real training can begin.”
“Why would that make me want to come with you?” I ask.
He leans in, just enough to make my heart jolt with fear. “Because not only will my training give you everything I’ve promised, you’ll enjoy it. Not coming with me simply won’t be an option.”
His words linger even after he brushes past us, as if the conversation was nothing more than a casual pass by. I am trembling as Ketchup pulls me toward the stairs. Neither one of us speaks until we’re behind closed doors.
“What was that?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
Ketchup shakes his head. “I have no idea. Maybe he was just trying to freak you out.”
I want to believe that, but I’ve come to know David’s expressions and body language well enough to know Ketchup is wrong. I shake my head slowly. “He wasn’t joking. He actually believes I’ll want to go live with him.” I look up at Ketchup, scared. “What if he’s right?”
“He’s not,” Ketchup argues. “No matter what he tries to teach you, you’ll never want to become him.”
“But I need to convince him that I do, right?” My head drops into my hands. How am I going to do this? How do I convince David I want to become whatever he is grooming me to be without convincing myself as well?
The sound of buzzing distracts Ketchup. He pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and glances at the screen. “Zander,” he says before handing it over to me.
I press the phone to my ear as if it might contain all the answers I need. “Zander?”
“Hey, Van, how are you feeling?”
“I… I don’t know. Everything is sinking in and Grandma and I are fighting and David knows I know about Grandma and he said I was going to want to come with him when she’s gone and I don’t know what to do.”
“Wait, what?” Zander asks.
When all I can manage is to stumble over my words, Ketchup takes the phone from me and gives Zander a quick rundown of the morning’s events. I wait, sitting on the bed with my bottom lip tucked between my teeth, hoping they’ll figure out what on earth we’re supposed to do now.
When Ketchup hands the phone back to me, I take it reluctantly and raise it to my ear. Zander starts talking right away. “Van, just try and calm down, okay? Everything’s fine. Of course David would expect you to realize Grandma was sick. I can sense her pain, too, not like you can, but any Godling would know she was sick if they got too close to her.”
“Okay,” I say slowly. “Yeah, that makes sense.”
“Don’t worry about Grandma, either. I know she’s not handling all of this like we’d like her to, but you have to remember that she’s probably terrified. She’s losing control over her family, and she knows she won’t be here to protect us much longer. She’s just afraid, and she’s lashing out. Don’t let it get to you, all right?”
I nod and try to convince myself of everything he’s saying. “Okay. All right.”
Zander takes a deep breath before continuing. “The training… who knows what he meant by that? Just stay focused and don’t trust any of the Godlings. Remember why we’re doing this, okay? You’re not going to become David’s prisoner. We won’t let that happen.”
He sounds so confident, so sure. I try to take it in and let it rub off on me, but it’s hard to let go of my fear. Thankfully, Zander continues without me having to answer.
“It does sound like David is planning to take your training up a notch soon, so we need to start making a plan.”
“What kind of plan?” I ask.
“David is still hounding me to recreate whatever I did in the fight with James, but he clearly has a more intense focus on you.”
Zander hesitates, and I can tell he’s not thrilled with whatever he’s planning to say next.
“I don’t like putting you any closer to David than you already are, but I think we both know you’re in a better position than I am to get information out of him,” Zander says, “which means you’ll have to work with him more and convince him you’re worth confiding in.”
“And what about you?”
“I’m… going to focus on the Eroi.”
“What?” I yelp. “Zander, that’s not a good idea! Ivy’s there and she’s still a terrible temptation, and if you kill her…”
“I’m not going to kill her,” he snaps. I hear him blow out a long, heavy breath. “Besides, they won’t even let me near her. It’s Isolde I need to get closer to. She knows way more about the Godlings than she’s willing to share. We need to know what she knows.”
Sighing, I press my head into my free hand. “Zander, this is not a good idea.”
“We don’t have any better ones, and we have to do this.”
I don’t want to, but eventually I say, “I know.”
“We’ll discuss all of this more when I get home, okay?” Zander says. “Try to rest until then and not worry about it too much. David’s not going to start in on this new training until you’re back to your old self.”
I nod slowly, processing everything he’s saying. I latch onto the thought that I’m still safe for at least a little while. David won’t ask me to do anything strenuous until my hunger calms down a bit. It gives me comfort and, eventually, my body calms itself. I still have time. David isn’t going to turn me into his unwilling protégé overnight.
“Okay,” I say, “we’ll talk about this more later. You’re right. I still need to get over my new hunger first.”
“Exactly. So just hang out and relax. You overdid it yesterday. Let Ketchup take care of you,” Zander says.
That’s a good idea. I start nodding and look over at Ketchup, who has no clue what’s going on. “All right, Zander.”
“Good. Just take it easy. I’ll be home tomorrow night.”
“Okay, thanks.”
The line is silent for a few moments, but then Zander says, “Van, about Ketchup…”
My groan is answer enough.
“I’m not going to lecture you,” he says in his defense. “I just want you to be careful.”
I get the impression he’s not talking about safe sex.
“Clearly, David
already knows how much you care about Ketchup, but don’t let that turn him into a target. Stay focused, at least around David. Same goes for the other stuff, too. You know…” Zander stops, the sighing and fidgeting making it obvious he’s uncomfortable with this topic. “I’m not here to judge whatever you and Ketchup might or might not be doing when you’re alone. Just remember, there are consequences… I mean, it wouldn’t be… this isn’t…”
Several odd noises come over the line, startling me. Even more surprising is when Annabelle’s voice is the next one I hear. “What he’s trying to say is that if you and Ketchup are thinking about having sex, just remember that no method of protection is foolproof. Now would be a really bad time to get pregnant. Save that for your happily ever after, got it?”
“Uh, yeah. Got it,” I say awkwardly.
“Thank goodness, that was getting painful. We’ll call to check on you later, okay?”
“Sure… I guess.”
By that point, I’m more than happy to end the call and toss the phone on the bed. This has been such a weird morning. I sink down to the bed and cover my face. Ketchup follows, but stays propped up on one elbow. “Should I ask what that last bit was about?”
“You can’t guess?”
Ketchup chuckles. “Sex again?”
“And babies.”
“Babies, huh? Not the best time for that,” he laughs, “but I’m guessing that was the message your brother was trying to get across.”
“Trying and failing. Annabelle had to spit it out for him.”
Ketchup lifts me gently from my awkward position, half on the bed with my legs dangling off the edge, and settles me more comfortably in my usual spot. He doesn’t need an invitation to settle in next to me. Ketchup has me nestled against him when he says, “We’ll get there, Van, to getting married and babies and all of that.”
“What makes you so sure I’m going to marry you?” I tease, trying to lighten the weird, depressing mood. “I’ve got a promising offer on the table to become a lemming. How’re you planning to top that?”
I expect Ketchup to come back at me with a witty quip but, instead, his expression turns serious. I don’t move a muscle when he draws his hand from his pocket. His fingers stay curled tightly as he brings his hand up between us. Ketchup’s voice is quiet as he says, “I’ll top any other offer with this.”
His fingers uncurl to reveal a simple silver band. It’s nothing fancy, but my breath catches, because I recognize the ring. I was there the day Ketchup’s dad walked out on them. Both of us ran from the den when we heard the yelling and crying. I had seen his parents fight before, but it was different that night, and we both knew it. His mother was hysterical. The pain I felt coming off her was agonizing, but Ketchup’s despair stole my attention. We both watched helplessly as his dad walked out, slamming the door behind him. The rings she tore off her finger pinged uselessly off the door as she crumbled in a heap on the floor.
I felt numb as Ketchup released me and moved to comfort his mom. I didn’t know what to do. When I noticed her wedding band lying on the floor in front of my tennis shoe, I knelt down and picked it up. I looked around for the engagement ring, to rescue it for his mom, but I couldn’t find it. I was still holding the wedding band when Ketchup helped his mom to her feet. She must have noticed me holding it because she stumbled over to me and started crying again as she lifted it from my palm. I think she wanted to throw it a second time but, instead, she handed it to Ketchup and said, “You won’t make the same mistakes I did. You’ll give this to someone who loves you, who deserves you. You’ll give it to someone, and it will be for keeps.” She set it in his palm, on the verge of breaking down again. “Promise me, William. Promise me, please,” she begged.
“I promise,” he said shakily.
At twelve years old, we were more scared than anything else, but I never forgot what she said to him and, clearly, neither did he. I only realize I’m crying when Ketchup brushes away my tears. I look into his eyes, stunned, but not scared like I was that day. His sweet smile won’t let me fear anything.
“I’m not asking you to marry me just yet,” Ketchup says, the corner of his mouth quirking up, “but I promised my mom that when I gave this to someone, it would be for keeps. Every time you see it, I want you to know that I’m with you through whatever is coming. There’s no going back. I won’t leave you, and I won’t let anyone take you away from me.”
Ketchup’s hands are steady as he slips the ring onto my finger. He takes my hand in his and presses it to his lips. Looking up, he smiles despite everything he knows we’re about to face. “I love you, Van.”
“I love you, too,” I say shakily, “and thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“I think maybe I do,” he says softly.
My hands reach out for him, but a sharp knock on my door is immediately followed by the creak of it being pushed away from the doorframe. David steps half into the room. His eyes take in the scene, but he doesn’t comment. Instead, his words send a chill down my spine when he says, “Your next round of training begins tomorrow.”
And then he walks away.
Chapter Seven: Soldiers
(Zander)
“That is not a conversation I ever wanted to have with my sister.” I shake away thoughts of Van and Ketchup being anywhere close to sex, wishing more than ever that my parents were still alive.
Annabelle sets the phone on the coffee table and plops down next to me on the couch. “Technically, I’m the one who had that awkward conversation with your sister, but you get points for trying.”
The corner of my mouth turns up, but it’s halfhearted. “I don’t know if this is the right plan. If I could just show David some hint that I know what the hell I’m doing with my power, I could be the one to get closer to him. Van would be safer working with the Eroi. Isolde would at least think twice about killing her. Me… I’ll be dead the second I mess up.”
“Zander, if you got close to recreating what you did against James, and David found out, that would be the end of this deal.” She shakes her head. “This is the best option.”
Settling back into the couch, I sigh and shake my head. “The best of half a dozen really lousy options. That doesn’t give me a whole lot of confidence.”
“Look,” Annabelle says firmly, “I’m not thrilled with the idea of you spending time with the Eroi… or Ivy, but I know it has to be this way. I have faith in you.”
After last night, it’s hard to put too much stock in Annabelle’s words. She wants to have faith in me and trust that I meant what I said about not having feelings for Ivy, but she’s not quite there yet. I’m not either, but for different reasons. As hard as it was to face Ivy, falling back under her spell isn’t even in the top five reasons I might end up dead.
I push all of that away for now and turn to focus on Annabelle. Her body goes still, wary of my seriousness. Her reaction makes me want to sigh, because I hate that things are so strained between us right now, but maybe this will help begin to iron things out.
“Annabelle, I need to ask you a few questions, and I need you to be honest with me.”
She nods slowly. “I’ll be completely honest.”
“Last night, you said something about how the Godlings have never been able to hide their guilt from you because of your gift, and that’s why you’ve never really trusted them.” I pause, and Annabelle nods. “I need you to explain that.”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” Annabelle says. Her head tilts to one side thoughtfully. “You know how my power works. I rarely use it intentionally, but I still get impressions of people’s emotional pain when I’m around them.”
Nodding, a little impatiently, I say, “Yeah, you explained that before when you told me you could feel how much I’m hurting all the time. What I need to understand is how that guilt translated into you knowing so instinctively not to trust the other Godlings. When did it start?”
I’m caught off guard when Annabelle’s al
ready pale skin goes ashen. I start forward, afraid she might faint, but she waves me off. Her lips press together a moment before she takes in a deep breath and attempts to calm herself. She still sounds shaky when she finally speaks.
“I told you that David was the one who came to get me when my parents couldn’t deal with me anymore, but I didn’t tell you how terrifying that day was.” Annabelle’s hands twist together, her fingertips turning a bloodless white. “I was already scared because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. At three years old, I loved my family, but I kept hurting them because it was the only thing that made me feel better.
“I was so sick and frightened, and I just wanted it all to go away. I didn’t understand why I had been normal and happy just a week before, and then I was this raving, crazy child. My parents didn’t prepare me. All their other kids had been just fine, so they thought they were safe. They didn’t tell me that if I was a Godling, my hunger would begin to emerge as I grew out of my toddler years. They didn’t prepare me at all, and I had no idea what was happening to me.
“I could tell my parents and siblings were afraid of me, and that crushed me, but I didn’t know how to stop.” Annabelle pauses and looks down at her hands in shame. “Then David showed up. At first, everything felt so much better. The sickness went away, my hunger calmed, and I knew I wasn’t alone in what was happening, because I could feel David’s hunger surrounding him.”
I feel heavy listening to Annabelle’s story. I realize for the first time that even though her pain of not understanding and being scared of herself didn’t last as long as mine, it’s something she understands better than I realized. It pulls me to her in a way I wasn’t expecting.
“When did things change with David?”
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